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BOSSHOG Reviews CATWOMAN's Latest Draft!!

Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.

BOSSHOG's the man with his finger on the pulse of everything going on here in town. He contributes to this site a lot more than you realize. He's a great deep cover source, and today he's surfaced (just a bit) to share his impressions with you about Warner Bros' CATWOMAN project. Ashley Judd's still attached, and sounds like she'd be purrrrfect for it. This is the first review I know of for the latest draft of the thing, but be warned... there are some major spoilers here. Check it out...

I've just finished reading the Warner Bros.' script for CATWOMAN, and I thought I'd just post a summary and review. i don't know if anyone ver reviewed it but here you go:

Catwoman begins in the small town of Bristol with a 9-year-old girl, Patience and her mother Constance. Patience is playing with her kitten. Constance is an inventor who has invented an ionic chip that will make dishwashers more efficient. She is just about to go to her boss, Simon Greenaway Jr., and demand a portion of the profits from her invention.

Hours later, mysteriously, a police officer shows up to the little girl’s house saying that Constance had committed suicide. Devastated, the girl and her pet are sent to live with her aunt. A dirty evil stepmother type character that, of course, has tons of cats. When this disgusting aunt punishes Patience by locking her in the basement, it is the plethora of cats that comfort her. It is also made clear at this time that a current newspaper headline on reads : Gotham City’s Catwoman Confirmed Dead.

Jump forward 12 years, and Patience owns a small pet grooming store in the same small town that she runs with her best friend Sally. Difference is that the small town has been totally modernized and stripped of all its character by Simon Greenaway Jr.

Greenaway, a suffering germiphobe, has bought up much of the town and is modernizing and comforming everything to make the "perfect society." He, and his assistant/girlfriend Lily, are the villains of the story. It is made clear that Patience knows Greenaway stole the designs for the ionic dishwasher chip and made billions off of it, and she is vocal in her resentment. A reporter in her martial arts class, Gigi, gives her some information that leads her to Simon Greenaway’s office building in search of more answers. Patience is able to locate a file with her deceased mother’s name on it. As she starts to open the file, she is caught by a security guard and escorted out.

Later, at a town Halloween celebration thrown by Simon Greenaway, Patience encounters Detective Bill Lone, the male lead in the film. She gets flustered because she has a crush on him and only says a few words. She is, of course, wearing a cat Halloween costume picked out by her best friend.

Back at her apartment, a group of Greenaway’s thugs, prompted by their bosses viewing of the security camera tape, grab Patience and toss her off the roof in an attempt to kill her. Her pet cat, Spooky, as well as tons of other cats surround her in a familiar scene and "breathe life, as well as the spirit of Catwoman into her limp body. From there on she has cat-like senses and agility. She goes through the costume-making scenario with the latex, leather boots, and pet’s collars strung into a whip.

As Catwoman, Patience steals jewelry from many rich guests at a party and pawns the stolen goods. She gives the money to Ray, an old friend of her mother’s who helped look out for her as a child, and who was forced out of his job at the zoo, as well as his house by Greenaway buying the property and closing the zoo. This sets Catwoman up as a kind of Robin Hood. She also vandalizes the "perfect city" and leaves spraypaint calling for non-conformity in many different ways.

After several high action police chases and heists, Catwoman eventually comes face to face with Detective Lone, and there is a sexual attraction. This is starting to sound a bit familiar, but I will get to that later.

Catwoman breaks into the Greenaway offices again, this time avoiding the security cameras, but finds the file on her mother missing. She goes to Simon Greenaway’s office and in his safe, finds the file proving her mother’s invention as well as several vials of an undetermined liquid.

Patience meets with the Detective and gives him some information. Apparently the liquid in the vials is a chemical that, in lab tests, made rats sterile. She deduces that Greenaway intends to put this in the water supply of Bristol (he owns the Water tower). Eventually, Sally, the best friend realizes Patience is Catwoman and swipes the suit in order to use it to steal jewelry, and get some excitement in her life. There is a long action sequence when Patience must save her friend and confront the Detective that she has a crush on.

Through several events the cops realize, thanks to Patience, that Simon Greenaway is out to "cleanse" the city’s society and has committed several serious crimes in the process. At the same time Greenaway has put Ray, and his family in the empty Zoo and plans to leave them their when the bombs go off to level the property. Catwoman must defuse the bomb and save the day as well as catch the bad guy.

