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Junior Mintz's 1st Comic-Con Report!!! SCOOBY DOO Still An Atrocity To Man & God!!!
Hey Folks, Harry here... Junior Mintz has finally seen the light, well at least the glow of swamp gas methane stinking hell that surrounds SCOOBY DOO! I don't care what anyone has shown them by Warner Brothers, the fact is the script is an abortion on scale with the worst trite pieces of crap shat from an exec eating cheese and chili with shredded glass on the side!!! BLOODY DENSE STOOL!!!! Unlike this 16 year old fanboy fantasy vixen, I grew up on SCOOBY DOO and adored those mysteries and the interaction between the characters. Casting them with 'tards and writing them as swarmy dumbshits... ACK!!! The only way to save it would be to have Scooby acting scared of Velma, Fred, Daphne and Shaggy and at the end to have the real Velma, Fred, Daphne and Shaggy pull the masks off these puppet hell robotic cretins... and still it would suck. ACK !!!! And they once had the right script! ACK!
Greetings, Boss-Geek!
It's your little breath of mintzy-freshness clocking in with her first report
from the San Diego Comic-con.
We blew outta Burbank late yesterday afternoon. It was me, my friend Goth
Girl Jesus, her boyfriend Dez, and a couple of guys from Dez's garage band
who still read comic books - ha, ha, just kidding, guys. We all piled in
Dez's wicked cool purple and white '53 Bel Air and sped down the 5,
determined to get to SD in ninety minutes or less and thus make the first
ever comic con preview nite. As it turned out, we got no where near SD in
under four hours. The LA rush hour traffic did us in, and by the time we
cleared downtown all of us were cranky. Goth Girl Jesus was in my face from
the start, wondering why I wasn't bringing my AICN costume to the show. "Oh
that's smart GGJ," I snapped. "Parade around dressed like the godamn cartoon
which looks exactly like me (thanks Cartuna - die, die, die!) in front of a
hundred AICN-burned media execs. I might as well wear a tee shirt that
reads: 'Hello! I am an internet spy for Aint It Cool News. Disgruntled
show-biz types please beat me hard.' No, I think I'll be sticking with my
cartoon Supergirl tee shirt and cut-offs, thank you very much."
Dez's base player, a hunk of wayward intelligence named Stu thought this was
real funny and wanted to see me and GGJ have an old fashioned girl beat-down
right there on the backseat. I didn't like this guy, so when we stopped for
Krispy Kremes in La Habra, I got Dez to ditch him. It was funny seeing him
running down the street, hurling abuse and crullers at us. We went through
his comic box and found a mint Hulk #181 (first full Wolverine story) which
we later cashed in for a room at the Embassy Suites.
This morning I did my first run of the con floor, and it's bigger, louder,
stinkier, geekier and better than ever. My first big purchase was a Little
Enid Doll designed by Dan Clowes. Enid is the heroine of both Clowes' GHOST
WORLD book and upcoming movie. The fact that Press-Pop toys made an action
doll of little girl Enid (which does nothing despite the fact she's toting
both a ray gun and a pistol on the box) is a bizarre touch that would have
delighted the real Enid no end. Too bad she doesn't come with a pull-on
Catwoman mask.
My second purchase, and the reason for this long, boring preamble (sorry in
advance, talkbackers) was a copy of the shooting script to SCOOBY DOO. Now,
some months back I had read Harry's foam-at-the-mouth diatribe about the
Scooby movie with some amusement. "Jeez, simmer down, dude!" I told him at
the time. "It's probably just a silly script about a silly TV cartoon."
Personally, I missed the whole Scooby thing as a kid. The stories were all
cookie-cutter alike and the show, to me at least, never seemed as hip, funny
or creepy as those who remembered it fondly had claimed. It was just a
cartoon and not a great one at that. Certainly no reason for all the fuss.
So today after beating feet outta the con floor at noon, I went back to the
Embassy for some pool time and to read his so-called atrocity to both God and
man. I mean, how bad could it be? Sweet fancy Moses! I got about fifteen
pages into it before I was on my feet screaming. Everyone at the pool
thought I had stepped on broken glass or something, I was bellering so loud.
