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Our spy reports in from a COLLATERAL DAMAGE test screening in Glendale
They call me Skulboy and I e-mailed you once before after seeing you on a panel at the San Diego Comic Con last year.
I know I signed some type of agreement, but what the hell. I also lied and said I didn't work in the Motion Picture Industry (I'm in set construction) when I saw Arnold's name on the clipboard of the woman handing out the passes so I guess I'm damned anyways.
Being a Arnold fan and finding myself rather disappointed with his (at least) last two efforts, I said to myself "here we go again" after reading the Collateral Damage description - man loses wife and son in terrorist bombing and takes justice into in own hands - kind of thing.
I went in expecting Commando, but got something much different. Now Collateral Damage is not a great film, but it was WAY better than 6th Day.
Arnie comes off as an average guy/fireman who is totally crushed by the death of his family. Although a large group of gunmen can't hit him with automatic rifles and he can still out run an explosion, the character feels like a Harrison Ford part. It should be noted that the Director is Andy Davis who was behind The Fugitive. And Arnold's acting was many steps above his 6th Day family guy.
Arnie gets himself into Columbia to hunt down the rebel dude that blew up his wife and kid and the movie moves pretty well from that point on.
What really stood out was not what Arnold does, but what he doesn't do. Not once does he fire off a snappy, groan inducing, post death one liner. And get this... ARNOLD DOES NOT TOUCH A SINGLE GUN OR RIFLE THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE FILM.
The movie is played completely straight and has a few welcome bit parts from John Turturro and John Leguizamo. Also because of Arnie's character's background as a Fireman, he rigs up some nifty stuff McGuyver style.
The only unintentional moment of crowd laughter came as Arnold confronts some Columbia street punks by getting into their faces and loudly saying "Que pasa?! Which was pretty damn funny.
I don't think this movie is going to light the world on fire, but its definitely the right direction for Arnold now that he's getting older.
Now if he would just make that damn Omega Man-type film...
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Arnie doesn't shoot any guns?!? All I want to know is, how is ABKing going to spin this as an awesome turn of events?
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You know how all the old-timers and reporters are saying the "old-school" 80s-style over-the-top action movies are dead? They brought it on themselves. Big stupid action thrillers were still packing them in years after journalists proclaimed those types of films as dead. Then the stars began to believe it, turning out watered-down, PG shit which was what actually killed their careers. I'm telling you right now: Arnie, in an R-rated, wall-to-wall kick-ass flick with a top-shelf director (or at least competent Martin Campbell, Phil Noyce types who know the dynamics of action and how to ratchet up tension) will get you $100 million, no problem. If Seagal can produce his second-highest (maybe highest) grossing film ever just by going back to his old brutal R-rated ways, what do you think Arnie could do? Stallone, I dunno.
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I Am Legend adaptation is one of those dead projects I'll mourn forever. Along with Cronenberg's Basic Instinct 2, Cunningham's Neuromancer, and Burton's Superman. The best stuff never gets made.
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It's just not right. Arnie ALWAYS have to have a gun in his movies. He MUST say one liners and must take on a whole army by himself. Those are the essence that made Arnie a real action hero. What Arnie needs to do, since none of the A-list directors want to work with him, is to hook up with Chuck Russell again for another Eraser-like flick, cause Eraser was his last quintessential celebration of what his movies are all about.
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But anyway, this is still one of those I'm going to wait till it's on TV.
Does anyone ever read these? -
Wow! Okay I
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Zo vat if all ob my moobies since TUHROO LISCH socked asch lige a muttefockah. Zo vat if dey vere so bat dat eben I didn't schee dem foah free! Hey, did you schmartenheimahs see in PREMIEAH vhere scheveral of mein female co-stahs wrote in defendink me? Chaimie Leigh Cuhtis (who zaid she vouldn't schleep mit me because I vasn't asch fonny asch Christophah Guest), Rita Vilson (who schaid she vouldn't schleep mit me because I vasn't asch talonted asch Tom Hanks), Linda Hamilton (who schaid dat she vished she would hab schleeped mit me to schtick it Chames Camahrun for schticking it to Suzie Amis) and finally Scharon Schtone (who schaid she wouldn't schleep mit me because I vas ein aschole).
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I've always liked Arnie. He's fun onscreen and has chosen a bunch of great projects. No guns? Who cares. Look at him- his thing can easily be physical strength and ability rather than hardware. Maybe just kicking ass one on one is the next wave in the U.S. This might be a 'punching & brawling' answer to the current popularity of martial arts. I want to see more fights like the one in From Russia With Love between Connery and Shaw. That was a brutal fight without gloss.
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Andrew Davis directed this, right? Arnold should only work with this kind of director rather than the ones who let him throw them around for amusement between takes. You work with better directors, you get better movies...at least that's a way of looking at it. Although Andrew Davis did The Fugitive, he never really broke out. Maybe studio should give him Red Dragon. Somebody else on another talk back said that a while back, and I like that idea alot.
