Hey folks, Harry here having survived and thrived at the first day of the fifth Annual Quentin Tarantino Film Festival… As I have often theorized, Quentin confirmed today that basically what we would be seeing this year was the product of the state of Quentin’s mind whilst writing KILL BILL. And that he was very much test-marketing before the actual filming commenced the elements and themes that may very well be going into KILL BILL.
So you trusty readers out there… Know that not only are you getting a damn fine list of films to track down to watch, but you are getting jigsaw pieces for a puzzle you won’t be seeing till early to late 2003… But this festival is going to be a bit of the advance word on what items could very well find their way into that film!
The night started off with Richard Linklater sort of dodging the light and introducing Quentin Tarantino from the shadowy just left of ‘spot’. He did the standard QT fest announcements about don’t be asking for autographs, as the theater is Quentin’s church, he’s on vacation and is sharing it with us. Feel free to chew his ear off about the films you see here tonight, the movies you’ve seen that he may not, all of that jazz… And he did a Quentin impersonation which reminds all why he’s on the particular side of the camera that he is… Hehehe
Quentin takes the stage and immediately pulls the mike up to about quarter of a millimeter from his mouth as he excitedly and enthusiastically heralds that QT-cinco is officially underway!
First off he points out that at all 4 previous QT Fests we have had the Spaghetti Western night, but that he had been remiss. There were actually two faults that he saw in his programming for prior Spaghetti Western nights… One was his fault… the other was not.
First, He has never shown a Sergio Leone Western, but that was because he did not yet own a print.
Second, He had never shown a Lee Van Cleef Western, which he compared to showing 5 years of Gladiator style sword & sandal epics without ever showing a Steve Reeves flick. In otherwords… Utterly unforgivable.
To make up for this obscenity of omitting... Quentin was going way way waaaay overboard tonight. Tonight, not only was he showing the second of Leone’s Man With No Name trilogy flicks, but all three films were Lee Van Cleef movies!!!
Now what’s the big deal with Lee Van Cleef Spaghetti Westerns?
Well Lee Van Cleef is the personification of the Spaghetti Western Genre. As Quentin said, Eastwood may have started the genre, but Lee Van Cleef stayed with it, he made it his own, and knew all about using the spoon to spool that spaghetti up just right…
He pointed out that most of the stars of the Spaghetti Western genre were TV western stars, Fallen Stars and old B western types. Lee Van Cleef was all, but forgotten. He’d made over 60 old westerns prior to FOR A FEW DOLLARS MORE (the first film of the night) but had never made an impression… Well, except as the sharp shooter in BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS!!! He kicked ass with that radioactive isotope assassination super bullet that killed Harryhausen’s first solo monster!
Quentin says that his best pre-Spaghetti Western was a film called RIDE LONESOME directed by Budd Boetticher, who Quentin had the opportunity to talk with and found out that at the time, Lee Van Cleef was a major alcoholic, in fact in the film if you notice, Cleef’s tongue is all bloated white foamy hell… The dried bleached carcass of a tongue indicative of heavy alcohol usage. As a result, he went mainly unheralded.
When Leone was faced with making a sequel to one of the greatest westerns of all time, FISTFUL OF DOLLARS… He had a part written for an older character to pair up Eastwood with. Sergio first went out to Charles Bronson with the part… but was turned down… Then he went to Henry Fonda, but was again shut down. Then Quentin couldn’t remember the third guy, but an audience member addicted to the Spaghetti Western genre shouted out, "LEE MARVIN," to which Quentin went, "Yea yea yea yeah, Lee Marvin, Thank Man!" Then continued to tell us of the woes of Leone, til he finally settled on Lee Van Cleef… who instantly became a star with the film, and was heralded as one of the greats in Italy!
Suddenly Quentin shifted gears… "Ok folks, now there’s another thing going on in the fest that you need to be aware of. You are all the beneficiaries or tortured subjects of what I’ve been obsessed with for the last year or so. And in the last year, I’ve been heavily into REVENGE, as I’ve been writing my latest film KILL BILL which stars Uma Thurman. So while we have a REVENGE night scheduled, it doesn’t stop there. There’s REVENGE everywhere alright? In all the shit, it’s in Kung Fu night, in Horror/Sci Fi night, in Good Ol Boy night, in Spaghetti Western night… Pretty much in fucking everything alright?! This is my Market research screening WELL BEFORE THE FACT, so I’ll be watching all of you. Hmmmmm, that didn’t work, note to self don’t go with that, and when you all go nuts over something, I’ll be like, definitely on that one!"
The audience really dug that. Next Quentin tells us that before the first film, he has a 30 minute 16mm trailer reel made up of TV spots and Theatricals for tons of exploitation and genre spots. "I actually get ridiculously moved by this reel!" You see, this 30 minutes is a childhood in miniature for Quentin. Not some home movies, but these trailers represent what he was seeing beginning at "a most impressionable age" "So if you have ever thought How The Fuck Did I Get That Way, or what the hell I was thinking about when I thought of something, THIS IS IT!!! This was that time period. If you weren’t aware of what it was like growing up in the seventies, this was it! And when it was over, it was over. There’s nothing like it anymore. I’m the closest thing to take its place.
