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Published on Wednesday, May 23, 2001 - 12:42am |
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PEARL HARBOR luster rusting'
Hey folks, Harry here and while Michael Bay's opening weekend seems assured... The movie tracking at near total awareness across the United States... Well, the word from the screenings is MIXED at best with a leaning towards negative... a pretty serious leaning. Everybody is blown away by the spectacle, but the problem most seem to be having is in the script and the performances of the leads... I see it tonight... I don't want to not like the film, but some of the problems I'm hearing... well they sound like problems, not opinions... We'll see though... to each his own eh?
You know, 200 million can do a lot of good in the world. It could feed
thousands of starving people. It can go towards cancer research. It can go
towards AIDS medicine in Africa. Schools can be built to help young minds
grow. It can also be thrown into the toilet that is the three hour P.O.S.
known as "Pearl Harbor". Let me get right to the point. This thing sucks.
Watching the screening of it on Tuesday night at the El Capitan theater in
Hollywood, I was crossing my fingers, hoping that something good was ahead
of me. No such luck.
The movie is basically "From Hear To Eternity" by way of "Tora, Tora, Tora"
by way of "Armageddon" by way of "Top Gun" by way of "Saving Private Ryan"
by way of a Pepsi Commercial by way of "Mars Attacks" by way of a Hallmark
Commercial/LDS infomercial put into an MTV blender and put on puree. Let us
not forget the dialogue courtesy of Webster's Big Book of Clichés. Cuba
Gooding Jr. wanders around this film making the best he can out of the
material but he is useless. Ben Affleck wonders around looking heroic. The
rest of the cast just walks around in stock Michael Bay slow motion while
every other shot hast to have a GRAAAAND CRANE or DOLLY and LOOOTS OF
SMOOOKE.
Don't get me wrong, the thing is going to kill at the box office thanks to
the marketing slaughter. But it will not get the repeat business that
"Titanic" did. Mostly because we could give a rats ass about any of the
characters, where as "Titanic" had a story with people we could care about.
This just gets so cheese-ball and sappy (especially the first nine hours or
so) that I was ready to split.
When the fireworks finally go off, then I must say, it's mighty
spectacular. But after a wile I just becomes the same old stuff. Even
explosions can run thin after a while.
All I can say is that it's sad that this movie was made at all. With the
recourses available to the people who made this film and this is what we
get. Michael Bay may be thinking he is making something greater than
"Private Ryan" but all we get is three hours of the
animal-cracker-in-the-panty scene from "Armageddon". It's obvious that the
guy can not tell a story, that he needs BIIIGGGGG explosions to get his
point across. Think I'm wrong? Put this same story in the hands of a
Soderberg or Scorsese or a master who understands that there are moments to
be loud, and moments to be subtle. Where here, even the subtle moments ARE
GRAAAAND!!!! Or let's see Bay try his hand at a film that has a 5 million
dollar budget, a story where he can't blow anything up. For get it.
Just as a special not to the folks who made this film as you read this,
which I know you will: Do us a favor and try to tell a story instead of
thinking you are going to win an Academy award because you are sinking more
ships that Cameron and blowing up more stuff than Spielberg. You will get
no where near an Academy award with this one, save for best sound. All you
are doing is having a pissing contest with your selves. And it shows. Yes
you will have a good opening weekend or two, but when you don't produce the
numbers you thought you would just remember why: Story is still everything,
no mater how much stuff you blow up.
Josh
Next we have RH...
in the interest of fairness, i have to say the preview
to this film is the best thing i've seen all year and
i started to realize i was going to be disappointed
long before the film began.
that said, i just got back from a screening and...
well... i told me so.
like all michael bay/jerry bruckheimer productions,
this is an amazingly striking movie visually with some
sort of script slapped onto it as an afterthought. i
was completely blown away with the camera angles, the
lighting, the cinematography, even the sound. michael
bay understands that film is an immersive genre and it
can be a sensory experience. the battle scenes in
this film are some of the most impressive feats of
special effects i can recall and evoke the thrill of
top gun in terms of sheer grit and realism.
the problem here is the script. apparently the
writers strike started early on this film. the love
triangle is a mess -- kate beckinsdale is beautiful.
her character conflict is her relationships seem to be
launched by the first romantic gesture that comes her
way. in this case, affleck and harnett both snag her
in their good looks and charm and seem to have nothing
more to offer but potential abandonment via war. the
villians, the japanese, are just a red menace in
disguise -- as the film tells it, there was no
motivation here for their all out attack on pearl
harbor except they thought they could do it. it had
no strategic import at all. not even FDR can stir the
heart strings this film desperately grasps for and
misses repeatedly. you won't believe how corny it is.
