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LORD OF THE RINGS Image Prepare To Cream!!!

Hey folks, Harry here... I just got the SIDESHOW WETA TOYS catalogue today and DEAR GOD!!! All of the statues and busts and helmets and stuff are pretty darn sweet... BUT... There is one to rule them all... One that I want right now, this very second... more than just about anything I've seen in a damn long time....


Now, for the first time, I get to bring you an Uruk Hai, the way they are meant to be seen... Wanna know a secret? The other Uruk Hai? Well, some of them even look more cool... There's this greyish muddy one,, with a white hand print on his chest and a sword that... Suweet Heyzeus it's nice looking. I've got the other images, but I'm having to scale them down and put tags on em all, but I couldn't not share this baby with you for another spare second... ENJOY.....

In the Program that came today, this is what they had to say about LURTZ...

LURTZ: Bred in the pits of Orthanc by the wizard Saruman, Lurtz was among the first of a new race of orcs to attack the fellowship. Like all Uruk-hai, Lurtz was tall, upright, strong and fearless, living to fight and kill. His mission was to hunt down and seize the hobbits for his master Saruman. 14.5" H (336mm)

© 2001 New Line Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. "The Lord of the Rings, The Fellowship of the Ring and the characters and the places therein, ™ The Saul Zaentz Company d/b/a Tolkien Enterprises under license to New Line Productions, Inc. All rights reserved." © 2001 Sideshow, Inc. and WETA Workshop, Ltd.

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  • April 16, 2001, 9:07 p.m. CST


    by Morage


  • April 16, 2001, 9:09 p.m. CST


    by Morage

    this is a Ronald McDonald. I thought he was taller. Just joking, Harry.

  • April 16, 2001, 9:14 p.m. CST

    Sweet Jesus is right

    by AaronHayden

    That's the coolest freaking "toy" I've ever seen! Not to jump to any conclusions, but this will be the greatest movie ever! Just kidding. I hope this is indicative of the rest of the Weta work because if it is, I think we're in for a great visual treat.

  • April 16, 2001, 9:20 p.m. CST

    very cool

    by skowheggan

    Forgive me, I have not read the trilogy in some years. Where do we see this hooligan?

  • April 16, 2001, 9:24 p.m. CST

    Sweet Lord of all that is Holy

    by FrogsFatA$$

    Here I am admiring these cool images, and then Harry's fat ass with Ronald? Bleck, the constant Flash images of Harry's naked ass are bad enough.

  • April 16, 2001, 9:30 p.m. CST


    by wilko185

    that's a toy? those little kiddies are gonna have nightmares....

  • April 16, 2001, 9:30 p.m. CST

    The thoughts running through Harry's head.

    by Dlhstar

    "What is that, my McMaster? You wish for me to kill the little child so she will ne'er attempt to usurp your reign? As you desire, Dark One, it shall be done. My life for you. My life for you..."

  • April 16, 2001, 9:33 p.m. CST

    I must echo skowheggan

    by AaronHayden

    As I'm sitting here thinking how frigging cool this thing is, I can't place Lurtz in my mind. When does he make his appearance in the trilogy?

  • April 16, 2001, 9:35 p.m. CST

    Holy SHIT!

    by Sir Mordred

    That's a bad ass toy. Of course it's more of a model, but anyways... Damn I can;t think of anything to say. It almost looks like a troll- but if this is an Uruk-Hai, what's an Olog-Hai?

  • April 16, 2001, 9:35 p.m. CST

    TITLE: ronald mcdonald thanking harry for helping them reach an

    by slightly_chewy

    that make up job looks cool. i hope the rest of it looks that good.

  • April 16, 2001, 9:36 p.m. CST

    Sauruman supposedly blended orcs and humans to make his sunlight

    by Critical Bill

  • April 16, 2001, 9:43 p.m. CST the way, it looks like the world's scariest sex offender.

    by Critical Bill

  • April 16, 2001, 9:47 p.m. CST

    Lurtz is invented for the film

    by wilko185

    the only such character as far as I know. there was a report on about the part he plays (I didn't read it, want SOME surprises)

  • April 16, 2001, 9:57 p.m. CST

    he looks like he's got a giant cleft a-hole!!!

    by beastie

    that's about all i have to say.

  • April 16, 2001, 10:13 p.m. CST

    Harry you RULE!!!!!

    by Fantom-Lord

    Man I dont think you really get that enough on this site. That pic looks freakin sweet I thought it was areal person at first until I saw the base that it stands on. Just wanted you to know how much I appreciate having this great site at my disposal.

