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Jude Law As Shinzon In STAR TREK 10'!

Published at:  Aug 20, 2001 12:34:45 AM CDT

SPOILER ALERT !!

Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.



That's the story according to Coming Attractions today. And you know what? It makes sense.



I never ran the Sean Connery rumor here because it simply couldn't be true based on the script. Here's the spoiler part, so if you still want to see STAR TREK: NEMESIS without knowing what's what and who's who, bugger off and frolic in the Talk Backs.




















Still here? Okay. Shinzon is Picard's clone, and he's only half Picard's age. How could Sean Connery be playing that role? He and Stewart might pass as brothers, but Connery as a clone? Connery as Stewart's junior? Hardly.



Jude Law on the other hand... that's pretty good casting. CA is also reporting that Craig T. Nelson is set to join the film as Shinzon's right hand man. That casting sounds right, also. If these are false rumors, they're damn good ones. At least these are people that are actually appropriate for the roles being discussed. And Law would be great in the role. He and Stewart, head to head... I'm in. It would play like CRIMSON TIDE, a decent film with a kick-ass dynamic between its leads.



Of course, all this is dependent on the film actually getting a green-light, and we won't know about that until sometime this week...



"Moriarty" out.








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    Readers Talkback

  • Aug 20, 2001 12:38:37 AM CDT

    first wit' a bullet

    by thinboyslim

    who cares who is in the film, read the draft, this thing is going to blow big time!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 20, 2001 12:40:55 AM CDT

    Of Course

    by sugardog

    it'll get green lighted(lit)- dull as the franchise frequently is, it pulls in big bucks for Paramount, something nothing else seems to do for 'em lately. Jude is good in everything, AI notwithstanding.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 20, 2001 12:44:10 AM CDT

    I hope they get moving

    by brattain

    Jude Law would be a good choice. He is a strong up and coming actor who could bring in some nonfans. Since they seem to be making some good decisions, they need to rethink the small scale special effects. They should put aside enough budget so DD can do some incredible armada action like in "Sacrifice of Angels." They are going to need those spectacular effects so they can sell the movie in previews and commercials. Since they always show the best effects in them anyway, they need to have the kind of impressive stuff we got on DS9.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 20, 2001 12:45:16 AM CDT

    Wow

    by craphole

    What a load of crap. Destruction is the only answer.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 20, 2001 12:52:50 AM CDT

    Jude Law? Nooooooooooo!

    by bill froog

    What is the fascination with this guy? He's about as exciting as Johnny Lee Miller (who I bet wishes he was still with Angelina Jolie). Screw him and the rest of his self-indulgent, Natural Nylon cronies.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 20, 2001 1:16:37 AM CDT

    Sure, Jude Law. Yeah, right.

    by dastickboy

    Isn't he filming Alexander the Great?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 20, 2001 3:19:26 AM CDT

    IF THIS IS TRUE IT IS A GOOD THING BUT IS IT TR

    by 28

    IT IS NOT A FACT YET SO WHO KNOWS

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 20, 2001 5:36:14 AM CDT

    Gigolo Joe?

    by talkbacktornado

    What? Jude Law? Star Trek? Clone of Picard? WTF? Too many clones lately peeps. I can't imagine Jude Law in Star Trek. No f***in way. tt out (tt's now orderin "Star Trek - Director's Cut" ... V'ger galore!)

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 20, 2001 5:49:01 AM CDT

    Above the Law.

    by rabid_republican

    I would have prefered Paramount just throw Connery in there. After all, they've pretty much lit all other logic on fire in the prior films, why stop now? Jude Law would be a fine addition to the cast, but then again I thought F. Murray Abraham would save "Insurrection", which turned out rather abysmal to say the least. Regardless of who plays Shinzon, Star Trek X will most likely be embarassing, which I consider tragic for reasons mentioned and echoed in countless other talkbacks here. Casting it as an "descent film with a powerful dynamic", in the vein of Crimson Tide might be too kind.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 20, 2001 5:53:53 AM CDT

    Good casting

    by atomic-bananas

    if the rumor is true. Craig T. Nelson is pretty darn good, and Jude Law is good also. Hopefully the Shinzon wont look like that awful group of people with no elasticity in their faces in ST 9. They were disgusting looking. The plot, whether the fanboys like it or not, sounds pretty good. It may not be one of those movies that the Star Trek geeks like- but it DOES sound like a crowd pleaser. I just wish the opening act was a little more interesting. I mean remember First Contact? That was a kick ass opening sequence. Even the titlecard sequence was very moving. This opening sounds exactly like the last movie and generations- they are doing something goofy- they are on a boat in Generations and Picard is having to recite some gobbledygook for some aliens in Insurrection- then all of a sudden, some "crisis" happens.