The script, credited to ten writers, is possibly the worst hunk of garbage
ever vomited out by a major studio, and that's saying something. Next to
SCOOBY DOO, BATMAN & ROBIN is CITIZEN KANE. I won't waste your time with
recounting the trite, thuddingly stupid plot, the crash and burn non-jokes
and the lame-brained attempts at deconstructionist characterization, but I
will say this:
Hey WB studio morons, SCOOBY DOO, at its best (what little of it there was)
was a show a lot of little kids liked. And, judging by the response it gets
on Cartoon Network, still do. What you have done here in your attempts to be
"witty, hip, and funny", is taken a very simple concept and killed it. You
are creating a film too snide, mean-spirited and adult for kids, and too
mindless, infantile and boring for adults. Good job, guys. SCOOBY DOO, like
BATMAN, INDIANA JONES and the better Disney cartoons, is to a great degree,
kids fantasy. The filmmakers have to believe whole-heartedly in the basic
reality of that world or you have NO MOVIE. With SCOOBY, you had a chance to
do what kids really found attractive about the concept, which is a slightly
cartoonier version of a kid's adventure mystery, something along the lines of
GOONIES or SPY KIDS. What you are making reads like a soulless lampoon of a
third-rate comedians rewrite of the show. "Hey, wouldn't it be funny if Fred
was an egotistical credit-stealing jerk, Daphne's a brain-dead bimbo obsessed
with her skinny ass, Velma's wallpaper and Shaggy is always making
not-so-veiled references to dope? Of course as we have to protect the
all-important Burger King tie-in, we can never show him smoking any, but
it'll be kind of a hip nod to all the guys out there who really knew what
Shag was all about, right?"
No. That's not it, cretins. You got it all dead-wrong and despite all the
merchandise, all the burger tie-ins, and a multi-million dollar ad campaign
that will earn a number of deserving folks time in hell for foisting this
train-wreck onto the movie-going public, this film and everything associated
with it will die. You've taken a cartoon that was simple and fun for kids,
and because of your lack of imagination, ground it into something cynical,
mean, and ultimately forgettable. You were right about one thing, though.
One element of the later SCOOBY cartoons was as bad an idea then as it is
now. The fact you are making your entire script hinge on that one element
will just hasten its demise all the faster. Ugh, ugh, ugh!
Okay, that's all for today's tirade. Me back to the convention now for more
fun.
Later!
Junior Mintz
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Jul 19, 2001 4:05:27 PM CDT
Please God - don't let that "element" be SCRAPPY DOO!!!!
by larry_talbot
If Scrappy's in, count me out.
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Phil Stubbs lives!
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Here
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I feel sorry for all us Scooby Doo fans because we will watch this, even if we know in our hearts it will be pants. Its a shame that in this day and time with so many comic actors out there, they go for the guys the teenie boppers will love. Tom Green IS shaggy, not the guy from the much overrated Scream. It is daylight robbery and has shamed the name of Scooby. This will be the worst film of the year and its a shame that such a great cartoon character will have the opportunity of becoming a cinema star too, fucked up beyond belief. What is this world coming to? Is it (As Mr Piddy Daddy would say) All about the Benjamins and not about the end product. When you have the chance to make a film using a great character and you know you cannot come up to the standards we expect from the tv show, just DONT DO IT. Its that simple! Give it to someone else with talent and who knows what they are doing. So after years and years of a great cartoon, the younger audience will remember Scooby for this crap. That is a capital crime of the highest order which will go unpunished. Is there a god? Is there Justice? NO! There is Bloody Freddie Prince Jr and his band of fuckwits.
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It has always been obvious that this movie would suck, because Scooby Doo ALWAYS sucked.
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JM: Fun review, nice detail. Thanks. And TalkBack Nerds: Does it make you cool to pick on people because you misunderstood an amusing and innocuous play on words? while I'm thinking about it, pulling an ad hominem fallacy ain't gonna' get you nowhere, neither. Why shouldn't a "300 pound geek" be capable of doing a decent job covering cool movie stuff? Do you choose not to take orders from Hitler because he's short or because he's a xenophobic psycopath? Do you choose not to take Harry and his cronies seriously because they're having too much fun or because they look silly? Or do you post stupid stuff on public forums because the time that people waste replying to you makes you feel important?
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Wokka-wokka.
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Sounds like a pretty average person.
Why oh why do they keep making these kind of movies? It's not like a lot of the original fans are going to see these movies; they're just chum for a generation that sees them as a cliche and can't spend $8.50 of their parent's money on a book because it would require more than 108 minutes of their attention.
Okay, rant off.
Anyway, It didn't sound like ScoobyDoo was going to be any good anyway, so no loss to hear the script is crap, though it's pretty lame to sell them at a con when it should on the web somewhere (capitalist pigs). -
Guy Ritchie a talented Director, mwhaaaaaaa Jesus Christ stop it. He has made 2 films which are exactly the same, and both are absolute tosh compared to something like Sexy Beast. The guy put Vinnie Jones in a movie for christsakes, thats a crime in itself.
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is a talkback relating to the fucking Scooby-Doo movie. i really really don't understand the hysteria about it. Like a previous poster has said "Scooby Doo has ALWAYS sucked". I agree with that. So let it go...just ignore it from afar and it will all go away. Now, sometime ago, i heard a joke about David Lynch's Scooby Doo that kicked ass. Fred and Daphne get married and they soon find out that they are going to have a baby. turns out that their baby is a mutated yet lovable(not to mention perputally stoned)great dane! HILAITY ENSUED!-----------P.S. did anyone else notice if you click on the Junior Mintz drawing-dealie, you're taken to a screen that shows a topless Junior Mintz dealie. Now, i must ask, since i was under the impression that Junior Mintz is 16...will i be sharing a cell with Gary Glitter?
