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THE MUMMY RETURNS Review
2 years ago on May 5, 1999 I saw THE MUMMY and walked away disappointed. I didn’t hate the film, I just wasn’t satisfied. And in that review (CLICK HERE TO READ IT) I laid out several reasons why the film didn’t work for me.
Sure, I had enjoyed the effects work… but I didn’t buy the relationship between our two leads… I didn’t buy that they were in the situations that they found themselves in. Everything was taken in stride… Nothing was of any real concern.
Also, in the first film… realistically, they were just treasure hunters that didn’t respect the past and were motivated out of greed, and The Mummy was their just deserves. They opened that which should not be opened and they KNEW the curse was there…. They just didn’t pay it any mind.
I wasn’t rooting for them. I wanted the MUMMY to win. His reasons were valid. He wanted to bring back the woman he loved, ruling the world was just a by-product of that love… nice sprig of parsley on the side admittedly, but still… that was a side motivation.
The film was crippled by an overage of tongue-in-cheek humor. Everytime Brendan and Rachel seemed to get somewhere in their romance, it felt like… Well, in 1998 I said, "I think there are hints of fire between these two, but just as I think I see a spark, a Harpo or a Chico appears to honk a horn and grab an ass." And that’s how it felt. Also at the time, I complained that for an ‘adventure horror’ film the score by Jerry Goldsmith was too happy, that there were not enough adventure flourishes or music of doom… That the film really needed to feel a bit more Bernard Herrmann-y or Miklos Rosza-y.
Ok… In 302 words I described my problems with the first MUMMY film. All the reasons why it disappointed me. Why I get pissed everytime I think about it.
Now, it is 2001, nearly 2 years to the day that I saw the first one… And this time I feel Stephen Sommers nailed it with a railroad spike.
First… this has to do with Character motivations.
This is not about greed, about ‘getting the treasure’ this is about passions. Passion for history. Destinies to be filled. Fighting for those you love. And STAYING ALIVE!
There is a scene upon the Jules Verne-esque air-transportation at the helm, where Rachel Weisz has a genuinely desperate look upon her face as she looks at the path before her. She has lost her son. The boy she shares her intellectual curiosities with. The boy she is so proud of. He’s out there somewhere, with a 3000 year old Mummy that would do anything to hurt her and her husband. And she has no idea where he is. From behind, Brendan Fraser walks up and hugs her… Her tears beginning to well up, you can tell she’s choked up as she talks about just wanting to hold him. To have him in her arms again. And Brendan promises that he’ll get the boy back. And in his eyes is uncertainty and determination. THIS IS WHAT WAS MISSING! YES! Give them something real, something that is their own. Something that they really care about. Something that doesn’t glitter and can stay safe under sand for a thousand years.
Finally I care about the O’Connells more than Im-Ho-Tep and his love Anck-Su-Namun. Finally I have a reason to care about them, a reason to care if they live or die. A reason to cheer when they escape the clutches of death.
And if their boy, Alex (Freddie Boath), wasn’t note perfect for me… This would be taken away. But this isn’t a dumb kid. This isn’t a home alone kid. This isn’t a child with animatronic sized eyes. This little fella knows his Dad kicks ass, knows his Mom is smart and knows that if he keeps his head, he’ll live through this. YES!!! Not only that… But the kid is genuinely in Awe of the circumstances he finds himself in. He is SCARED of the Im-Ho-Tep. He knows he doesn’t want to die. He knows he’s safe till they reach a certain location, and knows he will torment and try to take advantage of his cagers till that time. This boy is a boy… for real.
When I was a child… same age as this kid, I was being whisked around through the Yucatan Jungles from Mayan to Aztec to Olmec on down to even Incan ruins. My first grade teacher’s husband was excavating around Palenque, and for one month my parents took me out of school to join the expedition… sleeping in huts, studying Mayan Glyphs and dreaming of all the wonders of the Mayan pantheon of gods… their legends. In my spare time I read about Egypt and its mythology… and Greece and its mythology and so on and so on. I was a sponge for this stuff. And seeing this kid be smart and attentive. YES! Completely awesome.
Once in Mexico, I missed the train that my parents were on and that they thought I was on. Apparently my mother was panicked, but my father knew I knew what to do. I simply bought a new ticket and caught up with them at our next destination. No panic. No stay where I am. I had been told, if we ever get separated you know where we are headed. Meet us there. Done. No problems.
And I love it that they respect this kid by giving him that same sort of fending for his own survival ability. I’m tired of dumb kids that have to have adults do everything for them.
In the first film, there was soooooo much humor, here… we don’t have that. John Hannah is back, and to be sure he is a bit of a C3PO type character. A patent coward, but one that wishes he wasn’t. One that will step up to the task and wants others to be proud of him. He isn’t the hopeless bumbling loser that he was in the first film.
In the first film, Im-Ho-Tep’s right hand assistant was the bumbling honk honk wink wink Kevin J O’Connor. This time we have the excellent right hand man… Lock Nah… Someone that is everybit Oded Fehr’s Ardeth Bay equal in shadow. Lock Nah is a deadly combatant, he’s a partner in crime… and he is no joke. He genuinely wants to kill little Alex, but must wait. This is wonderful. No more sniveling… no more whining stereotypes… This guy is serious trouble.
Oh, and by all means, let’s bring up Oded Fehr’s Ardeth Bay. HE IS SO COOL HERE! I completely dig him. Screw a friggin SCORPION KING movie, I want the continuing adventures of Ardeth Bay, servant of GOD! Oded Fehr is simply wonderful to watch here… He exudes the coolness that the quiet hero type should. Giving him a falcon to deliver messages throughout the film is AWESOME. (Btw… I used to be a Falconer’s assistant when I was a kid too… Birds of Prey kick ass!)
That brings me to The Rock. Personally, I so don't see what the deal was. He's a big hulking looking muscle dude... who looks like he should be playing a saxophone in THE LOST BOYS and does nothing to prove to me that he can CARRY an entire film. Maybe there is stuff on the cutting room floor or in his screen tests... but in this film, there is certainly no great moments for The Rock. No angst, no sorrow, no happiness, nothing other than screaming, and speaking in a language I don't understand real gravel-y. I would praise 10 times over every other actor in this film before him. The Next Schwarzeneggar? Not by this footage. His character is made cool by the reactions of the real actors. By the reverence and fear they use when mentioning him... And finally by the creature design of him at the end... Which is where I really wish ILM had another 5 months or so of time to finish him. But... anyways back to the main characters...
And this time, instead of having Rick O’Connell and Evie defeat Im-Ho-Tep with a spell or a stick of dynamite or a weapon du jour… OH… I just love the moment. I love how it wraps up. The look on Arnold Vosloo’s face… FANTASTIC!
At every step of the film, I was happier. Oh… I had mentioned how the first film didn’t know if it was a comedy, an adventure or a horror film… Well… Stephen Sommers figured out what his Mummy Movies should be… FULL FLEDGED ADVENTURES in the best possible Republic Serial and Harryhausen fashions!
Oh… Remember how I had complained about Jerry Goldsmith’s overly happy score last time…. Well this time they replaced Goldsmith with Alan Silvestri, and Silvestri’s score is vastly better suited for the film. It has all the right action beats, wispy romantic adventure themes, ominous doom themes… Everything as it should’ve been the first time.
Oh… Have you noticed I haven’t been talking about the effects work yet? Have you noticed I hadn’t really been talking about the Action yet?
In terms of imagination, this film kicks the teeth out of the first film. Here we have gone so far past just MUMMIES… Here we have all forms of new coolness.
In terms of effects… VASTLY MORE EFFECTS WORK! Tons more. Now, if I have one complaint, it is that I wish ILM had had about 5 more months to spend fine-tuning their work on the film. BUT… Having said that let me talk about what is here and the action with it….
As someone that loves the Hong Kong spirit of action and mystical mumbo jumbo… I adore the MUMMY’s action. As someone that loves to death the Republic serials of old… The never say die, throwing your whole body into the action rumble tumble kick ass action of the chapter plays… I’m here. I’m so here.
This movie throws so much at me that I just sat there with utter delight. So pleased that I was sitting there. So happy that I was watching this film. As each new thing came on screen I would smile a little wider. YEAH! I would say. FUCKING A! I would say. THIS IS SO FUCKING COOL! I would say. I was a kid and this was my damn toy store tonight! I just met a lady that I went out with this past weekend who's kid is completely wide-eyed with wonder at the films I've been showing at my Saturday Morning Film Club For Kids... If she lets me, I'm taking her kid to see this film this weekend... It will blow his mind in the best sort of gosh gee whiz sort of way.
If this is the sort of film that Stephen Sommers wants to make… if this is the director he wants to be… if I get more films with the breathless kitchen sink and the disposal thrown in fun like this… I will await each and every film of his with a spark in my eyes.
The one flaw for me… Like I said, if ILM had more time… the film would have been even more so. But Sommers very much knows how to make this geek heart beat with enthusiasm, and for that I extend my gratitude. I hope I have more like this ahead of me this summer.
P.S. To Universal Marketing... I had to basically wrestle to get into this screening, as AICN wasn't on the list. Now, I don't know if you guys left us off the list because I gave the original a lackluster middle of the road review or not, but for Christ's sake have faith in your film. Just because I or any reviewer didn't like the first one, doesn't mean we're not going to like the second. It is obvious that Stephen Sommers listened to some of the criticism of the first film... took it to heart, and made a better film this time out. When you have a film this fun, you have nothing to hide!
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And you can love it or hate it for it... or something. Only reason I might see this movie is for The Rock.
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May 01, 2001 9:52:25 PM CDT
"I had to basically wrestle to get into this screening, as AICN
by iamlegolas
Heaven forbid that members of AICN have to actually pay to see a movie or own a DVD. "HA, ha" - Nelson
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I told everyone this would be a fun film, and I'm so there
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I'm gonna go watch this thing. Not all that wowed by the effects I've seen (of course I am all for the minimalist effects approach). It's all about story and since you actually gave a real and decent review (which is like a crapshoot on this site) I'll go ahead and plunk down my cash. And.....then probably send you a pissed off email because it sucked my hairy balls.
a side-note on the score...Hollywood you've got to get a decent goddamn score.! Please. It can make or breal a film..it can make a mediocre film rise above...it can make a mediocre film much, much worse. If I ever win the lottery I want to buy the rights to LadyHawke and rescore that fucker.
