JAY & SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK review

Many have been asking for where my A.I. review is… Well frankly, I haven’t seen it yet, I’m seeing it tonight. I’ve just returned from Los Angeles where I was shooting something very cool, I promise, but I’m not saying right now because I’m an evil bastard. But it required me to join a Union and work a quarter ounce of my obese ass off (which Kitten will enjoy I’m sure). But whilst in Los Angeles I saw only 2 films… I only had room for two. And while I’ve been dying to see A.I., I can see that here in Austin tonight, whereas I could not see… JAY & SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK or JEEPERS CREEPERS here tonight! So I picked those two.

I will write my review for A.I. as soon as I return from the late night screening tonight, and despite being surrounded by negativity towards that film for the past week, I am going in with as open a mind as I possibly can. And hope to disagree with Moriarty fiercely. We’ll see.

HOWEVER, enough of that… Time to talk about a View Askew production…

God Bless Kevin Smith!

Kevin Smith has shot the greatest slap in the face of TALK BACK ASSHOLES ever on the face of planet Earth.

It is literally a movie dedicated to the eradication to those spineless bastages that find the need to piss on everything simply because their mommies aren’t watching over their diapered asses!

I have no idea how this film will play to anyone offline… but if you’ve ever been a victim of TALK BACK…. Or some variant there of… well then, you will cheer like a monkey in a Banana Republic.

What is the film about?

Shutting Talkbackers up.

That’s it. That is what the film is about.

You see, when Talk Backers get to ranting on someone like Kevin Smith or Paul Thomas Anderson or Gary Coleman… they think, "Fuck them man, hahahaa, I just typed Fuck them man!!! Hahahaha!"

And they never really think that the person they are taking a dump on is out there reading what they are saying. And if they do, it’s like pissing on a fire hydrant that kids are dancing in the shower from… just… an uncool act of a demented ass.

And Kevin Smith has obviously read way too many talk backs and way too many posts on the View Askew boards and while he doesn’t have the therapeutic ability to just click and ban assholes for ruining his day, he did manage to get the ability to depict these little dipshits as being the insensitive little twerps that they are, so that the entire movie going public can laugh at these shits.

Now the biggest flaw in the film is that it doesn’t take the time to depict the many super genii that hang out in Talk Back and contribute to the betterment of mankind through intelligent and insightful prose.

But then, they aren’t funny. The dipshits are.

I couldn’t stop laughing at this film. This movie is a hugely childish thumb to nose and wave at them while sticking out his tongue.

The film is fall down funny. Now technically it might have tons of flaws, but I didn’t notice because I was so giggly over the concept that Kevin Smith has made a movie to MOON Internet Talk Backers that have talked shit about him. That’s just beautiful. It is pure.

Chaplin made THE GREAT DICTATOR to make the world see Hitler for what he was…. And Kevin Smith made JAY & SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK to make people realize that those little internet flame whores out there are very much the logs of excrement that we all know them to be.

Now… How funny is the movie itself?

VERY.

I like CLERKS… I love CHASING AMY… but I still have never seen MALLRATS or DOGMA. I’ve been waiting to buy that special edition DOGMA dvd forever. And I don’t know why I’ve never seen MALLRATS… I guess it was because I never saw it in theaters and I never rent videos or dvds…

And while CHASING AMY is still the film of Kevin’s that I’ve seen that I feel is the best all around movie…

I love JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK best. It is like a Mad Magazine humor adventure at full blown R-rating hell.

This feels like Kevin getting all of his most favorite juvenile urges out and on screen in one big whoopee cushion and shock ring thing.

If nothing else watching Ben Affleck and Matt Damon filming the sequel to GOOD WILL HUNTING… well it is enough to make me sit through the film again.

And Mewes…. Who the fuck knew? Dear God, the boy is a damn God in the film. He rules. Having Jay take centerstage for the entire film at first sounds like it could possibly be way bad, but folks… JAY rules in this flick. And I could tell… Kevin was so all about going down on Jay. You’ll see.

The cameos… well I didn’t ‘get’ all of them, but the ones I did get… I loved. And George Carlin’s cameo is genius. I’ll never look at a hitchhiker the same again.

The book of the road.

Oh man. Must be seen.

And then there is the BRILLIANT CAMEO by Paul Dini! OHMYGOD! First off, as anyone who bought the BATMAN BEYOND: RETURN OF THE JOKER published screenplay can attest… Paul Dini is the sexiest man alive. And when he hit the screen, women and Moriarty fainted after a BEATLE-esque scream that is.

Dini commands the screen and we hinge on every word he says. I just can’t believe that they let him… well do that onscreen. I didn’t know that was legal.

The ‘Paul Dini’ scene may get the film banned in Oklahoma, but everywhere else… people will cheer. I just hope it somehow doesn’t get cut. But… whew…

Also, this may very well be the first time that the internet film community has been fairly accurately depicted… at least the lower evil sector of it.

Kevin Smith… You Rule! Way to go!

Oh yeah, and Eliza Dushku… You are SEX! I mean just hot as hell yum yum eatumup yum SEX in this movie! And Shannon Elizabeth? I agree with Jay’s 42 ounce Big Gulp cup hanger! And Ali Larter and Jennifer Schwalbach Smith? Also Yumalicious! And all 4 in their coming out scene? WOWZERSTANDING! Yup, that’s right… Fanboy dreams on screen and knowing it.

This movie ruled!

P.S. To you people in Talk Back that can not read and comprehend. I am not insulting TALK BACKERS.... I'm insulting that percentage of whiny bitches that do nothing in Talk Back but shit upon any and everything. You know who you are. There are many very cool Talk Backers... the ones that post intelligent and well written pieces, informed opinions and thought out expressions. Unfortunately there is that otherside of Talk Back which, while causing great laughter, also hurts some people's feelings. Believe me, I can take any and all shots at me... However, there are quite a few directors, writers, producers and even writers on this site that hate and can't stand the "Talk Back Assholes" (official term for the whiny bitches) And when you see JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK, you'll know what I mean.