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Seriously, I appreciate the clarification. Personal attacks on people tend to get my gander up, but you have conclusively demonstrated that your post was all in good fun. Please accept my apologies. MistahEyuh, on the other hand, still has some nastiness to account for. Let's all play nice, now. (I've been in major academia mode all summer, but it ought to wear off soon enough. The cheap moralizing may be a bit harder to eliminate, though. I've been told that a laxative might help... Gotta' try that.)
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Can't this studio do anything decent? 10 fucking writers when they had a wonderful script from one writer named Craig Titley who nailed Scooby Doo perfectly? God almighty Lorenzo why take something that was once good fun and wreck it like this? Why? What Mintz Girl said was so good that I'll just paste part of her diatribe here with the hope that it'll sink in, but let me add that the very worst thing that ever could've happened to the Hanna-Barbera library was that you jamokes at Why Bother studios got your hands on it. "No. That's not it, cretins. You got it all dead-wrong and despite all the merchandise, all the burger tie-ins, and a multi-million dollar ad campaign that will earn a number of deserving folks time in hell for foisting this train-wreck onto the movie-going public, this film and everything associated with it will die. You've taken a cartoon that was simple and fun for kids, and because of your lack of imagination, ground it into something cynical, mean, and ultimately forgettable. You were right about one thing, though. One element of the later SCOOBY cartoons was as bad an idea then as it is now. The fact you are making your entire script hinge on that one element will just hasten its demise all the faster. Ugh, ugh, ugh!" Good going Junior Mintz!
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Jul 19, 2001 6:01:47 PM CDT
EVERYONE PLEASE READ THIS POST... ESPECIALLY HARRY KNOWLES!!!!!!
by fat lot of good
I find it very hard to believe, in this day of movie secretness, that a shooting script for Scooby Doo would be on sale at a Comic Con. I think what she really bought was an out of date old Scooby script that was passed over.
Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd how about we all wait until this film is finished before we rubbish it. I was a huge Scooby fan growing up. I loved the cartoon, and just because they hacve cast Prinze Jr does not mean I am going to go hating the film BEFORE I have seen any shred of footage.
I make short films, this is only because I do not have the budget to make features, I have a website where I show these films for free www.fatlotofgood.com , I also have a mate who has never made any sort of film in his life, but he spends a lot of time criticising my films and others. Harry, have you ever made a film? Have you ever written a feature lenght film? Tried to get great characters on the page, and an interesting story? You know what? It is fucking hard to bring an idea from your head to the page then translate it to the screen. If more people were out there at least tryingt o make films then they would realise how hard it really is, and they wouldn't spend so much time bagging out films that are still currently shooting. -
First base, in fact. Lynchburg Little League, 1977-79. Ah, the good old days, we never won a game but had a horrible time anyway...
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I've never posted before this, but I have to admit that Harry's slams on SCOOBY DOO continue to make me squirm with uneasiness. I mean, I remember reading the JAY & SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK review that vehemently trashed shit-talking talkbackers, but that seems to apply to "us," people who just read the site. I've seen the cast pictures of SCOOBY DOO and I don't know what disturbs me more Freddie Prinze's wig or the fact that Velma is now apparently a heterosexual. I wonder where the film is going, and I'm sure I'll wade through the reviews before I decide on seeing it in the theater or waiting five years before it breaks into the the SuperStation's BEASTMASTER/CLASH OF THE TITANS/AMERICAN NINJA rotation. But as trepidatious as I might feel about the movie, I'm absolutely comfortable with waiting on a review from someone who's seen it and not someone who compares a work-in-progress (it is, isn't it?) to "bloody stool." (Thanks, Har. Reached a new gross-out level with that one.) Now I'm not posting a counter-slam on you, but man, it just seems a little...contradictory. I'm sure if he or anyone on his side replies to this, there'll be some counter involving some loophole of "but I didn't..." when the fact is yep, you did. You made an intial snap judgment on X-MEN when you saw Wolverine didn't have on yellow spandex or that Sabretooth looked like Brett Michaels after a week on Dr. Moreau's island. But I, as well as some other people, liked the movie just fine--and you did too...once you saw it. I'm not saying to not be wary--it's not hard to get queasy after seeing photo stills of characters we grew up with, glossies that don't look all that glossy. But my point is, calm down, man. Rip the wig, not the movie. It may suck, and I'm all for trashing all things that suck. But I usually see them before I do. Save your bloody stool post until you actually see the film, and in the meantime, pray it doesn't suck as bad as you seem to want it to. (and it can't be THAT bad for a man of your tastes...c'mon...you liked that Ferris Bueller versus Godzilla flick, didn't you?)
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I have no idea why you people are getting all bent out of shape over an adaptation of a third-rate cartoon. Of COURSE the movie is going to suck...Scooby Doo sucks to begin with.