When the Detective catches up with Simon fighting with Catwoman, he overhears Simon confess to her of how he killed her mother and stole the plans for the ionic chip, as well as killed several other people. Simon is able to flee the cops, as is Catwoman. Catwoman talks Lily, Simon Greenaway’s girlfriend, into a change of heart, and she is the one that ends up killing her former boyfriend/boss by drowning him in the water tower.

Catwoman plunges, seemingly to her death, but Patience returns to the pet-grooming place to have her romance with the Detective. Happy ending as usual.

REVIEW:

Ok, let me start by saying that this script has a lot of potential. It also has some problems that any development exec should be able to iron out.

The first act is very good. All of the character establishment, as well as the events leading up to Patience becoming Catwoman are extremely entertaining and well written. Most of the problems arise in the dialogue that is spoken while Patience is in the Catwoman Costume. That isn’t to say there is not a lot of witty, very comic book-like jokes (i.e. "Pussy" jokes). The major problems are the similarities to Batman Returns. The relationship Patience and Detective Lone have is almost identical to the Michelle Pfeiffer/Michael Keaton exchanges in the film. Right down to the way they playfully talk to each other during every fight scene, and the slip of the tongue that reveals to him who Catwoman really is.

I guess if you can believe that a group of cats revived one woman who had fallen off a building and turned her into a cat-like superhero, it could happen again. There needs to be some changes made to get away from the similar occurrences this script share with the second Batman film.

On the other hand, there is also a lot of good in this script. One of the main themes is something that every pretty girl I know complains to me about. There is a lot of discussion of the pressure put on women today by the media in reference to the way they look. There is even a funny scene in which Catwoman, fleeing the police through an air duct, spots a young girl in the dressing room of a department store complaining about how round her ass is. Catwoman drops into the dressing room and gives her a lecture about it:

"One, your ass does look round. It's supposed to look round. If it didn't you would be a prepubescent boy. Two, in ancient Egypt, the Goddess of Fecundity had a nice big ass and she was worshipped. and Three, to quote the 1992 rap classic, 'Baby Got Back': 'My Anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns hon...."

Funny indeed... Basically the idea that women can be beautiful even if they don’t look like the models in magazines is a common thread in this script, and I believe this is an important point that is not usually emphasized in big budget Hollywood pictures. Also here is the idea to not let boyfriends ruin your life by constantly telling women that they are fat when they are really pretty as they are.

All in all, not an extraordinary script, but one with a lot of promise. If this is done correctly, it could be a cool comic book type film geared at an adult audience, with an important lesson to be learned about society.

Bossh0g

Readers Talkback
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  • July 12, 2001, 4:11 a.m. CST

    Va-Va -VOOM

    by Rowlf_the_Dog

    More tight leather suits please.

  • July 12, 2001, 4:34 a.m. CST

    Hmmm

    by CrapHole

    Is she going to be wearing that skin tight leather again!? Oh my goodness I sure hope so! Yippie! I can't get enough of that!

  • July 12, 2001, 5:17 a.m. CST

    thank you for telling me everything

    by dirty_dishes

    because if you didn't, I'd have wanted to see this piece of crap. The mother and daughter's names are Constance and Patience?? Virtues?? Totally pretentious. And what's with the dishwasher bit, she's gonna get offed because she has improved rinse and dry? And why is this monomaniac villian only trying to take over the town, and what town is this, Gotham or anywhere USA? Anyway it is way too much like BR for comfort. Don't mess with a classic behind the back. BTW, that dressing room scene is totally flawed. She's being chased by the cops, and she suddenly decides to drop down into a dressing room and tell a fat girl that she's okay, and by quoting the mysogynistic ass man himself. Makes me feel good. Go get her cops!! However Ashley Judd could be good for the role if the suit was ass-less.

  • July 12, 2001, 5:20 a.m. CST

    this has got to be a joke

    by JonQuixote

    No, seriously, this has got to be a joke.

  • July 12, 2001, 5:30 a.m. CST

    Okay, Just what happened here to basing this off the comics!!!..

    by Sith Witch

    This is pure drivel! Why is there a "new" Catwoman character??!! Even though Pfeiffer is not returning to the role for some screwed up reason, why not continue the adventures of Selena Kyle? Come on, it worked with the Clarice Starling character in Hannibal. Aaaahhh!! And there are no Gotham villains for her to fight?! Why does this not even take place in Gotham?? This is the worst news about a property I have seen in a long time...

