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UPDATED!! Anonymous Fan unveils the first review of A.I. EXTREME SPOILER WARNINGS!
Hi, everyone. "Moriarty" here. Just wanted to add my two cents after calling Harry. Just spoke with a trusted source, and I am going to say that the review below is 100% false. That it was cobbled together from trailer images and speculation, and nothing more. For one thing, we broke the story last year that Robin Williams was in the film as "Mr. Information," a narrator of an educational film within the film, and we ran a story last month from an MIT screening of the film's opening that doesn't match the information below at all. Harry stopped reading to protect himself from spoilers, and I can understand why. Feel free to read it now, since it appears to be the rantings of a fanboy with too much time on his hands.
On second thought... why would you want to read that? Anyway... here's the original article...
Hey folks, Harry here... This review details far far far far too much of what happens in A.I. I got about 1/3rd through before I stopped reading... TOO MUCH INFORMATION... I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THIS MUCH... I recommend to everyone... even SPOILER readers... to keep this movie pure. Read a third if you must, but I tell you... I learned something in the 2nd paragraph of plot description that sent a chill down my spine and was too much information. If you must read, go on.... However, for those that just want to know how the film is.... Apparently it's brilliant and Haley Joel Osment delivers the best performance by a child actor in the history of films that this reviewer has seen child actors acting in. Here you go... read at your own risk! Also be forewarned that the review could very well be fake... Like I said, I didn't read the whole thing because I don't want spoilers on A.I. SO... is this more A.I. misleading tactics? Could be, but I can't say as I don't want to read anything on A.I.
Harry,
I'm writing to you here risking literal life and limb from an undisclosed
location (University in California, and that's as far as I want to go with
that!) about a major, super, stupendous film that me and a select few in the
quiet sleepy hamlet I live in had the chance to see. Now, I first want to
warn you that what I have seen is still fresh in my memory, and it may not
make sense here as I write it, but hopefully you can patch it together, but I
will try and make it as cohesive as possible. What I viewed, and what our
small unit of humans here viewed, is a film I believe will put the film world
on it's head, and for the reasons you may think. The usual suspects in this
film, the special effects, story, are all tip-top to be sure, but the real
relevation is the acting. Haley Joel Osment has probably given the best
performance by a child-actor ever in a motion picture, and I thought he blew
everyone else out of the water, including Judd Law (who wasn't bad himself).
To begin, let's just say that I attend a University, where film is a
major concern, and your major could be film. I was hand selected from my
study group to attend a 'special viewing' of an upcoming film in our school's
film symposium. I've been in that place maybe 2 times in the past (my major
being psychology), but I must say it is a very well constructed theater.
There were about 20 other people inside, most of them up front and a handful
that were being ushered in and 'selected' their seats. I was given a seat
towards the middle (my favorite) and was handed a flyer that had wierd
hologram designs on it, and the letters A.I. in glittering silver on the
front. I wasn't really interested in this as I was in the people sitting up
front, a guy in a blue baseball cap with glasses! I thought to myself, jeez,
that looks a lot like Steven Spielberg, and you know what , call me crazy, it
was him. First, the director of the symposium hall made an announcement
(some short squat bald guy I didn't really like) in a high pitch voice, then
he introduced some others. Then, dum dum dum, he introduced mister
Spielberg, who stood up and smiled to everyone. He didn't say anything at
first (in the end, he stood up and took the mic), and I was a little put off
but still hyped for the film.
The lights went down and I stopped breathing. Everyone was locked on the
screen, and I was still looking down front trying to make out Speilberg's
expression (he was gesturing to the screen about something). It's here
Harry, that I want to warn your readers of some spoilers I think will
enlighten us all as to the movie they are waiting for. I wasn't waiting for
it, I was simply trying to read up for my final when some guy talked me into
seeing it in the library. Here we go...
The title credits were of a warning to the audience about a password,
where you could see the reflection of Haley's face. I suppose he is the one
who entered the password, because then the screen splintered apart and
reformed into the words A.I. with a vocodered voice talking about the future.
He said something about the population and environment, and then mentioned
New York city, and as he was speaking the camera flew down to the edge of the
'I' in the title and it turned into Manhattan. The camera levels out and you
can only see the tips of skyscrapers as the camera volleys through them very
quickly. The voice continues and starts trailing off into some number
sequence, reading them very quickly like, "19292938324948" until I couldn't
make them out anymore. Then, the camera rests to the top of, I think, one of
World Trade center towers. This is where it gets really freaky.
There is this , what I think is a spaceship type of vehicle, and these
half machine creatures walking around on four mechanical legs, each of their
faces in a sort of plastic casing (yeah, I thought it was wierd too). They
speak in number sequences, but really fast, and there was subtitles in this
part, which was surprisingly short. The camera is then from way up high, and
we see some wreckage and bodies all strewn about on the top of this building,
and the creatures are walking and using this sparking type of instrument (it
was slick and metallic, and they placed it to the temples of these android
things). One of the creatures comes across a strange looking body that has
no flesh or anything distinguishing it. It is small like a boy's, and when
one of these creatures 'sparks' it, he looks up and has a sort of 'I've just
had the best piss of my life' look, and turns and speaks to the others. He
says "I think this one still has life within him".
They pick up and place him within the vehicle they arrived in, which
looks like a cross between a submarine and a helicopter. They get in, and
place the kid in a cold storage locker type thing. They then proceed to
enter his mind, through this wierd type of machine that encapsulates the
wierd bird-like creatures' heads, and one of them enters a V.R. world (okay,
matrix parallels end here). We see, now dont cream your shorts or anything,
Robin Williams as a scientist guy, who finds what looks like Haley's face in
this strange V.R. world (it's like floating in a white space). He finds his
masks and places it on, and we see Robin's eyes roll back and are replaced by
these ghostly blue ones. At this point, nothing is really explained, and I
was just shocked by the visuals alone.