  • April 16, 2001, 10:16 p.m. CST

    Please... no naysayers, okay?

    by Robin Goodfellow

    This looks damn cool, I tells ya. And if you disagree, look at that series of pics again. Nice character design for the orcs (or half-orcs/uruk hai, if you wanna get technical). Good to see they don't look like the orcs/uruk hai in Bakshi's "Lord of the Rings." With all due respect to Bakshi, the creatures looked kinda poppy. Dunno if they have it up anywhere yet, but lemme see what the Jackson/Alan Lee take is on Balrog. That'll hopefully be real shorts cremain' time. Laters

  • April 16, 2001, 10:20 p.m. CST

    I Think I Could Take Him.

    by Buzz Maverik

    Dammit, Critical Bill got in the cellmate gag before I could. I salute you, O William the Critical.

  • April 16, 2001, 10:29 p.m. CST

    Damn that looks cool

    by Sith Warrior

    That is the coolest looking model/toy ever! Well, almost. This Lurtz character is not in the book as far as I can tell - there's no mention of him in the index. Damn, I can't wait to see the other models. Harry, put them up man! BTW, does anyone know how much these things will cost, and when they will be available?

  • April 16, 2001, 10:34 p.m. CST

    ok, geeky fanboy question

    by wilko185

    I'm sure I read these half-orcs are "hatched" in the film rather than born (avoiding nasty man-orc coupling scenes presumably), so how come Lurtz appears to have A NAVEL?? answer me that

  • April 16, 2001, 10:38 p.m. CST

    Looks like something from!

    by Essemtee

    Um, not that I go there or anything. Awful, awful place!

  • April 16, 2001, 10:39 p.m. CST

    k-mart was selling this mask last halloween.

    by sulu_99

    okay, so they designed orcs that look like humans wearing halloween masks, and now people/orc hybrids made with a 5 dollar make up kit. everyone who read the books imagined beasts far more gruesome and inhuman than these. i really want these movies to look good and be good, but i can't help but think they aren't going to be better than the animated hobbit. i just don't think you *can* do a decent film adaptation of the trilogy. some books should stay books. my great hope is that the design of the rest of the film is much, much better than the orcs and uruks.

  • April 16, 2001, 10:41 p.m. CST

    Lets only hope when the design the Bateman-Balrog

    by morpheus

    They realise the nature of aura.The power of a Balrog or angel would not be indicated in size,but in the colors of their aura.That is why Satan,before his fall,is said to ,wear, all kinds of colored 'jewels'(his colored auras).When a mighty angel is mentioned in the Bible,it doen't mean gigantic sized,but exhibiting powerful color ranges.Think back of the Khazad Dum.The Balrog 'unfurled' his 'wing'(and drwew himself to a great height) before Gandalf.This is not intimidation.Aura increases size with power or energy.And so the Balrog was actually energizing himself in preparation of battle with fellow Maiar,Gandalf.That is why in Ezekiel,the four winged angels before God,'unfolded' their 'wings' when they flew.Not because they need wings to fly but the 'wings' are auras that increased size to show the level of energy needed to 'fly'.Of course the Balrog of Tolkien would be similar to the Satan of Blake who has black eyeless wings emerging from 'iron'(or at least the aura) shoulder blade.Blake certainly is aware of colors as an indication of emotion for humans and angels alike.His angels become angry ,not by chnging their facial emotions but their auras.Thus Tolkien wrote to Zimmerman that the Balrog dosen't do anythin' else ,like growl, but just standin there..The only apparent display of emotion from the Balrog wouldn't be facial but from the auras.......

  • April 16, 2001, 10:42 p.m. CST

    Fuck you Harry

    by Poon McTastin'

    You fat shit, where is the spoiler tag.....Just fucking with you guys, this shit is cool.

  • April 16, 2001, 10:46 p.m. CST



    Now I know what my wife means when she says that I am hung like a Lurtz.

  • April 16, 2001, 10:57 p.m. CST


    by ElPollo Diablo

    DAMN! I haven't seen models that good since the old Quake II models produced by that spawn guy...why is it I can never remember his name?

  • April 16, 2001, 11:05 p.m. CST

    I Like His Music When I Was In Jr. High....

    by Buzz Maverik

    ...and I still have his albums in my storage unit. I saw him in concert back in '80 and even though I was stoned on Yukon Jack and blotter acid, I can tell you that he's much shorter in person.

