Cool News
A review of JURASSIC PARK 3... can it be this cool'
SPOILER ALERT !!
Hey folks, Harry here.... It seems Supercake2001 stole about 90% of his 'review' was taken from a gentleman named Chris Maier who originally posted the material at IGN's Boards where he is a moderator. Remember folks, if you find something cool elsewhere, just point me to the link. That way the original author gets credit, and the original site gets the traffic. Don't try to pass it off as your own... that's uncool. As for Supercake 2001.... he's as phony as AT&T...
Hey folks, Harry here.... this Supercake 2001 fella has been e-ing me stories since March, but this is the first exclusive that I've seen from him... Is it valid... Well it matches up pretty darn tootin close to the review that Nick did over at CHUD months ago... but doesn't read like someone incorporating his review. Beware of immense spoilers... pretty much the entire film... deaths... everything is outlined here... but so those of you that DON'T WANT TO KNOW ANY TWISTS can get an idea of how the film plays... here ya go... Apparently it kicks ass really hard according to this guy. The score wasn't in place yet, but was temp tracked with John Williams' previous work, though Don Davis is scoring the final film. Also there were some temp effects by ILM... but the film reads like a non-stop horror action Dino flick... I can't Wait! GO JOE JOHNSTON!!!! YOU KICK ASS!!! Ok, like I said... IMMENSE SPOILERS AHEAD... here ya go....
Hey Big guy. Call me Supercake2001.
I recently saw a test screening of "jurassic park 3" & my review is gonna be a
bit lengthy, so...here goes. From the looks of it, ILM is still polishing
off the visual effects, and Don Davis of the Matrix still hasn't finished
the score (jon williams was temp tracked), opening credits were missing, but
the film looks like it's gonna make its july 18 release date. And can I just
say---JOE JOHNSTON FUCKING RULES!!!
Four Years have passed since the incident on Isla Sorna and San Diego. The
island is now off-limits to the public, but John Hammond has died and
security around the island has been very shallow.
A group of thrill-seekers, Ben Hildebrand, Eric Kirby, are trying to get a
look at the exotic animals from a boat. Using paragliders, they try to get a
closer look, but the cords on the paragliders break and they are sent
heading towards the shore.
They wash up, only to find themselves menaced by Velociraptors. Apparently
their territory has expanded in the last four years. Eric hides in the trees
and tries to get film footage of them (He has a camera.) Unfortunately the
raptors kill Ben and Eric is left on the island on his own.
Cut back to the mainland. In Montana, Alan Grant is giving a lecture at the
local university on a new theory of Raptor intelligence, which he was able
to create thanks to his JP experience.
Grant makes it clear to his students that he has no desire to see dinos
again.
Grant's dig site and theory are in danger however. He no longer has the
funding from Ingen. Grant's personal life isn't exactly that great either.
Although he did have a child with Ellie, she ended up marrying another man
since Grant couldn't support her. However, Grant is approached by a
wealthy-although estranged couple-Paul and Amanda Kirby (Played by William
H. Macy and Tea Leoni). They want to take an aerial tour of the island with
Grant advising them. Initially Grant declines, but Paul offers to fund his
dig for another five years. This and a little coaxing from his protégé
/assistant Billy Brennan (Face-off's Alessandro Nivola) and a meeting with
Ellie turns Grant around-On the condition that they DO NOT land the plane,
and that Billy comes along with him.
They head to the island. On board the plane, Grant has a nightmare about the
JP incident, and dreams that raptors have taken over the plane. When he
wakes, he quickly asks Billy to be partners with him at the digsite when
they return. Billy agrees.
As they approach the island, Brachiosaurs raise their necks up, as if
welcoming them.
Suddenly Paul tells the pilot Udesky (Michael Jeter) to land the plane on
the runway in the south of the island (We didn't see it in TLW, but it's
there) Grant's warns Udesky not to land, but he follows Paul's orders and
does. Grant is furious-and even more furious when he learns the real reason
the Kirby's wanted to land. To find their son Eric, and get him out safely,
with Grant to guide them.
A small search party, consisting of the Kirby's bodyguards, Cooper (John
Diehl) and Nash (Bruce Young) go into the jungle to check if there are any
Dinosaurs nearby.
