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FLMLVR's All About The CHAOS!!

Published at:  Jun 04, 2001 4:43:44 PM CDT

Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.



Flmlvr's just the cutest little film reviewer. He stands about two feet high, and when he climbs into a theater seat, he has to use an upside-down popcorn bucket as a stepladder. He can't even lift a large coke unless he uses both arms. I don't know how he sees over anyone, even when he stands in his seat and jumps up and down, but somehow, he makes do. And now he's piping in with a look at a film from the director of the deeply creepy THE RING. Listen up...



So I know it's been a while since you've all heard from me but dwarf sex has
been in vogue as of late in LA, plus I've been off doing the tour circuit
promoting the super secret intergalactic special edition of "Willow". It's
been really cool. I haven't had this much fun dressing up in costume since
last night with John Robie's hot ass sister....

...Anyway, you're all probably thinking I'm here to review the new freddie
prinze movie, summer catch...well I'm not. But I will politely insist that
you all watch "E-True Hollywood Story" this coming Sunday. It's a
retrospective on Hughes' Master Work "Sixteen Candles".

No, the reason I'm here today is to politely inform you all of a very cool little japanese film I stumbled upon over the weekend called CHAOS. It's by Hideo Nakata, the director of the very cool and atmospheric horror film RING. Which if you haven't seen, I suggest you try and find. If you can't, don't panic too much, the american version comes out from Dreamworks sometime next year. After seeing these two films from Hideo, I'm pretty much willing to watch
anything by him. He's an awesome director who knows how to build suspense with subtlety, not with a blaring soundtrack coming out of dolby ex speakers. Now in keeping with the theme of subtlety, I'm going to try and describe this film with out giving the whole thing away. Sort of like with what Harry did for his "With a friend like harry" review. I'll give you the first ten minutes or so. And yes, I know that's blatantly ripping Harry off...but as Moriarty once said, "flmlvr thy name is not dignity.".

The film opens in an uppity, eight sets of silverware per meal, restaurant
where a husband and wife enjoy their dinner in silence. Before we know it,
the meal is over and the husband is up front paying for the meal. He
finishes, only to find his wife missing. He looks around. Can't find her. He
walks outside. Looks around. Can't find her. He shrugs. Doesn't have time
for this. He's late for an important meeting. He rushes into the office only
to be told by his secretary that he has a phone call and that it's one he
needs to take. He does and is informed that his wife has been kidnapped and
that if he wants to see her alive again, he needs to come up with some mad
cash. We then cut to the kidnapper and his wife, only to find out that the
wife is the one who approached the kidnapper. She came up with a desperate
plan to test her husbands love. She feels that after all these years, he
doesn't love her anymore, and that this is the only way to find out if he
still cares.

After some reluctance, the kidnapper agrees but decides that in
order for this to work, it has to be done as realistic as possible. That
means she has to be tied up, beaten, and possibly even raped. She agrees and
the kidnapper leaves her tied up in an apartment to go take care of some
things. When he comes back later that night to check in on her, he finds her
dead in the bathroom. Murdered. The phone rings and in a panic he answers
it. A voice on the other line tells him that he has one hour to dispose of
the body. The kidnapper laughs. Why would he do that? The voice on the other
line calmly explains that if he doesn't the police will be there in mere
minutes, and that there is no way that the police will believe his story.
Especially one where the woman was bound, gagged, and beaten so
realistically. The kidnapper drops the phone and before we know it we're in
the woods burying the body.

So that's pretty much the set up. The first ten minutes or so. What happens
from there is even cooler. I won't ruin it, but I will say that the director
made this film as sort of his homage to VERTIGO, so expect to find a woman
showing up who looks just like the dead woman and the kidnapper to go insane
trying to find out. It's a pretty cool film that is made cooler by the way
it unfolds. It's done in sort of a memento like narrative, but not quite. It
unfolds out of order, but not backwards, in a cloud of crisp, mood filled
cinematography.

This film isn't perfect. In fact the last 5 minutes pretty much blow...but
it's not that big of deal considering how fresh the first hour and a half
is. This may not be an easy film to find, but I definitely recommend that
you do your best to track down an import or find an uber cool video store
that carries a wide selection of foreign films.

That's all for now. I'm off to try and sneak my way into the SAVE THE LAST
DANCE video release party....

And remember, just like the voice over at the end of gremlins warns, you
never know where you'll find me. I might be under your bed, or in your desk
drawer, but no matter where I'm at, you can TALK TO ME!!!



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    Readers Talkback

  • Jun 04, 2001 6:07:27 PM CDT

    you don't need to expatriate

    by archdiver

    There are occasional offerings in this hemisphere that provide interesting psychological thrillers. Check out the Game or the Promise. I know these films fell a bit short of what they could have been, but they did offer some interesting concepts.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 04, 2001 7:03:45 PM CDT

    Hideo is going to break out big time soon

    by filmshark

    I know that he is currently one of the highest grossing directors in Japan. But, little does America know that he is planning on making his U.S. debut soon. One more horror franchise film for Japan, then he is Hollywood bound. THE RING is absolutely the most horrifying movies ever made and the Dreamworks version (written by Ehren Kruger and directed by Gore Verbinski) better live up to the franchise Japan has handed to them on a silver platter. CHAOS is a more subtle thriller. The best way to describe it is to say thazt it is A PERFECT MURDER meets MOMENTO. The main problem I had with MOMENTO was that, while the manner in which the story was told was unique, ultimately, the story (if you broke it down and told it in a linear way) is somewhat bland. CHAOS, on the other hand, has a great set-up, and a killer pay-off where you learn about it from bits and pieces from different points in time. There is no doubt that a U.S. remake is in the works.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 04, 2001 10:14:30 PM CDT

    I don't care what anybody says... I thought 'The Ring' sucked!

    by psyclops

    I'm all for creepy atmosphere and little gore in horror films. Hell, I even welcome that sort of thing (it keeps the film genuinely scary instead of resorting to the typical blood & guts stuff). But I cannot stand it when a movie relies only on mood and creepy atmosphere while throwing in so many convoluted subplots that the end result is far too confusing and mediocre to care about. I heard so many people praise this movie (especially Fangoria! You guys owe me an apology), I listened to people tell me of how the film is Japan's equivalent to 'Scream'... and I was suckered into buying a copy of the movie a few weeks ago. I hate each and every one of you for getting my hopes up. Aside from a few creepy moments this film isn't worth anybody's time. Believe it or not, I'm actually looking forward to the big budget studio remake!!!!

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