And this is going to be pretty much the exact opposite of my bowl-choking post-Thanksgiving article I just posted, lean and mean and to the point.

I’m not going to indulge in the sort of cheap psychoanalysis of Mel Gibson that seems to have replaced film criticism with the release of this title, because I am personally so sick of reading everyone’s opinions of his mental health. I don’t know any other major director working right now who so completely overwhelms their own films with each release, but of course, part of that is his fault. He injects so much of himself into each of his films, and he’s so obviously been working variations on a single theme that it becomes hard not to discuss him while discussing his art.

Still, I’m going to give it a try.

APOCALYPTO is, at heart, just an action film. That’s not to say that action films are less worthy of discussion. Some of my favorite films are action movies, and I think THE ROAD WARRIOR is damn near perfect cinema precisely because it eschews any larger themes in pursuit of a pure kinetic buzz. APOCALYPTO tells a simple story, and it moves at a manic pace. Gibson takes a few minutes up front to set up the idyllic life of the community where Jaguar Paw (Rudy Youngblood) lives, and there’s a broad sense of humor at work through much of it. It’s good that there’s some levity up front, because from the moment the more “civilized” Mayans show up, the film is pretty much a non-stop action ride. It’s also incredibly violent, although you’d think the people kicking up a fuss about it had never seen a movie before. There’s nothing you’ll see here that you haven’t seen in other films before. There’s a lot of it, certainly, but if you’re a gorehound, this is sort of like Heaven considering how little we get from horror films these days. Beheadings, hearts being cut out of chests, spears and arrows through people, and much more are all used to fill out Gibson’s view of a society rotting from within. Basically, though, he’s just setting the stakes for Jaguar Paw, his superhero lead who must avoid capture long enough to find and rescue his family. There’s a great punchline to the film that made me laugh out loud (it’s the scene on the beach), but I wouldn’t say it really means much of anything.

The second hour of the film is basically one long chase scene, and it’s well-orchestrated. Dean Semler, whose photography for DANCES WITH WOLVES is one of the main reasons that film did so well, works in HD here for the first time, and it’s pretty successful. I don’t know if the HD cameras are really the best way to shoot running scenes in a jungle, because blur is where you can see the video quality the most, but if you’re interested in seeing what the state of the art in non-film cinematography looks like, this is it.

As I was watching APOCALYPTO, I enjoyed myself, and I would encourage action junkies and gore freaks to check it out. If you can’t get past Gibson’s personal life, nothing in this film is going to change your mind, and if you’re looking for some deep meaningful statement on modern civilization, you’ll still be looking when the credits roll. If it seems like I’ve barely said anything in this review, well, then... that makes Gibson and I even. This may be empty calories, but it’s well-made, and it delivers within its own limited ambitions.

Drew McWeeny, Los Angeles