Grant, Billy, Paul and Amanda remain at the plane. Grant tells Udesky to
take off at a moment's notice...
Suddenly, the group still at the plane hear a dinosaur coming. Udesky
prepares to take off and is just about to when Cooper, a bloodied mess,
comes staggering out of the jungle and runs for the plane. As he runs for
the plane, a Spinosaurus (Dino of similar size to T-rex) comes out of the
jungle and chases him. The group watch out of the plane window as the Spino
rips Cooper to shreds.
While the Spino is busy eating Cooper, Nash runs out of the jungle. he
appears unhurt and quickly enters the plane.
The plane accelerates off the runway and away from the Spino. Suddenly the
Spino notices it and bats it to the ground where it smashes into treetops
and remains.
As the group are recovering, they here the Spino coming again. It proceeds
to rip the nose-cone off the plane, but is slightly injured by the
propellers. Udesky runs into the fuselage but the Spino pulls him out and
rips him apart.
The group cower in fear on the plane floor as the Spino comes to finish them
off, then, suddenly they hear a familiar roar.
A Tyrannosaurus Rex emerges and there is a huge dual between the two
behemoths.
The plane crashes to the ground and the group escape. As they are running
Grant sees the Spino tear open the T-rex and the Rex falls to the ground
dead.
Eventually, after hours of walking, they find Eric, along with what's left
of Ben.
They all agree that they must find their way to one of the Ingen compounds
on the island (There are two, so they go to the one that isn't in TLW)
The group eventually comes across an aviary by a river. Grant suddenly
realizes they're in trouble, as the group is attacked by a group of
Pteranodons. Eventually, the group escapes, barely.
They head down the river and discover an old boat with a large cage on it.
It was used to carry smaller dinosaurs, like raptors before the island was
abandoned.
They board the ship, and as it turns out, the vessel has a phone.
Grant calls in, but it turns out that a rescue can only be attempted by
shore. However, the boat should take them closer to the outer part of the
island and close to shore.
The boat sails through a valley of herbivores. There's a bit of character
development here. Grant begins to start to think that Hammond was
wrong-Dinosaurs and man cannot exist on the same planet peacefully, no
matter what. Meanwhile, there's some moments with the Kirby's, who are
somewhat estranged.
At night, suddenly the boat is jolted. The Spinosaur is swimming in the
water. It attacks the craft, causing it to sink and Grant and co are forced
to abandon ship.
As a result of this they now have to make it to the island exterior by foot.
They spend a few moments among the more peaceful Dinosaur species, when
suddenly something disturbs them.
Raptors! The Raptors attack some of the herbivores-including an Ankylosaurus
which fights valiantly but is killed.
Grant and the others try to evade the predators by climbing the trees.
Nash tries to buy the group some time by standing up to a raptor, he is
killed.
The group leap from tree to tree, and manage to lose the raptors.
After a while they come to the abandoned Ingen lab. Grant hopes they will be
able to find some food and supplies there.
In this scene there is a revelation about Ingen and Jurassic Park that is
rather disturbing. They find out that Grant's theory is true, the
geneticists mucked up the cloning of the raptor and they are still evolving.
They have intelligence far in advance of any other animal. Grant also
discovers that Ingen had continued cloning dinosaurs after the San Diego
incident. This was how the Spinosaur came to be on Isla Sorna. Ingen had
continued to clone more dino's up until Hammond's death, and Ingens
bankrupcy.
The group stay for the night at the compound. But during the night the group
gets attacked by Raptors again. The group manage to evade the Predators by
hiding themselves in animal cages at the compound.
However, the Raptors are very clever, and do something intelligent
(Involving trapping the group), which pretty much helps prove Grant's theory
even more.
The group manage to escape again, but have to jump back into a cage when the
Spinosor arrives. The intelligent (Involving kills a couple of raptors, and
the rest run back into the jungle.
The Spino attempts to break into the cage, but these cages were built to
hold. After a while, the Spino gets bored and it marches back into the
jungle.
The group take a few paragliders from the compound, as Paul knows that they
have to ascend a cliff face to get to the shore.
The group can see several military craft coming towards the island. knowing
that they are almost safe, the group paraglide off the cliff. As they float
away from the cliff, Grant suddenly turns back towards it. Paul, Amanda and
Eric follow him but Billy does not. Grant has noticed that Pteranodons are
heading towards them.