  • April 16, 2001, 11:07 p.m. CST

    Ugly As Sin. But A Sweet Gal...

    by Buzz Maverik

    and a helluva good cook! -- John Hughes, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.

  • April 16, 2001, 11:22 p.m. CST

    Lurtz is... **SPOLIERS**

    by Leonides

    For anyone who cares, Lurtz is the leader of the Orcs who attack the Fellowship at Amon Hen. No, he isn't mentioned in the books -- but in the films he will play the two pivitol rolls: he will introduce the audience to the Uruk-Hai and he'll be the one to deal the deathblow to Boromir. It should be noted, however, that his name is never mentioned in the film. However, "Orc #3" isn't very marketable as a toy now is it? I think he looks scary as all hell. Can't wait to see him in action.

  • April 16, 2001, 11:33 p.m. CST


    by inthetrenches

    that last shot is fake. nice try harry.

  • April 16, 2001, 11:51 p.m. CST

    yeah, fake

    by wilko185

    look closely, harry is photoshopped in

  • April 16, 2001, 11:52 p.m. CST

    Cool Mullet

    by DomisInnerChild

    I bet he's good at hockey, eh.

  • April 17, 2001, 12:07 a.m. CST

    It's fake, but you got it wrong...

    by Psyberia

    harry is not photoshopped's Lurtz that is out of place. You can tell by the lighting and the fact that Lurtz casts no shadow underneath! Nice try, Harry.

  • April 17, 2001, 12:12 a.m. CST

    You know a guy tells a joke

    by DomisInnerChild

    and everybody gets it. Then this other guy points out that he's wrong and explains what really is going wrong. Everybody kind of looks at him funny, then walk away. I just thought of guys who do that, I don't know why.

  • April 17, 2001, 1:05 a.m. CST

    What Harry was REALLY saying during this shoot...

    by Lazarus Long

    "So whaddaya think, Ronnie, how about a 50 piece McNuggets? 6 is an appetizer, 9 is child's play, and 20 is for pussies who can't go the distance. I'm thinking $6.99 for the box, $3.50 for us, ahh, INSIDERS, if you know what I mean...also, what are your thoughts on a Full Slab version of the McRib? Personally I'm droolin' at the thought of it..."

  • April 17, 2001, 1:17 a.m. CST

    Oh my me!

    by Bobby 6

    Now this is not what I imagined an Orc to look like, I was thinking sort of War Hammerish, but this is something else, something better. This is a trruly evil looking bastard and I like it alot. If this is any indication then Harry is right Weta truly are geniuses! You have just made me even more excited than I already was!

  • April 17, 2001, 1:27 a.m. CST

    too damn subtle, that's my problem

    by wilko185

    and I see I posted my geek question way too early....

  • April 17, 2001, 1:41 a.m. CST

    You know a guy tells a joke

    by BoBaBrain

    Well said... But just as you're about to say something to this weird guy you realise that maybe HE's also joking. Maybe it's a double joke. Maybe it's, like, a bluff bluff. Maybe anybody can plead sarcasm and get away with it these days. Maybe the problem with cynicism based comedy is that people soon become cynical of cynicism. Or maybe he's is just stupid. I said it before and I say it again*:

  • April 17, 2001, 1:44 a.m. CST

    Or maybe it's 2:30am...

    by DomisInnerChild

    Sorry if that was double sarcasm or whatever. Humor escapes me right now.

  • April 17, 2001, 1:52 a.m. CST


    by Gabba-UK

    I Don't regonise the two charecters in the middle? Which one of Tolkins books are they from?? Especialy the one in the middle. What is he, some sort of troll perhaps?.......

  • April 17, 2001, 1:53 a.m. CST

    what I SHOULD have said

    by wilko185

    was "er, no I really was being stupid.."that would have thrown you.**anyway I seem to not have mentioned how great this orc looks.It's the first spoilerish image Ive let myself see( except nazgul I suppose) and Im VERY impressed.

  • April 17, 2001, 1:56 a.m. CST

    THAT orc, of course

    by BoBaBrain

    I've always thought they should look more like this

  • April 17, 2001, 3:06 a.m. CST

    The more I see...

    by BG

    ...from these films, the more I like. If he doesn't scare the hair off Merry and pippin's toes, I don't know what will. I presume that when he attacks the fellowship he will be wearing more clothes/armour than he is here (otherwise, where will he keep his sword and arrows?). If that is the case this must be a post-hatching/training image of him, from Isengard. Since nobody else has mentioned it, LOTR will kick Star Wars' ass! I'm sorry but somebody had to mention it.