  • July 12, 2001, 5:42 a.m. CST

    lame beyond words

    by joe-riddick

    ok, Ashley judd is hot, but not even her looks can carry off such a lame plot as this one. I love Batman, as well as the films, but have always hated how they re-wrote everyone's story. i.e.-the Joker killing Bruce Wayne's parents in the first movie, and the Penguin being some mutant in the sewers. Next to Batgirl, this is the worst re-write of any character. Look, the comics have worked for a long time..just for once, humor us and follow them a bit!!!! The only thing that would save this movie, besides re-writing the entire thing, is having Vin Diesel as the villian..he can save any movie

  • July 12, 2001, 5:43 a.m. CST

    How hard will this blow?!

    by bnjacobs

    I'm going to close the hurricane shutters and prepare for a catagory 5 windstorm. This isn't "lifting" references... it's lazy storytelling in an effort to cash in on our memories of Michelle and that bullwhip! I'd rather have seen them tie up the loose ends left by Batman 2. Don't get me wrong... Ashley's hot... and I wouldn't mind seeing her in tight latex... but this is a mistake in the making.

  • July 12, 2001, 5:55 a.m. CST

    naaaaaaaaaay

    by crazychipmunk

    Please!!! I'm so sick of movies that have the message, "It doesn't matter what you look like....it's what's inside that matters" delivered by people you would kill to look like. It makes me sick! Arghhhhh! e.g....never been kissed

  • July 12, 2001, 6:02 a.m. CST

    why doesn't she work for a dishwasher company..

    by dirty_dishes

    ...like Maytag? It says that her boss is Simon Greenaway, Jr., but what does he have to do with appliances? It just says that he owns the water tower, and he wants to make the town sterile, FOR WHAT PURPOSE? So that he can be the father to everyone in the town? Sounds like an inferiority complex to me. And in the end his girlfriend drowns him in the tower, I think? That's comeuppance I guess. What the Hell am I doing, analyzing something that is never going to see the light of day? Fuck this!

  • July 12, 2001, 6:11 a.m. CST

    If Ashley Judd HAD an ass...

    by SweetSyl

    ....THEN she could tell a fat girl that she should be satisfied with hers. And if this god-awful sounding movie gets made, please take out that dishwasher thing and replace it with a more interesting sounding invention. Geez.

  • July 12, 2001, 6:39 a.m. CST

    This makes Scooby-Doo sound like Citizen Kane

    by Son Of Batboy

    Oh man, I haven't laughed this hard since my trip to the dentist. Ionic dishwasher? What the hell kinda lame-ass villain is this, the Maytag repairman? That dressing room scene has got to be one of the most painfully bad pieces of writing since the years of ABC afterschool specials. I don't know how many times I groaned my way through this one. Just when I thought Schumacher had done the most damage anyone could possibly ever do to the Batman franchise comes this chunky pile of manure to add further insult.

  • July 12, 2001, 6:45 a.m. CST

    Bug on Steel II...oh I mean Catwoman

    by Ambush Bug

    The funniest thing I read from the story above is that Ashley Judd is going to try to pass as a 21 year old. Bwa-ha! Anyway, Catwoman doesn't deserve a movie on her own. She doesn't deserve her own comic. Catwoman is at best a good foil for Batman stories. This has all the makings of a Steel film. In fact let's restructure the plot, where Shaq develops a computer chip for a dishwasher and Arnold Schwartzeneggar takes him "to dee cleenahs!" so Ashley vows to bring him to justice and uphold Dishwasher dignity everywhere. I smell Oscar!!! Or maybe that's just uncleaned litterbox. And let's make the script all hip and stuff by quoting a rap song from twn years ago. That'll get the kiddies in the seats. Put the money behind this turkey into a good Superman or Batman flick. Make a Green Lantern/Green Arrow buddy movie. Hell, give Ragman his own pick. Anything would be better than the story above.

  • July 12, 2001, 6:55 a.m. CST

    Can someone please identify today's Harry animation? I do not re

    by Sith Witch

  • July 12, 2001, 7:13 a.m. CST

    dishwashers? DISHWASHERS?

    by RikBlade

    ok, give me a minute to relieve myself from the stupidity of the IONIC chip that makes dishwashers better. Who wrote that script?

  • July 12, 2001, 7:19 a.m. CST

    Garbage, pure fucking garbage...

    by kmart23

    Do people who actually like comic books ever get around to making the movies based on them? Do people who make these "films" ever bother to read the comic books? If you like the book and the character, why must you always alter and kill it? If you like the character, do the MOTHERFUCKING CHARACTER. Secondly, whoever the fuck this idiot is who reviewed this piece of shit, he doesn't get the fact that all that feminist bullshit is coming from a woman who looks like a walking comic book chick. "You're beautiful just the way you are" speeches aren't fucking convincing when they're coming out of a ridiculously hot actress' mouth. Garbage, pure fucking garbage.

