Greetings humans, Monki here with a fresh batch of game news. What a good time to be a gamer. Can you smell that? It smells like big Fall games. Smells like skateboards and evil alien invasions, it smells like rockin' guitar riffs leaping from your couch, smells like fresh new consoles and hopes and dreams. I love that smell.

You know what else makes me happy? GamePro. GAMEPRO! One of the weakest gaming mags out there. Why does GamePro make me happy? Because GAMEPRO (of all people) has stepped up and will take over the bigass void of a gaming show where the Electronic Entertainment Expo (aka E3) left a sad hole. Hey GamePro guys, did I say you were a weak gaming mag? I meant, you are the BEST gaming mag out there! Feel free to send me and Quint out to California next October. Or maybe not Quint. Yeah, just send me. Go ahead and e-mail me and we can set up the arrangements.

Alright, enough ass kissing, I do that enough with Harry. He loves my furry touch. Ahem. On to the games!

Press Releases of the Week!

First off, for you hella-hard rock and rollers, this release comes in from Red Octane:

Sunnyvale, CA - October 27, 2006 - RedOctane, a leading rhythm-action videogame publisher, and a wholly owned subsidiary of Activision, Inc., today announced that starting this Fall fans will be able to shred with a wireless guitar controller that will be compatible with Guitar Hero and Guitar Hero II on the PlayStation 2 computer entertainment system. The wireless guitar controller will be available starting in November at a suggested retail price of $59.99.

Displaying a new glossy white finish, the wireless guitar controller will provide Guitar Hero fans a thrilling experience of rocking out like never before. While utilizing the same innovative features and quality of the wired Guitar Hero SG Controller, the opportunity to pull off killer riffs and five star performances will allow players to continue fulfilling their ultimate rock star fantasy.

"RedOctane has long been committed to offering high-quality videogame accessories for gamers," said Dusty Welch, head of publishing at RedOctane. "Being able to give our fans an option to rock the wireless guitar controller was definitely a priority for us, and it'll provide another exciting experience for players to achieve rock star status!"

Guitar Hero II, the sequel to the critically-acclaimed Guitar Hero franchise, features a brand new and expanded track list of over 60 songs, along with more rock venues, characters, guitars, and play modes. Guitar Hero II introduces an innovative co-op mode that will encourage a greater rock band experience by providing the ability to either play the lead, and bass or rhythm guitar tracks.

A limited-edition Guitar Hero II t-shirt is now available for consumers that pre-order the game through RedOctane's online store: www.redoctane.com/store.html. Rated "T" for Teen by the ESRB, Guitar Hero II is scheduled for its next rock star performance November 7th on the PlayStation 2. For more information about Guitar Hero II, please visit www.guitarherogame.com

Have you been practicing your cock push-ups? Wireless controllers!! Nothing to trip over while spinning around and leaping off of furniture. This one comes out on Tuesday, but I'll personally be holding out for the 360 version next Spring.

As a quick plug for a friend, when you are rockin' out next Tuesday when this one hits, check out the track called "Freya" by The Sword. The Sword is an Austin metal band that has been kicking ass the last couple of years. Those lucky bastards are nestled in between Rage Against the Machine, Aerosmith and Primus. Hella-cool. I'll see if I can get an interview/quote from some of those guys next week.

Wow, loads of ass kissing this week! Okay, onto a fun sounding Wii title:

EDISON, N.J., Oct. 30 -- Majesco Entertainment Company, an innovative provider of digital entertainment products and content, today announced that it will be publishing Cooking Mama: Cook Off for the Wii home video console from Nintendo. Scheduled for release early next year, Cooking Mama: Cook Off is a follow up to the award-winning Nintendo DS predecessor that is being showcased in approximately 10,000 retail demo kiosks nationwide in November.

"Since its introduction last month, Cooking Mama for the Nintendo DS has won people over with its fun, addictive gameplay and innovative use of the Touch Screen," said Ken Gold, vice president of Marketing. "Cooking Mama: Cook Off for the Wii console similarly integrates the unique Wii Remote while layering on new features -- including multiplayer and a full range of international cuisine -- that fans are hungry for."

Making special use of the Wii Remote, Cooking Mama: Cook Off is an entertaining blend of mashing, slicing, chopping and stirring as players create more than 300 real-world recipes from 10 different nations. New realistic graphics and real-time cooking effects lend authenticity to player creations and help budding chefs determine when food is overcooked. Best of all, Cooking Mama: Cook Off offers 2-player kitchen competitions to determine who can cook the best meal the fastest.