Even after my third viewing of said cartoon at the age of eight, I understood the ending to every episode was going to be "pull the mask off the guy we met in act 2 to discover he's actually the 'ghost.'" It's a piss-poor cartoon, folks. Piss-poor storylines with piss-poor characters. (Fred the Gay Man, Daphne the hottie, Velma the lezbian android, Shaggy the stoner and Scooby the dog. That's an episode of Sha-Na-Na.) How could this possibly make a *good* movie?
Oh, I suppose you could completely rehaul the 'toon's basic theme, plotline formula and characterizations...then it might make a decent pic, but of course all of the Scooby fans out there would still bitch about the film's break from the original program.
Plain speaking: Scooby Doo The Movie will suck beacuse Scooby Doo The Cartoon sucked. Why not just make a film about Lost Saucer? Or the one about that talking Dune Buggy! Yeah! I *loved* that show, and will immediately trash any movie that is not an accurate reproduction of my bizzare, personal, preconcieved notions.
Oh yeah...I hope someone makes a movie about Strawberry Shortcake so I can write another Talk Back just like this one. -
Jul 19, 2001 6:59:38 PM CDT
I'll watch this in about ten years when it's on the tube some ra
by el tronerino
Ah my sweet Buffy, if only you'd fallen for me instead of Prinze..then you wouldn't currently be doing 25 to life for eviscerating the vacuous bastard with a dulled spork....
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First, let me say, I am old enough to have seen all the scooby doos when they were originally on. It wasn't an epic cartoon then and over time it seems to get worse. I assume that what they are doing is making a farce much like they did with the Brady Bunch. I didn't hear anyone up in arms about having Marsha and Greg have incest fantasies or Jan being Psychotic. Is there a differnce between this and that? If there is I don't see it. Scooby was a grade B cartoon and if they took it seriously, who would want to see it? Did you all line up to see Bullwinkle? Of course I haven't seen the script but geez I can't imagine why there is so much hostility over a stupid, badly animated, badly written cartoon. What's next? A bell tower shooting massacre over Far out Space Nuts the Movie?
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Sure, I have a cable modem, so the download isn't a problem, but I really don't feel like scrolling down and down and down just to get to the Talkbalks. Anyways, Scooby-Doo... Talk about a wasted oppurtunity. They had a chance, in making this movie, to please a lot of audiences (or in moviespeak, "key demos"). Kids, teens, adults... I think everyone would be up for a Scooby-Doo movie, if it was done right. Anthing that, by anyone's opinion, makes Batman & Robin look like anything better than it is, is certainly something to avoid. The saddest part about this whole affair is that this is the only chance we'll ever have for a Scooby-Doo movie, and they ruined it. Bastards.
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I'll just watch the Scooby Doo ending to Wayne's World, thank you very much.
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Jul 19, 2001 8:43:12 PM CDT
Yet ANOTHER reason for a slashdot-style interface on this board.
by sith lord jesus
. . .at least the damn Talkbacks would be in chronological order! http://sourceforge.net/project/showfiles.php?group_id=4421&release_id=34462, Harry. It's all there waiting for you. Now I'm gonna go manipulate the mango to Junior Mintz's centerfold. Ta.
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People who actually think they are intelligent enough to have a valid opinion when they haven
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Fuck you. The good cartoons are better than most of the crap on TV. Some of the best movies ever made are animated, too. I repeat, fuck you, you "animation is for kids" bastard.
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...and devoid of any imagination. A talking dog? Wow. It wasn't very funny when I was a kid, and seeing the reruns now is pretty mindnumbing. All of you "fans" of Scooby Doo should step aside because only cynicism and Hollywood hipness can save this film. And, as Harry steps up to the plate and belts out STILL ANOTHER fecal matter reference in an attempt to put his feelings into words, I'm just glad that I'm not one of you "fans", and that I can see beyond mere nostalgia for something that was created as disposable entertainment and barely hit THAT mark.
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"Parade around dressed like the godamn cartoon which looks exactly like me (thanks Cartuna - die, die, die!)"
If that's her opinion of the REGULAR cartoon, then I am so dead... -
...hahah, are you Cartuna? That link is insane...I thought this place was hacked for a second there.
(click Junior Mintz' cartoon for details ; ) -
Hi Guys
It seems that the "Hollywood on the Gold coast" curse has struck again. Nearly all movies made at the Warner Bros studio in Queensland seem to real stinkers. If only the money that was saved on filming in Australia was spent on better scripts..!!
Mark The Video God
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Hmmmmm, I'm still not sure yet. Obviously the talent involved is horrendous. Sarah is good actress and defines hotty but the only thing worse then her taste in projects is her taste in men. YOU ARE TAINTED NOW, SARAH! Anyhow, that said, I think a funny "Brady Bunch Movie" style Scooby would have been cool. But if it is witless forget it. But I don't get that hollering about it going that way. I really wouldn't want to see another little kids movie. I have a big place in my heart for the cartoon but sitting through some Flintstones style flick would be just as annoying. I think it will just suck anyway but it could have been really cool. But I think ALL agree: Scrappy was soooo stupid! Remember being a kid seeing that and wishing the old one was on and where the FUCK did the gang go and the only good ones were when they would cameo? Me too! Adios!