Billy though, is too far away from the cliff to turn back. The pteranodons
attack his paraglider and he crashes to the ground. The pteranodons
violently attack him and he is killed.
While the Pteranodons eat Billy, the rest of the group paraglide onto the
shore and meet with hundreds of military soldiers.
They are headed by a costa-rican conservationist called Enrique. He tells
the group that they must leave straight away, as the island is going to be
destroyed. Grant persuades him to leave it though, and just make sure that
no one is allowed any where near it again. Enrique agrees with Grant, and
they head towards the ships. Just as they are about to leave the Spinosaur
come sprinting out of the jungle and runs towards the boats. It is about to
attack when the other T-rex runs out of the jungle and another fight takes
place.
Te group, again use this to their advantage and sail away while the dinos
are distracted. As the ships head out into the deep ocean Grant turns. He
sees the T-rex ripping the Spinosaurus belly open.
The Spino falls to the ground and the rex begins to eat it.
In the end the costa rican army set up a permanent barricade around the
island, to prevent any more "accidents".
all in all, i'd rank it above the lost world, hell, this is what the lost
world should have been. come to think of it now, the lost world is gone from
my memory! this is gonna be the boxoffice hit of the summer, you heard it
here first. be there july 18, and tell em, supercake 2001 sent ya!!
supercake 2001, out!!
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+ Expand All
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No I don't have to pay $8.50 too go see it, since Supercake explained the whole damn thing to me.
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Me thinks, the Gay Nazi spends his weekends alone.
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Jun 04, 2001 8:49:08 PM CDT
Well she's faster than most and she Kills on the coast, uh-ah ha
by drive! kowalski
Girl, I'm just a Jeepster for your Fangs.
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I'm there!! Don't use butter on your Popcorn!! Did anyone know if you mix 1/2 T-Rex and 1/2 Raptor you will get a bassett hound as the end result?
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Sounds like this is the Jurassic Park that Speilberg was too scared to make. I'm glad ol' Joe grabbed this project by the balls and went at it.
*sigh*......whatever happened to the Speilberg who made Jaws and Raiders of the Lost Ark? That's right.....he made Hook and The Lost World. -
...because I would love to see this series end with a bang! It would be great to see the trilogy curse broken by a successful third entry.
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Bolan likes to rock now,yes he does,yes he does....BUT RAPTORS KICK ASS!!
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Jun 04, 2001 9:51:47 PM CDT
Yes, I read this at www.themoviespoiler.com a month ago....
by darth pixel
It was posted by the cake man there, too. I liked it. I even thought of emailing Harry, but I just figured he already knew of it. DAMMIT!!! That could have been my name up there... Bummer. Hey, Harry, what of the Star Wars thing I emailed you? Did you read it?
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Why is their no mention in this *review* of just how annoying Tea Leoni is in this movie?.In the trailer she only says a few things , and she was already annoying me.I hate to think what a whole film of its like.Now I liked Tea in Naked Truth, and she was almost a babe in Bad Boys{ was her miniskirt in that an effect? It was outrageously short , but no matter what pose she was in and how low the camera angle..you never got an eyefull!!!} , but her whiney voice in Deep Impact , was just insufferable... and it seems to have got worse in JP3.Oh and is this actually a review?No mention of music, pacing , acting or even Fx ...whats going on?
