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CANNES: Solamen's Been To Middle-Earth!! Euro-AICN report #5
Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
Wow. Ummmmm... yeah.... wow.
Hi Folks... Edgard here... I just received this report from Solamen who totally lost her mind in Cannes yesterday evening as she attended the LOTR party... so here's her report (and good news, she did meet Harry... meaning he doesn't spend all his time on the beach).
Here's Solamen...
Cannes, Monday (but I still don't remember which number the day is!)
Question : "Was it great?"
Answer : "It was huge!"
Don't tell me that you have no idea of what "it" is! "It" is The Lord of the Rings Party! I've been there!! Oh my Goooood !! OK, now how many of you want to kill me? I'm trying to look cool and stay calm but I'm still over excited.
As you can guess I had no proper way to get an invitation, which actually happened to be a round badge with runes on it and a little leather cord to
have it around your neck. But we were three and one of my friend had it. Well, I can't tell how he had it (it could put some people into trouble) but it was not really a usual way. So, we knew it was Sunday evening, no one knowing where and we also knew there were shuttles to bring us there.
First, we had to find the shuttles cause we were going out from the Coen film and there was a lot of people. We found them in front of the Gray d'Albion Hotel, he showed his badge, we hopped into it and here we were gone! After 20 minutes we arrived on a hill, with at the top a castle all with blue light and smoke. The shuttle left us at the park car and we had to follow a
path up to the castle. On the path were candles on both sides and music, kind of Loreena McKennit music if you see who she is. On our way going up, we met
people coming back (the party had begun at 6pm and it was 10pm) so we asked them : "Hi, my bag was stolen and there was my badge in it..." With a big bright
smile, everything works out! We had two badges for three, we arrived at the first checking point and... we were in!
Now I'm talking to real Tolkien's fans : imagine coming into the Shire, imagine that all this world is true and you're in it, then you'll have a little idea of what it was. There were many sets of the film and I was just hopping from one to another, trying not to shout to loud "Oh my God! I'm there!" First of all, there was Bilbo's hole. I can't describe the emotion you have when you're in front of Bilbo's hole, thinking "In a hole lived a hobbit" and that you can come into it There was everything inside : little chairs, a calendar, books and written pages and lamps and there was the garden with the bench where he was when he first met Gandalf! I stupidly sat on this bench and stayed there for hours, beaming with joy!
Then there was also another house of the Shire and the entrance of The Pony inn at Bree! there was also the troll which is petrified in Bilbo's story and afraid the hobbits in LOTR. Then there was all the set for Bilbo's birthday party! There was music (unfortunately it was stupid pop music!) and food and
drink and you had to eat on a wooden table with wooden benches. Then there was also by the pool the elvian boat that takes them on the river and an elvian path
in white wood with lamps, just amazing. Then there also the throne room of Theoden with horses wooden heads on the wall (and of course I could not resist
sitting on the throne!) And finally there was two pairs of big pillars but which pillars? I don't know. All of this was in the set of a real castle and all
the sets looked so real!
Question : But who was there?
Answer : almost all the cast. We saw Elijah Wood, Liv Tyler, Ian McKellen and of course Peter Jackson. I went to talk with Peter Jackson but not with the
actors : first there were too many people around them, second I had nothing really to tell them, third I didn't want to destroy the magic, because when I'll
see the whole film, I'll need to believe that they actually are Frodo or Gandalf, you know, just like kids when they make the difference between what's fake and what's true.
Apart from them, we saw Ethan Hawke, John Rhys-Davies (that was a shock because for me he'll be ever after Sallah in Indiana Jones and there I saw someone who was just an actor!) and there was David Cronenberg too. They may have been other people but I didn't really want to see that. I was just in the Shire by Bilbo's house and that will remain my souvenir of that incredible evening.
Well, I also brought back other souvenirs cause they gave us a bag with the LOTR book, special edition for Cannes, a little knife, a pipe and tobbacco and a
poster. But that's nothing compared with being seated in Bilbo's garden.
Oh! Did I mention that I met Harry? He will tell you that I was over excited and kind of strange, but that's true!
Question : But apart from this, you saw films on Sunday?
Answer : Just the coen film "The man who wasn't there". It reminded me of "L'Etranger" by Camus (translated as The Foreigner, or The Stranger, I don't
know). It had many reminiscences of Kubrick's Lolita and most of all it was a tribute to the film noir of the 50's with a character having strange resemblance
with Humphrey Bogart ! Anyway, it was more an interesting exercise of style (in black and white) than the Coen stuff we used to see in Fargo or The Big Lebowsky. So, it was very artistic but rather disappointing.
But who cares of that? I've been to the LOTR party and that's, wow, huge or even huger than huge!!