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Someone on here said that the Wachowskis are good film makers. Okay they made Matrix which I liked even though it seemed to be Dark City premise + Strange Days premise + Blade style + scenes taken directly from John Woo and classic Kung Fu= Matrix. But despite that, Matrix was pretty groundbreaking. But anyways, the Wachowskis made Captain America , and theAntonio Banderas versus Rambo movie.
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Holy shit, lay off the amphetamines. I've never heard of someone dying of carpal tunnel syndrome, but you might be the first. BTW I am NOT Cartuna (nowhere close to that talented)
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Jul 19, 2001 10:35:33 PM CDT
When Eriglione Asked Me If I Wanted To Help Him Rob The Comic Co
by buzz maverik
He figured that a lot of money would be changing hands, there'd be a lot of valuable comics, maybe we could even kidnap Weegis, or Regis or Beavis, one of those big time comic pros. "What're we using for weapons?" I asked. Eriglione explained that we'd buy some off some cops at a donut shop. So when we stopped at this Krispy Kreme off the 5 and he went over to score us a couple of micro-Uzis off the donut police and I yelled, "See if they have any pot." This guy came over and said he was a bass player and some chick had taken off with his HULK comic that had the first Wolverine appearance and could he have a ride. I made an executive decision and cut him into the plot. As I told Eriglione, "We can't take down an entire comic book convention by ourselves. Some of those comic book people are pretty nuts. It's all that pent up sexual frustration." Eriglione said, "Speaking of pent up sexual frustration, why don't we head down to T.J. before we hit the convention." I had a bad feeling. Last time I'd been to T.J. with Eriglione, he'd ended up married to a girl he'd met backstage at a donkey show and I got burned on a shipment of butterfly knives, Cuban cigars and firecrackers. But the bass player had never been to T.J., so I figured if worse came to worse, we could sell him for beer money.
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...I figure most people who come to AICN stay at establishments that "leave the light on for you".
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I can't believe the dialogue going on here! I remember watching Scooby as a kid(I'm gueesing age 6-9), but its novelty wore off once I grew a brain. It's a fucking cartoon, just like any other, not meant to be made into a movie. Don't the studio dipshits ever learn? Don't you sorry fucks who debate this ever learn? Of course, the answer is no, as both groups choose to live in Fantasyworld, whether it be Hollywood or the basement in your parents' house. Let's see... Josie & the Pussycats, Flintstones I and II, Casper, etc. are all monuments to cartoons transformed into live-action. They all fucking blow, as does the "idea"(Harry loves it) of a Scooby movie. It makes me sick to read posts in defense of this movie, and it makes me sicker to think there is an actual demand for it. The unholy turd that is Freddie Prinze Jr. is the rotten cherry on top. Maybe Charles Shulze's widow will option the rights for a "Peanuts" movie to Joel Schumacher, and Harry can wait in anticipation, hoping all the while that a "good" version will make it to the screen.
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DUDE! WTF is up with posting the entire fucking first act of Temple of Doom?! I'd bet green money you probably cut and pasted the entire thing and the Talkback formatting just cut it off at page, what, 35? Dude... that's just wrong, man. Just wrong.
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Motel 6! WOOHOO! I rule!!
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Your caper tale sounds quite remeniscent of the Beastie Boys' "Paul Revere." // " 'Now, I got the gun, you got the brew. Ya got two choices of what you can do. It's not a tough decision as you can see: I can blow you away or you can ride with me.' I said, 'I'll ride with you if you can get me to the border. The sherrif's after me for what I did to his daughter. I did it like THIS, I did it like THAT, I did it with a whiffle-ball bat! Soooo, I'm on the run, the cops got my gun and right about now it's time to have some fun. The King Adrock, that is my name, and I know the fly spot where they gots the champagne....' " More lyrics to follow only if requested... wouldn't want to pull a BigDVD kinda thing.)
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Jul 19, 2001 11:07:34 PM CDT
I Told Eriglione To Go To The Front Desk & Ask If They Had A Res
by buzz maverik
The suite turned out to be pretty nice. They got the lobster, cracked crab and shrimp up to us pretty quick, as well as the case of Dos Equis, and they must have had the margaritas pre-mixed, but it took their bartenders forever to get all those Long Island Iced Teas. We tipped a bellboy to run over to T.J. for us. Eriglione wanted some supermarket Viagra and I told the bellhop, one Luis G., to look up a guy named Ray who is my Cuban cigar connection in Old Meck-ee-co. "How are we gonna pay for all this shit?" Eriglione asked me. No, problem, I said. "I traded that room key I found to some chick for a copy of HULK # 181." "Was that the first appearance of The Harpy?" "Nope." "Jarella's death?" "Uh-uh." "The return of the Toad Men?" "That was later." By that time, Eriglione lost interest and was already perusing the Yellow Pages listings for "adult entertainment" and "escort services".