    Reply to Talkback

  • They tried to get Connery back in Star Trek V, but he was already playing Indy's dad.
    I guranteee you Connery won't touch this rubbish with a ten foot pole.
    I like Jude Law alright, but he is starting to get that overexposed flavor of the month thing going for him.
    This has the ring of "DiCaprio is going to be playing Anakin in Episode 2!" Yeah, right.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 20, 2001 6:09:37 AM CDT

    Why, dear god, why?

    by metatron

    So far, the Next Generation movies have had only one... count it... ONE good movie: First Contact. Generations was utter crap, Insurrection was like what would have happened if the producers for "VH1 Divas 2000" would have caved in to Mariah Carey's tantrums and let her act FOLLOW Aretha Franklin's. Not a pretty thought. Star Trek VI: Undiscovered Country was and remains probably the single best Star Trek film... combining the franchise's best producers/writers (Nick Meyer and Leonard Nimoy who co-produced Star Trek II, the second-best ST film... though by some opinions the best) with the best action, drama and sci-fi elements without the stupid pandering to engineering-student geeks whose demands, by the virtue of being the largest portion of today's sci-fi target audience, have resulted in constant pontifications and explanations a-la "let me tell you about the Midichlorians, son!" (Before you geeks jump in, tweak your hornrims and check your PDA-loaded Star Trek Encyclopedias, I *AM* making a Star Wars reference here... referring to the fact that even Star Wars has been ruined by the "new order" of geekdom). Anyway... yes Star Trek VI was the last time they actually focused more on character, plot and action than stupid endless explanations of technologies that don't exist for geeks who salivate at the mention of the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. If this story is just as mind-numbing and disjointed a combination of touchy-feelyness and geek-techsplanations as Insurrection instead of the fantasy world Star Trek once was... forget it, I'll skip the punishment of standing in line with countless legions of Trekkies (or Trekkers, or whatever the hell they prefer to be called these days...) who have helped technology stratify, rather than simplify our lives. I'll rent the video instead of listening to hours of debates over the principles of warp drive technology that doesn't exist (trust me, I lived amongst engineering students in college... this was a daily ritual on the order of self-mutilation). Anyway, it's time for me to go back to working for the man, helping technology overcomplicate our lives...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 20, 2001 6:26:48 AM CDT

    Paramount Will Never Pay for an "Above the Marquee" Actor

    by seawolf

    Remember when Arnold Schwarzenegger was supposedly going to star in "Insurrection" because Jonathan Frakes was said to also be directing him in "Total Recall 2?" As much as I would love to see some big names involved in the Star Trek universe (no offense to James Cromwell, Alfre Woodard, and other high-caliber actors that have shown up on Star Trek in one form or another -- despite their talent, these are not "marquee" names) I stopped believing that would ever happen years ago. Just look at the budget for any "Star Trek" movie, and compare it to any other space epic (take "Wing Commander" for example) and it is plain to see that Paramount will not spend the money necessary to truly recognize the Star Wars universe anymore. Every "Next Gen" movie so far has been directed by those only with television experience, and even though I had high hopes for the John "Gladiator" Logan script, we can't forget that he also wrote the script to "Bats." I would believe Craig T. Nelson being in the movie, and he is good when his material is good, but you will never see his name above the title. Patrick Stewart is the only one that you might see that happen with. What is amazing is that Paramount actually had to think about paying him and Spiner what they wanted in order to keep them in the movies -- without them all you have is acting on par with "Voyager." Jude Law in "Star Trek?" Never gonna happen.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 20, 2001 6:57:27 AM CDT

    Could you pick 2 actors that are more dissimilar?

    by banana_dude

    Errr...Law and Stewart are about as much alike as my ass and my face.

    Clones? No way!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 20, 2001 6:59:39 AM CDT

    And another thing.....

    by banana_dude

    Patrick Stewart has looked like Patrick Stewart all his life (duh!) That is, that way he looks now he looked like when he was 20. He even went bald at a very young age.