i'm still shaking my head. i can't tell you how many
times i laughed aloud at terrible, cheesy lines that
came spouting out of the cardboard characters on
screen. the film is a series of genre cliches --
affleck as the fly boy from top gun, the u.s.s.
arizona as the titanic, the japanese as unthinking
enemies bent on destruction like the aliens from
independence day... cuba gooding jr. literally
condenses his role in men of honor to about five
minutes of screen time.
overall, the best description of this movie i can give
you is it's a bimbo -- she's really sexy looking with
a great voice but you just don't want to have to pay
attention to the inane nonsense coming out of her
mouth. the movie, at 3 hours, started to feel like a
POW camp after a while. the actual bombing of pearl
harbor scenes are almost worth the torture of the
other two hours slapped around it. you'd think with
$140 mil budget, they could've put together a decent
script.
R.H.
And lest you think the word be all bad... au contraire mon ami, Chains likes it... likes it alot... Read....
Hey Harry,
I caught a screening of Pearl Harbor this morning here in Atlanta, and just wanted to toss in my two cents...
I have to put it in the context of a Bay/Bruckheimer production... meaning that we all know what to expect from those two fellas by now. I liked The Rock & Armageddon, and even kinda dug Bad Boys for it's style and look. But that's what these movies are really all about anyway, right? You have to go in knowing that you aren't going to get the character, reality and emotion of American Beauty or Shawshank Redemption. But Bay movies are some of the most beautiful and visually spectacular I've ever seen. I enjoy them for the "Holy Shit I can't believe what I'm seeing" moments... and I got more than my share of those in Pearl Harbor.
I basically sat there with my jaw to the floor during much of the 40-minute attack sequence. I mean, literally I caught myself saying "Holy F$#%" 3 or 4 times, and dammit, I see a lot of movies and that doesn't happen often. The air battles, the sheer magnitude of the Japanese attack and the devastation on the American fleet was just amazing. And I didn't get lost in what some of Bay's detractors call his "Attention-Deficit-Disorder" style of cutting. It was engaging.
Now the movie's not perfect, and I really wish that some day a director would come along with Bay's visual skills who also cared more about character development... someone who would insist on sharp, original dialogue... but until that day comes, we'll have to enjoy what he brings us. There were actually some pretty emotional moments... I sucked it up and held maybe a tear or two back (I occasionally drop a tear at really powerful war movies... "Glory" being the greatest example), but it's possible to become human during a few spots of this film, and I had to remind myself that it was a Michael Bay movie and I was probably being manipulated.
Oh, and by the way... regarding those parts that were "reminicent" of Titanic, Top Gun, etc... yes, I did notice the similarities, but it didn't really bother me. I mean, ships sink the way they sink... just because people hung on for dear life and slid down the deck of the Titanic as it sank, doesn't mean soldiers didn't do the same when the Arizona went down. I suppose people would be happier if they fell up or sideways, or if the ship found a different way to sink. By nature, this film had to show certain events and situations. If they have been shown in other movies, that sucks... but you can't ignore the sinking fleet simply because you don't want to "copy" Titanic.
***WARNING!!! ENTERING THE SOCIAL COMMENTARY AND EDITORIAL ZONE***
Recalling "Glory" makes me think about how great a film like "Pearl Harbor" really could have been. If Hollywood could only trust the public's level of intelligence and capability of understanding and appreciating something a little different, something that takes a risk or two, then we might get a film as emotionally fulfilling as "Glory" with the big-budget grandeur of "Pearl Harbor." But since "Glory" only made $26 million, we'll likely see more films that can guarantee big bucks and appeal to the masses.
***END OF EDITORIAL ZONE***ENTERING CAST BREAKDOWN***
Cuba Gooding Jr. was great... underplayed... and I won't say underused as many people have about his role. It was simply a small part. He even shared one of the few truly sincere and sad moments of the movie that I won't spoil for you. He was great. Jon Voight was really good as well... he gave life to some famous historical dialogue that could have been really lame if not treated properly. He rose above the level of acting of the typical summer flick. I really have to add that I loved Dan Akroyd's part, too. He was one of the most believable actors in the film, and treated his part with genuine sincerity. Some of the very best work I've seen from him.