The screen goes black, and not we are within this factory type place,
following the manufacturing of an andriod type of being. This sequence is
incredibly well done, and probably my favorite of the film. It's Haley, and
we see his father/creator for the first time, whose name escapes me now. He
introduces his new kid to his wife, who is a little wierd herself, but her
face lights up when she sees him for the first time. At this point,
everything around where the mom lives looks like a beautiful, country-home
type place in a suburban setting, which it is, for a little while at least.
We follow Haley through his childhood briefly, and there is a funny part
during his birthday where he gets into a philosophical discussion about why
he should blow out the candles with his dad, who is like a super-smart
scientist (Haley was worried about pollution from the candle smoke, and the
dad lied to him saying they were oxygen producing birthday candles). The
mother was always there, but you could sense some isolation between Haley
(who is called David, strangely, his name is never really said) and his
mother. Until, he get's Teddy in another birthday.
Teddy is by far the funniest and cutest characters in awhile that I've
seen, and he was a really good comic foil to his mother, who has this
plastered straight face throughout the film. Teddy, I think, is completely
CGI realized, and I was amazed that you couldn't really tell him from the
fake from the real, it was completely seamless. Now, this is where Robin
William's narration picks up at, and he, I suppose, is speaking as though he
were David, but I'm not sure, maybe he thinks he is David because he is
inside of his mind in the V.R. Well, it seems that the rift between his
mother and he is growing larger, and she begins ignoring him altogether, and
he turns to Teddy for all the affection. Teddy is not all there though
because he sometimes answers a question with a question (One time, David asks
him what love is, and teddy says something like, "Is love what love really
is?"). David tries being a normal kid too, and is warned by his mother that
the world is a terrible and gruesome place, and he looks out the window and
sees roses swaying in the breeze, so she is obviously lying to him, or is
she? David begins to distrust her, and he sees even less of his father (He
is busy testing and constructing different do-gads and hickeys, and we never
really see what it is he is working at, only that he is working and ignoring
his family, is what it seems like).
Finally, David decides to escape his life one day, after his mother tears
up a stack of his drawings in a heart-breaking moment while he is trying to
say he loves her. He grabs teddy and takes, oh yes, he takes these cool pair
of goggle glasses that his mother uses to look up the news and such (amazing
CGI graphics here, showing the internet in something like 300 years from now,
I forgot the date, everything is in symbolic representation and can be
flipped like cards in a deck, it's really quite fascinating and I wished they
would have shown more here). Well, he escapes, and his mother has a change
of heart I guess and tries to contact the husband, who at this time is giving
a speech to some businessmen. He is demonstrating the latest line of
androids, and this one really foxy android is being displayed (yes, no
clothing), and he presses some buttons and her face explodes out and shows
these little innerworking electronic instruments, and then passes around her
'brain' I guess. Well, after that, he goes into his office and hears some
crying, and it's his wife! I thought, oh shit, how did she get there, and
after they have a yelling match about David, with her saying how she cant
stand him anymore, she turns around and dissolves as a hologram would do
(very cool visuals) into the wall.
We go back to David who is still running away from home, and he is really
getting no where, because the neighborhood he lives in extends for miles and
miles, and he never reaches an end. He finally is exhausted and reaches a
house under construction, and teddy says he can smell fear. This part is
really intense, as David is freaking out, throwing boards and bricks around,
and finally sits down and starts to cry. Teddy is freaked out too, and he
tries to 'make things better' and putting bricks up and boards back where
they were. Just then, he collapses into the floor, and we hear a rushing
sound, sort of like a whistling. David gets up and looks down, and sees
Teddy hanging on for dear life as the world beneath him looks like some kind
of smog-ladden hell. He grabs for teddy, but teddy slips and descends (with
a blood curdling scream), into the dust cloud below. David is crying now,
screaming for Teddy, and finally decides to jump down after him.
This is probably where millions of dollars in CGI went into, because he
see from David's perspective, him falling through this smog layer, into and
through this futuristic city scape with floating billboard and holographic
signs, with flying vehicles everywhere. He slides down this building's side,
after what seems a minute (and I noticed, that the holographic symbol ontop
of this building looked a lot like the company symbol his dad works at, and
he descends even further until he reaches the very very bottom, which is
raining at this point. All turns black, and there is a point where we hear
the strange number speaking beings from the beginning only briefly. Then we
see David floating down in the middle of some blackness, and he has a dream
about his mother, who disappears and reappears, and sees his house floating
by him (this part reminded me of the Wizard of OZ when dorothy has her dream
about the tornado, and maybe this is what Speilberg and Co. had in mind with
this). He is eventually salvaged by this crab like robot, who is I guess a
scavenger at the bottom of this lake in the middle of the city. He is taken,
by way of a 'dump-climber', a vehicle that climbs some poles and has a
compartment in the back that carries trash and other debris. He is placed in
this garbage holder vessle, that is strangely hanging off the side of one of
the skyscrappers, and this part is really cool because we see other
vehicle/bug like things climbing and crawling over the buildings.
David regains consciousness and remembers that he must find Teddy, so, he
climbs out of the garbage and jumps onto a 'dump-climber' type of vehicle,
and rides it to the top of one building. He get's off and proceeds to walk
the 'street's of what looks like a major metropolis ( I suspected New York,
and was right when I saw the taxi cabs and eventually the Statue of Liberty).
The streets are lining the top of the buildings, and in this sequence, it
reminds me a lot of Phantom Menace and it's superopolis. He runs around,
frantically, looking for Teddy, and there is a funny moment where he is
getting chased by some camera-like robot (we later learn and see him on the
TV screen later, I guess they have robots who make T.V. shows in the future)
and jumps from car to car in effort to escape this creature. He is
eventually caught for evading entertainment (which I guess is a crime in the
future!) and we see all the people who were watching him run go from smiling
and laughing to crying and sad within just a moment and he is asked if he is
Orga or Mecha. He is confused by the question and is escorted to the Mecha
portion of the police station, where we see a blue android type of being with
huge arms pummel and attack several police officers, who proceed to shock it
into submission (I was sort of sad to see it treated so badly).