    Jude Law a clone? No way!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 20, 2001 7:18:44 AM CDT

    One reason why Law is perfect...

    by 6 of 24

    He's perfect because he's not even 30 and he's already losing his hair. (snigger, choke, wheeze)

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 20, 2001 7:52:38 AM CDT

    Law Looks Like Stewart?

    by metatron

    Judging by this picture of Jude's father (http://members.aol.com/PShaw14244/pict55.jpg) ... well, he could conceivably pull it off. I doubt he'll ever take the role, though.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 20, 2001 8:16:05 AM CDT

    Apropos.

    by juggernaut125

    I'd like to take this time to quote an excellent moment from one of the better Star Trek flicks in reference to the Star Trek fare and where they seem to be heading. McCoy: They're dying Jim. Kirk: Let them die!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 20, 2001 9:36:45 AM CDT

    Don't do it Jude!

    by msbigfoot

    It will be a bad step in your career, being in such a stinker movie. Oooo I know, get Mini Me to be Peeeuu-cards clone, hes already got the shiny top, or maybe that Persus Kambatta chick from the first Trek movie, whos to say Picard didn't use to be a woman, cause he sure is a pussy. Just an idea from the Bigfoot cave, hehehehe

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 20, 2001 9:52:55 AM CDT

    DO IT JUDE

    by andy dufresne

    As an actor Mr. Law, you must see the greatness in acting oppisite fellow Brit thesp and Royal Shakespeare Company God head Patrick Stewart. Even if you have no interest in Trek, do this movie for that screen team

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 20, 2001 9:59:57 AM CDT

    Garth's review said it all

    by superninja

    A 2-part t.v. show. Even the best of TNG movies haven't been better than some of their episodes. I think the reason is the leads just don't have the chemistry that Kirk, Spock and McCoy had. Picard & Co. are fine for serialized television, but they just don't translate to movies well. It seems like Patrick Stewart is always trying to out-Kirk Shatner since he's jumped to the big screen, instead of just letting the character be something different. Data got boring the minute they gave him emotions. Worf is an interesting secondary character, but you can toss out the rest of the crew. I say no to Nemesis, and let's see how Enterprise does.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 20, 2001 10:14:28 AM CDT

    Hey Jude, don't make it bad . .

    by brock landers

    Damn, I wish I had more to contribute to the conversation . .just wanted to get in the subject line. sorry guys.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 20, 2001 11:10:47 AM CDT

    Ewem

    by timmer33

    "I don't care who is in it if they are going to shoot that God awful script." Have you read the script Ewem? Do you know anything about it other than Darkhorizon's review? I've read about another "God awful" script too: A device which creates life will bring Spock back from the dead! Or: The crew's going in search of a couple humpback whales! The fact is a lot of scripts sound terrible on paper -- it's up to the actors and director to make greatness. You don't know if the script is good or not, you're just mimicking what someone else is saying. There have been 5 very positive script reviews, and one bad one. Why dwell on what one very biased reviewer thimks?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 20, 2001 12:22:41 PM CDT

    Get Bent, by your pimp daddy, MsBigFoot!

    by bladerules

    I'm getting tired of all this Star Wars vs. Star Trek debate that has gone on since Aint It Cool started over five years ago. I happen to love BOTH Star Wars AND Star Trek EQUALLY! (Although I do have to admit that SW: Episode One was a major piece of dogshit, hopefully Ep. 2 will be ten times better even with that lame title, Attack of the Clones!) In any case, I'm getting tired of all these childish insults, so GET BENT to all those who have to bitch about everything!

    Reply to Talkback

  • and it's about darned time that Jude Law gets to be in something as popular in mainstream culture as Star Trek. This guy is a good actor, and maybe (if this news sticks), just maybe this will give him the accolades he deserves. I think this is a fabulous idea and with Craig T. Nelson as a baddie, puurrrrfect. Okay, okay, I don't like Berman, and I was in serious doubt over this script - but with what they've got so far (and again, if it all sticks) with the casting - by jove, they could be on the right track!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 20, 2001 2:29:00 PM CDT