  • July 12, 2001, 7:31 a.m. CST

    This should be made with Burton and Pfeiffer!

    by BatsyReturns

    Batman Returns was brilliant opera, dammit. And Michelle was a great Catwoman. The best thing that could have happened with this project was a teaming of Burton in the director's chair with Pfeiffer as the Cat. This movie is going to be a disaster with Ashley Judd.

  • July 12, 2001, 7:40 a.m. CST

    Call It Kitty Litter

    by Sam Bones

    From the description of the script's plot and characters it is obvious the writer knows absolutely NOTHING about Catwoman nor the Batman mythos. Catwoman lecturing a young girl about her "round ass" harkens back to the days of the "camp" Batman TV show (and the god awful early drafts of the Batman movie scripts before Sam Hamn came along). Sure, it may be "funny" but it's that sort of "cutesy" Hollywood social agenda crap that always screws up and gets in the way of doing what is supposed to be an honest telling of a superhero (or heroine) yarn. I'm not saying that you can't have social commentary or employ political satire in such a story but you do NOT have to hang a huge neon arrow flashing at such a scene with a bullhorn blaring, "HERE'S WHERE WE MAKE A MAJOR STAND AGAINST THE MEDIA AND THEIR MANIPULATION OF A YOUNG GIRL'S SELF IMAGE ABOUT HER ASS!" (and all while exploiting a woman's ass in a tight Catwoman outfit). If the writer on this project has to employ such a trite lecture to make a point (while slowing down the action and movement of the story) it's clear this project is being bungled in the usual industry manner. I hold out no hope for it being a rousing movie adventure with a strong resourceful woman that's based on one of mainstream comic's most interesting characters. Bob Kane would prostitute himself for this sort of thing gladly (as long as he got his picture in the papers) but Batman comic book writers Denny O'Neil, Englehart and Frank Miller would be disgusted. Please, God. Let Paul Dini write one live action Batman script and show the suits at Warner how it's done.

  • July 12, 2001, 7:44 a.m. CST

    Hey 16:9

    by kmart23

    Last I checked, the word was spelled h-E-a-r-t-s. Just a little advice for someone who misses the irony of calling people geeks while being geeky enough to use their forum to do it. Fuck off.

  • July 12, 2001, 8:12 a.m. CST

    This script is shite, boyos

    by Hud

    The stout lads at IGN reviewed this abomination MONTHS ago and rightly spit on it and its unholy maker. Seriously, this mother will never see the light of day. If I unnerstan, it was "written" by two women who were pushing the female empowerment angle. It ain't gonna happen. Don't producers just solicit scripts like this to look busy? No need for high dudgeon, men. We'll get the fetish-queen dominatrix Catwoman we all want. Is Harold's animation from The Matrix? If so, it's wack.

  • July 12, 2001, 8:15 a.m. CST

    I thought her name is Selina Kyle?

    by Junior D-Girl

    What happened to that name? As for Ashley Judd she'll be good but throw in Batgirl too then this movie will really kick some male butt! :)

  • July 12, 2001, 8:20 a.m. CST

    weep children for there is no god...

    by bitrott

    Ok let's get this out of the way - BossHog, you are a blithering moron. Anyone who can't see this movie for the steaming pile of shit that it is, must be suffocatingly dense. This is the second time we've heard about this cunt of a film, and still Harry's not dug up word on whether this is a joke, a bad old script still lying around, or a travesty waiting to happen. I'll be the first bat-fan to admit that a Catwoman film wouldn't have an enormous built in market. But for the sake of 50+ years of back story and the blood, sweat, and tears spilt over this character by artists, writers, and fans alike, don't let this script see the light of day. It's not funny, original, plausible, or remotely entertaining. DC employees should have a walk-out strike to prevent this film from being made and fans should demand that they be given every copy of this script so that a proper, clergy led cleansing can be held. Please Harry, for the love of comics and comic properties DO SOMETHING!!!!!

  • July 12, 2001, 8:33 a.m. CST

    The reviewer is an idiot.. this sounds like an episode of fuckin

    by Acid_Rain327

    They've taken a great character, and turned it into a cutesy, up-beat message for 13 year old girls. And they did it BADLY.