He is pushed, really hard (he smashes into the wall) into a holding cell,
and just lies down and cries. Looking up, he sees these half human, half
machine type of creatures (some of them look completely human) and he at
first is shocked by them. He askes them all, kind of pathetically, if they
had seen Teddy, but they all have no clue. By this time,we see several other
machines pushed into the same cramped cell, and I myself started to hate
humans (they treat the machines like shit!). Well, long story short, he
meets Giggolo Joe (the Jude Law character), and he is sitting aloof in the
corner, and David is drawn to him because he says he knows where Teddy is.
He asks David if Teddy was a Mecha, and David doesn't know and starts crying
again, and Joe gives him a hug.
Well, Joe gets his parole or something (a flying bot enters the cell and
produces a pink slip, which says that he is free), and by this time, David
and him have a sort of bond forming. David has by now calmed down (I think a
year passed, but I'm not sure, and David never ages by the way) and is now
everyone's friend. He get's his slip one night, and it kicked out into the
streets again, where we see that same damn eye-robot again! He follows right
up next to David, and David runs again, he finally gets in a cab and escapes
from the bot. The Cab takes him up, way up, and they stop someplace, but
David has no money so he runs from the cab. The cabbie gets out but is
immediately knocked out by the eye-bot creature who jumps from the top (that
sneaky bastard was on the roof the whole time!!) and David keeps running.
David runs into this wierd robot red-light district place, and he runs up
some stairs into a hallway. David is not even breathing, which I found
strange and this whole time he is breathless. In the hallway, we see the
eye-bot charge him, the eyeball red with rage (really quite scary), and this
fist comes out of no where and the eye-bot's lense explodes, right in front
of David. It's his buddy, Giggolo Joe! Long story short again(I know guys,
this is a lot of detail, but I just have to relate this all) and they hitch
up and begin a sort of father-son friendship thing. Joe is really aloof to
this relationship though, and it's heartbreaking because David really loves
his new friend. He forgets about Teddy for a long time, and him and Joe (Joe
has a plan to leave the city and his life and go live on an island someplace
in the 'ocean'. They finally do leave, and the outside world really is bleak
and dirty (piles of trash go for miles).
Well, Joe is on the run from some humans who found out he was actually a
robot when they had,um, relations with him, so they hitch up with this rogue
band of humans, sort of in the vein of mad max thunderdome, but with wierd
spray paint and mechanical devices on them (bionic?). They stay in the human
camp and go to a festival/gladiator rink place for entertainment I guess.
This part is really hard to describe, because it really hit me emotionally.
There is this open pit place where robots are forced to face off each other
(one face off showed two bots ripping each of limb from limb, black oil
shooting out of their wounds instead of red blood). Well, David and Joe are
sitting in the crowd, and they are watching the event, when they bring out
some familiar robot creature to fight, which happens to be Teddy. Teddy is
forced to fight with this evil black looking helmeted robot thing with sharp
claws, and David runs down to the edge of the rink to try and stop the fight.
Joe runs after and covers his mouth so that he doesn't scream out, and teddy
sees David for a brief moment before he is shredded to death. David finally
goes out and collects Teddy's shredded remains and cries into them (trust me,
there wasn't a dry eye in the theater at this point).
Well, the humans start to suspect foul play, and they call on Joe to
fight with a robot, after the same black robot goes up to him and Joe just
pushes the creature across the rink like it was nothing. David and Joe now
have to face off several creatures who come out, one of them that looks like
the fucking green hulk, but they manage to escape by climbing onto a some
motorcycles after they flee under the staduim place. They flee into the
forest area and the human chase after them in a great sequence that rivals
the Return of the Jedi/Endore moon hover cycle sequence. They eventually
find a place to sleep, and Joe and David are now closer than ever, with Joe
singing lullabyes to David and rocking him to sleep. This is where the story
slows down a bit, and they do some flashbacks to the 20th century as Joe
tells David the story of how robots were made (a very interesting montage of
images). In the morning, David and Joe go out and look for some other
friendlier life (funny, they never talk about food), and they meet some
forest creatures (at this point, I dont know or trust what is mecha or what
is really biological!) They find a house, of what seems like they walked for
50 years, at least, that's the way the sequence shows, but it may have been a
few weeks or days since they never age. Inside the house, we meet an older
guru type of guy who dispenses these strange sayings like "Those who give
life, give death life as well", and that's the only one I can remember. He
ends up being the creator of A.I., after David does some snooping around the
house and finds robots and volumes of books written, what looks like in hand
and in code. The guru explains that this is the code for consciousness, and
is now owned by a company in the city ( I assume he is talking about the
company his father works at). Making a long story short again, Joe, David,
and the unnamed Guru decide to leave by way of this super vehicle (blue), and
fly into the city to go to this home for wayward droids, as the Guru details
to them.
The place they actually go is a deactivating dump within the building his
father works at, and Joe and David together fight their way out and decide to
pay his father a visit. They crash in on the dad as he is making love to a
Digi-Gal (a robot prostitute I guess), and they kidnap the dad and try to
force him to end his company and regime (apparently, and this is evident
throughout the film, that mechas are considered sub-human and are treated
like shit), and the dad tries a 180-turnaround and cries to David that he
really loved him all along, and that since his wife couldn't have kids they
made a son robot (a really touching moment). Well, it seems that the dad was
a benedict arnold, and calls up some guardian bots to kill Joe and David.
They fight them off in a spectacular battle that ends up on the roof of the
building (the name is still unsaid, only a bright holographic design), and
the dad ends up being killed by Joe, who is fatally wounded himself from a
battle with his dad (who had on bionic arms which increased his strengh
ten-fold). Joe is about to die, and David is frightened beyond words, so he
goes and gets a flying craft to bring Joe up to the home where he lives.
He
gets Joe aboard and looks up to what looks like a brilliantly glowing tree
that stands herculian over the cityscape. It is apparently a tree that holds
in individual holographic biomes where David originally lived. They crash
through the bottom of one and the hole they create gets larger and larger,
and they reach David's home finally. David looks over to Joe and he has
almost died, and Joe whispers to him that he sees a light and feels the
presence of God. David gets out of the craft (which is parked on his front
lawn), and we see his mother watering the 'roses', and he approaches her
slowly. The music here is striking, and Haley does an excellent job
delievering the emotional cues (this should garner him a much deserved
Academy Award). Just as he reaches his mother, the sky and their world
disappears into the outside world, which is of course emersed in the dark
haze of dust.