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Jun 04, 2001 10:11:15 PM CDT
Deac Speaks..... Jurassic Park III, looks cool, and this review
by deacon
i have no idea how the acting is, how the CGI is, how the scenery is, the CameraWork style, the dialoge, the story, character development, the overall tone of the film... all i got was basically a spoiler filled "back of the video case" analogy... but overall i feel this movie may rock the casba baby! speilberg lost his balls a long time ago when he made hook.... after Jurassic Park i thought he was back, then he made Lost World... and Amistad. Anyway Joe Johnston isn't that bad a guy and he certainly could make a sweet JP movie... and it seems he's gotten the point that thought provoking story has already been done with dinosaurs(and damn well too, david koepp rules) so he went with action, suspense, and very cool dino violence! from what i can see , the original death count from JP the first has been doubled, then that amount was tripled... sounds cool... not only that but i love Sam Neill as an actor and believe he was the shining part of JP amoungst the CGi which at the time was new, breathtaking and exciting... now after matrix, the lost world, mummy, star wars episode1, and a bunch of others CGi graphics aren't as important as they once were... mainly cause 90% of the people that use it always screw up and make it look like a very lifelike cartoon... i'll definatly go and see this movie in July with not alot! but some anticipation... the secret to not being dissapointed is not going in expecting much... when i went to lost world i expected a kick ass movie, bigger budget then Jp and Speilberg was doing it.. i was let down hard.. i expect a good solid entertaining 90+ minutes for this one... i hope i get it, oh yeah William H. Macy, eat it
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...in all my dinosaur books, Pteranodons are always eating fish. But if in this one they're mean looking with huge gaping rows of bloody fangs that we'll see rip into John Diehl's pulpy carcass after only five minutes of being in the movie, dropping the majority of his internal organs onto the jungle floor only to be gorged on wildly by raptors in a bloody frenzy...at least one actor killed in every scene of the movie...watching Sam Neill piss his pants one more time on the big screen...no annoying brats...gore, screams, and flying limbs...that whole fucking T-Rex/Spinosaurus war........All I can say is one thing. Go check out Peter Jackson's "Dead Alive" (Braindead). That's all the carnage you'll ever need. Tell 'em Bry-Guy sent you. "I kick ass for the Lord!"...
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...no more Jeff Goldblum...fuckin aye.
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Jun 04, 2001 11:10:28 PM CDT
Yeah. I'll believe it when I see it. Remember that A.I. review?
by psyclops
This sounds like shit to me.
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Jun 04, 2001 11:19:59 PM CDT
Although he did have a child with Ellie, she ended up marrying a
by junior d-girl
What a load of bullshit! They were madly in love in the first one! Totally unbelievable and now I don't even have to see it since I just read the entire fucking plot! Nighty-night boys!
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Well, not all of it, but this is an utter fake.
The finale will not happen like that... William H. Macy has said in interview that the finale will involve the pteranodons attacking the military guys on the ground!
The Spino is seen off before the finale... if you've seen the trailers, you've seen its last appearence in JP3.
This has just been pieced together using the info you can get if you go to any of the JP3 sources around the web...
Until it can be proven otherwise, this is FAKE -
This almost makes me want to go see "Pearl Harbor." For one, after the last film, you'd think some world governments and extremely shady characters would have gotten into the action. If there was going to be a security blanket around the island, especially after the San Diego incident in "Lost World," a bunch a paragliders breaching the security net would be highly implausible, or else much more nefarious elements would have beat them to the punch. Why would Ingen still be cloning the velocoraptors? After San Diego, they'd be up to their butts in litigation. If anyone would be doing the cloning, it'd probably be the CIA, or another intelligence operation under the guise of reseach. When I think of a plot for J3, something more along the line of Aliens creeps into mind. But more to the point, even if the point of the film is to chase a few greenbacks, there should be a larger purpose to the film. in the first film, it was man shouldn't tamper with nature for his own amusement, the second film reinforced this, coupled with the suggestion that there is a need for concensus when dealing with technologically sensitive issues. Were I working on a script for this, I'd draw a parallel between man's technological advance and the velocoraptor's development--once things are set in motion, there's no stopping what transpires, and that in this event, there needs to come a new way of thinking on evolution. For example, as the velocoraptors gain sentience, do they become more than just efficient killers? At what point are intruders on the island more of a problem than the raptors, or is it impossible for the raptors to ever be accepted on their own terms, and why? As vague as I just sounded there, I think an imaginative screenwriter could take these ideas and run with them. As it is, according to the above given plot summary, J3 is just a CGI rollercoaster ride--find any plausible way to confront the monster, run away from him and escape by your wits, with the monster to be quelled in the end. Shit, this is the basic plotline to any one of a hundred monster flicks. J3 sounds like a wait for video feature in the making. Better yet, wait for the video game--you'll get more thrills.
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evolving dinos, now, that's a disturbing revelation. i guess the writers were off to meal when chosing the big middle story hook ("oh, pete, look, your corned beef is STILL evolving !").
