I am – Hercules!!

Lots of “Buffy”-related odds and ends have been piling, so we thought we’d do a little holiday housecleaning.

The Death in “Dead”

It’s been a long December without any fresh “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” and we’re only getting two new episodes in January. “Gone” (6.11) airs in a little more than two weeks, on Jan. 8; “DoubleMeat Palace” (6.12) on Jan. 29. February sweeps, of course, means another block of all-new episodes, starting with “Dead Things” (6.13) on Feb. 5.

What do we know of these episodes? From Zap2It.com:

"Gone" - A social services worker threatens to take guardianship of Dawn. Complicating matters, the three villains accidentally turn Buffy invisible with a ray gun forcing the gang to rely on Willow's natural brainpower to save the slayer. Plus, in a moment of panic over her relationship with Spike, Buffy chops off her hair, on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" airing TUESDAY, JANUARY 8 (8:00-9:00 p.m., ET/PT) on UPN.

Starring Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy Summers, Nicholas Brendon as Xander Harris, Alyson Hannigan as Willow Rosenberg, James Marsters as Spike, Emma Caulfield as Anya, and Michelle Trachtenberg as Dawn Summers. Guest starring are Danny Strong as Jonathan, Tom Lenk as Andrew, Adam Busch as Warren and Susan Ruttan as Doris Kroeger. The episode was written and directed by David Fury.

Gellar’s new haircut turns out to be a good deal cuter than the one she sported at season’s start (it’s now only a little shorter than it was, say, at the start of season two).

Excerpts from The Cross & Stake:

Gone. Buffy is accidentally turned invisible by the supervillains and a new toy of theirs. Buffy takes advantage of her new situation by paying Spike a visit and messing with [deserving] people. Xander confronts Willow, discovers Spike in the middle of something with an Invisible Buffy, and spends some quality time bickering with his fiancée. Angry, Buffy takes it out on her hair, which later requires some professional assistance and ends up much shorter. Willow uses a *tiny* bit of magic, but stops herself before the magic serves its purpose or she gets caught, and she still feels guilty. Buffy finally discovers the supervillains and their evil plans.

Doublemeat Palace. Writer: Jane Espenson. Buffy gets a job in fast food (hence the title), and when co-workers start ending up in pieces, the mystery behind the meat comes into question. Willow works on staying clear of magic, but Amy gives her an unwanted gift and Willow is forced to make a big decision. Buffy tries to ignore the temptation that is Spike, but fails. A little sexual taunting and innuendo turns into much more. A vengeance demon friend of Anya's visits and Anya's life as a demon and her relationship with Xander is questioned and reconsidered by the soon-to-be-wed couple.

Dead Things. Writer: Steven S. DeKnight. Director: James A Contner. This will *not* be lighthearted. Mostly dark material and some scenes that may not make it to air. There is a death, but it's not one of the Scoobies. It's a villainous act that shakes a lot of characters up and sets up potential for the big bad...if there is such a thing this season. Dawn and Xander dance together in preparation for the wedding.

Though none of the above was derived from Coax’s regular sources, many have written in, asking if the “death” described by Cross & Stake for “Dead Things” is in fact the major character death referenced in Coax’s Sept. 14 spoilers.

We’re not sure. We will say that the “not one of the Scoobies” description may be misleading. The doomed major character Coax referred to, regardless of that character’s Scooby status right now, may no longer be considered a Scooby by the time that character meets his or her unnatural and permanent demise.

However. If one subscribes to the “once a Scoob, always a Scoob” definition (which, by the way, would arguably make permanent Scoobs of everyone from Angel, Cordy and Wesley to Giles, Faith, Riley and Oz), then we can tell you that the doomed character Coax referenced is indeed a Scoob.

(One more small note on 6.12: We saw a newly de-ratted Amy watching a Doublemeat Palace commercial in "Smashed" (6.9).)

The X/A Nups

A new source, “Batman,” who at least sounds like he knows what he’s talking about, confirms Coax’s July 4 spoilers about Anya turning vengeance demon on her wedding day. “Batman” further confirms that Anya will stop short of killing her little butt-monkey, but adds Anya is not forgiving enough to allow an actual wedding to transpire. Plus, here’s a detail we withheld from Coax’s July 4 spoilers: After he skips out on his own wedding, Xander will claim he was waylaid by supernatural forces.

Her First Post-High Adventure

One way to quell one’s lust for new slayage might be to pick up the first issue of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Haunted,” a new comic book miniseries authored by Herc’s second favorite “Buffy” writer, Jane Espenson. On the stands since Wednesday, it’s set between seasons three and four, as Buffy contends with a comatose Faith invading her dreams and the ghost of Mayor Wilkins invading her prey.

The AFI Nom

Last spring, after “The Body” aired, I think I posted something like, “If ‘Buffy’ doesn’t get an Emmy this year, I’ll start my own fucking Academy!” Well, “Buffy” didn’t even garner a nomination -- and the American Film Institute started a new academy for me! The First Annual AFI Awards nominated “Buffy” as “drama series of the year,” alongside “The West Wing,” “Six Feet Under” and “The Sopranos.” Winners will be announced on a live CBS telecast on Jan. 5.

Angel’s New Ward

Those who have long compared Angel to Batman will find this of interest. In an upcoming “Angel,” the title character will gain custody of a street kid (we’re told to think Wes Bentley in “American Beauty”), but the vampire detective’s efforts to impart a sense of right and wrong to his new charge are hindered when the 16-year-old learns of Angel’s dark, dark past.

According to Variety, the WB will begin airing “Angel” twice weekly, starting Jan. 10. Repeats of the show will air Thursdays at 8 p.m; the first-run episodes will continue airing Mondays at 9 p.m. This pattern will remain in place until February, at which point the WB may consider moving first-run episodes to the Thursday slot.

“Firefly”

“It’s going to be extra wicked cool,” wrote Steve DeKnight of Joss Whedon’s new starship show, “Firefly,” on the Bronze Beta this week. “And it sounds like the Buffy writers will be penning a few of the scripts next season.”

The Repeat Schedule:

UPN appears to be almost done with its pre-season-six repeats. Here’s the netlet’s rerun rundown, courtesy network insider and regular Coax correspondent Dmann:

• Dec. 25: repeat of "Buffy vs. Dracula" (5.1)
• Jan. 1: repeat of “Flooded” (6.4)
• Jan. 8: new episode: “Gone” (6.11)
• Jan. 15: repeats of “Weight of the World” (5.21) and “The Gift” (5.22)
• Jan. 22: repeat of the two-hour season opener, “Bargaining” (6.1-6.2)
• Jan. 29: new episodes begin with "Doublemeat Palace" (6.12)

I am – Hercules!!