Finally, the water and the roses disperse in a cool particle
faze-out thing, and they are left holding each other, having found their
eternal love at last. The camera then pulls back from his mother's
expression, and then pans to David's face looking straight into the camera,
as the outlines of his features spray out white rays of light, and the world
turns blinding white as the mask Robin Williams put on in the beginning
floats off of his face, and he holds it tenderly, then casts it off into the
V.R. world. This is the very end of the film, as he looks upwards and the
light emerses his body, then there is a message for Stanely Kubrick by Steven
that goes something like "The stars will be blessed with your brilliance good
friend," and the credits start up, saying Concieved of by Stanely Kubrick,
then directed by Spielberg, and I suppose this is because Kubrick had died
before this project was made (as I had learned later through research into
this movie after having seen it). Steven made an emotional statement after
the viewing and I think everyone was touched to the point of crying (as was
I).
Well, I'm really tired at this point, and if you think this movie will be
great, you are absolutely correct, so make your own judgements. Thank you
for reading,
Yours,
Anonymous fan.
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+ Expand All
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WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!DID i READ THIS
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this movie sounds like crap, what a let down
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WOW...I read the first 3 paragraphs...and was too scared to read on...as i scrolled down to read the last comments...i SHUT MY EYES for fear of knowing too much
Steven will be mad that this is online. -
Hmmm, what surprised me was how similar this is to the rumours of Kubricks draft which have been kicking around for 10 years. I guess sometimes there is truth in these things...
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It just sounds like a plant to make me believe this is going to be great. I dunno -- just something about it, you know? I'm looking forward to A.I., but I doubt the veracity of this report.
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Maybe I'm an idealist, but I really don't think Spielberg needs to have studio plants hyping his movies. This seems legit to me. Of course, I only read a couple paragraphs and the very last one./
I'm really getting psyched about this film. Someone needs to save this summer./
You can bet Ole' Steve will NOT be happy about this. No matter how flattering the review is! -
My understanding, from an earlier report, was that David didn't run away, he was abandoned in the woods. This is supported by the TV spot were we see David and Mom driving through the woods. Mom looks guilty and David is show being embraced by a group of bots with a look of abandonment.
Also, wasn't there a supposed to be a depiction of the flooding of New York, cause by the "warming". And no mention of the "Flesh Fair" was in the report. There are a few other inconsistancies, and the bit about the Camera Bot and Evasion of Entertainment seems a little hokey to me.
This thing has an air of schenanagans about it. -
I finally read it. Wow. Spielberg has done it again. Teddy getting ripped to shreds sounds awesome. even if it turns out to be bogus, I still liked this review. Copied and pasted it to MS Word for my reading pleasure.
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I was weak and read it all, and now I hate myself. Save others the shame -- remove the article.
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Let those who want to read the spoilers read those sections by highlighting - but leave any non-spoiler activity there. I know that this will probably look like a CIA report on who killed JFK, but COME ON!!!
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May 29, 2001 10:21:17 AM CDT
Deac Speaks..... i didn't read anything below the first paragrap
by deacon
i didn't read all of it so i can't judge whether it's a plant or not but speilberg? use plants? that'll be the day... like a speilberg directed, kubrick written film NEEDS hype! i wanted the guy who seen the movie's thoughts and rating..but was scared to read on so i just came to the talkback and from what i understand the story is unbeleivably great, completly different from what anyone thinks, and mind numbingly great... i know for a fact Star Wars Episode One: The Phantom Menace would have been better to watch, for me at least, had i NOT known everything about it before it's release.. i learned hard that spoilers ruin a movie.. the impact is lost and everything.. do not read that above report! it will maybe change your thoughts of the movie to "that wasn't very good" or perhaps "that was alright i guess" i don't wanna know the whole freaking movie dammit! i wanna know the plot, what the effects were like, what the acting was like, if it was good, and how it will be perceived by the world.... not a fucking detailed minute by minute scene description.. and while thats not what it was, he still gave away too much.. i myself could have hidden many many spoilers in this report had i written it, yet still got my point across... and Harry if you are reading this.. i enjoy your site.. but you have no integrity when it comes to film secrecy... Coming Attractions and TheForce.net white out spoilers so you have to swipe.. i can get the viewers feelings and thoughts yet not read any spoilers... why don't you do this? it makes no sense harry
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This is Big Stan Kubrick pulling the best Lazarus in the history of movies. It's Steven Spielberg reminding us, after far too long, that he's STEVEN FUCKING SPIELBERG!!! Along with the reissues of 'Apocalypse Now' and of course '2001', this is the only movie that matters in 2001! I so want to see this RIGHT NOW!
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This review is the real deal I suspect and from what I have just read this sounds like it will be an amazing film..though the review gives to much away...This film may never had seen the light of day after Kubrick died and I for one am thankful Steven Speilberg has put some of Kubrick's vision up on the screen for us to bask in.
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If it is real, it sure sounds like a disjointed, lame story. I can't say that this review got me excited in any way to see this movie.
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They run into the Dad schtuping the robot whore. DUH! Anyhow, this review is great. I love spoilers. There's nothing surprising anymore anyhow. The real surprises lie in execution. I can't wait to see this film. Why is everyone getting so upset? The damned article has a spoiler warning on it already. It makes me laugh how people are saying "Oh, this is obviously fake" because it doesn't jibe with some other rumor they've heard. Thank you very much to the dude who posted this thing. BTW, Spielberg knows there's such a thing as the Internet. If he's mad about this article, he shouldn't have screened the film in the first place.
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For a film student at USC (the most logical school as it is a major film school as well as Senor Spielbergo's alma matter), this guy does not seem to know shit about movies.
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Don't worry. I know for a fact this review is totally made up. Very imaginative I must say.
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This is absolutely fake. I can't believe you people are so trusting. I don't why this person spent so much time coming up with this fake story, but it is completely false. Of course I can't say why/how I know this so you'll just have to trust me. Or not, go ahead and believe this yutz. But, on June 29th you'll know which one of us was lying!!!