  • April 17, 2001, 3:38 a.m. CST

    I am better Hung Ladies

    by Gandalf The Grey

    ladies, if you think he is well hung, you gotta take a look at what I behold.

  • April 17, 2001, 5:05 a.m. CST


    by SirReal

    ...not more than one critical talkbacker bashing away at the uncoolness of these pictures! Where are the flames? Where is the venom? Come on, I know you're out there somewhere sharpening hour keyboards. Let the battle begin. -S

  • April 17, 2001, 6:14 a.m. CST

    Umm... O.K. I got a flame.

    by BoBaBrain

    I think this picture smells like poo. Other than that, it's the greatest thing I have ever seen... WITH MY EYES!

  • April 17, 2001, 6:33 a.m. CST


    by UnderBoy

    I read that so called "news article" and am appalled at the author's incredible lack of most journalists call "facts" See, I go to Georgetown University, and am certain there is no such person as Dr Shaw, or any Center For American Studies. In the future I suggest you avoid this journal because it doesn't seem too bothered by a lack of thorough research. UnderBoy!

  • April 17, 2001, 7:19 a.m. CST

    Lurtz Appearance in the Movie

    by Gandalf The Grey

    Peter Jackson has alter some of the content surrounding Lurtz, basically he has expanded the role of the leader of the orc horde that take Merry and Pippen captive. This ugly fuck is the guy that killed Boromir I believe, so basically they have created the role of Lurtz from an unknown character which is not discussed much in the books, I believe. One question, this cat looks like he is sufferin from skin cancer, I thought these Orcs are suppose to be able to withstand the light? Anyway, I apologize for my lack of decorum above and wish you a Good day. BTW, apologizes also for the lack of organization used in my writing.

  • April 17, 2001, 7:20 a.m. CST

    Lurtz Appearance in the Movie

    by Gandalf The Grey

    Peter Jackson has alter some of the content surrounding Lurtz, basically he has expanded the role of the leader of the orc horde that take Merry and Pippen captive. This ugly fuck is the guy that killed Boromir I believe, so basically they have created the role of Lurtz from an unknown character which is not discussed much in the books, I believe. One question, this cat looks like he is sufferin from skin cancer, I thought these Orcs are suppose to be able to withstand the light? Anyway, I apologize for my lack of decorum above and wish you a Good day. BTW, apologizes also for the lack of organization used in my writing.

  • April 17, 2001, 10:50 a.m. CST

    who's that fat guy trying to eat ronald mcdonald?

    by kzonk

    that guy's gonna eat lurtz out of a job!!!

  • April 17, 2001, 11:38 a.m. CST


    by tcbdness

    This character named Lurtz is obviously based on Ugl

  • April 17, 2001, 11:43 a.m. CST

    The caption under the third picture reads

    by Canis

    "After successfully mixing Orc and Human Dna Saruman is disappointed with his Uruk-Hai/Clown crossbreed experiment"

  • April 17, 2001, 2:14 p.m. CST

    IT AIN'T A %$@#*&^ TRILOGY.......

    by Skyway Moaters ding dang knuckleheaded ninnyhammers!!! *** Oh, an' namarie an' trubba not. {;-0

  • April 17, 2001, 2:14 p.m. CST

    IT AIN'T A %$@#*&^ TRILOGY.......

    by Skyway Moaters ding dang knuckleheaded ninnyhammers!!! *** Oh, an' namarie an' trubba not. {;-0

  • April 17, 2001, 2:19 p.m. CST

    Lurtz's role in the Film *SPOILERS*

    by SFA

    **********SPOLIERS********** Lurtz is the Uruk-Hai - as said above, who kills Boromir at the end of FOTR. According to someone who saw the 20 minute sneak preview, he shoots MORE THAN ONE arrow into Boromir POINT BLANK. Aragorn is said to remove Lurtz's head from his body before the first film ends. He is not the leader however, UGLUK is the leader of this band of Uruk-Hai. ***********SPOLIERS************

  • April 17, 2001, 2:20 p.m. CST

    AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *creamed*... uhhh ouch

    by BloodDonorMan

    Thanks Harry, it's not often us geeks get to do that (well, depending on our access to porn). Ronald McDonald always gets me hot! Who the heck were those other 2 freaks?