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All it's thinly veiled drug and sex references. Where else could we learn about dropping acid or smoking weed to listen to a dog talk and having the munchies constantly? How about all the romps Fred and Daphne MIGHT have had? But seriously, anything it seems that Freddie Prinz Jr and
Matthew Lillard are in together turn to shit and this is no exception. I know where I'll be when this opens and it won't be anywhere near this crap.
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Jul 20, 2001 12:04:21 AM CDT
The Group Of Fans Eyed Me Skeptically & Asked Eriglione If I Was
by buzz maverik
"Moore's this skinny, old guy with long hair and a beard and freaky eyes," one of 'em said, "and all this guy has is the freaky eyes." "Shows you how much you know," Eriglione told the little snot. "It just so happens that when Moore got off heroin, he cut his hair and shaved his beard and took a good fifteen years off his appearance. Also, he was in jail and since the boss jocker was a SWAMP THING fan, Al here got to use to weight room twice a week so he's a little buffer." "Moore's English." I got by that one by ordering a gin and tonic, which brought up the point: "How come he's not on some pro panel and he's just drinking in the hotel bar?" Eriglione reminded them that Moore is British. They wanted me to say something that Alan Moore would say, so I said, "Crowley rules! Another double gin and tonic, you blighter." Some of them still weren't convinced, so Eriglione said, "Alright! No autographs for any of you! And we're not refunding your money!" Finally, after they'd all paid triple, I started signing, "Have an evil day, yer pal Al" on copies of THE WATCHMEN and THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN.
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Jul 20, 2001 12:21:38 AM CDT
Um, this is a kiddie movie folks. That means you take your kids
by mayhem ensues
Though the script sounds stupid it IS basically a live action cartoon. Remember "Scooby Doo"? It was never a show based on witty dialogue or sophisticated humor. But I bet the kids will love it.
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Jul 20, 2001 1:49:01 AM CDT
Hollywood Never Ceases To Amaze Me. Freddie Pinze, Ryan Phillipe
by the founder
I just don't understand Hollywood at times. How many movies will old Freddie continue to get , before they realize his films aren't making any money. It's like they keep saying I know it's going to work this time. Ryan Phillipe is in the same boat, and for no other reason then GOD Paul Walker has manged to stumble into a flick that makes some cash, and he's given top billing on Fast and Furious? No one but a few people went and seen that film because of him. Vin Diesal was the main crowd attracter with the cars, and cool races being second, and Ja Rule being third bringing in the large hiphop audience, and he wasn't even in it that long. I'll say it again Hollywood never ceases to amaze me. BY THE WAY SCOBBY DOO WILL SUCK, AND I KNEW THAT WHEN I SAW THE CAST, BUT FOR NO OTHER REASON THEN GOD IT'LL MAKE A CRAP LOAD OF MONEY AND INFUSE MORE POWER INTO FREDDIE'S ACTING CAREER MARK MY WORDS.
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PLEASE STOP MAKING YOUR SECOND RATE B-GRADE STEAMING SHIT PILE MOVIES IN MY COUNTRY!
Australia is becoming the Mexico or Canada of the US film industry (meh slApS fOrEheaD). Just because our dollar is worth half a US buck and it lets you retard movie execs buy a dozen or more dumbphuck scriptwriters to write your vomit-inducing remakes. Doesn't mean we want your stinking money! FFS we'd rather be on the bones of our ar$es than live with the shame of having to make another Scooby-Poo. Either make something good here or don't bother sending it all! -
You really have to calm down about this Scooby Doo thing. You'll just make your back worse. It's not like they're remaking "Citizen Kane" starring Orlando Jones as Charles Foster Kane. It's a dumb little cartoon about dumb little people doing dumb little things. I liked Inspector Gadget, but when I heard they were remaking it with an "A-minus" cast, I didn't blow a gasket. I just said to myself, "self, I don't think we should see this." Then I rented some old HR Pufnstuf Episodes and drank a case of Henry Weinhardt's Hefeweisen (a beer I SORELY miss.) So it's not like we have nothing in common, either.
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if it makes fun of Scooby Doo the way the Brady Bunch movies made fun of the show they were based on. Otherwise this will wind up in the shit heap next to Car 54 Where Are You, The Beverly Hillbillies, and Leave it to Beaver.
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I enjoyed the writing. Great character. More please.
One thing about scooby. If its so bad why did the actors etc choose to do the film. Cant they tell when a script is bad? -
Jul 20, 2001 6:26:11 AM CDT
"Okay Scoob, let's get back to the Mystery Machine."
by rabid_republican
Things need to be placed in perspective here. The majority of us are no longer siting in front of the tube, gnawing on our fudgsickles and watching Hanna Barbera's creations during weekday afternoons (I just couldn't fit it in my schedule anymore.). Our idealized memories of Scooby Doo, along with other nostalgia inspired TV-based stuff should remain exactly that, rather than watch it systematicly raped on celluloid. This argument alone has been enough to keep me away from the Brady Bunch debaucles, both Flinstones, and will most likely do the same for this trash.