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I'm so smart! S-M-R-T! Er, aw fuck it, I'm going back to read it.
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This sounds more manipulative than three Private Ryans and a Hook, but damnit, it sounds good.
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This may be fake but I doubt it. It's too detailed and has too many major points right. The first third is on target with what co-writers Aldiss, Watson, Maitland have said about the film.
Two, stop with the spoiler whining. Don't read it if you don't want to. If the movie is great, then it can stand on its own no matter what you know. We've all seen Clockwork and Strangelove lots of times yet we keep watching it because they're that fantastic. So deal.
Third, the ending is total Spielberg. Kubrick didn't have David meet his mother in real time, he wanted her and David conjured up from his memories by the future scientists and then at the last second not able to reconcile with her. But that was in the mid-90s, so Kubrick might have changed his mind.
Lastly, Kubrick wanted to make a movie that would make us love robots. And it seems Spielberg did that completely. Though in parts it sounds like he over-did it, the death of Teddy specifically, I imagine this'll be pretty good and will do amazingly well.
My two cents. -
Seriously. Take my word for it.
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People who swear that the review is bullshit, and claim they know why, should either state how they know it's fake or shut the hell up. They're as annoying as people who state their first.
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May 29, 2001 1:14:11 PM CDT
How many movies of robots wanting to be huiman can one person ta
by mr glass
First there was blade runner which was good, then there was D.a.r.y.l which was okay, then there was the not quite human tv mini movies on disney that were for kids then there was that godawful bicentennial man with that godawful Robin Williams. And there are countless cartoons about robots wanting to be human like astroboy and Key the metal idol as well as a lot more. Fucking AI sounds promising and the ads are very enticing but I don't like that creepy kid and I do like Jude law but his costume is terrible!!!! this sounds like another hook to me. Kubrick must be turning in his grave!
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I shouldnt have read this.
But it was riveting none the less.
I can't wait to see it for real. I hope that the visuals and emotions that were spinning in my head as I was reading the article, are surpassed by the movie itself. -
Why is it fake? Because the storyline of the movie is completely different from what this bozo reports excepting a few points here and there taken OUT OF CONTEXT from trailers and other sources. Am I here to write an outline of what the story really is? Hell, no, but this is a hilariously made-up joke of a story that has fuck-all to do with the movie that's coming out this summer.
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here's the reviewer saying right up front that he couldn't quite get his whole mind around the movie, and that he just has to blurt it all out because it affected him so much. And I read the whole thing, and I don't mind the Spoiling. Matrixy robots will look fake and Matrixy. People robots will look like people. and the ending will be ambiguous! Now, I normally don't mind it when a movie leaves you thinking and scratching your head a little bit (hey, I'm Donnie Smith, y'know) BUT I just gotta say that after reading the article above, I totally Don't Get the Ending. Are they together? Was it real? What the fuck!
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First possibility - the spoiler is a fake: in that case, we don't have to fear that the movie = the cheesiest parts of BLADE RUNNER and BICENTENNIEL MAN. Second possibility - the spoiler is NOT a fake: in that case, the movie combines the worst-remembered traits of Kubrick and the writing level Spielberg showed in "1941." If it's truly this overblown (Spielberg being 'overblown' - imagine that), I -can- wait for the DVD and the dollar movies. P.S. If this reviewer is going to Film School at USC, he should get his tuition refunded. If you went to UT-Austin, they would have taught you how to explain narrative strategies coherently. Frankly, I think this whole spoiler was another try at those website plants for this film already in play.
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Promise you'll keep/make this article available until/on June 29
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Obviously someone w/ a memory like that is either a robot, or wants to be a fiction writer. No way you remember that kind of detail. And learn to spell dammit! Weird (not wierd) for god's sake. Spelling it wrong once is being in a hurry. More than once you're an idiot, and distracting.
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...It doesn't address two things we *do* know about the movie -- David's brother, and the identity of David's creator. (Hint: it's not Mr. Swinton.)
The cover story doesn't make any sense, either. This guy didn't know anything about the film going in, and yet he's able to give a detailed scene by scene, almost frame by frame, summary of it afterward? Spielberg has this project wrapped in almost total secrecy, yet he arranges--and appears at!--a private screening for 20 film students, the demographic most likely to blab about it on the Net? The informant tells us enough about himself for the studio to ID him in a second--and yet he coyly won't tell us where he goes to school? This sounds more like one fanboy's wetdream than a legit report. -
...the University of Southern California. Why?
1. Spielberg's on the board of trustees or whatever.
2. Spielberg has an honorary degree, as he was rejected four times from USC for low GPA.
3. Spielberg is one HELL of a donor to the school, the new theater or school is named for him.
4. USC = Best Film School in the Nation. "Known for film", that's USC.
Simple.
Later.
RJS -
I read the first paragraph and stopped when I realized he was just retelling the entire story by rote and not really offering any opinion on it. My god, the review is practically the length of a short story. It takes more effort to read the whole damn thing than it does to avoid it. I really don't see why anyone is interested in this movie, anyway. It's Spielberg. It'll be cutesy and feel-good and touchy-feely. And it'll blow big time. Maybe not as bad as Pearl Harbor, but on a different level. Spielberg and Bay have at least one thing in common. They are both full-blooded Hollywood.
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Well, there we go. Broadly speaking, it is similar to the outline Kubrick had developed. But that shouldn't be a surprise. What's very different, I am prepared to bet my balls, is the quality of the finished product. Anybody can pilfer a plot from a passed-on genius (Apocalypse Now from Orson Welles work, for example) and change it or not change it, the inheritor still has to make the damn thing. And that's where AI would have fallen to pieces. Spielberg's a fucking chimp, frankly. His camerawork makes me gag, his actors are pumped for the most bland of histrionics (if you see what I mean) and any piece of production design he will rubber stamp is guaranteed to be some trite piece of sixth form bullshit. Hence Stan Winstons laughable scuttle-bots and the 'it's the future, it must feature asiatic symbols' set dressing. It's of some relevance that while Kubrick would have spent at least a couple more years in preproduction on this film before letting principal photography start, Spielberg has knocked it out while the poor chap's corpse is still cooling. Frankly, everything I've seen of this film makes me want to hurt somebody bad. I hope that chap with the razor blades and masking tape springs his cell soon. He might have been mad, but it would have saved us from this load of old shite. What a waste of some good ideas, some good work and a whole fucking truck load of dollars.