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i have this friend here in austria who doesn't look anything like The Austrian Oak but i had to do some scool type recording stuff recently and needed his help. so we taped this thing and in listening back onit, he was trying to do this arsehole voice and he sounded soooooo much like arnie it was scary!!
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At least I hope. :x
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Whatever he has to do to get back on the interview circuit so Arnie can pick up chicks.
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Note to the studio: "Collateral Damage" is what Tim McVeigh called the kids in the daycare center of the Murrah building in Oklahoma, Bomber McVeigh said "Oh those kids they were just collateral damage I knew they were there but it was OK because the US government always winds up with collateral damage whenever we bomb a foreign country with cruise missiles." So studio jamokes you may want to think of a less-inflamatory title. Just my two cents.
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My theory is this: If my wallet is summarily raped and precious moments of my life are stolen more than three or four times by a certain actor/director/producer, then it is safe to say, they won't be seeing my ticket money for the next bout of sodomy they try to visit upon me.
Arnold, once a fave (PREDATOR, TOTAL RECALL, TRUE LIES, TEMINATOR), has "porked my pocket" out of ticket money the last few outings. END OF DAYS and THE 6TH DAY sucked ass through a crazy straw. Sometimes I wonder if Arnold sees his fans like the evil woodsmen saw Ned Beatty in DELIVERANCE. Damn you ARNOLD, I wont squeal like a pig!!!!!!!
Ok, maybe if he came out in I AM LEGEND I would. But I 'ld bring lube damn it.
Sorry lack of sleep makes a man say strange stuff. -
Ok This really has nothing to do with this artical but still it's really bugging me. I don't recall a Harry cartton (those little things at the upper left area of the site) that I did not know what movie it was from. I feel like I should know this one. I just have no memory of it. any one know where it's from?
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The CIA got you pushing too many pencils?
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When you see Arnie run in movies these days he looks like he's gonna fall over and die.
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He probably doesn't pick up a gun because he might stain something
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...it's from Spy Kids brotha ; )
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A talented director (Fugitive ruled!) and a great supporting cast sounds good. It puzzles me that Arnie uses no guns... I hope that the film is very action-oriented because Arnie is not a real actor and can't really hold interest in a realistic crime thriller. No, hold on! The review said that he is a FIREman... Now wouldn't it be be cool if Arnie would use a FLAMETHROWER throughout the film... That's why he doesn't bother to use rifles and other pussy weapons. Also, maybe he just CUTS people in HALF with a gigantic CHAINSAW... Think of all the possibilities that you can have without guns...
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Jun 29, 2001 4:52:11 AM CDT
I'm going to approach this one with a "wait-and-see" attitude...
by lostoptimist
Not because Arnie is due for a comeback but because of Davis. Sure, CHAIN REACTION was a misfire and his pet project STEAL BIG, STEAL LITTLE was a dud but this is the man who put together Harrison Ford's last good movie, THE FUGITIVE, directed both Steven Seagal's and Chuck Norris' best films (take your pick between UNDER SEIGE or ABOVE THE LAW for Seagal and CODE OF SILENCE for Norris), the Great Hackmen flick THE PACKAGE and the wonderfully odd Musical/Drama STONY ISLAND.
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becauss I don't need it fur diss moofie... it wass a one-ahmed man.
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I couldn't agree more. Arnie's best films (and performances) have always had a good director and/or writer too. Conan (John Milius & Oliver Stone), Predator (John McTiernan), Total Recall (Verhoeven), both Terminators (Cameron), Kindergarten Cop & Twins (Ivan Reitman).
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what about other memorable phrases?
-i hope you leave enough room for my fist because im going o ram it into your stomach!
-come on, dont bulls*** me
-one of us is in big trouble
-you have what you want. give the people their air!
-Krom!
-hey, im a police officer.
-im a cop, you idiot!
-howdy stranger. this is howser. -
How strong would the wires need to be that have to carry poor Arnold? Can you imagine a director trying to throw his bulk around? I mean, I LIKED wire-fu back with the Shaw brothers and the Golden Harvest hay-days. I LIKED the Matrix, and its brilliant fusion of Eastern and Western action -- wire-fu and "Guns. Lots of Guns."
But did I LIKE Charlies Angels, because of its high-stepping, obviously wired tricks? Does Jet Li still impress me now that he's relegated himself to the role of Acrobat?
What does this have to do with Arnold? Easy -- GIVE HIM A GUN, LET HIM BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF THE BAD GUYS -- or better yet, MAKE him the bad guy. Arnold's forte has NEVER been acting. It's been intimidation. When he intimidates, he rocks. When the cast and crew can pull of humor because of (or in spite of) him, then the movie will rock.