PS : I've totally forgotten to say that there were a few stuff shown too. Well, I say stuff but it was amazing too. First, there was Bilbo's book, you know the one he's writing. It was opened at the page where he tells how he left the Shire with the dwarves on his first trip and with the map of the Shire. Next to it was Galadriel's vial, small and beautiful. There was Boromir's horn too, just like I imagined a horn. And there were swords, beautiful swords, most of them very worked, with interlacing patterns. And especially, there was Gandalf's staff, tall, in wood, an incredible wizard's staff.
I wanted to add too about Ethan Hawke that he came without Uma Thurman (or maybe I just didn't see her). But in yesterday Cannes magazines there were pictures of Uma Thurman, Ethan Hawke and Quentin Tarantino, the three of them at QT's hotel...
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"and you had to eat on a wooden table with wooden benches" ...ehhh...
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From now on I'm printing out the articles on AICN so I can correct the spelling and grammar mistakes with a red pen. I'll forward edited copies to everyone who graduated fourth grade English.
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May 14, 2001 4:28:35 AM CDT
this is chewy with rumbling from my lab...my LABrador's ass...
by slightly_chewy
so this is how the other side lives? sounds fun. sounds so damn fun i think i am going to kill myself now. no, wait. first i have to wait for LOTR. then i can die happy. no wait, there are two others after that. i guess i shouldn't be bitter. at my parties it's B.Y.O.B and no sex in the guest bedrooms. i would drink liv tyler's bathwater...and robert blake is guilty as hell.
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"Artistic" sounds good to me, since my favorite film of theirs is Barton Fink. I love 'em all, but I'm glad they followed Lebowski and O Brother with something a little less "knee-slappy".
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First of all, to Nickelpig - From what I read, I'd say Solamen is not a native English-speaker, which more or less would justify the grammar (Harry makes some truly horrid mistakes sometimes, and there's no justifying that). Anyhoo. Gang, it's a pleasure to see you posting (I'm referring to the footage TB), don't be a stranger to this TB! Well, I for one would've liked to assist that party if only to see all those fantastic props and settings Solamen describes... Ah, what imperishable joy it must be, to stand next to the Red Book of Westmarch! To see Anduril and Glamdring up close! To look upon an Elven ship! To eat on a wooden table with wooden benches with the voices of Gandalf and Frodo and Gimli chatting in the background! The tragedy is, I can only imagine it, never live it. Hopefully the movies will do their part to mitigate that woe. Emperor Caligula, many honest thanks for the tip on how to open the booklet, and also thanks for the heads-up on the pics of the boys! :-P Way to make me look like a LotR teenybopper on TB, cuz u know I'm like, sooo desperate 2 see more pics of the hobbit boys lookin' all purdy and all, cuz they're like, SOOO helpless and CUUUUUTE! Just kidding, Caligula, of course we both know I don't think they're helpless. ;-) Nam
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'From the man who had a Hippo muppet machine-gun a crowd of people'. Or Maybe, 'Brian presents...THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING'
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'Derek does Tolkien'
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For anyone interested the new Cohen's film is supposed to be a tribute to the pulp noir writings of J.M.Cain, who wrote the novels that became the early film noirs 'The Postman Always Rings Twice', 'Double Indemnity' and 'Mildred Pierce' (I think that's the right spelling). These films contained the everyman against a backdrop of crime or evildoing. It seems that the Cohens are giving their everyman a quirky appeal by making him a barber. All the drama then comes from this position I suppose. I'm really looking forward to see the Cohens do a tribute to probably the best genre in film.
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Did you ever get so excited that you barfed? I am sure the sets mentioned above will be coming a movie themed amusement park near you, but why the hell doesn't some New Zealand investor, or an American invester for that matter, build a tourist Hobbit village in NZ? They could call it Middle-Earth of course and have some extra Hobbit holes that hold replicas or actual sets or props of the movies like thrones, swords and the like. Of course, somebody will in fact do this I bet.
ALSO: Proof that American movie audiences are complete idiots - Mummy Returns makes $ 115 million in 10 days.
I KNOW that the Coen's movie is probly cool and screening other shows is the reason behind Canne, but those are films and they can be screened elsewhere and again. THE ONE PARTY on the other hand, is a one-time deal. So for me, a MUCH bigger deal than any screening.
WHERE THE HELL are Harry's reports? I don't want his reports eventually, I want them now. I mean, what is the point two weeks later when we already know everything? Is he working on an internet pulitzer or something? -
May 14, 2001 7:02:22 AM CDT
What about the 8 hairy legs of the Balrog? And its udders, what
by pippin's diamond
LOL, Miami! Concerning the million, you seem more preoccupied about it than about the CD-R with the trailer! Hmpf! But you'll be happy to know that the CD-R is already made and waiting to be shipped along with the cool mil. Unfortunately I've been unable to go to the post office on a day other than Sunday, and it's always closed on Sunday, much to my chagrin! I will send it, though; this week I'll go on saturday. Oh, the inconveniences of having a completely awful and untrustworthy postal service here in this godforsaken place! Don't worry, by the hairs of your ancestor Smaug, it'll come. Yes kind sir, by all means, please put that Access Hollywood or Entertainment Tonight or whatzahoozit on LotR in the tape if it's no trouble to you, the more the merrier. I'll add to our deal a tape of that Eowyn-nudity movie I once told you about to make up for this dreadful delay. ;-) Now I'm off. Where IS that Harry with his own take on the party?