As far as the main characters go... I'd have to say that Kate Beckinsale fared the best. She was impressive, especially during the hospital sequences in the aftermath of the attack. I really wasn't expecting the movie to cover this aspect as much, but she was really touching and handled herself as well as anyone in the entire film. Josh Hartnett seemed to underplay most of his part, and served himself well, too. He used subtle facial expressions, and I grew to like and identify with his character. I've liked Ben Affleck ever since "Mallrats" and refuse to join the masses who hate his work in Bay movies... there's a lot about his personality that I like and that I've seen in my own friends growing up, so when people say that he's always himself or goofy or not-very-believable, I say that's exactly how some guys are in real life. Watching his character in the film, I could really see one of my buddies acting the very same way. And yes, the animal cracker scene in "Armag!
eddon" was pretty stupid, but I've done and said stupid shit to my girlfriend, too. I say stupid things precisely because they are stupid to make her laugh, which is how I saw that scene. Damn, film-geeks love to be negative. Ben was likeable... unless he's the kind of guy who beat you up when you were in high school... then I suppose you'd hate him as always.
All in all, this was a hell of a movie... You may even shit yourself a couple times during the big attack sequence. Just don't expect any huge surprises or inspiring dialogue... I don't think we'll ever get that in a big-budget film as long as people throw their money at crap like "The Mummy Returns"... Good Christ, people - can't you tell a bad movie from it's trailer??
I'm tired of writing and you probably won't post this anyway... so I'm outta here. Hope someone finds this helpful.
Overall rating - 8 out of 10
-Chains
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Reader Talkback
Well i'm still gonna go. by billybobhoyle | May 23rd, 2001 12:52:58 AM | Long live Jimmy Cameron and
his sinking boat movie by Kyle.Reese | May 23rd, 2001 01:03:54 AM | Wow....And this is suppose to
be champ. by MagiCaspar | May 23rd, 2001 01:04:20 AM | (confused) by Kyle.Reese | May 23rd, 2001 01:05:46 AM | Reviews read like pre-emptive
replies to Talk Back
criticism! by Wesley Snipes | May 23rd, 2001 01:08:43 AM | Who's surprised Pearl Harbor
sucks? by Obi-Dan | May 23rd, 2001 01:11:04 AM | And this creep will get to
direct RED DRAGON??? by godoffireinhell | May 23rd, 2001 01:14:46 AM | Michael Bay's next film will
be... by Kyle.Reese | May 23rd, 2001 01:46:40 AM | Yes. That is true. by Darth Pixel | May 23rd, 2001 01:50:18 AM | Here we go again... by Gabba-UK | May 23rd, 2001 01:51:35 AM | characters we actually cared
about? by ZeonAce | May 23rd, 2001 01:52:05 AM | i say, that PEARL HARBOR
trailer would have been more
effective. by human2 | May 23rd, 2001 02:06:13 AM | One big American Bomb by flamengokid | May 23rd, 2001 02:39:21 AM | This sounds like... by looking-for-love | May 23rd, 2001 02:53:45 AM | Dark Blue World by 260298 | May 23rd, 2001 03:14:50 AM | yeah i will still go see it
but i hear the beginning is
slow but by jon-e-blaze | May 23rd, 2001 03:28:41 AM | i'm NOT going to pay to see
this movie, just sneak in
after watc by mooncake | May 23rd, 2001 03:42:20 AM | The biggest mistake I by MATT BECKER | May 23rd, 2001 03:57:04 AM | Why do I care? by frinker | May 23rd, 2001 03:57:46 AM | Why Oh Why Couldn't They Dump
The 230 Mil Plus Into An.... by The Founder | May 23rd, 2001 04:05:33 AM | Well, maybe Bay can help his
dad direct Killshot. by Lance Rock | May 23rd, 2001 04:06:04 AM | This could have been the
ultimate Philip K. Dick