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This guy is a regular at my site, and simply pieced together this report from the bits of information we know about the film over the past few months. He's pissed at Harry for posting a link to the script, which was subsequentially removed under pressure from Universal. As for the test screenings, I just happened to ask Joe Johnston about them a few days ago, and he responded saying there would be no screenings. More info at my site: http://www.dansjp3page.com/oldnews30.asp
-Dan -
i tried to warn em!
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WATCH OUT SPIELBERG: THERE IS A NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN AND HIS NAME IS JOE JOHNSTON! JURASSIC PARK III IS MORE THRILLS PER MINUTE THAN JP I AND II COMBINED! IT WILL HAVE YOU ON THE EDGE OF YOUR SEAT! A ROLLERCOASTER RIDE! YOU WON'T BELIEVE A DINOSAUR CAN FLY!
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I know trailers can mislead, but the most recent one makes it look pretty clear that the plane with Grant et al on at the start is downed by a big scaly flying thing and crash lands. Surely our big ol' spoiler would have mentioned that?
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God, the book and movie of TLW was so bad...there really is no excuse for their to be a third movie. None. The first book, JP, was good, but Crichton still doesn't know how to write people. Crichton knows how to write about cool concepts and that's it.
I thought the first JP movie, music and effects aside, was one of the most overrated movies of its time. It should have just ended there. -
...ok so it has been nearly ten years since I read JP over the course of about 8 hours....so maybe i'm not remembering everything perfectly, what with the PoS that was the movie, and i refused to taint myself with TLW. But....i seem to recall that the in the book there was a ride down the river on a raft or barge, watching the herbivores, then to be attacked by T-rex who decided to go fishing for them. and the pteranadons were in the book as well. this review smells of a hack, that or the movie is a hack of the original book and some new shit thrown in for shock value....didn't they end up bombing the island in the end of the book???....
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Jun 05, 2001 7:15:41 AM CDT
"Thrilling! One great ride! One of the year's 50 best! I'd st
by general idea
Hehe, good one Chewbacco. Must be convenient for Sony/Columbia, eh? Not that anyone pays attention to those stupid blurbs anyway. And let's get serious with Jurassic Park. T-Rex and a Harry-osaurus vs. Godzilla and Mothra. Seriously, I can't wait to see the Pteranadons in action...
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Jun 05, 2001 7:25:05 AM CDT
That's just Crapola Extrapolation. and TEA LEONI *IS* THE BOMB!
by drive! kowalski
Man, I've had the hots for her since "Flying Blind". She's talented and funny and would be having *my* babies and not Mulder's, if I hadn't got stuck in traffic one time. Definitely. Yeah. Woulda happened. ab
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I recently heard that Steven Spielberg was thinking of continuing the JURASSIC PARK series with a FOURTH film. If he still is interested in producing this series, he must have been pleased with Joe Johnston's work on JP III. Whether the review was fake or not, the lack of bad buzz concerning JP III is a good sign. I have high hopes for JP III and I think the producers are aiming for a lean and mean movie, a straight horror/adventure that pushes the PG-13 limit. I like what I hear so far. The trailer I saw in the theatres did not excite the audience, they were mum throughout and one of them stated "what? another one?". They need to cut a new trailer or at least release a longer version of the "Survivor" trailer that was aired on tv. That one worked much better. The problem with the movie trailer is that it was more of the same: opening shot of island, a group of hunters/explorers, jungles, dinos - nothing new. It hinted at language and intelligence between dinosaurs but we've seen all that before, notable in the cheesefest DEEP BLUE SEA. I wouldn't want to see this potentially best JURASSIC PARK having its business diminished on July 4th because of a ho-hum trailer.
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that SKANK Leoni geting alive eaten by a giant T-Rex! You sir, have just ruined my day, hope you're happy! :o(
I don't hate her it's just that she can't act for sh*t and SHE IS SO *ANNOYING*! Thanks a lot, you plant!
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Jun 05, 2001 8:16:45 AM CDT
Damn! The movie comes out one day right after I leave for Army
by themightyra
I won't be able to see this movie for like a whole half a year? I won't see this spine clattering action in the theaters..no! I'll have to see it on video, or DVD, or whatever! What a crock!
