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Capone looks at OSMOSIS JONES!
Hey folks, Harry here... I'll check this out soon, but folks I must recommend you seeing THE OTHERS first. It's a movie that we simply do not see enough of. Now here's Capone....
Hey, Harry. Capone in Chicago here to say that if the new Farrelly brothers
animated splendor OSMOSIS JONES became a Saturday morning cartoon, I’d watch
it. And it could so easily be adapted, it’s scary. Imagine each week Bill
Murray (more than likely someone a little cheaper; say a Dabney Coleman)
having a new bodily malfunction, and having Jones and his crew of white
blood cells come in and save the day. If such a Saturday morning cartoon had
the originality and veracity of this film version, hell yeah I’d watch it.
I laughed and was sickened by the chance-taking gall that is OSMOSIS JONES,
the story of Frank (Murray) and his body of disrepair. If it’s unhealthy,
Frank shoves it in his mouth. One day Frank and his daughter were visiting
the monkey cage at the zoo where Frank works. A monkey grabs a hard-boiled
egg out of Franks hand and puts it in its mouth. Frank wrestles the egg from
the monkey’s jaw and it falls into the well-treaded dirt below. In an act of
pure defiance, Frank eats the egg complete with clippings, dirt, and who
knows what else still attached. Yum!
Little does Frank know but an entire animated civilization (called “Frank”)
living in his body, headed by a mayor, policed by white blood cells, with a
system of highways trafficked by red blood “cars.” When Mayor Phlegmming
(William Shatner) receives complaints that fat cells are overpopulating a
certain area of the body, he calls for the construction of a new chin. When
citizens worry about hair becoming “unemployed” on the Frank’s head, he
promises more jobs on the back. You get the idea, and what a great idea it
is. Frank’s inner city is a fully realized master stroke. I wanted to see
how every part of him was cartoonishly realized. Enter white blood cell
Osmosis Jones (voiced by Chris Rock). He is the stereotypical maverick cop
in the form of a white blood cell, and he opens the film by accidentally
causing the collapse of a part of Franks leg (giving him one hell of a
cramp). As a result of this action, Jones is giving the seemingly pitiful
task of escorting a cold tablet named Drix (the wonderful David Hyde Pierce,
somewhat repeating his characterization from A BUG’S LIFE) through Frank’s
system to erase any symptoms. When Frank popped the Drix tablet, he thought
he had a cold. In fact, a nasty and deadly virus entered his system when he
ate the filthy egg. The virus, called Thrax (Laurence Fishburne), has made
it his personal goal to kill Frank within 48 hours.
Osmosis and Drix team up to alert the rest of the body to this threat, but
because it’s Jones nobody believes them at first. You can probably guess how
things turn out, but what fun it was getting there. Some great visuals
include Frank’s nasal passages in the form of a damn...which bursts under
the pressure of a ton of snot. Frank also develops a gigantic zit right
between his eyes, which actually throbs before it bursts. Does the fun never
stop? You can probably gather from these descriptions that OSMOSIS JONES is
often gross, and for some of you that probably won’t cut it. But this is
classic Farrelly territory. The live-action stuff with Murray and his
daughter is good and cute, but when the animation is on screen, you
completely forget about humans. I saw this film with an audience of mostly
children, and they were ultra-attentive. Chris Rock gets a chance to strut
his vocal skills, and Fishburne finally gets to unleash his dark side as the
beautifully drawn Thrax. What the animation lacks in fine details, it makes
up for in pure enthusiasm. OSMOSIS JONES is a riotous, original, and
disgusting bit of coolness.
Capone (Send Me Males Here! Um, I mean Mail, damn that Knowles!)
or check out my collected review at (just click on Steve@theMovies).
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+ Expand All
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The Magic Schoolbus already covered this ground. I kind of like the Magic School Bus. And three times is a charm, or whatever.
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Hey, NomiMalone...did you know that if you take two Xanax and drink (approx) 2 beers...it equals double vision. I tried that once. And then tried ti again with a friend. We were sooo impressed with the results(her singular cat weaving its way in and out of the bars on the porch and our vision of TWO cats weaning their way in and out of double the usual number of bars) that we made a ceremony of flushing the rest of the Xanax. Then we crawled to our respective beds...that is all
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Harry, how can you honestly reccomend one film over another when you haven't seen both? From what I've seen of the HBO "making of.." special, Osmosis Jones looks really clever and fun. And so help me, if I hear "I am your daughter" at the end of one more The Others commercial, I can't be responsible for my actions. Talk about overkill! No, I think I'll go see Osmosis Jones on Friday instead (though sadly, I suspect I'll be the only one.) Thanks anyway.
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The designs i saw on the 'net got my attention, not WB's lack of promotion and bad trailers. WB has no idea how to handle their animated movies. If the movie flops, it's all their fault.
I saw the HBO first look and clips at IGN and this looks like a fun movie. Whiney stiffs need not apply. -
Aug 08, 2001 10:44:46 AM CDT
If this wasn't Capone, I would accuse this of being a plant.
by lenny nero
But it's Capone, although without his little animated persona. Where has it gone? Hmmmmm...something smells fishy. Oh wait, that's my hand.
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Aug 08, 2001 11:30:44 AM CDT
I'm going to refrain from snyde comments, snickers, and grammar-
by jonquixote
But it's a TYPE of movie we don't see enough of, not "it's a movie we don't see enough of." Saying, "it's a movie we don't see enough of" is actually a weird, disjointed criticism of the movie itself.
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the Magic School Bus kicks ass!
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Aug 08, 2001 11:55:43 AM CDT
If I have to sit through Chris Rock saying "Why ya hit so HAAAHH
by matrix69
It's almost as ridiculous and UGLY as the Harry / Planet of the Apes animation twirling incessantly in the lefthand corner of my browser...
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...hey this look like "Innerspace" remade with Looney Tunes style... hey, it could be funny, anyway
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of course, I was on LSD when I saw it.
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Aug 08, 2001 2:56:41 PM CDT
I Saw It, And It Was Actually Good, But Sadly It's Going To Flop
by the founder
I saw a screening, and I must say it was good. Some of you need to lighten up and enjoy the film, you won't be disappointed. I say the film will flop, because from the commercials, no make that commercial, and the trailer, it didn't interest me at all, and I suspect it will be that way for a lot of people. I think it's going the route of Iron Giant, stupid ass Warners, and their marketing dept.
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i've never seen such a stupid movie before. i can't even stand the few minutes of trailer for this flop! mark my words Osmosis Jones will suck donkey dick just like Monkey Bone did!
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I'm angry at you. You said that "monkey bone sucks donkey dicks", so I ran out to my local dvd store and purchased it(hey I'd pay twenty bucks too watch a monkey suck off a donkey! Wouldn't anyone?) Imagine my dissapointment when I discovered that scene had been edited out! Oh well,that scene where the scary looking neighbor watered his lawn was pretty gross. Who was that guy anyway?
oops! I forgot, Osmosis Jones! yea! THE "OSMAN" RULES! well, I haven't seen it yet but if Bill Shatners in it you just KNOW it's gonna be a classic!
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