    I agree with you, Mori

    by drath

    If these are mere casting rumors, they're good ones anyway. I don't think Jude Law looks like a young Stewart, but he's talented as hell and the magnetism he could bring makes up for it. My problem with the villains has been that so few of them are really personal, there's just never a sense that Picard has an equal(save for the Borg Queen, but they only had a few minutes together, dammit). With Law opposite Stewart, it might be something to talk about. If Paramount doesn't pull a "no, we're not paying for that," stunt yet again it might happen. Now I hope that all those "been-there-done-that" problems with the script will be given an original spin. I'd hate for a potentially exciting entry to be mired by cut-and-paste syndrome. We had plenty of that in Voyager's run.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Anyway, I actually got around to renting "Trekkies" the other day, and since I saw that a group of fanboys and fangirls created their own "Trek"-like movie called "Nemesis" I'm now starting to wonder if a lot of what we're hearing about Trek X is actually a huge hoax or misinformation.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 20, 2001 4:00:23 PM CDT

    Jude Law And Craig T Nelson? In A Star Trek Film??

    by the founder

    I'm not saying they won't do it, but as someone has already mentioned Law may be working on Alexander The Great, and Nelson has a little tv show called The District. I can't say for certain about Law's availibility, but I'm pretty sure Nelson is going to be busy shooting his tv show. Both are good actors, and Law would be a good choice as Picard's clone, but again the script sounds to hokey for the big screen, tv show yes, big screen no. I will say that it sounds good that Paramount is bringing in new actors, but I wish they would have just started with an entire new crew, because as long as the mainstream audience sees the tv cast, they'll more than likly think you have to have been a watcher of the series to catch on. Maybe they can pull it off, but I have to agree with another poster, Trek shouldn't have all that personel stuff such as, Riker and Troy getting married. It was a couple of other moments from the script as well that shouldn't be in the movie, and those personal elements are things that should have been done in the tv series, and it's crap like this that throws the mainstream audience off. The good thing about most of the Kirk & Crew movies were that you didn't have to be knowledgable of the show to get the movie, but the NG is not as forgiving, and this is one of the biggest problems that NG suffers from in theaters.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 20, 2001 7:00:08 PM CDT

    The reason why Next Gen Trek films keep falling short of the mar

    by theginger twit

    Berman always wants his movies to be action but full of humour - Like Trek 2 or 4. He's obsessed with the notion that he can do those films over if he just a) Uses Time Travel b) Sets it mostly on a planet c) Fills the script with gags at the expense of characters./ You wanna know the secret to Wrath of Kahn being such a great film. It wasn't pretentious. Here you had the same characters from a cheesy TV show actually portraying themselves as real people in a real world. Then to add to it the reason Kahn was discovered was just an accident - due to the fact that a top secret experiment was going to take place on the world he was moorooned on. The experiment was larger than Kahn. Kahn was just an annoying little 'shit happens' sideline. Then to top it off with the Enterprise coming into it. They weren't buggerizing around on a holodeck, or meeting with pathetic little aliens that were supposed to be funny to look at. No, they were on a training exercise with a ship full of trainese cadets. But what the hell am I trying to say here? Uhhh. Trek X is not going to be the next greatest film if all that I've read is true. They've just written another formulac plot that will pass as a good version of Insurrection. You can't recapture Wrath of Kahn just through space battles and Humour and Referances to past series and epiosdes. You recapture Kahn by writing an original Screenplay that feels it has everything to lose if it's no good.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 20, 2001 11:40:29 PM CDT

    Ahh Mr Bond, we've been expecting you....

    by daft mole

    I think Connery would be excellent
    In a Star Trek Film as he has an
    excellent Range of voices for... Klingon/Romulan/Borg/Species 8472/
    Lithuanian Submarine commander/Arab Chieftan. At Least He wouldn't be as stupid as Jim from Taxi in Search for Spock

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 21, 2001 12:32:23 AM CDT

    Jude Law as..... DIABOLIK!!!!!!!

    by crm114

    The only sequel Jude Law should ever consider.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 21, 2001 6:44:32 AM CDT

