Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with an early look at James Wan's DEATH SENTENCE, a revenge flick starring Kevin Bacon about a dad who goes after gang members after an attack on his family. I think the SAW films miss Wan. I know people shit on the first one, but compared to the sequels it's THE EXORCIST. Wan's DEAD SILENCE looks absolutely fuckin' crazy fun... and I love that he has 2 movies in a row called DEAD SILENCE and DEATH SENTENCE. Phonetically that makes me smile.

The review isn't positive, but I'm going to give Wan the benefit of the doubt personally. The movie just finished shooting and doesn't come out for another half a year. He's got a lot of time to tweak it. And no matter what I'll see this for John Goodman. Enjoy the early review, but keep in mind that it's not the final film.

Hi Harry. I just got back from a test screening of James Wan's revenge flick Death Sentence which was held at some hole in the wall theater in Pasadena. I'll keep it brief.

This one was based off the sequel book to Death Wish. But Death Wish this ain't.

The story is your basic run-of-the-mill revenge movie. Kevin Bacon plays "Joe Dad" with the perfect hip-happy family. One night he's out driving through the ghettos (!) with his oldest son, who's this straight-A atheletic wonderchild. Naturally the kid's ass gets wasted when a gang decides to rob the gas station they're fueling up at. The family goes through the movie-grieving process, there are problems with the courts, etc, etc... so Bacon goes from 6 to 180 degrees. He's thirsty for blood and he wants payback!

James Wan was the guy who did Saw and he has only one mode: over-the-top. Unfortunately he tries to blend a lot of heavy drama and character moments into this thing and none of it works. This shit isn't just cheesy, it's Lifetime-level bad.

The acting ranges from mediocre-to-awful. We all love Kevin Bacon and he tries his best here. Sometimes he's good, sometimes he's hammy, and sometimes he runs around with that "Cary Elwes in perile" face. The gang-members walk around in slo-mo and smoke, like they're the Reservoir Dogs. Aisha Tyler, who's smoking hot as always, seems like she's just reading cue cards.

This movie has two things going for it: The action and John Goodman. There's a bad ass chase and a few gun-battles, all well staged and bloody as hell. And Goodman plays the evil bossman and just dominates every scene he's in. I'd rather just watch a movie about his character.

Things get really silly when Bacon does a full-on "ghetto" Rambo suit-up. He shaves his head and straps on leather and multiple guns (yea, shove the irony in our face, movie!). He even swings his shotgun up in a super-bad-ass shot and stops just shy of saying "Groovy."

I can already see the tagline: Revenge is a dish best served with Bacon!

If you want some cool gory action, give it a shot on DVD and make good use of the chapter selections. Otherwise, don't expect too much from this one.

Call me Paul Kersey.