  • July 12, 2001, 8:56 a.m. CST

    What???

    by Dark Knight Lite

    Is this a joke? If not, then Hollywood has lost its collective mind. What happened to Selina Kyle? Don't they realize that the farther these screenplays stray from their source material, the more they SUCK? Dishwashers? Ass-jokes? Patience? BULLSHIT!!!

  • July 12, 2001, 9:04 a.m. CST

    Please put her in leather, not latex

    by calvin hobbes

    This may seem minor, considering how bad the script sounds, but I hope she wears a traditional simple leather catsuit like the original instead of latex, pvc, or any of that other crap. And please, none of that stupid stitching that Tim Burton included. If it ain't broke, Hollywood will break it.

  • July 12, 2001, 9:19 a.m. CST

    This script...

    by DrAziz

    I also read this script, and didn't think it was good at all. A lot of problems, and actually rather dull -- definitely not befitting the Catwoman character we all know and love. Ashley Judd will be hot in that cat suit though...so when I think about it...I almost don't care what story is associated with it (if it sucks, have the projectionist turn the sound off) as long as we get Ashley prancing around for 100 minutes in shiny latex....hmmm...what fun.

  • July 12, 2001, 9:59 a.m. CST

    Um, Catwoman or Poetic Justice?

    by Unnatural

    First off the names suck! Patience and Constance? Who wrote this script? 8th grade creative writing class? Reminds me of Poetic Justics -- which I have spent years trying to purge from my memory. Secondly, what is with major franchises forgetting about orgins. First the Star Trek Enterprise abomination (not that Trek is a big loss) and now the Batman franchise being raped! Fucking Hollywood. No new ideas and fucking up the ones they do rehash. There had better be nudity or this movie is on my AVOID list. Sigh...I...Just...Want...One....Good...Summer...MOVIE! Unnatural

  • July 12, 2001, 10:22 a.m. CST

    "APRIL FOOLS, MUTHAF*CKAZ!"

    by Wesley Snipes

    Or at least that's what I hope Mori adds to this page soon. Geezus, I'm still not convinced that this reviewer is serious. How could anyone think these ideas sound good!? Maybe Bosshog was the exec who greenlit "Batman & Robin". That would explain a lot. Otherwise, this sounds like utter trash. Archie comics with action scenes and an achingly unhip attempt to be hip.

  • July 12, 2001, 10:27 a.m. CST

    This is old news... and it's still crap.

    by DeadElvis

    Didn't we already get a review of this draft? And it sucked ass back then too. Reminds of the old Batman tv series. Good lord, this script is just full of example after example on what is wrong with Hollywood. Perhaps treatments like these should only be used to teach young writers what NOT to do. I say get the movie Catwoman to be more like her character in "Batman: Year One"... more of gritty street feel, it would be a perfect compliment to the Arronofsky Batman. Baby got back? I feel ill.

  • July 12, 2001, 10:31 a.m. CST

    Seems like what they're trying to do here is...

    by Kent Allard

    Create a female version of The Crow franchise. With various women being "killed" and resurrected by the "spirit of the cats." Blech! Please, WB, you guys just CAN'T be this dense, can you? Keep this thing in permanent development hell until you can finally give it to a writer that will take it back to basics. Hell, give it to me -- I'll take a shot at it!

  • July 12, 2001, 10:44 a.m. CST

    The Gorgeous Blonde...

    by Elliot_Kane

    with the supermodel looks dressed in skintight leather is giving lectures on how unimportant looks are?!? And throughout the whole film, looks being unimportant is a major theme? This is a joke, right? Of course they're not going to promote the film with pictures of Ashley in the skintight costume either are they? Looks being so unimportant... How stupid are these scriptwriters? How stupid do they think WE are? *** Totally re-inventing the character of Catwoman is OK (like any other superhero) IF - and only IF - they have a good reason to do so and a great script. *** Unless this film is going to be funded by a washing machine manufacturing company I think perhaps CW's mother should invent something a little more interesting... *** Bristol is a major city in England, but I get the impression it is not the place mentioned in Boss Hog's review. Is there a Bristol in the USA? Boss Hog, can you clarify this please?

  • July 12, 2001, 10:58 a.m. CST

    Geez...

    by superninja

    It sounds terrible. You can't have Catwoman without the grim city of Gotham. Why don't they just focus on a bad girl trying to go good, who no one trusts because of her past and the few people that do? Her inner conflict, maybe even a hint of a psychological need to steal, and what that is (other than just to get rich, obviously). She could go up against the mob.