Harrison Ford's younger days were filled with this kind of movie, and they worked, because we BELIEVED he was an ordinary kind of guy, stuck in incredibly un-ordinary circumstances (and with a slight stretch... an Ordinary smuggler, caught up with the rebellion, hehe).
But Arnold's size and physical presence DENY him the ability to fill that role. He's not an ordinary guy. He needs to bulk down, or stop trying to play a wuss, because my personal wimp-o-meter says that anyone who's bicep is bigger around than the circumference of David Spade is NOT a wuss. Not even a fire fighting wuss.
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more south cali shows available
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Don't forget other classics:
--It's not a tumor!
--I do not want to touch his ass. I want to make him talk!
And my all-time favorite (you know, with the rash of remakes out there... he could make big bucks reissuing this with his own voice....)
--Ha, ha, ha. You have struck Hercules.
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Jun 29, 2001 8:04:38 AM CDT
No Dog Star the studio must change the title! "Collateral Damage
by regis travolta
And many reviewers in the heartland will point this out which will cause anger and consternation and dismay at the studio for seemingly exploiting such a terrible tragedy/massacre of innocent civilians. I suggest they retitle it something nicer, kinder and gentler, perhaps something along the lines of "Oh that lovable Arnold he's not mad" or possibly "Hey Arnold's not even armed in this movie" or how about "He's back and nicer than ever!"
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i AGREE WITH THE GUY EARLIER WHO SAID THAT IF YOU PUT ARNOLD IN A BALLS TO THE WALL R RATED ACTION FILM YOU WILL HAVE A HUNDRED MILLION. BUT I LOVE ARNOLD SO MUCH THAT I LIKED last action hero, end of days, and 6th day. i EVEN ENJOY WATCHING kindergarden cop. WHAT DO I KNOW...driven WAS PRETTY GOOD TOO...LOUSY EDITING.
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Jun 29, 2001 8:45:12 AM CDT
Mein Gut Freund Bozz Mabahreich Met Ein Bik Schott At Ein Schant
by buzz maverik
Matuharally, der big schott neahly creamed himschelf ven he found out who Bozz vas. Aftah Bozz ansuhed schome questions abouht AICN (Bozz schaid Harry vas moch thinnah in puhschon) and some ob you ("gay, gay, gay, really gay, bi, gay, and gay") der big schott asched Bozz ib he had any ideas foah schequels to dumbkopt action frochises. Bozz brought op schome tings dat der big schott saw asch LETHAL VEAPON 5150; DIE HAHD: DER MASCHTAH GONFIGHTAH; und SCHPEED X 3: PAYLOAD. Dat Bozz. Vat an aschole. Not vun schquel to vun of mein moobies.
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Jun 29, 2001 8:55:23 AM CDT
Und Don't Foahged To Vatch Mein New WB Schit-com AHNIE...
by buzz maverik
Bozz ischt produschink und he vill de der next Dabit Kelly, you vatch! B.M. Productschuns will be up deah mit Austrian Oag. I play ein foamah suhcusch schtrong man foahced by coaht odah to room mit ein she-male playt by mein gut freund, der leschbian Roschie O' Donnell (who schaid she vouldn't schleep mit me because ein hab ein dick; or becausch I am ein dick, I'm not shoah vitch, aldo I do hab ein dick) vhile raischink ein broot of mult-razchial vise-crocking kits.
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Arnold had no guns (and virtually no dialogue). It was all macho survivalist showdown with only his body and nature as his weapons. Some of the coolest pure-cinema movie-thrill excitement of the past quarter-century... one of the reasons that DVD is a must-have even without special features. Of course, the Predator was more interesting than hohum terrorists, and McTiernan's more popular than Davis. But all I'm saying is that there is precedent to be optimistic about the possibilities of Arnold in the Third World kicking ass rather than shooting ass.
(Insert gay joke here.) -
In the original script it was supposed to be LIBYA that Ahnuld goes to to KICK SOME AAAAASSSS! Wonder if they ditched that because it was too politically sensitive or something.
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Andrew Davis is not what I would consider a talented director. Has anyone seen his other films besides The Fugitive? Perfect Murder, Chain Reaction, Steal Little Steal Big, Chuck Norris and Steven Segal movies. Credit for The Fugitive goes to Ford, Jones, and possibly writer David Twohy in my book. The only other Andrew Davis movie I consider watchable is The Package (Jones again and Hackman), but I think I'm in the minority on Under Siege. I'm not saying this movie will be bad, but Davis does not fill me with confidence. Decent cast and Nicholas Meyer on the list of half dozen writers, so who knows.