crossover by johnquay | May 23rd, 2001 04:07:55 AM | bleh going anyways.. by frinker | May 23rd, 2001 04:13:04 AM | Jesus, 3 hours long?????????? by Lord_Soth | May 23rd, 2001 04:18:48 AM | Affleks's(sp) Best by TectorGorch | May 23rd, 2001 04:23:08 AM | It is always the same... by Tarzan | May 23rd, 2001 04:27:24 AM | Uncle Ganumples by Anton_Sirius | May 23rd, 2001 04:37:53 AM | The problem here... by Antifanboy | May 23rd, 2001 04:42:53 AM | I wish I was a plant... by chains | May 23rd, 2001 04:51:24 AM | Thought so by houndog | May 23rd, 2001 04:52:08 AM | As David Mamet wrote:
"production values" is code
for forsaking by PKD | May 23rd, 2001 04:53:39 AM | Are There Any Good Movies
Being Released This Summer? by RightWing Dude | May 23rd, 2001 04:54:41 AM | I liked It. by Soccer | May 23rd, 2001 05:15:16 AM | Michael Bay by Firebird4186 | May 23rd, 2001 05:19:48 AM | This comparison (to Titanic)
is silly!!! by Lord_Soth | May 23rd, 2001 05:28:25 AM | I can't wait for the patented by JB1414 | May 23rd, 2001 05:53:46 AM | Can't wait for the patented
implausible love scene by JB1414 | May 23rd, 2001 05:59:31 AM | Stanz1973 by Gabba-UK | May 23rd, 2001 06:05:05 AM | Michael Bay Rocks! by Studio Lackey | May 23rd, 2001 06:11:09 AM | Pearl Harbor Trouble by amuro23 | May 23rd, 2001 06:36:08 AM | Go to Dark Horizons and read a
legitimate review by SmilestoGo | May 23rd, 2001 06:40:08 AM | Bay Bruck Both Suck by hipcheck13 | May 23rd, 2001 06:46:05 AM | In the Grand Tradition of
Armageddon, ID4, and Wild Wild
West by Mister_Pink | May 23rd, 2001 06:46:18 AM | Unsung Heroes of World War II
- Check or Contact Local PBS
Stati by Uhero | May 23rd, 2001 06:54:05 AM | This doesn't surprise me, Bay
is eye-candy by Halloween68 | May 23rd, 2001 07:24:23 AM | This doesn't surprise me, Bay
is eye-candy by Halloween68 | May 23rd, 2001 07:24:47 AM | Goodness Glaciers by ZooTrain | May 23rd, 2001 07:35:51 AM | Trsust me, Lord of the Rings
will win Oscars this year by Red Giant | May 23rd, 2001 07:40:01 AM | If you like Michael Bay
movies, you might also like a
bg, fat, s by DearGodMySpleen | May 23rd, 2001 07:44:32 AM | Arizona? by capt jack aubrey | May 23rd, 2001 08:21:19 AM | Arizona? PS by capt jack aubrey | May 23rd, 2001 08:26:01 AM | My Great-Uncle Tag Maverik Was
Stationed At Peral Harbor
Before by Buzz Maverik | May 23rd, 2001 08:38:33 AM | baa, baa, American sheep by PrincessFlavia | May 23rd, 2001 08:44:41 AM | The best written review I have
seen on this site... by Gustavo Cerati | May 23rd, 2001 08:49:11 AM | Something to do this weekend
instead of seeing this garbage
dump by otis von zipper | May 23rd, 2001 09:06:57 AM | Jon Voight's chin by Hardyboy | May 23rd, 2001 09:08:01 AM | Well we all knew it was
coming..... by kothoga212 | May 23rd, 2001 09:10:47 AM | Harry, how can you be
surprised this thing is
getting roasted by by Batutta | May 23rd, 2001 09:14:51 AM | Why make another Pearl Harbor
movie?? by Orange Bat | May 23rd, 2001 09:35:56 AM | To quote Bugs Bunny:
"YHEEEEEE..." by superninja | May 23rd, 2001 09:41:22 AM | Considering there are still
survivors of Pearl Harbor by superninja | May 23rd, 2001 09:47:57 AM | Pearl Harbor weak? A huge
suprise. by Baker'sDozen | May 23rd, 2001 10:21:36 AM | Movie Geeks, unite! by Mister_Pink | May 23rd, 2001 10:33:28 AM | little mike bay - a James
Cameron wannabe by Fandude | May 23rd, 2001 10:56:23 AM | Faith Hill, singing the theme
song to a war film (now that's
jus by Kyle.Reese | May 23rd, 2001 11:00:27 AM | Oh well by Billy Talent | May 23rd, 2001 11:17:45 AM | oh boy by bumetalman | May 23rd, 2001 11:18:43 AM | It amazes me . . . by AlyFox | May 23rd, 2001 11:19:07 AM | Pentagon Product Placement:
What the US gov't wants you to
beli by Southern Crane | May 23rd, 2001 11:47:34 AM | Umm dude do you even know