  • July 12, 2001, 11:35 a.m. CST

    Who wrote this shit? Dishwashers?? Patience??

    by SilentBob X

    First off, if you're going to make a comic book character, at least have the decency to use their original names. I mean, Schumacher fucked that up when he didn't use Barbara Gordon's name for Batgirl in his neon colored turd, Batman and Robin. I mean, Patience? Who wrote that? What the FUCK is wrong with Selina Kyle? It's like changing Clark Kent's name to Biff Buffington, or Bruce Wayne to Richard Simmons. And what about the insipidly absurd plot point about dishwasher chips? Dishwasher chips?? Come on, I know that Hollywood can't exactly copy the book verbatim to the big screen, but at least don't insult the readers. We deserve better than this. Put some fucking effort into the script, don't just hammer out something and assume we'll swallow it without looking. Look, I've said ever since 92 that a Catwoman movie would make alot of money at the box office. Catwoman was hotter than Batman in Batman Returns, and fans loved Pfeiffer's interpretation. It's a shame that noone in Hollywood seems to care about being faithful to the comic and its creators anymore. They just crank the shit out, and don't think twice. Get someone with intelligence to write the script. Dishwasher chips, indeed. Snoogans.

  • July 12, 2001, 11:45 a.m. CST

    If it's not Selina Kyle then it's NOT Catwoman.

    by Blok Narpin

    Ashly Judd is ok casting I guess, but if they don't intend to make Selina Kyle Catwoman, then they shouldn't be DOING Catwoman.

  • July 12, 2001, 11:48 a.m. CST

    Branded?

    by MajorKong

    Though this plot description does sound like a joke, I've read other reviews of the script mentioning the same plot elements. The only explanation I can come up with is that WB is trying to come up with a "weird and quirky" feature, a la *Buffy* or the WB's upcoming *Smallville*. They're basically just using the Catwoman "brand". However, the story doesn't sound quirky, it sounds stupid. Why do writers/producers who obviously don't care about, or even like, comic books work to make them into movies? It's a shame. At least, after reading this, Raimi's decision to go with "organic" webshooters in the Spidey flick seems like, at worst, a minor trespass.

  • July 12, 2001, 11:57 a.m. CST

    bristol

    by dirty_dishes

    Bristol is in Connecticut, New England. It lies near an estuary of the Farmington River and is about 20 miles southwest of Hartford. It is part of the area called the Connecticut Valley Lowlands. ESPN studios are housed there. The average January temeratures for the surrounding area are 24 to 26 degrees Fahrenheit. The average July temperatures are 73 to 74 degrees Fahrenheit. The average yearly precipitation is more than 48 inches. By the way, I've never heard of it before.

  • July 12, 2001, 12:12 p.m. CST

    a kiss can be even deadlier if u mean it....

    by Varakor

    Ohk without the connection to Selena Kyle, gotham, batman, or any of the characters involved in the Bat/Cat/DC universe, this will be garbage. Ashley Judd was a great idea, so what Michelle Pfeffier isn't returning, Judd is just as HOT if not HOTTER than michelle. the execs should Put the script back on the burner and come up with something that rings closer to what happened to Selena Kyle after her escapades in Batman Returns. I mean my god the character has already been introduced, why not go from their?

  • July 12, 2001, 12:40 p.m. CST

    did I read right?

    by Ard-Rian

    Have these people even read a comic book in their lives? I know you need to take some liberties when changing a story to a different medium, but you don't just take the name and scrap everything else. This piece of crap isn't even set in Gotham for God's sake. Her name is Selena Kyle. The best treatment would be based on Batman: Year One. If this abomination actually gets made, this comics fan will not be in the seat.

  • July 12, 2001, 1:10 p.m. CST

    This sounds HORRIBLE!!!

    by Psyclops

    I usually don't pass judgement on something this early into the development stage... but this just sounds like a bad idea! Where is Selena Kyle? Why is this story so similar to 'Batman Returns'... complete with a Max Shrek rip-off and a familiar resurrection scene?!? Why did the writer choose to go the 'Dark Angel' route in terms of dialogue? How could anyone think that they could place Catwoman anywhere but Gotham? Where does Batman fit into all of this? What is with this "dishwasher" nonsense? ...AARRGGHHH!!!!... Ya know... I thought the idea of a 'Catwoman' movie starring Ashley Judd was the promise of a great franchise... But this sounds like something Joel Schumacher would do.

