Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with a review of Richard Linklater's THE BAD NEWS BEARS, a remake of the classic kids flick of the '70s. I was in LA so I missed the press screening and didn't feel like shelling out $40 to go to the Austin premiere tonight. Strangely enough I did sit behind one of the Bears on my flight this morning from LA to Austin. His name is Ridge Canipe and he was a cool little kid, wearing a Ramone's T-Shirt and a tote-bag thing with a Punisher skull on it. He plays Toby in the movie.

Anyway, from my friends here in Austin that saw the movie I hear that it isn't perfect and might even be a bit of a let down if you were highly anticipating it. The below review seems very, very fair and highlights what my friends told me didn't work. However, this review also points out what does work, so you'll get a good idea about what to expect. I'll still see it this weekend. Enjoy the review!

Hey Harry, et. al. Bungion Boy back here again with a review of Richard Linklater's remake of Bad News Bears. When I first heard about this project about a year ago I had mixed feelings. I'm a big fan of the original and didn't see a reason why we had to see the story (which has already been the basis for so many other sports movies over the years. Kicking and Screaming anyone?) told again. Then I learned that Billy Bob Thornton was to be cast in the role of Coach Buttermaker, made famous by Walter Matthau. Thornton is one of those actors that I will watch in almost any movie whether its good or not. I haven't seen The Alamo yet but I will one of these days. But ever since Sling Blade he has wowed me in films like A Simple Plan, Primary Colors, Monster's Ball, and Friday Night Lights. His work in Bad Santa a few years ago I thought was one of the funniest performances I've ever seen, and what made it so great was his gruff, profane, and cruel interaction with children. Based on that, I figured that if anyone could fill Matthau's shoes, it would be Billy Bob.

The next thing that got me hopeful for the movie was when I learned that the great Richard Linklater would be directing it. I've been a huge fan of his ever since Slacker and I thought that School of Rock was the most perfect film he could have chosen to embark on a mainstream career. With that film he was able to tell a story that we have seen hundreds of times before but still make it seem fresh and funny, with a little help from the geniuses Mike White and Jack Black. School of Rock was a story about a motley crew of misfits who somehow surprise everyone with their musical talents. Bad News Bears is about a motley crew of misfits who surprise everyone with their athletic talents. Sounds like a perfect fit, right?

Well, pretty much. As I watched Linklater's Bad News Bears I kept thinking about all the talk lately about re-imagining vs. remakes, which seems to be all people are talking about in regards to films like Bewitched, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and the upcoming(?) Pink Panther. Well here is a film that is not even close to a re-imagining. It is a remake. A detailed remake. Watching the film I was easily able to recognize all the original characters and names from the original film, as well as identical scenes, that sometimes played line for line from the original. I'm still puzzled. Is this a bad thing? How many times have I criticized a remake for taking too many liberties with the original story and updating too much for a new generation? This is a film that knows its roots and doesn't mess with too much, so while it may not be all that different from the original for fans, it at least won't upset them too much and works really well as a nostalgia trip.

One of my biggest worries that today's society won't allow young kids cursing and beating each other up, so we were going to get a PG movie in which the kids were rascals and a little naughty but not exactly bad. I am very happy to say though that these kids really are BAD. The film earns its PG-13 rating and then some. The kids curse just as much, maybe more, than Buttermaker and they really are little bastards. At least the ones you'll remember are. Some of the kids blend into the background and don't do a whole lot, but Tanner and Engelberg still steal the show as the worst kids, and the kids who play them look and act just like the ones from the original. There's even a scene at Hooters in which Billy Bob and Hooters girls lead the kids in a sing-a-long of Cocaine by Eric Clapton. So the spirit and the story remain in tact, so already fans should feel safe in going to see this one. However there were some things that didn't work, and other little imperfections that may disappoint fans.

For one thing, Amanda (played in the original by Tatum O'Neal) and Kelly (the bad-ass dirt bike kid) are bland as bland can be. O'Neal brought a lot of spunk to her character in the original but the new actress (Sammi Kane Kraft) seems completely uninterested in not just being on the team, but also in the movie. She didn't really work as a tomboy or as a blossoming young woman and she had several line readings that sounded as if she were phonetically reading words off of a cue card. Likewise, Jeffrey Davies as Kelly just doesn't seem like much of a badass and again doesn't seem to care to be part of the movie. He reminded me of a young Emile Hirsch, an actor I can't stand. I just hope Davies doesn't let what has happened to Emile happen to him. (Imaginary Heroes????? Who's with me, people?) Then there were also just little classic bits from the original that didn?t make it into this film. Most notably, the team's sponsor is no longer Bail Bonds but a gentlemen's club, which provides an excuse to get strippers at all the games to cheer them on. There's no scene when the kid removes his uniform in disgrace and climbs up a tree, no scene when they all reject their cups with predictable results, and at the end of the film Billy Bob opens up the cooler and gives all the kids non-alcoholic beers. I guess I shouldn?t have expected the MPAA to allow minors drinking in a PG-13 movie, but that's such a great scene in the original. I suppose I'll accept the compromise.

All in all though, Bad News Bears works because of Linklater and Billy Bob. Billy Bob's stuff in the trailer didn't do much for me but he has a lot of great lines and moments in the film and he pulls it off as a kind of Bad Santa-lite. Greg Kinnear offers some laughs as the smarmy asshole coach of the other team, and Academy Award Winner Marcia Gay Harden is given even less to do here than she had in Welcome to Mooseport. Someone needs to give this woman a part. I'm not sure if Bad News Bears will do well this summer. It's a hard sell. Too foul mouthed for a kids movie, too many kids to attract adults away from Wedding Crashers. That leaves it up to you, fans of the original. This weekend, go out and take a sweet nostalgic trip on this film. It won't ever replace the original, and Billy Bob still can't hold a candle to Matthau, but it's much much better than this summer's Longest Yard and Kicking and Screaming. This will at least give you something to laugh and smile at. I know nothing makes me smile more than lots of children dropping F-bombs. They really are our future.

-Bungion Boy