By the way The Phantom Menace score was terrible, Duel of Fates besides. I really believe that re-scored that that film would be a few credits higher. Honestly. Re-scring that bitch would make a *decent* difference. Still wouldn't make up for..."you mean I get to go with YOU in your Starship" and......"Finish the race of COURSE" and "Yousa mean people are gonna die" and that stupid fucking whatsit FARTING at the beginning of one of the could-be coolest sequences ever because all of the dramatic build-up went right out of that space-camels ASS. GOddammit GEORGE you piss me off. -
May 01, 2001 9:59:14 PM CDT
I got a free screening pass for Thursday, but I'll be at home wa
by lenny nero
MUHAAHAAHAA!! But seriously, I do want to see it, and I'll pay a matinee price to do so. And I thought the first one was fun as hell. Could this be the beginning of a kick-ass summer of movies?
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It's looking to be a mighty fine weekend for fans of the summer movie. JP3 and The Mummy Returns... both signs that Hollywood has learned a thing or two about doing sequels right. BooYah!
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May 01, 2001 10:08:04 PM CDT
Uh Harry...it came out two years ago in 1999 (not 1998), same ye
by lenny nero
Just thought you'd like a correction. Unless you've already figured it out and will change it tomorrow.
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Also...George has a very clear vision about the story of Star Wars that he won't allow to be swayed by the whims of the Internet, the media, critics or anyone. The Internet rumors this time around are possibly even more funny and off base than they were for the first film.
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Good review. Has Harry been everywhere and done everything? He's been on safaries to exotic locales all over the world. He's been an assistant to a Falconer. He's met Ronald McDonald... Fascinating. Just fascinating.
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Um, bozo... The reason I wanted in wasn't to NOT pay, but to get my review out before the release of the film... If you actually read the review.... You would have read this: " I just met a lady that I went out with this past weekend who's kid is completely wide-eyed with wonder at the films I've been showing at my Saturday Morning Film Club For Kids... If she lets me, I'm taking her kid to see this film this weekend"
Hmmm, does that sound like I fully intend to not only PAY to see the movie, but pay for another person to see it too? Mr IAMLEGOLAS, have you ever paid for an airplane ticket, hotel room to see a movie? I have. Paying isn't a problem, having the film in advance to pay to see is. -
Listen, cockweed. Did you ever have something you cared about, and someone fucked it up? I remember in college I had this dopey friend named Wally that had this annoying fucking laugh that I can only approxiamte with the typed words Hooo Hooo hah hooey...I thought Wally was gone for the weekend and I had a girl over to watch Glory...she was really getting into the film and Wally (who always had a bad fucking habit of doing this anyway) burst into the room just as they were throwing Colonel Shaw into the pit with hsi dead soldiers and went fucking "Hooooo Hoooo hah hoooey" and GODDAMIT just broke the fucking mood.
To put a fucking fart in his movie is Lucas' right. He could have replaced the Sarlacc Pitt with a giant-sized undulating Jennifer Love Hewiit Vagina...my point is you stupid motherfucker is that it ruins the goddamn movie...there were no fucking farts in Star Wars (oooh Han and Chewie were swimming in shit! shut the fuck up) I can do and WILL take it seriously. Legally Lucas owes us nothing...but he does owe his own work and the leagcy of the story some respect...not fucking farts. Lucas is to Abraham as Kasdan is to Sara as McCallum is to Hagar. And the Phantom Menace is Goddamn Ishmael. Hoo Hoo Haa hoeey. -
Hey Harry, the Mummy came out in 1999, making it 2 years ago to the date, do the math please!
P.S. I hated the first one, and this one, from the trailers, looks even worse.
I'm really starting to think twice about your reviews, BLOW better than Goodfellas HAH! Who was in the audience with you, oh yeah, Ted Demme, Bill Mahr was right, you are a critic for hire!
I'm fastly losing respect in you, and your reviews are not pure anymore. -
For Hire? Well, gosh... on the first MUMMY they flew me to London to visit the set. And I gave that film a lackluster mediocre review. On the second one, they try to keep me out of the theater. Tell me I'm not on their LIST.... and I get in anyways... and I love it. Hmmmm... sounds as if you treat me like shit your film has a better chance? Hmmm? Mahrer doesn't know shit, the guy doesn't even have email or an internet account. He's never seen this site and was only restating the rantings of a subpar jealous wannabe.
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May 01, 2001 10:52:12 PM CDT
You seem to be taking me taking myself too seriously too serious
by eminenema
Five seconds can make a big difference...maybe in Schindler's List every fifth dead body should've been a skeleton clutching a huge purple dildo...it's my beef,motherfucker, and my right to have it. Why are you so worried about it? And there is a farsight of difference in "what an incredible smell you've discovered" and a fucking space camel farting and an even more idiotic creature going "Peeeeee-uuuuuu-sa". And who is the geek here dumbass? You're just a fucking barnacle, man. I would respect you more if you didn't resort that stocky "you're taking it too seriously" and get a life you geek shit..last time I checked we are going into the wee hours of the morning at least on the eaast coast up and you, my friend have posted multiple times on a renowned "geek" haunt. What does that make you, shitface? At least I posted on topic and then admittedly digressed...I had caught part of this piece of shit (read TPM) at a friend's house and was re-disgusted. Had to get it off my chest in the forum I love best:Aint-it-Cool TalkBack. If you don't like all the geeks here then take off, pal. Yeah, I'm sending Wally into your doctor's officeto laugh just as he's telling you you have terminal ball cancer. -
While I would agree that THE MUMMY RETURNS is the cinematic equivalent of a Burger and Fries and a Drink... I would not say this was a Happy Meal.... I'd say the original MUMMY that Sommers made was a happy meal, THE MUMMY RETURNS is the double meat Fat-burger with egg, the breaded french fries with chipotle mayo, and the Amy's Ice Cream Milkshake double chocolate. You see... While they are both Hamburgers, Fries and Drinks... There are quality differences between the two.... Apparently... Larry, you don't eat enough to know the difference.
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May 01, 2001 11:00:14 PM CDT
I want to see PICTURES of Harry when he was a young boy on South
by bari umenema
Step aside Young Indiana Jones, it's time for Young Harry Knowles, Boy Explorer! Post those family pictures Knowles we want to see you when you were rail thin with no beard or long hair, just red hair, freckles and a wide eyed grin on your cute little mug. I think it's clear from the trailer for this movie that it kicks ass all the way around. Good for Stephen Sommers and even good for Universal chairwoman Stacey Snider some of you guys owe her an apology for the way you talked about her on the Seed of Chucky board you bums.
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Harry, you don't have to defend yourself. Jerks like him just like to criticize celebrities because they are easy targets. I personally have been anticipating this movie since I walked out of the theatre of the first one ("Death is only the beginning"). I almost had a fit when I heard a rumor that Universal was not green lighting the project. I think that sequels got a bad wrap because of Scream 2. Suddenly, 'everyone' knows that sequels suck. Your fans support you Harry.
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Harry didn't give this film a positive review because he was spoiled by the studio,... he honestly liked the movie! That doesn't mean his opinion shouldn't be trusted, does it? Who cares if Harry gives the movie some positive buzz? He isn't trying to force you into seeing 'The Mummy', he's just telling you that he liked it! In the end, it is up to you to decide what films to see in the theater. You can't blame someone if they like a film that you can't stand. There are films that I know are mindless drivel, complete critical misfires, but I still enjoyed them (anyone who has read my posts on 'Bride of Chucky' will get what I'm saying). A movie can still entertain you without living up to the caliber of 'The Godfather' or 'Lawrence of Arabia'!
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Listen, I have no doubt that THE ROCK is a manly man. And from talking with enough wrestling fans that adore him, I can tell that he must have some charisma in the ring. The Rock is not in the ring here... He is not speaking English here.... He has not got a single line to emote in a known by me language, and his personal scream has no texture to it at all (it may be dubbed as far as I know) Whatever you know of the Rock on Tv.... Commercials.... Saturday Night Live.... Talk Shows.... That isn't who you'll see on camera in MUMMY RETURNS.... What I saw in The Rock in The Mummy Returns was the worst actor onscreen. The character with the least charisma. The least interesting, least developed and least worthy of my time to discuss. The Rock isn't The Rock in this film... he's more like Sand.... Blown Away....
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A fucking back-pedal? I think the cancer in your balls is quickly spreading to your brain, my friend. Let's re-cap: I posted on the story at hand...made even longer comments about the camel farting thing because it was fresh in my mind (kind of like the fresh shit spreading in yours)...then you go into the knee-jerk action of "You're takin it too serioisly, man" stocky shit---then like a true fuck-wad BACKPEDAL into "Wahh I just wanted to get into an old fashioned TPM bashing" as being the reason you posted those comments toward me...hmmmm...then accuse me of back-pedaling? how you could read my last post as that is pretty amazing..and apparently you're too thick to understand that I wasn't making false comparisons and wasn't even going down that road (time to go back to logic class, FatBoy)...maybe you should have soemone in the medical community scope your Mom's uterus too see what was left behind after your birth, because apparently there were a few components left out there, pal. And yes, the score in many places fucking BLEW in TPM. Go listen again while the auditory centerin your brain is still working, you fucking idiot. -
1. Yo Harry, you never post this much, is this part of the redesign of the new site? Never seen you answer to your critics before, kinda like it. 2. The original trilogy did have the equivalent of a fart scene: the Sarlaac pit burps.
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riiiight they left you out of the screening cos you gave the first one a bad review... yeah that REALLY has to do with it.
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This talkback is about "The Mummy Returns," right?
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Ok, its very simple, who would you pay to see in an action movie;
Van Damme, Steven Segall, Stallone or the Rock? Vote honestly and I guarantee Rock will be at the top. At least he is bringing something fresh to the screen. -
Man, this is the greatest talkback ever....some very "two men enter, one man leave" vibes in here. I like how your responding to people's comments in the talkback section now, makes for good reading, and puts those jerkwad's who insult you and this site in their place..i'm not saying I alwasy agree with your movie opinions (Although I did also like BW2)but i respect how you have the balls to state your opinion and cater this site to us true film geeks. And any chance of you posting a list of movie your showing at the Saturday Morning Kid show?
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Wow! They should make a movie 'bout Harry's childhood adventures. It could be, like, Home Alone 4: Lost In Tijuana... "You banditos give? Or ya thirsty for more (narcotics)?" Steven Soderbergh could direct it, and droopy-eyed boy-wonder Haley Joel Osment could play a young Harry!