Pearl Harbor? by CTP | May 23rd, 2001 12:02:34 PM | Ben Affleck is a turd... by Halloween68 | May 23rd, 2001 12:15:20 PM | FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNK!!!! by nazismasher | May 23rd, 2001 12:27:47 PM | Zeon Ace had a point! by Puddleglum | May 23rd, 2001 12:49:43 PM | bruckheimer and friends by DrZaius234 | May 23rd, 2001 01:38:02 PM | Talkbacker Jealousy by Don Simpson | May 23rd, 2001 01:50:53 PM | Geeks and Masochism by Alethian | May 23rd, 2001 01:52:38 PM | Boycotting good movies is not
the answer by Don Simpson | May 23rd, 2001 02:01:00 PM | Such Bullosity on this Forum,
Bay Rulez by AnamorphicRulez! | May 23rd, 2001 02:01:23 PM | Faith Hill - "There You'll Be"
(cringe) by Kyle.Reese | May 23rd, 2001 02:06:12 PM | Don Simpson is right. by Alethian | May 23rd, 2001 02:13:12 PM | Since The Hippy Days It Has
Been Uncool To Be On Your Own
Side, by Buzz Maverik | May 23rd, 2001 02:23:01 PM | I'd like to thank the creators
of this movie for helping to
expa by Mister_Pink | May 23rd, 2001 02:32:23 PM | Backstreet boys = Jealousy too by Don Simpson | May 23rd, 2001 02:37:16 PM | michale bay's work = taste of
a man's mouth by KyleKrane | May 23rd, 2001 02:42:16 PM | I Have Heard That Michael Bay
Is Straight, KyleKrane. Very
Strai by Buzz Maverik | May 23rd, 2001 02:58:17 PM | Bay the most profitable
director ever!!!?? by Gabba-UK | May 23rd, 2001 03:03:50 PM | Of Course Don Simpson Is
Beyond Salvation, Mace My Good
Friend.. by Buzz Maverik | May 23rd, 2001 03:08:56 PM | yadayadayada by Max Fisher Playr | May 23rd, 2001 03:10:17 PM | Pearl Harbor. Hmpf by EmperorCaligula | May 23rd, 2001 03:10:20 PM | No friggin way... not again! by Scorpius | May 23rd, 2001 03:16:25 PM | Local TV News Review by KrayizeGuy | May 23rd, 2001 03:28:41 PM | It's "wander", not "wonder" by Phronk | May 23rd, 2001 03:29:43 PM | The best DVD ever is coming by Don Simpson | May 23rd, 2001 03:38:07 PM | Naturally, Buzz was the only
one who knew this... Don
Simpson is by LlGHTST0RMER | May 23rd, 2001 05:50:11 PM | PEARL HARBOR SCREENING - BAD
MOVIE by JedHarris | May 23rd, 2001 06:58:47 PM | wait a few weeks to see this
flick, don't give them
monstrous op by kojiro | May 23rd, 2001 07:28:00 PM | The Intent and the Intended by Lobanhaki | May 23rd, 2001 09:03:56 PM | everytime i see an ad for this
POS, i want to puke my guts
out.. by Fear.Of.Grey | May 23rd, 2001 09:32:48 PM | when i see ads for pearl
harbor anywhere, i get sick
when people by Fear.Of.Grey | May 23rd, 2001 09:38:07 PM | Hey, RightWingDude--there are
LOTS of good movies being
made! by Sith Lord Jesus | May 23rd, 2001 09:39:50 PM | Why do so many people bash
Affleck?? by LlGHTST0RMER | May 23rd, 2001 09:42:07 PM | Damn straight everyone...
DON'T SEE THIS MOVIE DURING
OPENING WE by LlGHTST0RMER | May 23rd, 2001 09:47:25 PM | Most of you people need to
relax!! by Orange Bat | May 23rd, 2001 09:58:22 PM | Look At It This Way, Gang.
PEARL HARBOR = Atomic
Bombs=Godzilla. by Buzz Maverik | May 23rd, 2001 10:07:04 PM | Hey, Orange Bat... by LlGHTST0RMER | May 23rd, 2001 10:16:47 PM | Why can't people use proper
punctuation???????????? by Darth Ranik | May 23rd, 2001 10:46:42 PM | Talkbackers are fucking
retards... by Marek | May 23rd, 2001 11:19:50 PM | The movie will rock, nuff'
said. by darthrage | May 24th, 2001 01:25:04 AM | Few Points About Micheal Bay by stuhl cost | May 24th, 2001 03:49:49 AM | PH Would Have Been Perfect If
Instead Of Faith Hill Singing
It W by The Founder | May 24th, 2001 03:55:21 AM | My Review of PEARL HARBOR by thele | May 24th, 2001 07:09:02 AM | Ed Wood Lives! by piss and moan | May 24th, 2001 09:31:48 AM | Forget this "bomb" - I'm
waiting for the TRUE BLUE
GREAT ONE: L by Smugbug | May 24th, 2001 11:59:24 AM | I agree with The Founder:
Galaxy Quest SHOULD have been
a BOFFO by Smugbug | May 24th, 2001 12:16:38 PM | This movie kicked ass! by SamEagle | May 24th, 2001 12:16:43 PM | Pearl Harbor by thousandoaks | May 24th, 2001 02:00:42 PM | Pearl Harbor by thousandoaks | May 24th, 2001 02:05:13 PM |
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