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LOTR...whatever. Fine. Great. I'm a Peter Jackson fan. But all I wanna know is if the Tarantino Rumor is true. I'm guessing anything less then a yes is a no. BUT could AICN just run a headline that says "Sorry folks! No Tarantino movie." It doesn't have to say anything else. Just so we all know!
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I know this is off the topic, but is the Matrix sequel called
Matrix: Unloaded? I remember someone telling me this and am not sure if it happened in real life or in one of my hallucinations -
Long time no see. Still problems with your computer and your connection? You should beat it harder;)
Hum, which help with booklet were you referring too? And which pics? The mail I sent recently perhaps?
Whatever. What do you think of Sean's beard :)
And yes I know you don't think the hobbits are helpless. I read your adventures with Shaz on her board :D
Silly hobbits! -
I also am left wondering about the rumor though I have pretty much concluded there is no new Tarantino flick (none debuting at Cannes anyway). But there has been no acknowledgement on this site other than very brief mentions by some AICN crew who said really nothing definite either. I am hoping Knowles is just waiting for Cannes to end before saying anything more so that all hope is exhausted as far as it appearing there. However, what was the unannounced film? I am very curious about that alone. It would be VERY damaging to their credability if AICN just did an about face on this. matter.
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It's now 4:00p.m. eastern, U.S. time. No word on the surprise film anywhere. I agree that we at least need a headline or something to confirm that it wasn't a Tarantino film. Really sucks, though. I was excited about it. I'm still excited about LOTR. Might even pick up the book. I think I'm one of about a dozen people who haven't read it yet.
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...ZUT ALONS!! no matter how jizzed up! ahem...jazzed up about LOTR..... my main concern is whether or not any fucka is gonna be 'lashed' or not???? OUI? NON?... c'mon let the freaks know!!!
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i suppose it's up to me to be the one to say it so..."I can't describe the emotion you have when you're in front of Bilbo's hole" how could no-one find that funny??
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...there was an unstretched, nothing-obnoxious (yet;)) TB sitting right over here at the top of the page. Column on the right, as it were. Hrmph. Tough Monday, actually made me earn some of this income. ** Party, schmarty, them's just all sour grapes hangin up there! (Tho I'd love to see some pix of the swag they handed out to the guests. Sounded sweet!) ** Miami, 'Cor ye done sold me ye bam--these movies're gonna SUCK!! .... ... .... ..... BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Sorry, couldn't keep the straight face. Great list! By all means, let's document all of these, and re-present them this December. Should be fun. ** P's D as I live and breathe, how IS ya? And Emperor, sir, always a pleasure. Quite the mailing service y'all 'n' Messr. Mofo've got goin there.. humdedumdedum.. yep, sounds like some mighty fine gear... good stuff... doopdedoo.. ;) (by the by, that dadblamed book ever make it to you, tookess?) ** Oh yeah, to the fella who wondered (no relation to The Fox) I heard the title is to be "The Matrix: Reloaded"
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No, not the movie. Did anybody else check out Frodo's huge head in the picture where Galadrial is kissing him--no it's not from Bored of the Rings. I don't remember who brought it up, but they got a point. It looks wrong. The CGI people are going to have work overtime, if they haven't thought of fixing this until now.
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A pleasure, too.
I'm currently eagerly waiting for our good olde Greenleaf to come with some amazingly freakingly cool reports from Cannes :)
Oh, and about some shots that need to be fixed, well PJ was interviewed yesterday at the party, he just has right now a 28-hour flight to KiwiLand. Then 7 weeks of post-production. That makes mid-july. They're giving themselves some good margin if they need to fix stuff, and time enough to screentest a bit the stuff and let the studio execs butche, er... enhance the movie before its release ;)
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...touched a nerve there with good old JELPER! Keep up the good work! I think JELPER is actually George Lucas, and he's fighting tooth and nail against us LOTR fans because he can see his downfall coming this December.
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Jesus O' Reilly, Flybershnickel did not kill Floogenbarf with the amulet of Kneebleflitzer, everyone and their mothers know he killed him using the prophetic Giant Enema of Destiny, as it was written in Elder Days! The Amulet of Kneebleflitzer was cursed so that it could never fit in any living rectum. So there. A great happy day to you, sir.
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Has anybody seen both films? I need major help on a paper. I am trying to compare and contrast the two, but I have to be specific on my points. Is there anybody who can help me on this? I really would appreciate it GREATLY. But I need a response in e-mail, since it's hard for me to filter responses from other messages on Talk Backs. My e-mail address is amcdave@aol.com. I'll be online all day today. THANKS!!!!!!
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