  • July 12, 2001, 1:26 p.m. CST

    This is horrible.

    by Fuzrum

    It's amazing to me what Hollywood can do to a character. This is just plain stupid. For goodness sake, don't re-write a very established, interesting character. Guess who made the character interesting? The original creator. Guess WHY she's interesting? Because of the way she is in the comics. These Hollywood losers just think they can come along and rape an idea and tease it up however they want and make money. Not my money.

  • July 12, 2001, 1:43 p.m. CST

    Any catch the play on Greenaway?

    by Redbeard_NV

    As in the production company that produced the old '60's Batman TV series. BTW, Harry's animation is the conclusion of the tracking sequence in The Matrix. Oh yes, KILL ANYBODY WHO IS CONNECTED WITH THIS PIECE OF TRASH BEFORE IT GETS FILMED (Except Ashley Judd, of course)!

  • July 12, 2001, 2:27 p.m. CST

    IT'S CHANGED

    by Gigolo Joe

    This reviewer has an old draft. In my draft (5/30/01), the storyline has changed considerably, though not necessarily for the better. Simon Greenaway has been renamed Sexton Blake and, rather than stealing an ionic chip from Patience's mother, he killed her to get a bio-genetic formula and has altered it (this is now what he plans to put it into the water supply). It doesn't make people sterile so much as it turns them into zombies, albeit genetically flawless ones (Blake is on a perfection kick). The zoo element has been cut out almost entirely. And instead of throwing Patience off a roof, the thugs now chain her up and throw her off of a bridge into a river, where she drowns. In an unintentionally funny scene, dozens of cats meow in unison and bring her back to life; she escapes from her bonds, climbs out of the river, and meows along with the cats. Yikes. This draft is a slight improvement over the one reviewed, which isn't nearly as good as Bosshog claims. Warner Bros. clearly wants to appeal more to teenage girls than to genre fans.

  • July 12, 2001, 2:43 p.m. CST

    Thanks dirty_dishes...

    by Elliot_Kane

    for the info on Bristol, USA. I appreciate it.

  • July 12, 2001, 2:51 p.m. CST

    Why God?

    by zelig30

    First off, yes, I am comic fanboy. But, I also make movies in Hollywood. When I read something like this, first I choke back the bile. Then I calmly think about what they've done. Not this time. The bile came out and has not stopped. It has already been reiterated by many people about how stupid this movie is. But let's think about the people behind it. These are the same people who've ruined every comic book they've ever touched. I hated Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman, I can't stand Ashley Judd as an (I use the term loosely) actress. I don't even think she's that attractive, and I'm a walking woody. Anyhoo, I digress, the only way these people might actually learn, is if people don't go see the movie. Remember, in their eyes a movie is only good if it makes money. Therefor 'Batman and Robin' was considered good, and so were all the rest. So, I beg of you, don't go see it. Tell your friends not to go. Plus, to all those jerkoffs who say, 'I just went for Ashley Judd' or 'I just wanted to see something brainless', Tell 'em to go look in a mirror. 'If the movie stinks, just don't go!!'

  • July 12, 2001, 3:32 p.m. CST

    Possibly the worst script ever written.

    by Ivan_Mtl

    I don't know what is harder to believe - somebody actually being paid for coming up with that storyline, or somebody seriously considering filming it?

  • July 12, 2001, 5:05 p.m. CST

    GOD-AWFUL

    by X-Girls

    Jesus Christ! Tell me this was a huge joke! It's not April!

  • July 12, 2001, 5:41 p.m. CST

    have we learned NOTHING?

    by tommy5tone

    the script is the foundation, the blueprint - it's where everything else springs from. if it's a piece of shit - as this 'catwoman' screenplay so obviously is - you're fucked from the get-go. we can all agree that ashley judd's a good choice, but dishwasher intrigue? a small town setting for a superhero flick? reassuring young tubbies that their curves are just bitchin'? why the fuck is this even called 'catwoman'? it doesn't even need the character! there's a revolution coming, i tells ya. the studio system that gives the green light to crap like this is gonna burn.

  • July 12, 2001, 6:30 p.m. CST

    I Like Ashley Judd's Pussy

    by GornPirate

    I do. Really do.

  • July 12, 2001, 6:34 p.m. CST

    Josie and the Pussycats!...

    by expendable48

    We've got tails and ears for hats! If it's gonna suck this much, they should at least put a musical number in it.