But my friends promised they would see it...!!! -
They could at least learn how to write a little bit of believable science into their flicks. A Spinosaur taking down a T-Rex is hilarious, being that it was a great big fish-eater and wouldn't have had the size or muscle to do something like that. But then, I'd be happy if they stopped calling their nose-jobbed baddie-bad-guys velociraptors, too...
I'll probably go to see the effects, and Will Macy (because he's always great, no matter how bad the movie is). -
I'm not one for personal attacks, but Harry sounded like he believed in this movie and my only question is WHY? This is a formula movie. Secondary characters die. Central characters live. We have yet ANOTHER goddamn rescue and the only thing to stop another bullshit sequel is the oh-so-capable Costa Rican government? When the hell did the Costa Rican government successfully defend ANYTHING. Central America is about as secure as a junior high school locker. And the thought that this environmentalist group wants to destroy the island and goes to the logistical trouble of bringing enough firepower to do it and Grant can just 'convince them not to' is total absolute fucking bullshit. From the sounds of things the only thing the dinos have really eaten is Sam Neil's career.
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Jun 05, 2001 8:56:20 AM CDT
A Tyrannosaurus Rex emerges and there is a huge dual between the
by wee willie
Do you mean "duel". AICN needs a copy editor.
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Can't wait for this mutha.
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Costa Rica is one of the five countries in the world without a standing army...so where the hell did the "hundreds of military personnel" come from? Oh and this review has got to be fake.
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If I'm not mistaken, the pteradons and the boat scene were both in the first Jurassic Park novel (except they get spotted in the boat by a 2nd T-Rex, as Spiney wasn't in Crichton's stuff)
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Although I will still see Jurassic Park 4 (part three was on Manhatten Island, remember the raptors in Godzilla?), it just won't be the same. Why? There's no John Williams!!!!
I love Williams' music from the first Jurassic Park, and part of his music from The Lost World (although the part I liked was an excerpt of the first movie's music). It won't be Jurassic Park without Williams' "Dun dun....dun, dun...dun dun dunn, dun dun dun dunnnnnn...dun dun dun dunn, dun dun dun dun...dunnnn, dun dun dun dunnn..." -
Finally, they make the first book the way the first movie should have been made! They get the waterfall scene in TLW, and now the river ride/attack, as well as the aviary and it's inhabitants! The massive amounts of Raptors running around, and two T-Rex's (I seem to remember a baby Rex in the novel as well, but like most it's been a while since I read it)So this Spinosaurus is new, but hey, they've got to one-up the first two somehow, why not throw in something meaner and badder than T-Rex. I know next to nothing about dinos and how they are supposed to act (try and prove these movies are wrong, anyway, there's no way to know for sure) but hey, I'll suspend belief on this one. Anxiously awaiting July!
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I have the sense THIS is going to be the best flick of the series... why? Spielberg made 1 & 2 while thinking about how to earn Oscars for Schindler's List and Amistad. The difference here is that Joe Johnston's only thought is to entertain, to take his chance to enter the big blockbusters cathegory... Spielberg is genius, but he didn't made perfect JP movies. A lot of things were a mess, and in fact, what I liked more of 1 OR 2 was the surprise San Diego ending... for being a surprise. They are two highly entertaining films, good movies, but not the movies they could have been. Go, Joe, go!
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Jun 05, 2001 10:38:25 AM CDT
"Ingen had continued cloning dinosaurs after the San Diego incid
by togmeister
B.S. Am i the only one to remember (or care)that Ingen had just filed for bankruptcy at the start of LW? A good sequel must maintain good continuity with the first film (as Aliens did). And while i'm here, the lysine-in-the-diet plot point in JP was never explained satisfactorily in LW.
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Joe Johnston rules?? This is the man who has made the likeable yet mediocre films Honey I Shrunk The Kids, The Rocketeer and Jumanji - not exactly a record that would make me excited about seeing this. Jeff Goldblum was the only reason to watch the non-CGI parts of the first 2 films and he's not in this one grrrrrr.
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This movie actually sounds watchable. But, hopefully if a JP4 is made, I want to see the genetic mishaps that were created by the InGen scientists. Imagine: a raptor the size of a T-Rex with the wings of a pteranodon, the arms of a spinosaur, and the spines of a stegosaur. Talk about kick-ass.
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"Even better than Beverly Hills Cop II. P.S. Thanks for the hooker."
