I am – Hercules!!


“The president’s duties are now yours!!”

“I can make it look like a suicide!!”

“Don’t touch him!!”

“Or what??”

“Or you’ll have to kill me too!!”

“The bomb was supplied to the terrorists by Dimitri Gredenko!! Where is it??”

“I don’t know!!”

“I came back to the consulate to talk to Markov myself!!”

“It’s Russian territory!! I want you to stand down!! Find a way out!!

“I’m not going anywhere until Markov tells me how to find Gredenko!!”

“You’re going to tell me what I want to know or you’re going to start losing your fingers one by one!!”

TV Guide says:

An attempted coup d'état rattles the Palmer administration, and Jack warily accepts an offer of help from former president Logan (Gregory Itzin). Noah Daniels: Powers Boothe. Yuri Suvarov: Nick Jameson.

What might TV Guide not be telling us? Situated below is the skinny on the installments airing tonight AND next week. We implore you! Do not read them!

Tonight:

- Palmer lives, but is incapacitated enough that VP Powers Boothe (he's evil? Who could have guessed?!?) gets to take over and start instituting all the crazy right-wing policies that Palmer was resisting.

- Bauer accompanies Logan to the embassy. After Logan figures that the ambassador is lying about his Gredenko ignorance, surprise surprise, Jack decides to take matters into his own hands. He breaks back into the embassy and interrogates the Ambassador. He quickly finds out that Gredenko plans to launch the rest of the nukes in his possession by way of drones and that he will do so in a matter of (stunning!) hours. However, the guards break in and capture Bauer. While in captivity, he convinces one of the guards to call CTU and tell them of Gredenko's plans. Unfortunately, right as the guard gets through to CTU, another guard (one of the cast members of Hunt For Red October, natch) shoots him in the back of the head! Oh no! Dink-dank-dink-dank-dink-dankdankdank....

Finally, we beg you not to look at the top-secret info provided for 6.13, airing next week. It contains major major spoilers certain to sap any enjoyment you might derive from next Monday's episode.

--VP Dick Che... I mean, Powers Boothe tells the Iranian ambassador that if Fayed gets off just one of the nukes, he's going to annihilate Iran. Oh, and he makes Lennox lie and say that Assad planted the bomb. (Is it possible the VP character was designed to be so crazy as to make the Bush administration look good? I digress...)

--Bauer escapes his captors, but is trapped in the basement of the embassy. He calls CTU, but gets cut off when the Russians cut all the lines.

--If you've got to save Jack Bauer from the Ruskies, who ya gonna call? Ricky Schroeder of course! But does Ricky get along with Milo? Not after what happened in Denver he doesn't!! (whatever the hell that means)

--Meanwhile, Logan says he might be able to get the Russian president to allow a full-on assault on their embassy, but he must enlist the help of the president's wife's best friend who just happens to be... the former Mrs. Logan! Yes, she's now living in some sort of very comfy "facility" with that Secret Service guy. Man, is she not happy to hear from Logan.

--The Russian ambassador knows he's screwed so he tells Gredenko. Gredenko's none too happy.

--Logan pushes the ol' missus a bit too far and, in the most hilarious moment of the episode, she straight up stabs him in the shoulder (the irony of Logan avoiding prison but not the accompanying shivs does not escape this viewer)! Regardless, the woman loves her country and makes the call to the Russian first lady.

--With the green light, Ricky Schroeder sweeps in and saves the day. Jack's rescued! Medic!

--Speaking of medic, the episode ends with Logan being driven away in an ambulance. Will he make it? Will he live? Does anyone give a rat's ass? Dink-dank-dink-dank-dink-dankdankdank...

9 p.m. Monday. Fox.

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