  • July 12, 2001, 6:51 p.m. CST

    Deep Six This

    by Evil Muffin

    Terrible idea for a new film and a complete rip-off of the earlier Batman film. If I were Ms. Judd, I would runaway from this project asap. I know super-heroes and super-villains are the current flavor of the month, and Hollywood is probably desperately trying to develop a female character driven franchise to get the teenage girls to buy lots of tickets, but this isn't the answer. The best female character for a possible movie franchise is "Death" from the Sandman books. I'm not sure why the Hollywood Brainiacs haven't considered this one yet. Death is a very unique and modern take on the subject; nothing like that has ever been done before. This storyline would not only appeal to teenagers but also to the much coveted 24-40 yearolds. "Death", if done right, would have half the females and ALL of the males on this planet drooling in anticipation and waiting with their wallets in hand. Laura Croft is nothing when compared to the depth, coolness, imagination and overall possibilities of "Death". Approach Mr. Gaimen to do the screenplay and sit back while the millions roll in. Just don't plan on selling any "Death" Happy Meals. Keep it mature and smart, not dumbed down to the lowest common denominator.

  • July 12, 2001, 7:19 p.m. CST

    SHIT!

    by Gilbert

    Seriously, we already have "Batman Returns" We don't need a remake that sucks. Why are the people who own the Batman movie franchise so determined to ass rape it? At least I still have the animated movies and series. Until they fuck that up too. They've had some damn cool writers on that show, and Kevin Conroy is the coolest Batman ever (Well, besides Adam West). Quite better than Keaton. Now this new Catwoman movie doesn't even take place in Gotham? Where's the supervillains? Where's the swinging from rooftop to rooftop on whips and batropes? Where's the depression we saw a bit of in "Year One" or the loss and sadness in "Dark Knight Returns"? Why isn't Michelle Pheiffer in it? Oh well, I suppose I won't be happy until Bruce Timm up and makes a live action "Dark Knight Returns" with Clint Eastwood and Sam Elliot as Gordon. I'd just like to say that because of how I feel about Bats, the new movies are like what Harry said about "Night of the Living Dead 30th Anniversary", it's like seeing a close family member being savagely raped.

  • July 12, 2001, 8:59 p.m. CST

    kitty litter

    by jeff bailey

    Right. Yeah. Whatever. God, How about that horrific, unsubtle, overwritten piece of dialouge at the end. Why doesn't she just walk past that on a neon sign filled with exclamation points? Female body image is actually sort of an interesting theme to work into a movie but that AIN'T the way to do it. And Ashley Judd...grrr. The most obnoxious, pretentious, self concious personality in the movies. She isn't THAT hot. She isn't even really that good of an actress. Anyway, I'm gonna keep asking on these script reviews if anyone knows any sites I can buy screenplays at, you know, like the unproduced kind. There used to be some cool ones but they have disappeared. For those that bothers, I'm sorry. For those who can help, thanks.

  • July 12, 2001, 9:28 p.m. CST

    "Very Comic Book Like Jokes"? Bosshog, Y'all're Gonna Talk That

    by Buzz Maverik

    You have a lot of comic book readers here, pal (because these days most comics are better than most movies). So, c'mon, let's here about your extensive CASPER collection and how you have every issue of ARCHIE ever printed. And I'll bet you love THE DARK KNIGHT, right (cause you've heard of that one and if you mention it, it'll sound like you know what you're talking about. Even Schumacher knows to give props to THE DARK KNGIHT).

  • July 12, 2001, 10:14 p.m. CST

    this is such crap. ashley judd is an ugly hairy bitch!

    by yeah i'm a jerk!

    i hate ashley judd. i don't wanna see a catwoman movie that doesn't have anything to do with batman and dc comics. i hate the way time/warner/aol is screwing the dc comics fans. i will not see this travesty. i am drunk and typing away. have fun kids.

  • July 12, 2001, 11:33 p.m. CST

    licked back to life

    by buster00

    For all the many shortcomings of "Batman Returns," that's gotta be the one that stuck out the most. Were we to believe that Ms. Kyle was thrown X amount of stories to her DEATH and REVIVED by...sandpapery cats' tongues? Wha...? And the odds of that happening TWICE are...? Hey, there's also a Bristol, Tennessee. Given Ashley Judd's roots, maybe "Paticence" (wha...?) is gonna be a hollerin', hootin', boot-scootin' kinda mama. "Urban Catwoman." With a plaid flannel cat costume and a riding crop. It couldn't possibly be any worse than this twelve-ton piece of walrus shit. GOTTA be either a hoax or a hallucination.

  • July 13, 2001, 1:38 a.m. CST

    Jennifer Lopez in latex?!?

    by studduck

    They don't make enough latex for that! Have you seen the wagon she's draggin'?