    Star Trek: Chapter 11- Bankruptcy Protection

    by metatron

    I'll tell you why Star Trek keeps doing so many variations of the "Broken Holodeck that we can't escape from" or "time travel" scenarios... because they're CHEAP! Sets, costumes... hey, if they just set something in the present or even the past... it's a lot cheaper than all the FX that goes into simulating a futuristic world (this isn't always the case... e.g. Cleopatra... the most expensive film ever made). This is much akin to the fact that most every Star Trek species is "conveniently" humanoid in form. C'mon... they've been running around in circles with the same tired old crap and need to go back to focusing hard on developing another good TV series. Voyager was getting pretty good towards the end, whereas Deep Space Nine was total crap. Hopefully, the concept behind Enterprise will allow them to go in directions that haven't been explored... or at least not since the original TV series... young crew, new adventures, unexplored territories... hopefully they'll also explore new plotlines beyond the same "veiled PC-themed morality plays" that have been the basic premise behind almost every Star Trek episode... as, of course, that was Gene Roddenberry's original design... to be able to tell stories that were taboo on TV in the 60s by coating them in the guise of aliens and space. However, times have changed, and a lot of these issues are being discussed to death on every channel on TV. It would be nice for the writers to focus their energies on stories that don't somehow involve the Federation spreading its cheer throughout the galaxy like a bunch of rabid bible-thumpers. I know you're about to say "Well, why don't YOU write a script?" I did write one... just not a Star Trek script... If I had a good idea on a story for Star Trek, trust me, I'd do something about it. But I'm just saying I'm certain the knuckleheads at Paramount can put 2+2 together and come up with something ENTIRELY unheard of, refreshing and challenging, AND entertaining... or am I overestimating the creativity of Hollywood?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 21, 2001 7:05:39 AM CDT

    Jude Law is Box Office Poison

    by domisinnerchild

    When will you guys catch on. There's nothing wrong with the guy, he just is.

    Reply to Talkback

  • That little tidbit about Jude Law being included actually sounded hopeful. This is a very different tone from the total disdain for the script that I read about here last week. Does this mean the script reviewer exaggerated or has AICN simply gone into full "cross your fingers" mode? If they are indeed protectors of the cinema, they should be lodging a campaign against said script, not backing the casting choices. I know *I'm* sick of movie discussions that begin, "Boy did that movie blow, but [so and so] was excellent in his part".

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 21, 2001 8:54:02 AM CDT

    Diabolik! Yes!

    by vinylsaurus

    Jude Law takes over from John Philip Law - it's a natural! DANGER:DIABOLIK was a kickass film - could be a great remake (Tsui Hark as director?). CRM114, have your people call my people...

    Reply to Talkback

  • "Even numbered ST movies don't suck." I'm hoping they don't dissapoint.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 21, 2001 9:57:28 AM CDT

    Kirk vs Picard

    by sabretooth1974

    Hey, what about Shatner's book series? Mirror universe? Kirk as a Borg assasin? Vger a borg creation? Fantastic! Charge phasers and go for it! Although I'm interested in Count Bakula's interpretation on the trek universe, they've lost their focus with all the stupid time machine episodes, and a fairly poorly executed Dominion war. It's definately time for a change of guard. Just no more whales ( that one proved the even movie law completely wrong!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 21, 2001 11:20:10 AM CDT

    Star Trek XII- Hurry up and make it!!