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It was ol' man Rafferty all the time. The little B*ll*cks." If this isn't the last line to the movie, I ain't going. Same goes for all movies.
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Jul 20, 2001 7:28:13 AM CDT
"The fact you are making your entire script hinge on that one el
by the tall man
Dear God, SCRAPPY isn't in this movie is he? If they put Scrappy into the first live action SCOOBY flick, then Harry and Mintz are right, this thing is D.O.A.!
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Jul 20, 2001 8:54:05 AM CDT
They're putting this into wide release, but many other great fil
by bigw
http://www.harryknuckles.com/harry/jcvh/
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The cartoon series more than satiated my need to see 4 stupid white chumps and a talking dog tooling around in a blue green van while solving inane murder mysteries. I can live without the movie version.
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Jul 20, 2001 10:18:25 AM CDT
"I won't waste your time with recounting the trite, thuddingly s
by kieran
Why that?!? Why not waste our time? It's not like we've got a party or something to go to. I realise that this "secret world" of passing around the scripts of unreleased films is something to which we mere talk-back mortals can never aspire, but why is it that we always have to take your word? Every second article Harry or Moriarty writes alludes to their opinions of scripts which they're sure as hell never going to post or pass on to the plebs who visit this site. So we just have to take your word. Well what if we want more than "it sucked" or Harry's tragi-comic and frighteningly self-revealatory comments about Scooby-Doo. Waste our time, for Cliff's sake. I honestly don't believe that too many people are going to complain about spoilers to a film based on some crappy cartoon. Let us in on all your cool post-ironic insights. We can hardly wait!
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Hop in, click on "Jab's Area" and look for Scooby Doo. Put the kiddies in the other room.
http://www.jabarchives.com/index.html -
Jul 20, 2001 11:48:24 AM CDT
Shaggy should have been that skinny guy from Road Trip!
by declan_swartz
His name is DJ Qualls and it would have been a lot better than the Scream doofus.
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You Ass-Clown. Shut the @#&* up. Guy Ritchie is a very talented and very proven film director. His movies rock. Okay, so he's only done 2 movies. But that's 2 great movies. 'Know how many film directors out there are still waiting for there first halfway decent film? A whole hell of a lot. I'd say 2 for 2 is pretty damn good. And how's running a sting operation on drug pushers to get out of debt with a crime lord the same plot (or the same movie) as chasing down a stolen diamond while running underground boxing matches?!?!? Yeah, I can see where you might of gone mixed up there. (?) 'Suppose they're both action flix. Oh, and that's right, 4 of the actors used are in both films. So, hey, on this last point, does this mean all the Coen brother films are all the same? How 'bout David Lynch's films, Sam Raimi's, Terry Gilliam's, Tim Burton's, and so on, and so on? All hacks? Get bent. Richie is an awesome director. Don't knock him until he actually makes a film that "doesn't" work! Right?!?!? (Apologies for having to get uptight with a lady. Usually not like that. I'm just so sick of people not giving Lock Stock or Snatch the credit they both deserve. They are 2 of the greatest, most original british films to come out in a long time. And they're damn fine films, internationally, on their own right as well. Also, I bloodie well love 'em.)
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Jul 20, 2001 12:37:35 PM CDT
If we really didn't want to read about the (admittedly frequentl
by mrbadexample
...wouldn't we go read reviews somewhere else? Not that I'm saying Harry et al don't owe us a great deference for allowing them to provide us with free, high-quality internet content on a daily basis. I mean, who do they think they are? I'm a big fan of pointless bitching and everything, but damn, kids...
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Jul 20, 2001 2:03:47 PM CDT
"Greedy Papa Smurf, mad with his own power...Will no leader go u
by cajun lightning
Harry is a curious creature. On his review for Kevin Smiths new flick he bashed the crap out of us talkbackers for ripping apart other people's work. I pointed out how little sense that made given his own behavior, and was promptly deleted. Now he calls this film a piece of "bloody stool." And the boy hasn't even seen it. Bloody stool is just gross enough to put most talkbackers to shame. I think Harry is going a bit mad with power. I'll endure his evil dictator like behavior however, cause this is still a fun place to hang out when I'm supposed to be working. As long as I'm not banned again for my insolence, that is. As for Scooby Doo, can't say I would be surprised if this thing crashed and burned. Very few cartoon to live action films pull it off. Ninja Turtles is the only success I can think of. And yes, I'm dead serious.
