I am – Hercules!!

Longtime readers know what I usually do during the summer when I should be scrutinizing pilots. I’m watching “Big Brother.”

This year brought the “All-Star” edition, so the ratings were of course huge. In the key 18-49 demo (and in a lot of non-key demos), the Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday editions clobbered all comers.

I’ve even been a little depressed since the house voted away Evil Dr. Will Kirby last Tuesday. Dr. Will is not only the finest reality star ever produced by “Big Brother,” he may be the finest reality star of all time. Richard Hatch never made me laugh the way the doctor’s evil did.

Tonight brings the final episode, and the seven jurors – Marcellus, Howie, James, Danielle, Chicken George, Will and Janelle – must choose between beautiful bikini-crazy Erika Landin and self-deluded, poorly-mannered restaurant manager Mike “Boogie” Malin.

It’s Erika’s night. Only Kirby, Malin’s Chilltown partner, will feel any compulsion to throw a vote in Boogie’s direction.

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$453.95 All Five Seasons Purchased Separately
$224.99 The Complete Series