    by kentucky colonel

    Here is my channeled vision, plugged directly into my noggin by Roddenberry's ghost...First and foremost go on and write off Chapter XI because, as we all know, the odd numbered movies suck ass (except, I MUST add, for STIII:TSFS). Also, it should be noted, this movie will feature the NCC 1701-G because even though the original Enterprise made it through April, Pike, Kirk, the 70's and most of The Wrath of Kahn, it seems that Starfleet can't make an Enterprise that dosen't blow up every movie or two. Well, we fade into the film in the spacedock housing the new Enterprise, where we see Picard in reflective repose, mourning the death of the franchise. Borrowing only slightly from STIII, he recruits Data, LaForge, Worf and the EMH Doctor to steal the Enterprise and go out and kick some ass. Whos ass is really unimportant, but if I had any say-so it would be the Suits from Planet Paramount. Along the way we find out that all other cast members were killed off by a time-traveling spaceship named "Jupiter 2" that, let's say, ran a celestial red light and slammed the Enterprise-F in the rear passenger side. Data, with his not so new emotion chip, gets a hard on for the robot (the REAL B-9, I might add), goes berzerk with lust and "discovers" masturbation. Speculation abounds on the bridge about what the composition of Data's ejaculate is. Is it a new lifeform or merely just "space-seed"? It seems that in order to perfect this most human of activities (masturbation) Data has been videotaping himself (doing himself) in his quest for humanity. Picard & Co. bootleg these videos for fun and profit. Hilarity ensues. So about then Sisko pulls alongside the 1701-G in his Correllian Corvette (as long as we're making shit up let's go hog wild) and demands the stolen Data tapes. When Picard tells him that, if he uses his credit card to order he gets a free bonus tape Sisko taps the shoulder of his helmsman who is, of couse, Samuel L. Jackson as Jules, the Helmsman/Hitman. Without so much as a peep the Data tapes are transfered to Sisqo, um, Sisko who then admits that he is a robosexual and is just as interested in the mystery of the space-spoo as everyone else. Now, add to this the exestentional drama of Tasha Yar's cryogenically frozen embryos that have been commandeered by, lets say, the Andorians. This really confuses things in a sub-plot concerning the color of an erect penis belonging to the Andorian race; is it a light, sky blue or dary navy-blue member? Data then gets wind of all the fun the crew and Sisqo, um, Sisko are having at his expense. Not being used to such emotions as rage and humiliation (not a good combo in an all-too-powerful droid) he decides to shower the crew with his "space-seed"...which turns out to be the bile from Roddenberry's liver, having fermented for over 300 years. This proceeds to burn through everything like when "The Fly" vomited on that guy's hand. Hilarity ensues. Geordi hits the cutoff switch right under Data's nuts before too much damage is done. Picard then calls Data into his ready room and explains the whole Vasoline-Gym Sock theory of masturbation, after which Data is no longer so self-aware of his masturbating and that closes out act 1. Act 2 begins when B-9 (from the Jupiter 2)feels the pain that only a lover scorned can feel. He ass-rapes Dr. Smith, which only leaves him with feelings of emptiness. B-9 takes off in the pod with young Will Robinson at his side to find the object of his desire. Back on the Enterprise G, the crew is enjoying a concert by Sisko, um, Sisqo. Repeating almost the same accident that did in the Enterprise-F, B-9 rear-ends the Enterprise-G. But having only a fraction of the Jupiter 2's mass this only causes some slight variation in the warp field and a busted tail light. Picard, however, is traumatized. His days and nights become mired in visions of Number One, clinging to Troi's tressed locks, as both are blow out into space where they will surely asphixiate in 30 seconds. Picard starts to mumble things like "I used to do Shakespeare, for chritssakes!" before he is forced to come to his senses when the starship Heart of Gold appears out of infinite improbability drive which, coincidentally, picked up Riker but not Troi whilst in Infinite Improbability. Number One, it seems, is pissed that Picard didn't even so much as throw him a space-bouy and now blames him for the death of Troi. Much brow-beating ensues. After a round of Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters and the good natured jibes of Ford, Zaphod and Arthur (whom is for some reason only refered to as Earthman) the crews make amends, and just in time because it's time for ACT3-The Shit Hits The Fan. While Data, B-9 and Sisko (and Sisqo) are off expolring their newfound sexual freedoms (and, as it turns out, they take back Tasha's frozen ovum and find out, once and for all, that an Andorian prick is purple, like everyone else's) it seems that the Suits from Planet Paramount have tracked down the Enterprise-G's exact location using some device they call "Market Research" and decide that instead of really well thought out, meaningful characters, situations and conflicts, what the people really want to see is Data fuck a pie. I guess a Klingon blood pie will do. Chase scenes, lots of explosions, one of our favorites is killed (but we won't say who) and eventually, yes, Data fucks the blood pie, to the tune of millions in box office reciepts. The Suits from Planet Paramount laugh all the way to the bank, Will Robinson gets punched in the face by a leaner, meaner Wesly Crusher, and the rest of our ragtag crew make jokes about how how some chumps from the starship Galactica (what the hell is a Battlestar if not a starship) keep hailing them over subspace asking for directions to Earth. Everybody laughs and laughs until they see...the Death Star III (I shit you not). That's when the credits roll and the lights go up. Sorry y'all, slow day at the office.....Remember A) Have your pets spayed or neutered B)Vote Quimby and C) Ezra Brooks 90 proof bourbon goes well over ice, with a water back. Rinse and repeat. Might I offer a toast? (raise your glass) "To Cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin!" (now drink) (and if you don't know who Yuri Gagarin is, brush up on your REAL space history, you moron).