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Your trusting of this crap of a review is nothing short of embrassing.
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and why? Does Manhattan represent intelligence or something?
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This may be the only thing that'll blot out the mind-slime that was Pearl Harbor this summer/autumn. I'm resisting this temptation accordingly, but I still think this should be removed now that the first wave of readers has made their decision. I don't want to succumb later after a few beers. Of course, what I just said is both patronising (Won't somebody PLEASE think of the children!!) and sad (only a movie after all) but, hey, that's me.
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We'll know soon enough, but I'm not risking it..
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If this is the real deal then i agree with some of the other talkbackers - it is fucking lame of Harry to allow it onto the site.
There was no blow by blow on Pearl Harbor before it's release.I wish someone would've ruined that for me - i wouldn't have given a shit - but this? Whoever the cocksmoker is that posted i, they should be assfucked by a train.
i think that it's fake - Spielberg has busted his ass keeping this films secrets -
there's no way they'd even have test screening, let alone a university film geek screening - why bother?It's the most anticipated film this year.
But i do know one thing - considering it's Speilberg's first all-out foray into sci fi - it'd be just like him to go and redefine modern sci fi cinema - and possibly secure something other than technical oscar nods - a first for a major sci fi film.
I think it will fucking blow your minds. -
This is fake and Harry knows it. I look to this page for assistance when I think I am a geek. Thanks guys...I aint as bad as I thought.
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"and I suppose this is because Kubrick had died before this project was made (as I had learned later through research into this movie after having seen it)"
Hmmm. Kubrick, Dead? when? Im a film student, yet i dont remember the great one passing, while one of the richest directors in the world (and may i add, former student of my school) takes over his final project. I' never really heard of this "A.I" movie, yet i read and contribute to AICN,
This guys a fucking liar. Kubrick would never have a "final fight" between two important charactors...it makes it seem like some half assed super hero flick. I will not believe this story, Its a cheap ending. It cheats the moviegoer, and leads to convention.
Harry could you possibly give us a little extra info that a screening occured or not?, or anything like that, because i dont believe this allged film student.
AND WHERES THE REVIEWS ON Jay and Silent Bob strikes bacK??? WHERE??
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I was one of 800 extra's in the flesh fair scene. The stuff I witnessed first hand is not in this guys review. so it seems like a fake to me.
just my two cents. -
you're being fucked with a square dick without the vasaline.
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May 29, 2001 6:50:35 PM CDT
One word, and a single letter sum up my response to Moriarty.
by dignin2
"FUCKIN A"
Right on. I will not see this hunk of shit. Im not giving my 9 dollars to a company which forces thier product upon the masses. The Mouse has done about everything to me but Rape my mother...which i will not be suprised if that does happen. Everyone i work with thinks theres something wrong with me because i dont want to see Pearl Harbor, Yes, Iwant to spend my hard earn money on pretty lights, and a sugar coated history leasson with a love story to make money off the 13 yr old female crowd, violence for the 12-25 yr old male crowd, set on the backdrop of american history to draw in the seniors... This film was made to make money. Not break to even, or have any artistic purpose, its a commercial.
I am a film student. And one day i wish to make a film that does something for people...makes them think, make them feel real emotions, not the false kind Disney forces you to feel with a lead pipe.
If i change one persons thoughts, or inspire one person through my art, the thousands of dollars and personal time i spent will be well worth my trouble.
thank you. -
Didn't anyone pay attention to the damn review. Everyone keeps questioning this guys "film student" status. Well if you READ the review. He says he's a PSYCHE major. Thanks. BTW. The fact that there are spoilers doesn't make this a bad review. I mean, we still collectively have no idea what this movie will be like. We have a slight description. This is a movie that will revolve around design, not story (Blade Runner anyone?) I'm NOT a Spielberg fan, I think he's the devil, unfortunatly I can never stop myself from seeing his movies. Poor Me.
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Take it easy Dig...film schools need janitors too....
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Even if this recounting of the film was 20 minutes after getting back from the viewing, Martin would be presumably an important character and hard to forget. I've been really excited for this film and hope that this review is fake, cause I'm kind of disappointed.
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They are advertising this movie totally wrong. This seems darker then the commercials indicate. Until I read this I thought it was just like Pinochio with robots. This review didnt really spoil it for me because it sounds mostly visual. I guess you can add this to the list of movies I want to see.
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May 29, 2001 7:47:17 PM CDT
Did anyone actually read that crap? What the hell was this dude
by psyclops
I read that whole thing and now my brain hurts. It's like trying to decipher the rantings of a lunatic... I was so fucking confused by the end of it that I had to chug down a bottle of aspirin to prevent my head from exploding. If half of what he says is true, this movie sounds way too stupid and bizarre to be worth my time (I'm only saying that because the description of the movie he gave sounded like complete shit). I'm hoping A.I. is better than that. Or that this guy is so excited by the movie he saw that he decided to string up descriptions of nonsense for the AICN crew. Whatever.
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This guy says he is a psychology major at a university, but he writes like an eighth grader.
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May 29, 2001 9:41:54 PM CDT
You guys,... this is all part of that mysterious online game!!!!
by psyclops
DUDE! If you count all of his misspellings and grammatical errors and put them all into one sentence...it forms a message: "E-v-a-n__C-h-a-n__w-a-s__m-u-r-d-e-r-e-d___R-o-b-e-r-t B-l-a-k-e___d-i-d___i-t" ---Holy crap! I knew there was a meaning to all of this! WWW.THEVISIONARY.NET,... if that crazy woman yells at me one more time I'm gonna reach through the computer screen and fry her wireworks myself!