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I just returned from a press screening of "The Mummy Returns" and I've got to say this; if the major studios think that the regular movie going audience is this stupid then we are all doomed. "The Mummy Returns" is basically a re-hash of the first film. The Mummy is back trying to rule the world, again, only by a different means. Brenden Fraser and Rachel Weisz are once again off to stop him, only now the mummy has kidnapped their annoying moppet of a kid. I won't get deeper in the plot, Harry has done that already. After seeing this dreck I can now say that I am an official movie snob. Every scene where people are cheering or laughing at another "witty" remark, I just found myself rolling my eyes. Enough of this sarcastic tone that is prevelant in movies today. I don't know about you, but if I was chasing a 3000 year old mummy who has kidnapped my son, the last thing I would be is sarcastic or witty. Yeah, there is a lot of action, but Jesus man, the level of mentality is that of a five year old. I know that movies are meant as an escape, but do we really need to be insulted. The problem is people don't know they are being insulted, like lemmings people are going to clunk down their $9 and allow Hollywood to produce more pieces of crap like this. "The Mummy Returns" is a huge waste of time, if this is a taste of things to come this summer we are in deep trouble.
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You're just wrong to list it as one of the problems with that film. It was one of Goldsmith's best, and I listen to it often. I'm not saying you don't know music, nor that you're a shit head for having an opinion. Yes, the music wasn't super forboding in the "Bram Stoker's Dracula" sense, but it was still very appropriate for the tone of that film. You didn't like the film because it wasn't what you wanted, and that's your problem not the movie's. This is a sequel, it's not about correcting what YOU saw wrong with the last film--especially since you're wrong as far as many others are concerned. I'm glad you liked the sequel, I'm sure I'll like it too since I always love adventure films, but I couldn't disagree more with your clearly unshakable problems with the first film. And I just can't let your challenging Goldsmith's excellent score stand. It's great music, and it fit the film.
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May 02, 2001 7:24:00 AM CDT
I love how Harry has to bring in his life experiences to any mov
by fear of a ted
Whatever.
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May 02, 2001 7:49:59 AM CDT
I Love How Malcontents Like Fear of a Ted And IAmLegolas Profess
by mrbeaks
The site keeps on truckin', while you guys only look more pathetic.
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I dont mean to sound like a parent but I must tell you that your coming across like your pretty pissed off at the world right now. Mr Mahaer (however you spell it) was out of line and is OBVIOUSLY a very bitter man. But you must admit Harry it doesnt take a PHD to sit at your computer and type out reviews of movies that you see. It is one of those dream jobs (sort of like rubbing oil on supermodels so they look nice and shiny for thier photoshoot or a beer taster) that you were fortunate enough to be sucessfull at. 2nd Point.... It does sort of seem like your trying to make amends with the distributor of this flick in an ALMOST apologetic seeming sort of way. HEY HEY I REALLY LIKE THIS ONE!!! DONT LOCK ME OUT OF THE NEXT MOVIES GUYS!!!
So dont get defensive about what people think, remember we are only " talking back " responding to what YOU said. And if you come across that way, people are going to suspect. Its human nature. Personally I dont think this movie is gonna be worth the paper a Happy Meal comes in but thats my opinion.
Nuff Said
Fernwick -
I'm picturing the kid in the beginning of Jurassic Park - the one who Dr. Grant explained the whole dinosaurs/birds comparison to. THAT was Harry.
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Great call, decadentdave! I was thinking the same thing. >:) http://www.theonion.com/onion3619/canadian_girlfriend.html *** I'm looking forward to "The Mummy Returns," by the way. All I ask for in a movie of this type is imagination, creativity, good design, and energy.
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The one thing that makes me NOT want to see this movie is the fact that that O'Connell and Evie have a kid in this movie and he looks like a stereotype of your basic "Macaulay Culkin-Home Alone" precocious kid. Nothing makes me want to stay away from a movie more than the precocious kid syndrome. It's like Speilberg's Jurrassic Park ... nothing I would have liked more than the kids to be eaten instead of the lawyer. I loathe the precocious kd stereotype they put in movies. Oh ... and I agree with Harry, I was rooting for the Mummy in the first movie ... all he wanted was his girl back and all the other guys (with exception of Ardeth Bay) deserved to get it from the Mummy. Even O'Connell. Hope he gets his girl this time.
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Man, you SO nailed it with Ladyhawke. It's the second movie I purchased on DVD. Partly because I love it, but mostly because I new I could deal with the score since the DVD was only $9.99 But DAMN! That is very near, or maybe it just is, the worst score EVER. Everytime it comes on it just knocks you upside the head so hard that you can't pay attention to the movie. And to further pitch my movie o' the week, which cosmically is another Mathew Broderick film, Glory, it has an AWESOME score. Anybody who has not seen this film needs to rent it today. Preferably on DVD so you can see it widescreen. Oh yeah, the mummy blah blah blah...too much has been said already...I'm going Saturday I hope.
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So there! We should all get together, the lovers and the haters, and hash it all out F.I.S.T.-style with clubs and molotov cocktails.
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Rachel Weitz (pronounced right?) said on Channel 4's teletext that she wouldn't do it.
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Rachel Weitz (pronounced right?) said on Channel 4's teletext that she wouldn't do it.
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May 02, 2001 9:25:25 AM CDT
I wonder what her daddy thinks about his little girls thighs.
by billy talent
If the names Bruckheimer, Scott, Mann or Zimmer appear in a films credits, then a good film is possible, and some truly awful sounding music is guaranteed. My favorite film is 'Mr Holland's Opus, although I don't believe any of the above were involved in that one. I like the ending when Richard Dreyfuss conducts the orchestra performing his 'American Symphony'. How the crowd cheers - the pride on Dreyfuss's face! And Good God Almighty it's the absolute worst, most tuneless, aimless schlock Classical/Rock horrible shit you've ever heard in your life.
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... the reason I, and many others, don't let the Mummy slide with that excuse is- BECAUSE IT'S THE MUMMY!!! Such an awesome idea to play with, but instead we get midless crap. The Mummy has a well of possibilities, and with botomless Egyptian mythology to draw from. It should have been done in the vien of Coppola's Dracula. Now that would have been something. Couldn't Sommers have just taken a crappy property, and made it even crappier? Why did he have to take something that could have been great and put his touch of 'total abandon' (of quality filmmaking apparenty) on it. couldn't he have just made Deep Rising 2? All the other updates turned out good: Dracula, Frankenstien, Sleepy Hollow... And here sits the Mummy, an empty Crackerjack box. So Frustrating...
But if what Harry says about the sequel is true then it's time to get happy. although I can't comment untill Friday. Then again Harry got all googly eyed for Charlie's Angels, and that movie sucked worse then the first Mummy... -
Fuckin' A! Sounds like I should hit Mummy 2...
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When the original Mummy cam out a couple of years ago i was so psyched to see it after the outstanding trailer. i thought this is going to be an India Jones movie for the new generation; Full of adventure comedy, and great action. Then i went to see the movie and promptly rated in in my Top Ten worst films of all time. Summer blockbuster or no. Then about a week after that when they announced there would be a sequel I vowed I would not pay my hard earned money to go see a sequel to the stinking empty schlock I had just seen. When the trailer for The Mummy Returns came out I was given a taste of the same pointless dialogue and cheesy special effects I witnessed in the first one; It seemed my vow would be fulfilled. In the theater I made anonymous exaggerated yawns directly after the trailer that elicted chuckles from people who obviously felt the way I did. Now every review is saying this film is not so bad. Should I respect myself enough to not go see this movie and stay true to my word or should I give in? I'll wait for professional critcs to chime in most likely but still I am divided.
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Scarlet Letter where the Indians saved Demi Moore and slaughtered all the Puritans. Read the book and look at Coppolas mess and you'll understand what I mean. The Mummy...the first one was fun. It was a popcorn film and succeeded where crap like Charlies Angels failed. How Harry can lambast that films characters motivation (um... Harry I hate to tell you but Weisz's character wasn't after money but respect and O'Connell only went with her to protect her cause she saved his life) and praise the aimless Charlies Angels thats devoid of the characterization present in the WORST Sandler films is beyond me. The Mummy 1 sort of reminded me of the King Kong script that Peter Jackson did. Great stuff with the balls to set it in the right period. It was a cool re-invention of the original Mummy where as Coppola mangled the ideas and concepts of Dracula. Keanu Reeves IS Harker. Yeah right. As far as Mummy 2 I look forward to it if it pulls off being fun. A last point on the Rock. Harry feels the need to put down wrestling everytime its mentioned. Seems to me the Rocks involvement is a non issue. How can you call him the weakest part if he didn't EVEN SPEAK ENGLISH!!!! Looks to me to be much ado about nothing as his character was visual. But to lambast him and call him the 'worst actor' and say that he blows away like dust yadda yadda yadda is little more than posturing, to as QT put it, push what you like and put down what you don't to make your stuff seem superior. It seems to be the Rock played a visual character and if he had no lines or was weak as a character as you put it then I hate to tell you but that falls under problems in the script so you might want to rethink your glowing review as the Rock did not write his scenes. Maybe if he did they would be good. So in your zeal to bash him you really reveal a problem with the plot. The seemingly anticlimactic return of a character who has too little screen time. Thats Sommers fault not Dwayne Johnsons. All in all I hope this film rocks and I hope we get to see Dwayne as an Egyptian Conan in a tricked out Egyptian fantasy movie sequel. I want to see it and I hope you sit at home and grumble about how wrasslin sucks while we all have fun. CAUSE Believe me Harry plenty of others wanna see that and thats why the Rock is in all the ads for this film cause he'll put more asses in seats than Frazer or Weisz. Thats why he is getting an unprescedented 6 mil for his first lead in a film. If you smellALALALALALA what the Rock is cookin! Did anyone say pancakes???? oh PS I can't wait for Resident Evil 2 it looks awesome!!! ;-)
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Wait, shit.
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OK, I thought Branagh's Frankenstine was WAY overdone, poorly acted and bloated beyond comprehension. And as if the ending didn't suck ASS! Also, I have another updated film property that didn't turn out so well...it's called GODZILLA!! I think all the talk-backers can agree on that one. I do, however, agree that a darker and less Indiana Jones theme should have been taken with the first one. Hell, the original Mummy was a horror movie, why not the remake?
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Is anybody else here waiting for Harry to say something like this:
"What do you mean, 'I'm not on the list'? Do you know who I AM? I'm Harry Knowles... of Aint-it-Cool-News! If you value your job you'll let me in. I can see to it that this movie bombs big time."
