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HALL8WEEN: THE HOMECOMING Review!!
Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
So, without further ado... someone sat through HALLOWEEN 8. Here's what they thought.
Hey Harry -
"Mike Shank" here with my worthless opinion on the new Halloween movie called HALL8WEEN: THE HOMECOMING. You haven't posted anything about this on your site, so please allow me to be the first. Pop the cherry on the new
Halloween flick.
If you're really tired of all those lame teen slasher/horror flicks out
there, check out "The Others," but if you want a lame teen slasher/horror
flick that is just pure fun (i.e. not Urban Legend, Jeepers Creepers, or
anything with a roman numeral after it) I recommend you check out the new
Halloween.
Basically, the movie begins where Halloween: H20 left off and shows us why
infact we'll be seeing Michael Myers after the decapitation job in the last
one. SPOILERS BEWARE............
Michael switched masks with the ambulance driver, so he is still at large
(surprise, surprise) and the ambulance driver is without a head. Anyways,
Laurie is in a mental hospital where she meets up with Michael. Hey, I'm not
going to spoil EVERYTHING! My name is not Matt Drudge, it's "Mike Shank."
So the movie is basically about a web cast that is set up by a bunch of naive
teens (yes, those same type of naive teens). Well, Michael Myers doesnt get
an instant message from them for an invite, but he invites himself in anyways
and that's when the mayhem begins.
The acting is pretty solid. Busta Rhymes plays Freddie Harris. He takes a
little bit to get used to. Maybe because I was waiting for him to yell "Woo
Haa, I got Michael Myers all in CHECK" but it never happened. Sean Patrick
Thomas (yeah that guy who taught Julia Stiles how to dance) is in the movie,
but he might as well not have been. I don't remember him, the audience
doesn't remember, and I'm pretty sure he's forgotten he was in the movie.
The best dude in the movie is the one behind the Myers mask. He's freaky as
all hell. Seriously.
When all is said in done, it's a pretty crafty movie. Rick Rosenthal, from
Halloween 2, directed it and takes it above the average teen horror movie.
The death scenes were over the top, but I guess the ol' knife to the back
death scenes are a little too tame for today's standards. I recommend the
movie, though. It's a fun hour and half ... about all we can expect from a
movie that takes place on a web cam, though, right?
"MIKE SHANK"
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First you hear that this movie delayed until next year and now you hear a somewhat glowing review. If this movie is that good why the delay
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Thanks for the info, I'm a Halloween fan, but, come on! Does anyone know the English language anymore. I mean for all intensive purposes how are we going to communicate if it keeps getting worse?
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This sounds like a bag of shit. And what a detailed review, brilliant. If i was posting an exclusive review for the world to see, i'd spend more than two minutes writing it.
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But hopefully Halloween 8 will make enough money to greenlight Halloween 9: THE PROM.
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I'm a Halloween fan, but I would be surprised if this film tried anything new. I wish this damn review wasn't so "politely vague." Dark Horizons has been splattering reviews of this flick on its site for weeks. What's interesting to me is that they must have filmed three different openings with Jamie Lee Curtis, if you believe the test-screening reviews.
SPOILER ALERT!-- DON'T SCROLL DOWN IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT JAMIE LEE'S FATE IN THE FILM...
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The opening sequence ends with Laurie Strode facing Myers on a mental hospital's rooftop. One version has her stabbed and killed by Michael, one has her falling off the roof and going into a coma, and one has her falling off the roof into a truck of twigs (huh?) and driving off into the night. I wonder which one tested best with the audiences. The first one seems like an unceremonious exit for the original Scream Queen. -
Bottom line is you'll all see the film and thats it! They'll make their money. It's only a 90 minute film, its not your whole life folks! Get one!
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Sorry, guys, It's just a rehash for profit. It will be a fun movie. Just don't take the process so seriously. jetster
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Aug 17, 2001 6:45:01 PM CDT
As Maxwell Smart would say, "Ah-hah! The old switching masks wit
by regis travolta
Would you believe I have 10,000 masked maniacs waiting outside to slice you to ribbons? No? Well would you believe I have 1,000 masked maniacs waiting outside to chop you to bits? No? What about Freddie Prinze Jr. in a tuxedo?
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Michael Myers, somehow evading death yet again, stabbing John Carpenter in the back...for several reasons: A) "HALLOWEEN III"...'nuff said. B) Having not made a decent film SINCE "HALLOWEEN." C) Putting the poor guy out of his misery for having to watch what's been done to his creation over the years. Then, in "HALLOWEEN X" (which will either take place on Pluto in the year 2563 or pull a "WES CRAVEN'S NEW NIGHTMARE" and take place on the SET of the next "HALLOWEEN" movie), Carpenter himself will come back from the dead and finally kill Michael Myers once and for all. Stranger things have happened... Jetcreep is right, though...I'll probably see it nonetheless.