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May 29, 2001 10:15:13 PM CDT
Real or not, like it or not, "Anonymous Fan" has been chosen as
by removed_user
"Joe and David together fight their way out and decide to pay his father a visit. They crash in on the dad as he is making love to a Digi-Gal..." <-WHAT-THE-FUCK?
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I dont know personally, but I think this whole issue with the Evan Chan and the online mystery has got to be the closest thing to moronic as you can get, and all of you piteous morons have bought into it. As for the so-called 'review', it seems as if this could logically be the entire story, but why would he be afraid of telling us his school, or his name? Seems like anonymous is under some kind of Dreamworks scare tactic; are they threatening those who see the advance screening of this film with bodily harm, bamboo shoots under the toenails and all? Also, so many of you are quick to think this is a fake...I wouldn't be too sure, omission of the Martin character may mean that he's just not that important enough to mention, or memorable. It peeves me to no end to see so many talkbackers flap their gums about how fake something is, especially when they haven't even seen the final product to compare how 'fake' the account really is. So, Im not so convinced by ya'll, and you're just going to have to try harder. And btw, for jeebuses sake Harry, try give us an eject button before posting something of this magnitude next time!!
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Oh wow, look at you, a whole sentence under your belt. This Anonymous guy looks like Tolstoy compared to your pathetic ass.
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this is one movie that i want to be as completely a surprise as i can have it be. that means NO SPOILERS for me. true as it may be that this review is FAKE, i don't want to know what happens, before my little white ass is seated in a darkened theater wathcing the film for the 1st time. besides i let myself get so caught up in all the excitement over the BTVS finale, that i was a bit disappointed when the fanatasy and the reality turned out to differ greatly, i.e. only 1 hour long, and no major cast reunions. but hey you live you learn. Speilberg really needs a big sci-fi flavored hit after he dropped the ball on JP2. the man's a genius, and Haley J.O. is an amazing actor, even for one of his age. this movie definitely has potential to blow away all the hollywood fodder we can expect this summer, and IF it fails, at least i won't have all these images of what could've been floating thru my head, as i dejectedly leave the theater. but here's hoping that will NOT be such.
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First off, no shit this review is a fake. No way that Kubrick would've wanted to make that version of AI, and Spielberg eventually did. But whatever. You know what really bugs me? The amount of insults that fly around here in talk back. What's the point of insulting someone in here? Chances are you don't know the person, so you can't make a rational assumption on the kind of person they are. And if you ever saw that person in real life, you would never say that to their face. The only reason people insult others in here is because they're incredibly insecure. Now that I've got that off my chest, I really want to see this movie. Say what you will, but Spielberg can be a terrific film maker. Just give the guy a chance. What's the worst that will happen if you don't like it? You'll forget about it and go watch something else.
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You know what a professionally-run, responsible film review site would do once it discovered a review it posted was fake? TAKE IT DOWN!! It has no business being here if it's been confirmed it's a fake! By prominently displaying this loser's work of fiction at the top of your page, you're glorifying his stupidity. He's laughing with each new hit, every new post.. Remove this review and salvage some dignity!
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This should be taken down. It has nothing to do with movies (or the odd book).
One worrying trend is the amount of people who liked this story. This is why hollywood doesn't need to spent too much on writers... -
I really dont mind spoilers so I read this without a second thought. I dont know whether it's true or not and I we'll all find out when it opens but what pissed me off was that I could sometimes barely understand what was going on. I got bits and pieces but this guy doesn't know jack shit about giving a movie summary (that's really what it is, a bad one at that).
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This has to be complete and utter BS. There is absolutely no tie in for any of the background or hype that is going on all over the net for this picture. Have you guys seen the flashing red letters? Did you try plugging the AI Specialists name into google? There are some serious plot spikes that are completely missing from this supposed spoiler. If all this murder mystery stuff doesn't pan out, and this lame excuse of a storyline is the actual movie, it will be a sad day.
Karl -
Everyone should really lighten up.You all seem to be getting a bit to worked up about this whole thing.If its a fake,what can you do.Just sit back,take a deep breath and wait for the film to come out.Your all treating it like the second coming or something.CHILL!
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Brundlefly, Spielberg has made Sci-Fi before. Look at Close Encounters, ET, and Jurassic Park! AI is his first film set in the future though, so maybe that's what you meant.*******Well, you can really tell who the anti-Spielberg people are on an AI Talkback. I guess it's true what they say, people with opinions are like assholes . . . or something like that. Anyway, as a Spielberg fan, the only thing that worries me is that this film, being started by sometimes brilliant, sometimes insane Stanely Kubrick, is potentially going to be a colossal downer. That's not what I like to see in a theater, but that said I like movies like Ran and The Dead Zone and they didn't exactly have happy endings either. Still, I'm expecting AI to be one of those deeply upsetting movies that hurt to watch one way or another. I'm sure it'll be good because I like Spielberg and Kubrick HAS to have done something good with his last years other than make Eyes Wide Shut. I don't agree with the acid-spewing detracters of Spielberg's, but then I guess I'm just one more asshole, so what does it matter?*****THANK YOU, MORIARTY! Okay, it's not like you alone discovered this "SPOILER FILLED MESSAGE" was a fake, but you bring good news. I wasn't going to read this bitch, but when I read your little update so I skimmed through it. Whew, am I glad it's a fake. What the hell is up with all these "long story short" transitions? Did he want to suggest the movie is tedious and circles around a point forever, getting side tracked with meaningless . . . oh wait, that was his review! And a "big battle" between a cyborg William Hurt and a father-figure robot Jude Law? I think when AI comes out and Harry reviews it, he should add a link to this story just so we can compare them. I mean, if AI even approaches this kind of shitty hokum, well, I just don't want to think about it. Skip that link, Harry, this guy doesn't deserve any more of our time.
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so you admit it's a fake, yet still don't take it down -- aicn is quickly losing any shred of credability it had...
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THERE ARE way TOO MANY DETAILS AND RAMBLING WHICH OCCURS WHEN TRYING TO REMEMBER SOMETHING. OF COURSE I COULD BE WRONG BUT I BELIEVE THIS IS LEGIT.