Then almost as an afterthought, he felt the desire to warn us about the print. You see… His copy of FOR A FEW DOLLARS MORE is beautiful IB TECH (for you non print collectors, that is like the Holy Fucking Grail) 35 mm SCOPE! "And though this is my baby girl, I feel like a father setting you up on a date with her and I have to qualify that my beautiful little girl has a hunchback ok?" Turns out that during that fantastic opening… they guy on the horse… Just wandering… When suddenly he’s shot from afar… Well you see him riding… riding… then suddenly his horse is way far away and he’s dead on the ground. "It’s like you were jacking off and just as you’re about to cum, your mother calls you! Now ordinarily I would burn the print for that, but this print is so gorgeous… and right after that moment, it is fucking great, so I know you’ll get like the BENZ, but just hang with it."
Then he was off the stage and way far back in his 3/4s back to the right aisle seat in that Orange and red shirt and them black pants and an inevitable Shiner Boch…
Dorothy Parker and I just began giggling. She and I have been going to these for well on 5 years now. It is how we met, and there’s an almost sacred set of thoughts that we veterans share… the Twisted Nerve Whistle, the Girl From Starship Venus song, the Hollywood Man song… Oh.. the glory of it all… Suddenly… the trailers begin:
JOYRIDE – Desi Arnaz Jr, Robert Carridine and a way way young 1977 era Melanie Griffith… on a… well, Joyride
COFFY – Oh yeah baby, this movie kicks so much Pam Grier ass! "She’s Black & Stacked!" "Where the ACTION is COFFY is!" Oh yes! Razor Blade Afro! I own this flick in 16mm! It rules!
TRUCK TURNER – Isaac ‘Duke of New York A#1’ Hayes. "You coulda brought me flowers!" "I brought beer…" YES!
THE TOWN THAT DREADED SUNDOWN -- a genuinely creepy as hell movie if you ever get a chance to see it.
KILLER THREE – "Their Kisses were Cold Blooded!" Look Look DICK CLARK!
TOP OF THE HEAP -- "Hassled by his Soul Brothers with His Mother Dying, the Only Place He Could Escape To Was The Moon!" THIS RULES!
THE HARD RIDE -- This was a non-greasy sleazy biker flick that I just never got into past the fetishistic nature of the bikes themselves… It ain’t no GLORY STOMPERS or THE LOSERS! But the bikes look cool.
J D’s REVENGE -- Reincarnated Zombie Blaxsploitation! The poster for this movie rules and I’m dying to see the film!
THE BLACK CONNECTION… RUN NIGGER RUN -- Now I know the title on this one might throw ya, but it has one of the best fat man battles in film history. Must be seen to be believed!
THE DEADLY TRACKERS starring the man called horse and that guy that invented the Time Machine.
LADY KUNGFU -- Angela Mao kicks ass so good. "She’s the little china doll that gives you a good lickin’"
THE CHINESE PROFESSIONALS – I will live to one day see this movie!
DEEP THRUST -- Lady Whirlwind kicking the male buttocks hard!
VANISHING POINT -- Ah sort of a BILLY JACK meets SMOKEY & THE BANDIT! Way Cool
THE HIT MAN – Big Chinese guy with a baseball bat and a tiny gun busting everything up!
CAPTAIN KRONOS VAMPIRE HUNTER -- Ahhhh the sweaty titties of Caroline Munro… You must understand the hypnotic power of Caroline Munro! I love this ol Hammer flick.
THE HOT BOX – 4 American Nurses… well, you can imagine.
CAGED HEAT -- If you don’t know this film, please run find it now… then you are allowed to read the QT reports again.
CANDY STRIPE NURSES -- Oh guilty pleasure.
WONDER WOMEN -- Ah the virgins in the audience do not fully appreciate the glory of this past QT fest glory! MALIBU HIGH -- Seems to be about a girl named Kim fucking for As
THE POM POM GIRLS – Must see now!
WHITE LIGHTNING -- Burt Reynolds is a fucking Sweaty God in this one! Dorothy Parker begins having multiple orgasms next to me, and only my seat is trembling… sigh…
A MAN CALLED HORSE -- Unfortunately it seems the majority of the audience have not seen this brilliant film.
DAWN OF THE DEAD -- The second the trailer began SCREAMS LIT OUT! Oh yeah!
DILLINGER – Yes a Samuel Z Arkoff Production… well put the fucker on!
BLACK EYE – Fred ‘God’ Williamson!!!
FIGHTING BACK -- Imagine FALLING DOWN in a neighborhood but with Tom Skerritt!