I think Harry thinks he has too much power. I for one don't care what he or any other critic thinks of a film. Either I'll agree or disagree. I do know that it takes me 3 days to slosh through the story about how he sat behind some yappy kid in the theater before I actually READ something ABOUT the film he's reviewing... -
The animation was a joke. An utter joke. The Scorpion King at the end...bloody hell, what a horrid spectacle! I have played Playstation1 games with better graphics. The writing was the most contrived I've EVER heard in a film: silly and filled with holes.
At least don't call me 'stupid' with your script when I see your film. That's what this film does to its audience. You will feel as though you are being told a story to as if you were a naive adolescent. Be warned! -
May 02, 2001 1:10:58 PM CDT
"TWO MEN ENTER... ONE MAN LEAVES..." I'm putting money on Fatboy
by roguewriter
Fatboy, Eminenema, thanks for what has to be simply the funniest talkback of all time. Listening to you two rail back and forth over the quality, necessity and transcendent message behind a FART has absolutely saved what was turning out to be a very bad fucking day. Haven't laughed this hard since Buzz's last Mysterio parody on a JAY & SB STRIKE BACK page!
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"having the film in advance to pay to see is."
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Whatever happened to Clive Barker's version of The Mummy that he talked about doing years ago? That sounded cool, a Mummy film with a Barker vibe.
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May 02, 2001 2:50:08 PM CDT
A Bonafide Slobberknocker!!!! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD
by slapnutz
This movie was the greatest extravaganza in the long history and rich tradition of Sports Entertainment. Though the booking was a little overdone, the workrate and the famed psychology were awe-inspiring. Plus, the angles were exciting, the characters were over, and the sheer athleticism was absolutley scintillating. Business is about to pick up here, folks!!!
Arnold Vosloo seems to be 100% comfortable with the Mummy gimmick. Even though it's pretty old-school, straight out of the 1930's, it's refreshing that Vosloo doesn't try to be a cool heel like Scott Hall would. Hopefully, Mummy 3 will give him a makeover as an "Egyptian Bad-ass" type biker character. THAT would rock harder than a 2-hour Ironman match between Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko!!!
Brendan Fraser, on the other hand, is crying out for a heel turn. Has this guy played babyfaces his entire career? He should make the turn soon before he turns into the next Hogan!!
Rachel Weisz and Patricia Velasquez are by far the best valets since Miss Elizabeth and Sensational Sherri. The only thing that would make their catfight more exciting would be if Jerry "The King" Lawler showed up and screamed, "Puppies!! Puppies!!!"
Now, onto The Rock. In his movie debut, he manages to pull off the impossible task of being in the curtain-jerker AND fighting in the main event. Not since Bret Hart in Wrestlemania X have I seen this done!! Though his moves are limited in this movie, and he doesn't do his trademark People's Elbow or Rock Bottom, The Rock adds a few new power moves to his repertoire I didn't know he had, including a new variation of the Scorpion Deathlock that would make Sting and Bret Hart weep.
My only problem with the movie is that the main event ended up being a handicap match, instead of the triple-threat match that was advertised. It was still a good match, though, possibly better than Steamboat/Flair. I didn't even mind the run-in screwjob, since it's not like The Rock was gonna job clean anyway. Personally, I think HHH was holding down the Scorpion King, because he felt threatened by him, and wanted to end his push. It's typical Hogan-style booking by The Game.
But all in all, I give this movie 7 stars out of 5. My trusty sources on the 'net say that the original plan for this film was going to be 3 hours of The Rock fighting jobbers wrapped in toilet paper, but the booking was changed at the last second. Rob Van Dam, Schmob Van Schmam...The Mummy Returns is the whole F'N show!!! -
Harry - I liked what you had to say about the Mummy remake film. However, what I couldn't get over is how "90's" these characters really were. There was not a sense that I was actually in the 20's. I don't know if you can directly blame it on acting, script, or whatnot. The believability of the movie was weak in this sense. The first Indiana Jones film made me believe that I was in the 20's - of course you're dealing with a far superior film in general, but they should have just made the film in the background of modern day.
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Basara, you are insane. I can
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C'mon, guys, you're forgetting that what made "The Mummy" great was being a kid. You've got to see "The Mummy Returns" through the eyes of a child...oh, sorry, I meant "The Phantom Menace." My bad.
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Sheesh, Harry. With all the opportunities and advantages your parents gave you early in your childhood, this is the BEST you can do with your life?
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OK, I'm an anal-retentive college English teacher. Sue me. But you HAVE made me re-think this movie. . .
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May 02, 2001 6:20:48 PM CDT
Say it with me, peeps!! We want "Deep Rising 2"! We want "Deep R
by user id indeed!
I really liked Deep Rising. Fun, but dumb, but it knew it was fun. And dumb. Aherm. Those tentacle things were fookeeng awesome. I half expected them to gang rape Famke, but no go. What a waste of tentacles that can apparenly stretch to infinity. I mean... um... I'm not into that sort of thing. Aherm. Lookitdamonkey! Lookitdasillymonkey!! Harry, ya mentioned Kevin O'Connor being sortuva dumbell in "Mummy", and I agree with ya, but I really dug him in "Rising". A goofy guy with a greasy mullet and Parkinsons of the larynx. And for a movie that kinda came out of nowhere, you have to admit Sommers did good stuff with a so-so budget. And a sequel would fit the three survivors just fine! WHAT THE HELL ATTACKED THEM ON THE ISLAND?!?!? I HAVE TO KNOW!!! TELL US IN THE SEQUEL!!!! WAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! Well, you know, if Sommers apparently makes bigger and better elaborations with his sequels, qhy not make a franchise out of "Rising"? It could be the continuing adventures of a Token Manly Man Hero Boy, The Sexy Thief, and the Jittery Crack Addict (I betcha), whose continuing bad luck leads them to fight horde after horde of bizarre gigantic monsters. "Now what", indeed. Throw Famke on a string of jelly jars and millions will be made, I can see the slogan now... "With a Name Like Famke, It's Gotta Be Good!" I love it. Well, that's enough mindless rambling for now. This has been a Moment with User ID Indeed! We can call it "Deeper Rising"! HA HAAA! Hee heee! Heh heh... aherm.
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i wont see these movies because brendan frasier is that annoying....almost anyone could be in these and i would see it, with the exception of maybe pauly shore, brendan is that bad folks!
one last thing i saw a pretty funny movie on ifilm called "cardboard" check it out if you can. later. -
The 1999 Mummy rocked. The relationsship between our leading lady and leading man worked. I beleived it. And what is this talk of GREED. They were looking for a city of the dead, one loaded with treasure. What a great excuse to have an adventure. Is getting rich looking for treasure GREED? And that mummy coming back was real bad news. He was fooling around with his bosses wife got busted, killed him and then was punished. What a creep. Now he wants to come back and bring back some plague(sp). He is not a sympathetic charactor. I don't know what was eating you when you saw the Mummy, your review reads like a guy having a realy bad day and took it out on some movie, that became a hit. I am glad you liked the new Mummy movie, you must have been in a good mood that day.
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it's fits a big pile of worthless Poodoo like you. Farting and shitting are two pleasures in life. I don't see you complaining that Oola bearing her tit "ruined the mood" in ROJ. Probably because you freeze framed it and wack off to it every night. Also how can you complain about two minor throwaway jokes. Considering that everything that comes out of your mouth (and your name sakes mouth) is nothing but raw sewage I would think poop and fart jokes would be just your style. And yes in ANH they had jokes about the smell in the trash compactor, yes Luke got a mouthful of crap, in ROJ Jabba practically vomits on himself while he eats those greasy frogs.. Jabba also tells Han he's Bantha Shit (sure the translation says fodder which means food but we ALL now "Poo" and "doo" mean shit, plus calling someone dog meat means little, calling them dog shit means a lot.) Leia is regulated to a T&A show in ROJ... etc I really don't think Lucas was changing much but adding a couple throwaway jokes... The only thing that ruined the mood for me was the cartoonish characters (podracers and announcers) and the oops-factor with Jar Jar and Anakin in the final battle. The bodily functions didn't bother me at all.
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May 02, 2001 7:53:55 PM CDT
Right on, user id...Deep Rising was fun movie...and I don't reme
by oatu
Deep Rising 2 indeed!
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If the first movie is a piece of crapola. I'm not going to waste my time on a sequel. Like when everyone went bonkers for MI2. I hated the first one so I wasn't wasting my time. Ditto on this one. The commercials looked bad. I can't believe ILM did the effects in both, they look so lame and cheesy. I guess when they have some lame Hollywood director and not a perfectionist like Spielberg or Lucas they can get sloppy. I originally thought Tomb Raider looked bad but after the second trailer I know it's be better then this crap. Nothing special, just fun. Personally I don't trust Harry's reviews anymore. In 1999 I trusted him but now I think if a studio sufficiently greases his wheels he'd say "Plan 9 from Outer Space" is an Oscar contender.Not that I fault the dude. He's auber-fanboy film geek riding the high-life at the studios expense and I say God Bless the big guy for it. However if I want the 411 I'll look to Roger Ebert and Leonard Maltin... Not that they don't screw up (Ebert said Gladiator sucked!) but they're on target more often then all the rest combined.
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...what The Rock is cookin'!
I haven't seen "The Mummy Returns" yet. Maybe Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson doesn't have a well-developed part in the film. But yes, The Rock has the looks, he has the charisma, he has the voice and the talent to make it big on the silver screen. Comparing him to the muscle-bound jerk playing a sax in "The Lost Boys" just doesn't cut it, Harry. Go out and rent a WWF video featuring his matches and the great promos he cuts. Then maybe you'll have an idea why people are getting excited about The Rock doing movies. -
He's like Indy's Sallah, except young and sexy. If you'd taken the Weisz character and paired her with him, it would've been a nice change of pace. Frasier's character was so obvious and out of place. Harry is right about the Mummy winning in the first film -- he should've. He should've driven them right out of Egypt after they destroyed his plans for resurrecting his love. He should've been a fearsome and tragic character, so desperate to regain his lost love that he would do anything. Not a man bent on world-conquering. They could've left the movie open-ended with Fehr's character returning to the desert because he could not give up his dedication to his God. The Mummy could've survived and quietly inserted himself into the modern culture to later take his revenge. The sequel should've been about the his desire to reunite with his lover and to destroy those who opposed him. It would be cool to see him confront them as a modern man, their equal. And Weiz returns to continue her work when she discovers the Scorpion King's bracelet and becomes his pawn, and Fehr has to decide what is more important to him. Anyway, look for MY version of the Mummy in 2010. Of course, I'm talking out of me arse here. What I'm describing is more akin to Anne Rice's Ramses The Damned (The Mummy) which I think would've made a far more superior mummy film.***For me, Weisz made the first film. Her character had a nice transformation from meek librarian to someone with guts. The romance with her and Frasier again was too obvious. But I'm glad they let Weisz take a more butt-kicking role in the sequel. She's like the Tomb Raider character, except for less obvious.