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Or you just doesn't know WHERE is Spain? Pen
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Yeah, Arnie's big problem these days is mediocre, middle-of-the-road directors. Davis looks to continue the trend (The Fugitive was clearly a fluke). Rather than toning down his action hero persona, he needs to find a director who can make the most of it. Someone like Verhoeven who isn't afraid to throw around buckets of blood. John Woo could probably make a good Schwarzenegger movie.
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Andrew Davis' version of Universal Soldier was never filmed. He left the project over the usual "creative differences" b/c he wanted a big budget for glow-in-the-dark FX which Carolco wouldn't foot. The screenplay went back on the shelf and gathered an inch of dust, while Davis tried to convince other producers to let him direct a movie. (Without a real hit to his credit he was considered untrustworthy... Code of Silence didn't mean much to the studios.) Meanwhile Euro-based Roland Emmerich was going back and forth between Joel Silver and Carolco on other sci-fi actioners that never got past development hell. Eventually Emmerich picked up the Universal Soldier project as his US debut, and had his team of re-writers redo the whole thing as only Dean Devlin knows how. Simultaneously Davis gets the gig to helm Under Siege which is the biggest hit of Seagal's career, and then goes on to the HF blockbuster The Fugitive, which is the last time Davis drew any paying audience.
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... I am Collateral Damage. Really. In the middle eighties, I was living in Barcelona. By chance I chose not to go to a mall called Hipercor. A bomb exploded and more than twenty civilians died. I am also the son of a militar, so I've been marked - since I was born - by basque terrorists as Collateral Damage (it's OK if we get killed by them) , like hundreds thousand people all over Spain. And as the U.S. Army called the thousands of Iraq, Serbians or wherever deads after NATO bombings. You could have chosen many other better reasons than the feelings of some people in Oklahoma. Anyways, I hope you'll never get to know how it feels when a bomb hits ground near you. Really.
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Jun 29, 2001 2:30:03 PM CDT
Oz Foah Mein "Eadink Ist Nod Cheadink" Comment, Mahreeuh Says...
by buzz maverik
...dat der vay dat I ead cannod be considuhed cheadink und can bahuhly be considuhed eadink. Hey, I tink Mahreeuh took ein schott ad me. Gutt vun, Mahreeuh! Sehreosly thoah, I am nod onfaithful to Mahreeuh. Hell, I am imbotend froam all der steroids. Der kinder ahn't eben mein. Der lost vun ist Caspah Van Dien's, bod id ist puhuhly reprodockchunal und I supahweiss. I set, "Caspah, ged yoah bott hiah. Built id op moah before you come foah maxiumn spuhm cound. Mahreeuh, don' oct like yoah enchoyink id so moach. Caspah knows yoah nod und dat you ah tinkink ob me."
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Excellent point, Kamehameha. The entire third act of Predator was all wits, fists, knifes and booby traps, and that 30 minutes ranks up there as some of the most honest-to-goodness, hardcore action ever. Have some faith, people. No guns doesn't mean no action. Arnie probably still fillets people with knifes, breaks their necks, blows them up and so on. Afterall, just how many action movies end with the bad guy dying from a bullet? You're always waiting until the end of the movie to see the bad guy's colossal death scene because you know that it's going to be memorable, unique and from brute force. Well, Collateral Damage sounds like a whole movie based on that kind of stuff. Besides Predator, Cliffhanger is another movie that is exceptional and good because Stallone hardly lifts a gun. Guns aren't necessary. I happen to like no guns because it brings a human-ness and vulnerability to the character. MacGuyver felt like an ordinary person because he refused (due to a horrible childhood accident) to even lift a gun. A movie without Arnie lifting a gun may not sound like a typical Arnie movie, but it has a shot at being a much better and obviously fresher movie. Remember, all of Arnie's best movies (Predator, Total Recall, T2, True Lies) are those which are different and less "Arnie-cookie-cutter." I'm excited about Collateral Damage. Like Arnie's best movies, they seem to be slightly challenging Arnie's image.
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and no one liners. Suddenly, I find I've aquired some interest for this movie.
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... and that is too bad. I used to be the world's biggest fan of him, even did a paper on him in business class in high school when we were to chose entrepeuenrs that we admired. Last great film he did was T2 and it was all down hill from there. Reason why is that he has too much say in his movies. Looking back, the best movies he was in was when he was just a tool of the director and not the one pulling the strings. I would love to see King Conan still, but not if he has any control over it.
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...inspired. Whoever posted that first deserves kudos. He's one of those directors that can make a good movie as long as he has a good script to work from. If Ted Tally's R.D. is as good as I've heard it is, David directing might be a good choice.
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Is Arnies agent an imbecile or what?
Remember when the austrian oak could npt miss? Ever since "True Lies" or "T2" he drifted into Troy McClure land.
He should make the movies Clint Eastwood did his age, or at least "Crusades","I am legend" or "Planet of the apes" (yes, I do like Wahlberg)
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