HI-RIDERS -- drag racing flick
MOONSHINE COUNTY EXPRESS -- Somehow this story of moonshine running femmes makes Dorothy Parker vaguely nostalgic… Hmmmm…
BRUCE LEE- THE MAN THE MYTH – Starring the amazing incredible spectacular Bruce Li – who was almost kinda not really like Bruce Lee.
THE HONG KONG CONNECTION -- Well what do you think?
DIXIE DYNAMITE -- Oh yeah, Warren Oates rules!
THE ROGUE -- I have no idea what it is, but allegedly I shouldn’t take my kid sister to see it.
ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13 -- This trailer got long loud sustained screams of joy!
THE TATTOOED HITMAN – again, what do you think?
THE MACK – soon as Goldy hit the screen screams lit out.
THE QUEEN BOXER -- With Judy Lee!
7 BROTHERS VS DRACULA -- Shaw Brothers/Hammer film being remade by Tim Allen allegedly!
FISTFUL OF FURY Part 2 -- Bloodier sequel.
DRIVE-IN – it’s about a drive-in and there’s a pot smoking granny in it!
NO WAY BACK – Fred Williamson kicking ass again.
HOLLYWOOD HIGH -- God I wish BEVERLY HILLS 90210 was like this.
SHEBA BABY – screams go out for Pam Grier!
THE DEMON SEED – a genuinely creepy scary freaky movie with Julie Christie…
THEN IT WAS TIME FOR:
FOR A FEW DOLLARS MORE
The movie is just perfection. Lee Van Cleef, Clint Eastwood… both iconic, cool, slick and perfect. Then there is the Italian Oliver Reed…. Gian Maria Volonte’… I just love this guy. He’s a darker, sweatier and just as crazy mean in the eyes as the great Oliver Reed. His Indio is a major joy. Klaus Kinski… who just rules planet Earth.
About as perfect as they come. Helped redefine the westerns forever and launched Lee Van Cleef again!
I love how every single character is just… cool. Cool in a kinda seedy sleazy way. The sort whose hands would require pant wiping after shaking.
Also, the coolest sounding gunshots ever.
If you haven’t seen this… RUN NOW!!!
During the initial Clint Eastwood gunfight, the bulb dies… causing cries of agony to leap out of the audience!
It was fixed quickly and we were on the road again.
AFTER THAT
It was time for Quentin to hit the stage to tell us about DEATH RIDES A HORSE! "In America we hear about RED RIVER, SHANE, RIO BRAVO, THE SEARCHERS, etc… In Italy, DEATH RIDES A HORSE is right up there with those. It is a staple of the Spaghetti Western genre!" Quentin says it is one of the best Revenge Westerns ever made… It has been ripped off at least 40 times apparently.
Now… Quentin hates John Phillip Law… Where’s my tomato when I need to hurl it? John Phillip Law rules… He exudes a quiet cool that is just awesome! I love him in BARBARELLA, GOLDEN VOYAGE OF SINBAD and DANGER DIABOLIK! "Lee Van Cleef uses him for toilet paper in this movie to wipe his ass with him!"
Quentin has loved this film since he was a kid, and claims it has one of Morricone’s best scores (it does)
He also points out that "when Banditos have captured your ass in one of these, they’d fuck with you spaghetti western style… and that was way worse than anything the Nazis could do to you. FIIIRRRST! They’d bury you in nearly molten hot searing desert sand and dirt up to your neck and laugh at you. Then they’d fill your mouth full of salt and leave you there. Well the worst of that type of torture is in THIS MOVIE ALRIGHT?!" Now I liked this film quite a bit, but it didn’t quite live up to what I had built it up to being in my head. DEATH RIDES A HORSE needs to have badass costume design… Now, the opening sequence is friggin amazingly cool. I mean brutal mean evil rainy night, way harsher than the beginnings of any of those Snoopy novels… This was hardcore evil. Seen through the eyes of a little boy… the killing and raping of his whole family. With images, key characteristics of the attackers being firmed up in his mind. The impetus of obsession. FANTASTIC.
Now here, John Phillip Law is stiff and uncomfortable, but he’s playing a newbie to the revenge circuit… He hasn’t gotten all the trick figured out just yet. And Lee Van Cleef isn’t so much evil or mean or badass… as much as he is cocksure. It plays out like a western version of STAR TREK II WRATH OF KHAN, except imagine if Kirk was marooned in the center of a dead planet for two years and wanted to lay waste to Khan’s ass. That’s sort of where this movie is.
At the end of this one… the time was closing up on 2am… several pussies left, figuring to rest up for the all night horror sci fi marathon the next night… Again, I must state… Pussies…
Quentin came out to introduce the final film of the night. DAY OF ANGER. Now as a rule at Quentin fests… if you ain’t ever heard a single peep about the friggin flick… Then this is the one that will kick your ass all the way back to consciousness.