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One more Dracula film NEEDS to be done. One that's actually BASED ON THE FUCKING BOOK! I saw all these people claiming that Coppola's Drac was just like the book but that's bullshit. If they think that they never read the book! Big deal it was the only one to have Quincy Morris and the only one to have the sunset chase at the end. It still wasn't the story Bram Stoker envisioned. Also if it was just like the book why did they have to release a novalazation, "based on the script, based on the book"? Capolla took scenes that where very subtly erotic in the novel and turned them in to pornography. I'll also NEVER forgive him for taking the sweet angelic almost saint-like Lucy and turning her into a sex-obsessed, potty-mouthed slut. In fact Coppola seemed to have no interest whatsoever then frightening the audience, I think he was more interested in giving everyone a hard-on. It's sad when such a talented director becomes a dirty old man. (I mean he made "Apocalypse Now" and "The Godfather" for goodness sake so he's no hack!) I guess Speilberg's aged like fine wine while Lucas has the cutes and Coppola is a perv. :)
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He's steriod enhanced trailer trash with no acting talent whasoever. It boggles the mind why all these fanboys cream thier fucking jeans over him. I guess all those hours watching that wrestling crap complety rots what little brains they have. How else can you explain people paying $45 on PPV to see a bunch of sweaty guys in woman's panties grope each other?
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May 02, 2001 8:30:42 PM CDT
Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to...
by superninja
BIG HITS ON AICN!!! And you're all falling for it. Fanboy anger is what drives this site, make no mistake. When all you people lose your minds over his reviews, try to keep it in perspective -- he is not a true film critic. He is a critic from a fanboy perspective. Not that I fault him, it's brought something unique to the internet, but if you want him to judge it on that level, you are at the wrong website. He will continue posting reviews that talk about his day because people make such a broo-hahha about it. There IS the ability to scroll on most browsers, folks.
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ILM might've been going for the same scope, but you know better. Ray H's creatures had the ability to FEEL and REACT. They were tangible and terrifying. There's nothing worse than watching something on screen that's not tangible...it's just not REAL. I'm not saying that ILM will someday not be up to the task, but they have yet to make a three dimensional character that has the same impact for me as the least of the Harryhausen creations. If you can't do the best, then why do it? Why make mediocre effects when there are creative alternatives? I miss the times when people actually took years to make a movie and not months. I know that has to do a great deal with the studio system, but it sucks if you want to see a classic. I think you would have a hard arguement if I said that the Mummy would've been better without the FX. As far as the serial comparison goes, that may be accurate, but Raiders was based on the serials, as was the original Star Wars trilogy, and both are better examples of filmmaking than either the Mummy or Episode One. It was way back when when Spielberg and Lucas had something to prove. There's nothing more amazing than a hungry director, someone who wants to show something people have never seen before. Like Spielberg has said, you sometimes only get lightning in a bottle once...
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Your proposed plot for The Mummy II is pretty much the plot of the ORIGINAL Mummy with Boris Karloff--the mummy is brought back to life, disguises himself as a "modern" man, searches for his lost love, etc. Sigh: I've always wished that Hollywood would have had the guts to have remade THAT film. I love it: I consider it the best of the early Univeral monster movies, and when I heard in the late '90s that Universal was launching a remake, I hoped it would flesh out the ideas in the original and create something that's both an hommage to the 1932 film and which also stands on it own. Silly me. Oh, and just to carp: "Ardeth Bey" was the name assumed by Boris Karloff's Imhotep when he was disguised as an Egyptian scholar. . .what was the point in reviving the name for the hero who guards the old ways? Yeah, I know. . .just being anal again. . .
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First of all, Harry, congratulations for self-actualizing, making it happen, becoming a success and a name brand. You are part of history now. Good job. Second, I absolutely love your enthusiasm about movies. the problem is quite often in the past you have gotten really excited about movies that patently sucked (Armageddon, Godzilla, the Grinch). And other times you seem to take a fine tooth comb and attempt to destroy movies (The Mummy). I wouldn't say The Mummy was a "good" movie, but it was miles ahead of Armageddon or Godzilla (in terms of narrative, acting, production design, etc.). Also, your tone is quite often very self-important. I too, as a child, lived for a time in Mexico, traveling around the ruins in Tulum, Palenque, and Chichen Itza. Big fucking deal. Well, I guess your a better writer than you used to be. But, then again, you did DO it. You are the author of a phenomenon, so who am I to talk. Consider this constructive criticism from someone who is a fan of good writing. I love your exuberant style, but your credibility as a critic is seriously in question. Do yourself a favor and spend the money, and get a fucking editor. Remember what Huey lewis said, you only get to ride that rocket to the top once. Do yourself a favor and learn to write. You'll last longer. Viva Terry Allen!!!
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Obviously the first film was just a bad movie (save for its Awesome prelude); but I was happy they decided to do more because they Did have something to work with...the Egyption mythology, Rachel Weisz, Oded Fehr, Arnold Voslo, and big budget cinematography and effects.
I made the mistake of going into the first film expectiong something classy like Indiana Jones and was dissapointed that IT WAS NOTHING LIKE INDY JONES.
But this film is much more of an adventure....the CGI BACKGROUNDS ALONE in the derigible sequences, just beautiful.
This film is Much more evocative oh the Indy movies just from how beautifully and imaginativly the locations are handled.
One thing I like about sequels is how they don't have to set up how everyone meets, they give us characters we are already familiar with and they try to develop them further.
Even tho Racheal was very engaging in the original, the character had no passion she was just a farce, but in this film she's given a soul, as is Fraisers character to some extent.
When you learn who Rachel really is, it gives the seemingly happhazard and random events some clarity and focus. The mythology aspect of the film is really great, evocative of Star Wars, where all the characters have a destiny. The Madjhi are the Jedi and the demonic forces of the underworld are the Sith. A very epic film.
THe scenes between Rachel and Brandon still aren't very romantic and are mostly just "cute" (untill the end where the have a couple good scenes because they pull 'a fast one')but you do feel they have a passion for their child.
The Dog warriors look good but their part are just as extra's in the war scenes which are beutiful. The pygmies were pretty good, although they are introduced as being too much like the raptors in The Lost World but they turn out to be HOW THE EWOKS SHOULD HAVE BEEN ferocious, yet because of their size and eagerness, very comical.
Oded Fehrer was excellent as the Servant of God, and the black guy was awesome as his nemisis (Obi Wan/Vader).
Basically its Indiana Jones on crack, yet it still isnt half as good as any of the Indy movie's were, save for the locales and the neat mythology. People think all these ancient legends are crap, yet we have no idea how they built the pyramids. Movies like this work with what is out modern mythology, religion.
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May 02, 2001 9:44:25 PM CDT
why ask the question when you already know the answer superninja
by kojiro
It's all about the Benjamins. I can't believe I just wrote that. i need to go flaggelate myself from the shame now.
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In my opinion, there are way too few fart jokes in the movies today, and the more the better. Classics like "Blazing Saddles," for example. And for your information, based on an early secret draft script of the original "Star Wars," the scene with Vader and the Death Star commanders in the conference room actually WAS a fart scene, with Vader ripping a long, oily one and using the Force to direct it at his choking victim's face. The scene had to be altered and the sound effects removed due to obscure contract restrictions that required James Earl Jones to actually perform the farts, which he felt was beneath his dignity. What's this about Oola showing some BT? I missed that entirely!!
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Harry,
Let me start by kindly telling you that you are missing the point in all of this. It does not matter if the "Rock" gets out there and does the worst acting job in the history of all creation. The man is "The Rock" and because he is "The Rock" he is going to sell tickets.
I did not expect that he would have a huge part in the movie because when he went off to do it he was only gone for a week or two from WWF TV. Fact states that he could have not done much in that amount of time but you are just hurting yourself in the long run by downing "The People's Champion".
Wrestling fans are among the most devoted in the world. We may not be the largest fan base but we do have more power then people care to admit. If you do not believe that statement than why not ask the head of the PTC.
They have had to shut down the e-mail boxes numbers of times in the past months because the PTC got so tired of people writing e-mails telling them what they thought. I for one find it funny that they wish to shove their beliefs down the throat of the American public by force but when someone pushes back they rush home like little children offended saying " I am going to tell on you."
That is not the issue at hand here. The issue is that that most wrestling fans will not read your stuff if you start downing pro Wrestling's champion as an actor.
I have been watching wrestling a LONG time! In that time I have seen most of the great performers that many consider to be legends now. The people like Mick Foley, Steve Austin, HHH, Terry Funk, Dusty Rhodes, Harley Race, "Hulk" Hogan, Randy Savage, Michael P.S. Hayes, Shawn Michaels and countless others.
I will tell you right now that I do not think Rock is the greatest wrestler of all time. I think "Rock" is a little overrated and that the man that is the best well rounded package that I have seen that can do it all has got to be HHH. However, I will tell you that as long as I have been watching wrestling there is not a man alive that is as good on a mic as the "Rock" and I have about seen them all.
The wrestling fans in the world are not going to believe that "Rock" can not act because every week on WWF TV he has 20,000 fans in an arena and millions around the world eating out of his hand with every word out of his mouth. He does not have to do anything but hold up a hand or lift an eyebrow to get the fans to shout at the top of their lungs or quiet down to nothing. By telling the wrestling fans of the world you think that "The Rock" can not act you have basically told them that they are all fools for liking him so much because we do not know what is good and what is not.
I am not telling you "The Rock" did a good job in the movie because I have not seen it. What I am telling you is that it is pointless to argue your point because all you are doing is making 80% of the wrestling fans around the world hate you. That can not be good for you in the long run because trust me if you manage to #$%^ a bunch of them off they could make your life on the web annoying to say the least.
I have said my peace and now I am gone. -
Thanks Harry for this review. I just can't wait to see this movie! I really enjoyed the first one.