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Jul 20, 2001 2:09:14 PM CDT
And I would have gotten away with it too, if it hadn't been for
by rollo tomassi
I know we all have fond memories of the cartoon, but come on. Even as a little kid I felt like my intelligence was being insulted by seeing the same "mystery" week after week. It was always a low-quality production. What really is a mystery is why they keep making mediocre cartoons into movies, but keeping the writing on the level of the cartoon (don't tell me this script is worse. I can't possibly believe that untill I've seen the film). It's too bad, because I think there is some potential for a good comedy here, but let's not lose sight of the fact that "Scooby Doo" was always bad tv.
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Jul 20, 2001 2:15:02 PM CDT
It is painfully obvious what I must do: in order to save humani
by house of slurf
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I really don't have the choice of "if" I want to see Scooby Doo. Once my kid knows it's out there I will be obligated to take him and even if I somehow escape that hell, when it comes out on video I will get to watch it over and over and over and over again. Kind of like how I currently have to see the cartoon at least once a day! Oh God, there is no hope! ____A Doomed Bee
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Had someone dumped me off and STOLEN a bunch of my prize comic books, I'd have NEVER stopped killing them. I hope she's kidding, otherwise Harry's got some rather shitty people in his employ
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Jul 20, 2001 3:04:20 PM CDT
My GOD... BIG[]D[][]V[][]D... That was the longest damn post I
by mayhem ensues
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I've never laughed more or felt a greater need to see somebody's ideas on screen before. Thank you. Maybe if you could give ideas like that to Buffy, the show could be saved.
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This is only my opinion Guy Ritchie fans, you have been warned:- The guy is an extremely overrated Director who has produced absolute crap i.e. Lock Stock and Snatch which could be confused for being the same film. You mention that most directors are still waiting for their first decent film, I think that Mr Ritchie is still waiting for that. SEXY BEAST is the first film which Jonathan Glazer has directed and completely pisses all over both Lock Stock and Snatch. These 2 films are highly overrated and are responsible for most of the crap which has come out of Britain in the past couple of years. We had crap gangster film after crap gangster film released over and over in Britain, because they seen Lock Stock and thought that producing something so average as that would make their film a hit but the novelty wore off. The best gangster films come from the USA, these include MEAN STREETS, ONCE UPON A TIME IN AMERICA, GOODFELLAS, CASINO and of Course the 2 greatest masterpieces of cinema GODFATHER & GODFATHER II which are the greatest gangster films. Nevermind the great Cagney films, which have gone down as classics of cinema. Guy Ritchie couldnt even rub shoulders with these guys, he is a talentless hack who stroke lucky with Lock Stock. His direction is below average and I could name about 50 directors today easily who would be too good to piss on Mr Ritchie. Let him make a film which isnt about Quirky Cockney hows your father type wideboys and lets see his talent. Snatch wouldnt even be good enough for DAVID FINCHER or SCORCESE to use as toilet paper. Sorry to go on like this, but untalented people who get called talented really pisses me off. The guy is absolute shite and is one of the most overrated Directors of our time. Like I said this is my opinion and only mine, but in 5 years time the question will be - WHO DIRECTED SNATCH? and 90% of those asked will answer WHO KNOWS and WHO CARES.
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Now the only movies she is going to be getting a teen films or slasher flicks.
While at the same time Eliza Dushku seems to be rockting skyward with her career
And all this just to try to rescue her Boytoys failing career. -
Jul 21, 2001 5:35:49 AM CDT
I Have No Intention of Seeing This Movie Anyways But........
by rightwing dude
Things are really going to become INTERESTING around here when this movie is actually released!.
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this movie will be worse than josie and the pussycats and batman and robin combined in a stew of WB EDITED-to-HELL BATMAN BEYOND MOVIES. that is all I have to say. beware the G.N.L.S.
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Jul 21, 2001 8:50:09 PM CDT
What is this BULL SHIT!?! That's right. Bull shit. I am so sick
by theginger twit
Hey, don't get me wrong. i don't wor on the film I have no idea what will happen in it. i didn't even watch the origianl tv show because i thought it was crap. But all i ever get here is Scoobie doo this and that about how bad it is and how crap it will be. But does anyone say why? It has Freddie Prince Jr in it. Scoob doo is animated. To top it off, just now I read once again that is bad... then what. "I won't bore you with details.' You'll just bore us anyways. I think you guys are trying to make this film flop to get back at some one... or maybe in some kind of wierd ass experiment to see how powerful you all are. I say lets get a real review of the script. Non of this crap where we're all supposed to conform just because you all say so. Fuck you. You don't got some thing nice to say, say nothing. But if you've got the juice, then for gods sake. please enlighten us all.
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All you AICN folks should really just step back and take a breather. The film is just now in post production, and I think you'll all be pleasantly surprised. And Mister Knowles, I doubt we're going to get a fair review from you, even if you enjoy the film, so maybe you should just spend your afternoon with your BLAIR WITCH 2 DVD. Cause after all you "know a good movie when you see one" right? Just give it a chance, that's all I ask. While I have your attention, if any of you are free in a month, feel free to check out SUMMER CATCH! And I'm out...PEACE from LA.
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