-Harry B. Obese, AIN'T IT DORKY NEWS, June Issue, Maxim Magazine -
I have to agree with whoever said the trailer and specifically Tea Leoni in the trailer was annoying. I saw the trailer in front of Pearl Harbor and for some reason Tea Leoni's voice stuck out awkwardly and kind of grated. I'm really looking forward to seeing William H. Macy and especially Sam Neill again in this though.
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As for JP3 being just more of the same... it's a dinosaur flick. How many ways can it be done differently? It's a popcorn movie, hopefully better than Lost World, most likely not as good as the first. I hoping it's a nice diversion. Although, it would be nice if some writer or director really did try their damnest to come up with the most orginal, newest twist that can be done with a sequel given the limitations they're working with. The Alien series could have done so much better than the more of the same knock offs of parts 3 and 4. The comic books had some really interesting ideas like bringing back those elephant-like aliens from the first film. Even The Alien vs. Predator idea could be interesting if it really looked into the differences of the 2 species and didn't just degrade into an action flick. As for JP, what could they do? Dinosaurs over-running the planet is interesting but might go too far for the average movie goer.
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are the best kind of soldiers. ;-)
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Jun 05, 2001 5:18:54 PM CDT
The spinosaur grew to full size in four years? Its not just the
by critical bill
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Jun 05, 2001 8:45:48 PM CDT
THIS REVIEW IS COMPLETELY FAKE (DAN & TERRIBLY MAULED ARE RIGHT)
by shady gray
This review is completely made-up. Dan is right when he says Universal is not going to preview the film, and no one outside the studio has seen it as of yet. I know that sounds strange, considering they tested the first two installments, but it's true. And it's not a studio plant - who would be so dumb as to mention the first and last names of 2 characters from the first scene (could a test audience member remember that?). A lot of scenes mentioned in this "review" do happen in the film, but it's unfortunate that someone has gone through the trouble of patching together a synopsis from previous spy reports and various media sources and passing it off as real. With articles like this, no wonder everyone is suspicious of every non-regular AICN review.
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"The group manage to escape again, but have to jump back into a cage when the Spinosor arrives. The intelligent (Involving kills a couple of raptors, and the rest run back into the jungle." // What the...?
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this smells soooo fake! how can you have this much detailed review if it isn't?
started out with a "Joe whoever rules!", and didn't quite prove it with a kilometer long storytelling.
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another garbage being shoved up ours.
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your last posts have been real filthy. witness your penchant for "fuck" on Swordfish review.
...HOWEVER!!...I have to admit, your Britney "silicon-flying-everywhere" gag made me laugh. :) -
Or was there nothing clever in that entire summary. I think 25% of the people posting on AICN could write a better script if it's legit. So JP3 amounts to "DINOSAUR!!!" runrunrun "ANOTHER DINOSAUR!!!!" runrunrun CHOMP!! CHOMP!! "You killed Kenny, you bastard!" runrunrun "ANOTHER DINOSAUR!!!" run... stop "DINOSAURS FIGHTING EACH OTHER, YEAH!!!" "OH NO!! DINOSAUR WON AND IS COMING AFTER US AGAIN!!!" runrunrun "MORE DINOSAURS!!!" runrun... trip CHOMP!! CHOMP!! "THEY'RE SMART!!! THEY USE TRAPS!!!" runrunrun get off the island "WE'RE SAVED!!!" "OH NO!!! HERE COMES ANOTHER DINOSAUR!!!" flyflyfly-It's freaking lame. I'm going to see America's Sweetheart like every other guy trying to get laid that weekend.
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don't these people know when too quit? jp3 is not the end of some grand trilogy, it was made because the second made a lot of money. there's nothing new, sure new characters, a couple extra plot twists, but seriously it's like watching lethal weapon 5 or rocky 6. so if this breaks loose, there's sure to be a fourth, possibly with a comedic duo for zany fun like cheech and chong in an escaping vehicle blowing bong hits at the ensuing t-rex. i'm putting this in the pearl harbor category, i earned my money dammit.
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That made me chortle. Yea, verily. Might I suggest you seek a job within "60 Second Review"?? I MAY?? Why,thank you, sir! You should. There. This has been a Moment with User ID Indeed!