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i have never seen Harry in a talkback !!!!!! And how the FUCK did this talkback about the Mummy get turned into a Star Wars topic about Jar Jar, farts, and shit and grabbing Leia's tits? That is so fucking pathetic, you tear a movie down because of shit like that? its a movie you are supposed to go and enjoy what so worked on so very hard. we should be so lucky that Lucas decided to make the prequels because he didnt have to. the next thing you know this talkback is going to be about the matrix and star wars! If its one thing i hate its that.
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Your post made me laugh my ass off, so thank you for that. I love the bloated sense of self importance. The nice mix of threats and paranoia displayed. The thought that somehow pro wrestling is anything more than garbage entertainment. You're hysterical with that stuff. "Don't say bad things the WWF champ or his devoted followers will make your life bad" to paraphrase your message. If you really are that into wrestling, you are probably beyond help, so I'm sorry for you. For your sake, I hope you were trying to be funny. Because you were funny, man. Very very funny.
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May 03, 2001 6:45:06 AM CDT
Well, Either Having A Girlfriend Or Watching The Rock In Action
by raddik
See, I told you Harry. Watching two sweaty men beat the shit out of each other increases your testerone level and inhibits your feminine side. I also have to say that Kevin O'Connor is an underrated actor. He has got some serious potential. Bring him back in the Scorpion King but as an actual villian I say. Then cast Stone Cold Steve Austin as the the Scorpion's arch nemesis, the Rattlesnake. Make him the heel till the end of the movie then have him turn baby face. Sigh, I see his WWF current status going down if continues with this role. Unfortunately, eMpTy V Celebrity Death Match does not want him back since he dissed Carson Daly and called him a pansy.
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"The first Indiana Jones film made me believe that I was in the 20's". That would be the 30's.
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I have not seen the Mummy Returns yet, won't get to until it opens here on May 18th. However I need to get my spoke in now, because by then this talkback will have wound down and you guys will be comparing Pearl Harbour with the Phantom Menace, or discussing Tomb Raider's effects with regard to the Phantom Menace, or debating whether Tim Burton's remake of Planet of the Apes is as good as the original, or as good as the Phantom Menace. In case you are not catching the sarcasm, guys, give it a fucking rest. I know its a cliche directed at Star Wars devotees, but go out and get laid, or read a book (and no, not a Star Wars book) or do some fucking thing.
I am an admitted Star Wars enthusiast. I'm in my late twenties, grew up with these movies like most of you guys, and they mean a lot to me. Two years ago I was in the States when TPM opened, which was fucking cool as it did not open in Europe until late that summer. But lets face it, everybody, two years on, apart from the excitement of the event itself, the whole movie was lame. And here is how you could tell. Actual children, real kids as opposed to we Robin Williams types, looked quite unimpressed in the cinema. They were not around for the originals and, lacking that sense of history which biased our appraisals, they just saw it as that Summer's Lost in Space and as the plodding, limp affair it actually was (and there was a hell of a lot more wrong with it than Jar Jar fucking Binks).
The Mummy you will recall opened in that same period. It too is a less than perfect film, but it did one thing which big Summer films are meant to do, it brought me back to one of those moments when I was a kid and I sat watching Raiders or the Goonies or even fucking Krull and they were great. Outside it is an early 1980s summer, I am not even a teenager yet; life has not been complicated by sex, I have never drank or tried drugs, worried about a bill or whether some fuckhead boss likes me. I have yet to experience the faint bitterness of becoming a lawyer (really, I am), and can still say with no trace of doubt or irony that I will make films when you grow up. For me, there was something in the Mummy which achieved that sense of wonderment, of fun. It made me feel like a kid, but in a genuine sense, without any sense of effort. I saw TPM on its first morning, cheered with everyone else when that green writing came up. But looking back on it now, the entire occasion was too self-conscious, too phoney.
Fuck me, I just read back through this and I sound like Dawson. That's your fault. I had to go to Bridget Jones' Diary with my girlfriend last night. Best part was the trailers for this Summer's releases. The smell of the multiplex on a warm, bright summer evening. Sometimes its fucking great to be alive.
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May 03, 2001 10:28:13 AM CDT
Mummy 3: The Final Slobberknocker or: "AS GOD AS MY WITNESS, HE
by slapnutz
First off: the reason everyone's bringing up The Phantom Menace is because TPM is still freshly burned in our minds as the biggest letdown in the history of cinema. Everyone's entitled to their own opinion - but the two main defenses of this movie are: 1) You're thinking too hard about it!! It's a summer movie!! and 2) You're comparing it too much to the original Star Wars!!! Is it simply not possible that the movie sucked harder than Jenna Jameson?? Same with Hannibal. Everyone says if you didn't like it, "you watch too much MTV and can't handle a movie without quick cuts". Then they go on to say, "you're just disappointed b/c it's not just like Silence of the Lambs!!" Yup. Cuz we all know SOTL was an MTV-style, jazzed-up glorified Bruckheimer movie, right??? Wait...what's my point??? Oh yeah...The Mummy 2 does what no other sequel since T2 could do, and that's top the original in every way possible. MI:2 was about as fun as prison rape. The Lost World can lick my dill. The Mummy 2, however, was a roller-coaster ride that actually didn't insult the intelligence. I won't even say, "check your brain at the door" or any of that cliched crap. Because you don't have to, no more than you had to at Raiders or Star Wars or Jaws.
Anyways, Mummy 3:here's the pitch: Arnold Vosloo gets replaced by Stone Cold Steve Austin, and he teams up with Triple H, who again refuses to elevate the Scorpion King by not putting him over. They run roughshod over Egypt, beating the Hell out of people with chairs. Who can stop them? Mario Van Peebles and Christopher Lambert, the stars of Stephen Sommers' best movie, Gunmen. (I liked Deep Rising too, but there was no nudity and Brenda Bakke smoking Camel non-filters narrowly beats Famke Janssen in white wife-beater) Mario and Christopher proceed to take on the Unholy Alliance in a match on top of a pyramid. (Wesley and Woody, Schmesley and Schmoody) Good ole' Jim Ross, the best-play-by-play man in the business, even though he can't get anyone's names right, shows up, and deems this match a Slobberknocker, after calling it a drive-by and likens it to a wreck on I-95. HHH, though prophecized to lose, uses his backstage stroke and tries another political ploy. He "shoots" and tries to hit Mario with a sledgehammer. Christopher says, "I don't think so" and throws HHH off the pyramid, he lands on a camel, JR screams, "AS GOD AS MY WITNESS, HE IS BROKEN IN HALF!!!". End Credits. Better reviews than Empire. More rabid fanbase than Entrapment. $400 million guaranteed at the box office. -
All critics, Harry included, have their own personal preferences and taste. If you don't agree with his reviews, fine. Your taste just happens to be different. There is no need to be impolite about it. *** Coppola's version of Dracula was, in my opinion, truly awful. The book is far superior in every way. Sommers' Mummy I like, but I never saw it as a remake so much as a reinvention - an action movie with supernatural baddies. I rather liked all the characters, feeling that they were well drawn and realistically portrayed by a very talented cast. *** Superninja, I must admit that I did not like Anne Rice's book 'The Mummy.' I much prefer 'Servant Of The Bones,' which I think would make a great film, and her Vampire series. Interesting you brought up Tomb Raider though... Rachel Weisz would probably make a pretty good Lara, actually. She looks the part far more than Angelina Jolie does. *** JMYoda, I completely agree with you about making a proper Dracula film. I am not sure it is possible though.
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Hate to break your heart, but whether you like it or not the Rock is one hell of an actor and he is going to be "the next big thing." Have you ever seen any of his other acting? Well, If you haven't I can tell you that it kicked ass! Maybe this movie wasnt the best you have ever seen, but did you ever consider that it might be the writers fault?!?!? The Rock was reciting lines, and doing what the DIRECTORS told him to. So, if you didn't like The Rock's performance then you should blame the writers. And no one really cares what you think of The Rock, beacuse thats just YOUR opinion. In this case THOUSANDS disagree with you! So, KNOW YOUR ROLE, AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH!!
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"Meesa like him!"
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May 04, 2001 12:56:53 PM CDT
Alex O'Connell--least annoying kid in the history of motion pict
by splitpleasoup
I thought it was pretty great until the end. Maybe if I see it some more I'll get used to the Scorpion King at the end. I never actually thought that the first Mummy could bring up actual feelings of hatred. I would think a normal human being would know that going into it actually expecting Indy would destroy any HOPE of ever liking it.
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This movie is pure escapism for me. It's not about romantic characters or an amazing plot or PERFECT special effects. It's about losing yourself in another world and a bucket of popcorn. Don't go in with ANY expectations except 2 hours of action and impossible situations. I think that this movie could easily have been "Indiana Jones and the Mummy Return". It's that kind of fun. If you can take Indy getting chased by a giant rolling rock or people still alive after their heart gets ripped out you can certainly believe in past lives and mummies. This movie was PURE fun. Were there plot holes? MANY!! Was there bad dialogue? CERTAINLY!! But WHO CARES!!! IT'S "THE MUMMY"!! It's not "Schindler's List 2"!!! Watch it. Enjoy yourself. Don't be so FRICKIN' serious. Now, in true geek fashion, here is my big complaint: the balloon. What makes escapist movies fun for the audience is that the characters are forced to solve impossible situations with the few real world possesions they have. At least, that was established through most of this film. The only other objects they had were "otherworldly" and were "luckily" stumbled upon. The balloon was just a little too much to me, and a little too obvious as a plot device. As for Star Wars Ep. 1, if you went in with high expectaions, you were disappointed. If you went in in a 10 year old frame of mind, you probably walked out smiling. Star Wars should be taken in the spirit of "The Mummy":escapism. Any way, if you didn't like Episode 1, don't go see Episode 2, right? Especially since Lucas has ruined YOUR Star Wars universe. His is still in tact. And worth more money now than ever before.
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its jus a fucking movie get over it. thank you and god bless
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All right...all the WWF fans out there...just shut up about the Rock's 'acting potential', for Goad's sake! If you think he has potential, then maybe he does; I wouldn't really know about that, but just stop, and keep it to yourselves! Also, I do think George Lucas didn't make TPM serious enough, and you should all leave Harry alone. And as for FatBoy and Enimenema...All You Need Is Love, guys...
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This movie is definately not going to help the Rock out. He has a total of less than twenty minutes screen time and even his foreign tongued shouts weren't believable. If wrestling fans think the Rock is going to become mister big-shit because of this, then it only further strengthens the stereotype that wrestling fans are idiots.
