Hey folks, Harry here with an early look from Scotland of THEY, a horror film being 'presented' to us by Wes Craven. The trailer is actually pretty good for this one, except that the dialogue about "night terrors" is just awkward and unwieldy and dumb, but hey... is it fun? Well, this GentleMan from Scotland sure didn't have fun, and he throws spoilers out left and right, so beware...

Call me The GentleMan    

I saw They a few weeks ago at an all-night halloween horror fest in Glasgow, but I didn't know it hadn't been released in America yet, so thought I would send me humbled opinion. Spoilers galore.    

THIS FILM SUCKS!!! Straight off. Wes Craven presents? This is last years Jeepers Creepers, with Francis Ford Coppola presenting... and I cannot believe that is getting a sequel!    

The whole premise of They is of something called Night Terrors. Now the only reason I knew about this childhood problem was because a friend who was with me used to have them. But the film in no way gives an explanation to the phenomenon. People just spurt it off as if its common knowledge. 'Did you have Night Terrors?' - 'Yes, did you?' - 'Uh-huh' - 'Cool.'    

Now the main actress, I don't know her name but recognised her as the whiny bitch from My Little Eye - another disppaointing horror film. She plays almost the exact same role, which coincidently ends much the same way for her. The creatures in They are basically bogeymen who haunt a dark dimension and come through shadows to get people to eat. They screw up the electricity when they are near so we get a few subtle shots of reported black outs in the news.    

Now Mark Blucas I did know, and his role is so underwritten, as the boyfriend who likes a few beers. For an entire hour we have no idea what he does, until he mentions he cuts people from accidents. I don't understand why we don't see this - the horror he must endure each day (because Blucas cannot show us it through his acting ability - try as he does). It would be a great parallel to the main protagonists past - if we got to see some of her dreams or experiences from when she was 5 or 6 years old.    

Beyond that the death scenes are uninspired and cliched. The last twenty minutes have no explanation as to why the creatures keep disappearing and reappearing, if only to drag out a simple run-away scene and make the movie fit the 90 minutes borderline.  

Again, as with Jeepers Creepers, this film ends without an ending. No climax. No third act. Its as if these filmmakers are tryin gsomething new by leaving stuff out. I know that the rule of horror is not to show you things BUT YOU NEED A FUCKING CLIMAX. My fury is only because I suffered this same shite last year with JC, and by god someone in Hollywood better listen up. Make some decent horror movies if you get a good idea.  

The GentleMan out