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 21, 2001 12:17:31 PM CDT

    Star Trek 3 was a joke!

    by hawq

    I can't beleive I'm reading that several people actually liked the flaming piece of crap that was Star Trek 3. Unbeleivable. Oh well. Jude law was great in The Talented Mr. Ripley. I certainly hope they don't slap some wrinkles on his forehead and call him an alien. I hate when they do that. BTW- Why doesn't someone make a big-budget Babylon 5 movie? It's bound to be better than 90% of the Star Trek theatrical disappointments (ST2 being the only really good one). I think several of the best episodes of The Next Generation (focusing on Patrick Stewart)were the pinnacle of the entire Star Trek saga, including all the movies and series'.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 21, 2001 1:52:15 PM CDT

    "What the people really want to see is Data fuck a pie."

    by kentucky colonel

    Did I really write that? God damned that's funny!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 21, 2001 2:16:20 PM CDT

    Is Jude going to shave his head?

    by wee willie

    If so, I'm there!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 21, 2001 2:47:38 PM CDT

    More on why ST needs a new guy at the helm

    by crisp one

    I'm bloody sick to death of all the lame one liners in the recent ST flicks. I cringe every time I hear Worf say "Assimilate this!" Why is it that these characters who exist in another time are starting to sound more like 1990's surfer dudes, like Data saying "Lock and load"? Worf's got too much dignity and honor to say things like "Assimilate this." It's out of character. When he says it, I feel like I'm at a Star Trek theme park where I can go up and shake Worf's white-gloved hand and pose for a picture. Next thing you know, the Enterprise will have a bumper sticker showing Calvin pissing on a Romulan Warbird. Also, now that Data has emotions that he can turn on and off at will, he's lost all of his appeal. We don't get to see him trying to figure out what humans are about any more, nor do we see get to see him trying to cope with new emotions. Berman - quit trying to have the characters act "cool." Quit throwing in modern, dated humor. Quit trying to wow us with the intricacies of time travel. Quit trying to use Data as comic relief. It's OLD. Sorry. I'll end here my Star Trek geeky rant.

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  • Aug 21, 2001 3:50:40 PM CDT

    nemesis origin?

    by media man

    Tell me that the startrek nemesis screenplay isn't the same one that the little geek kid from TREKIES wrote.

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  • Aug 21, 2001 6:14:57 PM CDT

    Jude Law and John Philip Law..... long lost relatives?

    by crm114

    I haven't confirmed it, but it makes sense. They both got those EYES, man! I'm glad I'm not the only one who sees Jude as Diabolik as something written in ancient stones. But I'd want to see a sequel, not a remake. Just pick up right where the first one left off. "With this suit, I could swim through the center of the sun!"" MUHAHAHAHA!!!

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  • Aug 26, 2001 4:49:01 PM CDT

    PUT Q BACK IN!!!!!!

    by ghostjason

    I'm sick n' tired of Q being excluded from the movies... he wuz great on the show. I dunno why they wouldn't include him in ANY of the movies. He wuz great... PUT HIM BACK IN!!!!

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  • Sep 08, 2001 5:18:56 AM CDT

    why 'Nemesis'?

    by i_am_a_wookie

    i dont understand why is it called nemesis? do we have a big battle with the borg? the dominion? the Ferengi? the Klingons? no.
    does Picard go aginst a Khan Noonien Singh character? no. but instead, they go up against the romulans, except its not really the romulans (who were never an arch enemy anyway) because they are going against a clone of picard, hardly a nemesis, picard doesnt have a hatred of himself. picard has two adversaries worthy of being called a nemesis, Q, and posibly Dr Soran, and bringing one of them would truly be the stuff of Harve Bennet and Leonard Nimoy. no.
    basically, the name is all wrong, why do the star trek people insist on these One Word Titles? they have done it for the last 8 years or so. 'Generations' 'insurrection' 'Voyager' 'enterprise'
    why do they insist on using these minimalis one word tile bulshit. i dont think they should totally scrap the star trek franchise because it has worke for getting on 40 years, but a whole rethink is needed. when TNG came out, everybody watched it for a season or two, and by the time voyager came out only trekkers wuld watch. i think that this enterprise thing is a fantastic idea, but maybe they should have used the pilot and released it as a high publisised, well made Cinema movie and created the series after, just to gain more interest in the whole star trek thing and then done the new tng/ds9/vgr film.

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