Laterz,
Elliott -
Man what a rehash: dirigible versus biplane, wall of water versus wall of sand, toppling pillars versus toppling bookshelves, yawn. All it needed was the cast of Scream 2 to recite the rules of the sequel as they were strictly observed...
Lose the frickin' dirigible, cut the length of the repetitive action scenes by two, let me think just once that any of the leads were in any danger whatsoever, and fer cryin' out loud, if you're going to imitate Joss Whedon, at least break with tradition and have a GOOD CGI MONSTER AT THE END.
Liked the kid though. Perhaps we have a new Ender candidate there?
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This man is just about the scariest motherfucker I have ever seen. I am sure many of youse see OZ on HBO; Can you imagine being locked up with this guy in a prison cell! I went to watch " THE MUMMY RETURNS" yesterday, and last nite I had the scariest nightmare ever! Adewale Akinnouye-Agbaje = Adebisi = Lock Nah was trying to get me and rape me! I woke up screaming MUMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just wanna see another Mummy movie, of course with out that BIG FUCKING TALENTLESS MORON, THE ROCK
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I can't believe people are debating The Rock's acting talent. THE MAN IS A PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER, hence he is an actor.
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This movie flat out kicked ass. After last summer's mostly average "Event" films, this felt like the real thing. Yes, the end creature looks stupid, and the plot doens't always make sense, but damn if it isn't just a blast to watch. It is a flat out adventure movie and extremely reminescent of the Indiana Jones movies. It feels like a real sequel, adding information and new insights to what came before and not forgetting or making up new rules (although technically Imhotep probably should have had the plagues again but that was one of the least used elements in the first movie anyway). Bottom line, I can't wait to see it again. Bring on the SUmmer!
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I must address Harry directly and say that your comment about The Rock and the sax dude in the Lost Boys almost made me spit up my Dr Pepper. Of all the corny images from that movie I remember, that one stands out as the corniest. Very funny!
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Well, it was a little better than the first one, but it is a real mixed bag. There is good and bad, and the good IS NOT the FX. THE GOOD: The Kid is great. Weisz and Fraser have chemistry. Fraser is good at action. John Hannah is perfect as the brother-in-law. The Rock does just fine at what he is asked to do in this limited role. The editing is good and the story moves along well. I actually cared about the characters, which was the biggest thing missing from the first one. THE BAD: CGI looks like CGI, its all shiney. I've seen better FX on Xena. Why didn't they do the Scorpion King the way they do the centaurs? It's a little hard to tell whats going on during the fight scenes, too many jump cuts. The plot is pretty poor and feels contrived. It has misplaced humor and jokes that aren't funny; its too smug. "How'd you guess? That's how the storey always goes?" Rachel Weisz doesn't look the slightest bit Egyptian. There were no jet engines in 1933. Nor "grease gun" smg's. All the monsters roar with gaping mouths directly into the camera. Pygmy skeltons with no explanation. There's more, but those are the things that made me go, "Huh?" I know its a popcorn movie, and I enjoyed it because I tried to, but it wasn't nearly all it could have been. Maybe I should have gone to the zoo and enjoyed the sunshine instead.
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Well, I really liked it, but the Rock didn't even act at all as the 'almighty Scorpion King' at the end during the fight! That's right, he was the major name involved in this movie for some reason, though Brendan Fraser did a much better job and had an all-around better role. The pygmies reminded me of killer undead ewoks, and the dirigible was pretty neat looking. Overall, I'd give it a B or B+, as the script, though rather silly, didnt matter that much, it being an action movie.
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Everyone seems to be wrapped up around the axle about whether Harry's right, or the movie's got bad graphics. Tell you what: It's a summer Adventure film. If you want Oscar level plots go rent the English Patient. If you think these graphics are subpar, then go rent ANY Godzilla. Harry was right that the effects could use some cleaning, especially when the CGI army hits the real one, but hey, it's a movie. Don't misread this, you hyper-sensitive, anal-retentive types (if that pisses you off then I'm talking about you): I love movies, and I loved this one. Every movie doesn't have to send a message. As a matter of fact, it's nice to go sit in a theatre and have the story tellers knock my socks off. I recommend that you all create a new category in your movie libraries called "Big Budget Fun Action With Just A Little Bit Of Depth, But Fun Never-the-less." Stop complaining, please, you take all of the fun out of fun.
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Alright Harry, I am NEVER taking your reviews to heart anymore. I was so frustrated at this cartoon movie I was gritting my teeth all the while. Come on, this movie ripped off everything! That airship scene you describe was so much the scene from Titanic, with her on the bow, and him coming from behind to comfort her...it was such a ripoff I laughed loudly. And the shot of the airship coasting past the moon...c'mon Harry, it was E.T. all over! And the scene with the cheesy Home Alone reaction shots of the boy and his nephew, not only once but twice??!!! Come on! This film had no momentum, no plot, no originality. I literaly came home so pissed off that the film failed. I wanted it to improve upon the original, but it was only worse. When Weisz's character was dead I could have cared less. Why? Because I was never given any reason to care about her in the first place. And what about that Punjab ripoff from Annie? You said the nubian warrior that attends the boy as his jailer was not a cut-out?? He was Punjab from Annie, Daddy Warbuck's henchman. The whole time I was waiting for Annie to come out and team up with the little boy ala Spy Kids, go outside the temple and watch the cartoon show assembling outside in the form of jackal men. And the worst scene by far was the scene at the O'Connel's house where everybody and their dog showed up out of nowhere for a cheap cast intro. I mean, once Ardeth Bay's character walks in as well, it was sooo like an episode of Three's Company where Larry the next-door neighbor just strolls right in out of nowhere. I could go on forever, and would love to write a book about it, but I would rather not waste my time further...
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And like Romancing, it was not as intelligent or as clever as Indiana Jones (at least the first and third ones). But The Mummy Returns was certainly lots of fun and was satisfying, avoiding many of the faults of the first one while successfully adding new elements.
Sommers is looking most promising indeed and since few other directors are showing much flare or interest in the Adventure genre we should be grateful. Now let -
May 08, 2001 7:18:20 PM CDT
The same idiots that elected George Bush made this shite a hit
by heywood jablomie
Harry Knowles, who at one time seemed to have semi-cool taste in movies, devotes 20,000 words to the latest blockbuster hunk of junk? Why not starting "reviewing" Britney Spears' Pepsi commercials or the newest flavor of Bubble Yum or an individual pan pizza at Pizza Hut? This is NOT A MOVIE. This is a bath towel, a lunchbox, a screen saver. Please note the difference.
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I asked someone why they hated TPM so much and they said "cause it's just a rehash of the episodes 4,5 and 6"... well a couple of weeks later he said how he loved the Mummy - a poor man's Alan Quatermain, nevermind Indiana Jones!!
A summation of the mummy - bad dialog, action as though it were set present day, draws upon so many cliches, but apparently fun!!... bollocks is it, with so many flaws, it's too uninvolving to be fun. -
First of all, about the Rock. I know the ad's have billed him up there with Fraser, which was a smart move, but to call the Rock's appearance as a cameo would be stretching it. And, for those who haven't seen the film, and judging by the 70 million dollar opening weekend, that's probably not money, don't expect anything moving or big from the Rock. He appears a few minutes at the beginning and disapears until the end, when he is some ugly, horribly effected creature that has the Rock's head and the body of some creature that George Lucas would even have put in the Phantom Menace. God, how I already long for films in the winter months. Bring on the Oscars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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There were plot holes in the almost non-existent plot, NO reference to historical accuracy, a poor excuse for acting, and very, VERY cheesy dialogue(I was actually surprised that they didn't translate the Scorpion King's dialogue into "Can you smell what the scorpion king's cook'n"), but I was amused with The Mummy Returns. It is silly fun. Definately not to be taken seriously. The special effects are great, the sound is excellent, and the action is non-stop, literally. I was grimacing at the words, but it was compensated for with sheer eye-candy. All-in-all, not bad.
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Sorry if this was stated in a previous post but if you watch the scene with the pigmies falling after the log has blown up one of them grabs it and rides it like the missile in Dr. Strangelove.
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God bless you, Har. You panned #1 and preened #2. I guess that junket paid off after all.
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I don't care what you call it, a film or a movie, this is flat out horrible. This movie made the first Mummy movie look like Raiders of the Lost Ark, which it so desperately wanted to be but never in a thousand years could be. But this new one, my god, they've outdone themselves. You never get connected to either the story or any of the characters, it's more a series of stupid vignettes than a fluid story, the effects are so incredibly lame and phony, there aren't ANY original ideas, it's just one ripped off idea after another, etc., I could go on forever. I took my eleven year old stepson with me, and he couldn't stand it; he ended up playing mystery science theatre with it, talking back and laughing at this stupid thing (my favorite was when the scene looked EXACTLY like Survivior, a night scene when they're carrying torches, and my stepson blurted out "The tribe has spoken" out of the blue, and everyone around us cracked up. I want my two hours back. The 70 million dollar opening is a testament to the kind of movies we get to look forward to each summer. We went to see this in a 30 screen AMC in SoCal, which was playing Memento, Amores Perros, and Traffic, among other things. All of those theatres were empty, while the lines for each Mummy Screening (every 45 minutes) were wrapped around the building. When the movie was finally over, I woke my stepson up and we got the hell out of there. Note: Guys, if you are forced to go sit through this thing, remember this: Rachel Weisz is achingly beautiful in this flick, so just forget about how disapointed you are in this piece of junk, just keep concentrating on her and eventually the movie will indeed crawl to the end.
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This is not an oscar worthy film. Duh. It is a great ride, like a good rollercoaster or a comic book. Anybody who has watched a single Learning Channel documentary about ancient Egypt can point out all the historical story flaws. Anybody could point out the glitches in the film. But, what it does have is a FUN story with great action, genuinly funny moments, and some very subtle jokes you may not catch the first time. (i.e. the Doctor Strangelove reference) Don't take it seriously, just go in with an open mind and HAVE FUN!
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Then why didn't Im-Hotep recognize her in the first movie?