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I bet this new lump of celluoid waste is exactly like a web cast:boring and unwatchable. Now if Mike Myers had shown up at that putz DotComGuy's house. That would be entertainment. The forced storyline for this movie sounds even more incoherent and implausable than part 6. The real Mike Myers has long taken a dirt nap. All were seeing now is Jason with a inside-out rubber mask
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Nice job correcting someone else's English and then backing it up with your own grammatical error. It's "intents and purposes". Look it up. First Jamie Lee starts shilling for some third rate cellular phone company and then goes back on her word and agrees to be in this crap? Any word on whether or not Halloween II is going to be a Special Edition DVD now? DVDfile.com had a petition going. Originally it was going to be a S.E. and the studio thought there wasn't enough consumer interest and canceled the commentary track.
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This movie is going to be a giant waste of time..im a huge halloween fan and know everything about halloween/michael myers..this franchise is over..i guarantee that this movie is being delayed because it is worthless and akkad knows it..so now he is trying to figure out what to do..release it straight to video(not likely),,go back and redo scenes and blah blah blah...not likely...no,,they'll just release another piece of garbage like h20 and that will be that..it'll do shitty and they'll think it did good and do another(maybe)....as far as anyone is concerned,,stay away from anything past halloween 2(watch 3 for fun sometimes)..and post your gripes to let them fuckers know that they are killing the most interesting horror 'shape' ever....and NO fuckhead..i will not waste money on this just because....
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Halloweenmovies.com has confirmed that this film is being delayed, and get this---the reason is that they want to apparently tinker with the ending. They use "Fatal Attraction" as an example of a film that was saved by ending reshoots. Sure, that's all well and good, but how is this "lowest common denominator" thinking a good thing? All this test audience, lowest-common-denominator marketing of films has led to many films seeming "alike". No one has the guts to create an original ending anymore. Every word, every song, every last breath in many films are held to strict "test audience happiness" guidelines. Let's be honest. Most moviegoers live on a steady diet of "junk food films", thus most films taste like empty calories. And the makers of "Halloween: Homecoming" think this works? Fine. Delay it until 2002.
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Aug 17, 2001 11:33:54 PM CDT
SPOILER ENDING!!!: MYERS IS UNMASKED TO REVEAL IT WAS FREDDIE PR
by billy_zardus
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BUT IN HOLLYWOOD IT IS ALL ABOUT THE MONEY
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i saw this piece of horseshit about two weeks ago and sent Harry a review, but that review never made the site. odd. anyway, i sent my review (with some follow-ups) to Corona. this film is just god-awful. anyone who says this is a good movie is just absolutely full of shit.
the opening sequence (MINOR SPOILERS) is like a spoof. jamie lee curtis is absolutely ridiculous...her acting is shit and her dialogue is laughable. the big "shock" of Laurie Strode's fate in the opening sequence was a little more shocking when it happened to Drew Barrymore's character in "Scream." But oh well.. -
MAJOR
S
P
O
I
L
E
R
S.......
She traps Michael on the roof of the insane asylum since "I knew you'd come for me. What took you so long?" Anyway, he's hanging from a flag pole or some shit and she goes to cut the rope so he'll fall to his death, but she gets flashbacks of killing the wrong man in H20 and says (yes literally says), "I...just...have to..be..sure." She goes to pull of his mask (why not order him to take off his mask with the knife to his throat or something? anyway, i digress...) and he (SURPRISE!) grabs her and pulls her off the rooftop and her back pushes right into his knife. She moans, pulls herself up and kisses him on the "lips" (he's wearing the mask still after all) and says, "I'll see you in hell!" and then lets herself fall to her death.
Yawn. -
Aug 18, 2001 9:02:36 PM CDT
Is this review B.S.? check this out and decide on your own
by chanadlerbong
http://www.halloweenmovies.com/site/h8news.htm
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I'll confess I really am not a fan of H2O for quite a few reasons. I was actually hopeing they would bring him back one more time just to kill him off right. but this one from what i just read is not right. the guy that did H2 fucked the film up big time. they had to get the man who needs no introduction to come back and fix it. I've got this thing with rappers in horror films. I do not beleave it works that well. there is more I could say but I feel my spelling and gramore skills are a bout to fade into mud. bwy bow... peice.
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I think the phrase you are looking for is "intents and purposes" not "intensive purposes." Be careful with those stones.
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