Oh man, 2 player kitchen competitions! IRON CHEF IN YOUR LIVING ROOM! (I'm going to copyright that line.) It is titles like this one that gives me hope for the Wii. This game sounds hella-fun with a bunch of people, exactly what Nintendo needs to focus on with their system. They need to get away from the solitary single-player first-person shooter type games and instead fill their library with titles that you want to play with friends in your living room. Count me in on that one. Bring it on digital Iron Chef!

Pretty Images of the Week!

So Quint just about lost his shit playing this one out in Spain at X06. This is an audio featurette about the game Superman Returns. Along with some cool audio information you get a peek at some gameplay footage including some bigass robot lookin' dude and flying around at insane speeds. Check it out.

Looks pretty damn sweet huh.

So, this next one rocked me. It's hard to follow last week's Gears of War trailer (the Mad World one), but to me, this does a damn good job of it.

This is the intro to the Legend of Zelda for the Wii. Visually it's not knock you on your ass stunning, but listen to the music. If that music cue doesn't stand your neck hair up, I don't know what will.

Do you realize The Legend of Zelda for the NES came out in 1987? Nearly twenty damn years. I remember my issue #1 of Nintendo Power falling apart from me going through the fold-out map of Hyrule. I've grown up with Zelda and Nintendo, and they have grown up with me. Something about that comforts me. (Again, why the hell am I still single?)

So go ahead and add that title to your must-buy list with your Wii. You did camp out in front of Toys R' Us last weekend to preorder one, right?

Last but not least is a reader-submitted video from EA's upcoming expansion pack for Battle for Middle-Earth II, The Rise of the Witch King.

Click here to check out the trailer on EA's site. Looks pretty damn cool for an RTS. It has the old school Warcraft 2 look to it, which is good cause I personally believe that Warcraft 2 was the best RTS ever made. Command & Conquer 2 coming in a close second.

Mad props to GameTrailers and Rex for the videos this week. Don't be afraid to e-mail me either with submissions of images or videos for cool games coming up. I love hearing what you guys dig.

Why the Hell Doesn't Hollywood Get Video Games of the Week?

Hey, HOLLYWOOD, what the hell? Seriously? Do we need to talk? I cite the following stories:

Exhibit A: Halo has been put on hold.

Exhibit B: Paul W.S. Anderson will ruin Castlevania.

Exhibit C: Raul Julia's last performance is being tainted. (Ha ha)

Exhibit D: UWE BOLL IS STILL MAKING MOVIES

Pieces of crap like Postal, a Street Fighter sequel and Castlevania are currently going through production with no trouble. But you put PETER FUCKING JACKSON on the Halo train and people aren't confident?

Hollywood, what the fuck are you smoking? I think you have a problem. You should quit smoking. You are with friends, we all love you, we just want to tell you that you are hurting us. Hollywood, you are hurting my childhood. You are hurting all of our childhoods.

I speak on behalf of all of us gamers. If you are going to take the best stories in video games (Street Fighter, Halo, Mortal Kombat) and put them on the big screen, take the damn time to do it right.

And yes, I said Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter. Some of the most gripping stories of my childhood were the tales of Ryu and Ken and their battle against M. Bison. Shang Tsung bringing back Scorpion to hunt down his enemies. Johnny Cage fighting to prove his talent against insane foes.

If you take a moment and go through some of the Wikipedia entries for Street Fighter or Mortal Kombat you'd be amazed. There is a lot of story there to be done correctly. Halo is actually pretty fucking interesting and instead of that hitting theaters, we get Uwe Boll in lederhosen. Holy mother of science.

All that being said, no one contacted me about a remake of THE WIZARD. I'm still up for directing/editing/producing, all I need is money. E-mail me if you have money you are willing to part with.

Stupid Wrap-Up of the Week!

Whew, what a rant. Seriously though, someone give Peter Jackson the money he needs to get Neil to put Halo in theaters. Also, give him enough money to fly me down to visit the set. Lord knows that Quint has been down there plenty of times already. I hear the New Zealand chicks are delicious. Ahem.

Alright, to end it on a fun note. I found this through Kotaku, which is my absolute favorite gaming blog. (Crecente, the editor, was the guy who gave me the heads up on Spielberg at E3 in May) Anyway, this is MC Chris going off about Kingdom Hearts II and Resident Evil 4. Some rough language for you work-readers, but very very funny.

So, quick recap: Hollywood is stupid, I need money, Nintendo owns my childhood, and "bitch, zombies in the room!!"

Until next week, back up the tree I go!

-Monki