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I heard that this installment is suppossed to be a throw-back to the old "cave-man backing away from a tyrannosaurus only to have a Stegosaurus step in, the cave-man watches the two fight, and the Stegosaurus somehow knocks or tricks the tyrannosaurus into falling off a cliff"-black and white movie from the 30's. I heard that Johnston's nixxed the CGI effects and actually got Ray Harryhausen back to do his unique brand of stop-motion action. This is gonna be bigger than life, people. I can't wait to see dinosaurs fighting each other instead of just "big T-Rex eating running weak herbivore". BTW, I'm just kidding. I wish they'd do a Godzilla movie with the original design, but with the American one's budget. I want to fully realize the carnage that thirty-foot long feet would cause stomping down New York. Especially because Godzilla would knock chunks of building off that would fall and crush more people. And the buildings in New York are made of bricks, mortar and steel, not the paper mache and cardboard of Tokyo. Now that's nasty.
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I wonder why the people in these movies never ask "why did the Ingen scientists ever allow the raptors and t-rex's to hatch?" Oh right, we need the running and the screaming...
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Not really a review just a completely made up summary. I sure hope its the same guy, I would hate to think there are two of these idiots on the planet at the same time.
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I worked on the behind-the-scenes
for JPIII. Having read the script (in a locked room at Universal) and spent 2 weeks on the set, I can say that while this mini- series of a review gets many things right, others are strangely off. Some kind of fraud being perpetrated. also, Leoni's legs are not what they once were, Macy is a total hop head, and Stan Winston is a cross between Ray Cohn and Joel Grey. -
and i'm sure no one will read it. if anyone does, i won't be checking to see...but some guy named togmeister says that the lost world opened with ingen filing for bankruptcy. nope, in the book they had long since filed, but in the movie they were still alive and kicking. as for the bs about the third movie apparently ripping off the first book, the second movie did that as well. hardly matters. yes my friends, this is what happens when your memory is far too good. crap i read when i was 8 comes back to haunt me. i shall never read any replies to this, as i will probably never come back to this story. the "review" is likely a partial load of shit.
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After I couldn't fit everything wrong with Alien 3 into 60 seconds. Damn that Madonna video director and his alien cam. Did anybody else catch that comment on the Big Trouble in Little China DVD about Fincher having the effects guys put an alien suit on a stunt dog? Truly visionary.
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If this is a prequel to JP2 as everyone has said, has can Hammond be dead? He was alive in the Lost World.
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2 words! Ellie Sattler and Allen Grant not together! F THIS SHIT! Ok: they were obviously ment for each other in JP1. Now Grant, he wouldnt fool around. No way on a cold day, bitch! But Ellie was too low for the cat show! IT IS UNFUCKING DENIABLE THAT SHE WAS CHEATING ON HIM WITH FAT FUCK DENNIS NEDREY! And I mean, c'mon1 Whats with the all the sexual tension with Ian Malcom! And she was always going off with Robert Muldune...in the woods and stuff! SHIT! I wouldnt be surprised that cheated on him with a dinosaur or with that little bitch from the beggining who says, "that dosnt look very scary! More like a 6 ft. turkey!". FFFFUUUUUCCCCKKKKK!!!!!!
FUCK THIS! FUCK MY ANUS! -
These characters keep going back to the dinos, yet they never bother to bring a .50 BMG along!! It's like the characters in horror films who always have to wander into that dark room. I say they all deserve to die.
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There's no army in Costa Rica. Only a Civil Police.
Apparently, the producers didn't do the researh, just like with the last 2 movies. -
Hey, that sounds great. I can't wait to see it. Oh, and btw, I don't think Tea Leoni is as bad an actress as everyone says, I haven't seen many of her movies but she was pretty good in the ones I saw. Oh, and I just thought I'd let everyone know that I think they did a great job casting Trevor Morgan as the kid in the movie. He's a really good actor and he's cute too. One more thing, I heard his character's name was Miles and then I heard it was Eric, so which is it if anyone knows.
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Can anybody name for me one movie Tea Leoni was good in?
(silence)
I didn't think so. She will ruin every scene she is in, in JP3. God, Deep Impact was SUCH a bad movie! Why did she stand on that beach with her father and die like that? At least, try to live!
http://www.geocities.com/terpsichore77
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