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On the Jaws DVD Spielberg said he likes to see audience reaction. He wouldn't sit in the front, he'd be in the back to see the audience reaction.
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Any hope you have that the film will be better than this charade are sadly misplaced. The teddy death scene: we'll certainly see something similar. Think of the explosion of ideas in the concept - boy and teddy meeeting in the middle, neither alive, both capable of synthetic signs of lvoe - and imagine it reduced to tear-jerk-off. That's what happens when the somebody like Spielberg inherits a project from somebody like Kubrick. What we have seen for certain - tv spots and stills - don't so much bode ill as bead dead, putrified and damned to hell. I can't wait until I get to see this crock of shite first hand.
Poor Stanley. -
Okay, so I've got to gloat just a tad here I was the first to call this fake... well, a fake! So, there! (to no one in particular...)
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I got a glimpse of a A.I.review on AINTITCOOLNEWS 'Epinions' Section. What you think? The url is: http://aintitcool.epinions.com/content_24047554180?tk=CB008.1.1
Let's debate on more solid stuff! -
certainly sounds more plauisble. is that simply because it is less detailed?
directionless and muddled? quelle surprise!
films that don't go anywhere are a spielberg speciality - but at least they go there with auditoriums full of popcorn chomping morons? To borrow from David Mamet's famous Schindler's List dismissal, AI sounds like mandingo for robots. Which, if you think about it, is a laughably bad idea. Running out of anything actual to exploit, sir?
Ahem. It's time for me to go. But I'll ask again what I asked before: why on earth does anybody rate Speilberg? -
Hmmm, I could have told you it was fake right after the comment about "getting lost in NYC" when NYC will be underwater in the film...
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Ya know, I'm a big fan of Harry's - at least the old, pre-Hollywood-ized Harry. Lately it just seems that things have been slipping left & right on this site - "good sources" not being checked out, a LOT of false info being billed as genuine (usually without verification).
Harry, when you post something as legit, without verifying the source(s), and it turns out to be bogus, you look like an unprofessional fool. I'm guessing that Harry's probably not even reading any of the TalkBacks (whether out of shame, or because he's too busy waiting by the phone for Hollywood to call, is a coin toss).
I think Harry's lost sight of the reasons behind the "success" of AICN. -
Well - I'm glad the above review is fake, because although it was interesting.... it didn't make for the best story I've ever heard!
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My first indication that this movie will be awesome was when I heard Denis Muren passed up doing Episode II to do some R&D for A.I.
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Good God! I am going blind! I don't want to read anymore. That was *way* too much information about this movie. I had to stop reading it about half way through the article because I could feel my interest in AI just drop off exponentially each second I read further. I doubt this synopsis is really based on the movie, but if it is, than I hope two things are true as well: 1) I hope the reviewer is smitten with some rare incurable rash that breaks out with itchy pustules in the most dark and warmest of places on the human body, because he just about singlehandedly ruined the film for countless devoted readers of this site by writing this drivel, and 2) I hope he did such a poor job of reviewing the movie that it is actually a lot better than it sounds. This was THE movie I was looking forward to seeing all winter long, and I made the mistake of reading into this review thinking that there would be maybe one or two plot details that would be revealed, but not the entire movie from beginning to end. Argh! I have been punished for my curiosity.
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Oh thank thee for granting me one more chance. I will never, NEVER read spoiler-ridden reviews again. I have learned my lesson and will now spend the next week punishing myself by wearing a horse-hair sweater, flogging myself with a cat-of-nine-tails, and watching every Michael Bay film ever made.
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Check this url: http://aintitcool.epinions.com/content_24047554180?tk=CB008.1.1
This seems to be a real account of a sneak preview screening.
Surprised no one talked about. -
Hi everyone, I'm new, heard a lot of cool things about this site, so I wanted to join in. I don't know about you guys, but I'm glad I read the spoiler, because somebody just saved me six months waiting for A.I. to come out on video and $6 on a movie ticket as well. You see, I'm not a theatre guy, because it's real cramped sitting in those seats and those bratty kids throwing popcorn everywhere, the movie just isn't worth it. I prefer just making the trip to Blockbuster, it's a lot better. Thanks to "anonymous fan", I got something to tide me over until then. Besides, I only see movies for the cool visual effects anyway, and this movie should have a lot. So, to "anonymous fan", wherever you are, thanks!
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I know for a fact that this review is a fake. For one thing Steven Spielberg does not test screen his movies to the general public. He is all so very tight lipped about this movie. So that review is a crock of shit. Here is a little information for you about Spielberg he did not attend USC. He never went to that school. He has given money to the school film program. His friend George Lucas went to that school.
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Oh, so that was fake, I didn't know that. Eh, maybe I'll just see A.I. in the drive-in. And just for the record: what a piece of work, that "letter". This guy's got a WAY overactive imagination and obviously has too much free time on his hands. Idiot. And if another spoiler comes, I'm just not going to read it, because spoilers are what ruined Survivor: The Austrilian Outback for me, I've decided I don't want one of the biggest blockbusters of the year ruined too.
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No one gives a shit, Brendon, about you and your silly little comments about Spielberg. Every filmmaker has a little group of pathetic souls who goes around saying nothing but hollow accusations about how bad that filmmaker is. Kubrick had them too, and it looks like Spielberg has you. So you can fill up the board with all your pathetic mumblings, but no one cares. They don't. No one gives a shit's worth about such a loser as you, Brendon. So why don't you go and join the other dozen of people who agree with you and leave us alone.
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I thought Spielberg's movies were dross when I was 8.
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I certainly hope this thing is a fake...cause it SUCKS! I'm a girl and stereotypically supposed to get all teary-eyed over the whole "widdle boy wants a fwiend" thing, but WHATEVER! If the movie turns out being anything this this POS reivew, I'm saving my money.
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This link posted by another backTalker is the real deal!
http://aintitcool.epinions.com/content_24047554180?tk=CB008.1.1
This is the real thing and doesn't spoil too much. I'm so glad someone finally came to their senses and realized that the above 'story' is bogus. Phew! What a piece 'o shit that was!
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