This was the sloppiest piece of shit I have seen in a long time, and I am shocked it's getting the rave reviews that it is. Just because you can fill up the screen with a million CGI effects doesn't mean you SHOULD fill the screen with a million CGI effects. Loud and empty, who cares what happened to these characters when there doesn't seem to be any real threat since everything is CGI. Steven Spielberg, please hurry up and bring us another Indiana Jones movie to show these hacks how it's done... -
I enjoyed the back and forth of all the posts. I never planned to see this piece of shit, because that is what it is, obviously. How do I know that? Not only is it a sequel(exceptions granted to Godfather 2 and Aliens), but the fucking horrible CGI effects from the first movie looked no different from the second in the trailers. Throw the unwatchable Brendan "Encino Man" Fraser in the mix, and you have a surefire stinker. I get a real kick out of you WWF dipshits going on and on about the Rock being some reason to see this movie. Only in this culturally- challenged society can we elevate some muscle bound half-wit to celebrity. This guy has all the charisma of a toenail. You guys who rave about him can go fuck yourselves, along with everyone else who made this film so much money.
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This movie would have been so much better if they had dialed back the CGI. The close-up shots of the Rock at the end should have used his real face. CGI works incredibly well for some things, but it is being abused. The four mummy guardians, for example, would have looked better if they were NOT cgi. They could have easily have been stuntmen in costumes. ILM, take a lesson from the stuff WETA is doing and rely a little more on physical fx, your fans will thank you.
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We all know it's a popcorn movie, and should be judged accordingly. I know a lot of people enjoyed the movie as well, which is cool.
BUT- I just wanted to add that I love popcorn movies, was really looking forward to kick off the summer season, and I HATED this movie!
Just a warning, no more- it's not an automatic lock for fun factor.
(ok- I thought the CGI was WAY overly ambitious, the pod racer dirigible was stoopid, and the Rock-creature at the end looked like he came out of a Playstation video game. Rant over) -
and it was fun. Nothing life-altering but certainly two hours of amusing entertainment, I mean hell Indiana Jones wasn't life-altering but it was good... I also add that Patricia Velasquez is HOT and my fav character of the movie.
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Saw the Mummy Returns yesterday when it opened here in the UK, was absolutely blown away and enjoyed it so much i wholeheartedly plan on going to see it again atleast once, if not twice before pearl harbor is out, as although it was superb, it will be quickly forgotten when that is out. I have to aggree with Harry on the music, alan silvestri's score is MUCH improved over Goldsmith's score for the first(which i really liked and didnt think could be surpassed), it's been a long time since i went to see a film and was thrilled all way through, not the greatest film on the world, but a kick ass, sit back and relax, action movie - the perfect blockbuster and a wonderful start to the summer, well done Sommers!
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Saw 'The Mummy Returns' as soon as I could yesterday in the UK - opening day.
To say I was disappointed would be putting it mildly. This is an abomination of a movie. I'll admit I had fun for about half an hour but after that it just got so lame it defied belief.
Some of the scenes Weisz and Fraser had to play out with each other were just awful.
How come they can shift from Egypt to London in a milli-second to continue the action but yet then make us wait a full 45 mins before they get back to Egypt again. During this time absolutely nothing happens. We get some rubbish story and the repeating of the same jokes over and over.
I had a little fun along the way but this was just a rollercoaster I wanted to get off after 30 mins.
Steven Spielberg should sue Stephen Sommers' ass for this one. I mean, there's referencing and then there's referencing!! The Lost World rip-off was an absolute disgrace!! Not to mention a whole host of other movies that he stole from. Lack of ideas, completely rushed.
They had to get it out for May 4th cos it wouldn't have survived when the big boys came to town. It's the perfect start to the summer blockbuster season and Universal know it. Give the audience what it thinks it wants before all the others come out: CGI, noise and more CGI - guaranteed huge opening weekend. Except a decent script to go with all this CGI goes a long way. You don't feel like you're being force-fed popcorn until you can take no more.
They say less is more - in this case more is definitely less. Talk about overkill!! -
I had no expectations of the movie and it was a nice way to get away from exam revision for a while. However, I do not feel it deserved the praise that Harry heaped upon it. Firstly, whilst there may have been good character motivations this did not transfer to the audience. I can safely say that when Evelyn was killed there was no gasp of surprise and there wasn't a wet eye in the house. Furthermore, the film had a great problem with plausibility. I know this is a tricky one given that the premise of the film is about the resurrrection of an Egyptian mummy but there are some things an audience is willing to suspend its disbelief over for the sake of the film and other things they are not. One of the latter was the O'Connels' son. Harry may be glad that he wasn't just some "dumb kid" who had to wait for his parents to rescue him but the fact remains that eight year old children do require their parents attention. This boy not only showed little or no sign of fear when kidnapped (or indeed at any point other than when he met the mummy) but also happened to be fluent in ancient Egyptian and could construct sandcastles with the skill of a trained architect. I do feel he rather suffered from Anakin Skywalker syndrome, although at least he didn't build a podracer. Another major difficulty for myself and my friends was the rocket powered dirigible. I nearly choked when trying to swallow my disbelief here. Lastly, the Brits got bad press again (no surprises here). It was nice that for once they weren't evil bastards, alas the makers resorted to that other favoured stereotype: the comedy value buffoon. On the bright side, I was pleased to see a black Briton in a major Hollywood picture (Shaun Parkes of Human Traffic fame). I cannot recall another movie featuring black, British actors. The closest I can think of is Congo, which had a fairly prominent black Briton as one of its characters, but I believe he was played by an American.
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It was an okay film, but not really a patch on the original.
It was a fairly entertaining, if totally mindless, film, but there are several areas where it fell on its face.
The Rock had nothing to do, thankfully, but the CGI Scorpion King at the end was abysmally animated. The film had some really good CGI (though it was all a bit too shiny) but there were certain bits that were dreadfully done. Clearly a movie that was released before it was ready.
The constant action was used to cover up the lack of good characterisation.
All in all, its harmless, but Rachel Weiss is absolutely right to rule out any further sequels. This one has been played out as far as it can go. -
This film is worse than bad. It stands as one of Hollywood's chief insults to date against the intelligence of the cinema-goer. It is in every conceivable aspect absolutely appalling. The nerds at ILM can at this stage take their frequently not-so-special effects and stick them up their ponytailed arses. I would take
on the scriptwriters too, but evidently there were none. A mess.
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The first Mummy was a pleasent surprise.
I went to The Mummy Returns with two of my friends. When it was over I asked them what they thought of it.
"eh" said one.
"hmmm" said the other.
That about sums it up.
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Having enjoyed Deep Rising and The Mummy I have to say I was a bit disappointed with The Mummy Returns. Good Action Sequences but the originality was lacking and of course the rushed look of the Scorpion King detracted from the excitement.
After seeing this movie what I would really love to see is a Stephen Sommers directed, big budget, Captain America Movie with Arnold Vosloo as the Red Skull! Set half the movie in the Second World War and then the second half in modern times. I think Sommers has the right touch for the job. -
I was pleasantly surprised by the first movie (it didn't suck nearly as much as I thought it would). This one was about the same, but the novelty has worn thin. After the opening with the Scorpion King it kind of drags for a while and even though the Rock is featured pretty heavily in the promos, he's hardly in the film. I'm not counting the cheesy CGI version of him at the end of the movie. Most of the humor falls flat. And it was just an endless parade of "homages" to other, better films. Like the first film all this really did was make me wish for another Indiana Jones movie. Bring on Planet of the Apes!
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I normally try to avoid lambasting films, but this one was horrid. This is the first time that I saw a film's child character who; 1)understandably had no friends and 2)I was hoping would die or be beaten by his tormentors. How an 8-year old could have the skill to; craft award-winning sand castles (without tools), fluently read and speak a second language that he himself rarely uses, be coordinated enough to jump off of scaffolds onto moving stone pillars, have the genius to construct mousetraps out of wood (in mere minutes), possess the emotional disciple to "get past" his mother's grizzly murder in just a minute or two, and to outsmart a crew of adult men who have nothing to do but watch him... is beyond me. It is also beyond all the rules of logic. Anyone with this much good fortune, guile, brilliance, money and self-assuredness would have found the cure for cancer by the age of 21. His character was almost as idiotic as the fact that someone actually funded the operation to unite the Mummy and his woman so that they could take on the Scorpion King. Since the operation clearly cost a great deal of money, who paid for it, and why? Moreover, since Izzy was a trailblazer with jet-propulsion engines, why was he struggling around in a desert shack (and getting shot) instead of patenting his engine specs and trying to sell them to someone? This is not the type of invention that people would laugh at, y'know? The final scene with the video game version of the Rock was, to me, an indication of how poorly conceptualized this film was. I really enjoyed the first one, but this sequel came at about twice the cost with less than half of the logic.
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This movies sucks.
Just a showcase for for ILM's effects, which are fantastic.
Bullshit story, bullshit acting, ratshit dialogue. There's nobody in the movie worth rooting for.
Only the Scorpion King. And he ain't in it long enough.
I didn't even really care when the bitch got knifed in her belly, thats how involving this shit is.
Can't believe MagaGeek Harry liked it. All I can say is get a bitch and get laid for once.
Get a fucking life instead of giving such sorry ass shit a good review. How much u get paid to write it, Bitch Harry?
Brendan Frasier is getting too Fat.
Trying to copy Raiders of the Lost Ark at the end.
Watch it for some cool effects. Thats it.
Coming out of the cinema, I coudn't fucking remember what the fuck it was all about, who the fuck the actors were, what the fuck actually happened in it, could just remember some shiny new effects.
Way I reckon I watched it because of ur review, Harry. That means u owe me 10 Bucks Bitch.
Gonna rip ur 2 incher out and stick it up ur ass. -
the mummy was a suck ass movie the effects in it sucked. the only reason we sat through it was because it was at least laughably bad. this movie is garbage its only worth seeing once and thats if you really really want to go the movies
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One more thing... was it just me, or did the four mummy assassin/priests that Imhotep dispatched after the "good guys" remind anyone else of a four part singing group? When they opened their mouths to scream incoherently (yet simultaneously), it was a lot like that group the "Way Outs" from the original Flintstone cartoon...
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The Mummy was awful, Harry must have been flown to a screening of it.
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Call me a Johnny-come-lately, but I just got around to seeing TMR and I wasn't disappointed. Every dollar they spent was on the screen with great action and special effects. I agree that the CGI of the Scorpion King looked incomplete - did you notice that they never bothered to use a close-up of the real Rock in the sequence to lend some reality to it. Other than that, the TMR is what summer and popcorn were invented for. This is not Kubrick... just go and have some fun!
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Harry, I agree with you for the most part about The Mummy Returns, but really, what do you mean, "In the first film, there was soooooo much humor, here
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The problem I have with Harry's review is not that we disagreed on the movie's worth (I thought it was a waste of 2 hours.) The problem I have with the review is that it makes it sound like the movie has a REAL PLOT, with REAL CHARACTERS: "First
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