  • April 17, 2001, 4:10 p.m. CST

    The only problem with Lurtz is when he gets aroused....

    by Bregalad_

    he passes out.

  • Im usually one to bitch and moan , but this does look pretty f***ing good.Jackson's going for some sort of toned down Hyper- realism, where everything looks basic and brutal.{Avoiding the Games workshop /meets fashion Show , look of the Dungeons and Dragons movie}.Im not sure about the grotestque, red bearded troll in the last pic though... is that Gingerflabb from *The Fellowship of the Ring*?

  • April 17, 2001, 5:17 p.m. CST

    Looks like someone forgot their Coppertone...

    by Doctor Gonzo

    That'll teach him!

  • April 17, 2001, 5:37 p.m. CST

    The other two...

    by Black Dwarf

    from the left, are Tom Bombadil and Fatty Bolger. Obviously Tom will at least appear in the DVD. ----------------------------------------And as for Lurtz dealing the death blow, that's impossible. Boromir had a nice long chat with Aragorn long after the Hobbits had been taken away. Thus, one supposes, he was not dead yet.-----------------And also, I wonder, will all the Uruk-hai look like a He-Man zombie?-------------------------------------And also, an olog-hai is one of the new light-tolerant trolls.------But really! If uruk-hai are a blend of orcs and humans, you wouldn't expect them to be superhuman, would you? Just super-orc, somewhere between your average orc and your average human. Hopefully these statues won't have much bearing on the movie.

  • April 17, 2001, 6:21 p.m. CST

    And when did Lurtz usurp Ugluck for cripes sake ?!

    by Skyway Moaters


  • April 17, 2001, 7:34 p.m. CST

    Oh, my God! That THING in the Hawaiian shirt is HIDEOUS!

    by Darth Taun Taun

    Lurtz, Harry and Ronald McDonald walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get you?" All three simultaneously reply, "4,000 pounds of raw, bloody flesh." The bartender is not surprised.

  • April 17, 2001, 7:56 p.m. CST

    LOTR image: cool, Harry and Ronald: awesome, Stanley Spector: a

    by AntoniusBloc

    the orc is impressive, but that Harry Mcdonald pic is a keeper, i'm emailing it to everyone i know. Stanley, i'll agree with you on one thing, rpg 's are boring. How could you not finish reading one of the greatest works of fiction ever written, i think the second best selling in the twentieth century? I am no purist, but if you think watching the films, as great as they might turn out, will replace the experience of reading the books, then i understand why you wasted your money on one of the most un deserving best picture oscar winners in history, American Beauty. I think every film competing with it that year was ten times better. You can't appreciate LOTR, yet you purchase and hope for easter eggs on one of the stupidist movies ever made. Anyway, the new images of LoTr in some Swedish magazine look awesome also. no movie will ever live up to the books, but if they come close, they can still turn out to be great films. so far, i am optimistic.

  • April 17, 2001, 8:45 p.m. CST

    Harry Knowles

    by RevJesseCuster

  • April 17, 2001, 10:05 p.m. CST

    good point gastbona, BUT...

    by AntoniusBloc

    i agree with you about Tolkien, but i think PJ understands this view also. from what i've seen and heard, PJ seems to want to try to depict a true faerie story. a faerie story that feels like it was historically true. i don't think that takes away from the supernatural tone, something i don't think a director like PJ would want to do anyway, i think he loves the supernatural stuff and could n't resist putting it in the film. at the same time, he is protecting more against it being a typical fantasy film we have seen in the past, who's creators don't seem to understand Tolkien's sophisticated view of a faerie story. For example, elves aren't skinny little cute magical creatures who bake cookies or make toys for Santa, but tall, angelic beings,still with supernatural powers, and are great warriors. that seems more of true description of elves, more historical, even if they are not real(right?). PJ seems to understand this. from what i've seen and read, i think the supernatural aspects of LOTR will definitely be there,but the supernatural won't seem super unless the natural is convincing.Tolkien was awesome at taking advantage of this. take Gandalf, tolkien at first convinces us he's just an old majician doing simple tricks for young hobbits, suddenly he goes from a "grey old man"to "Gandalf the Grey uncloaked, growing tall and menacing in front of Bilbo".with the images so far and rumors about the story, some purists are even saying PJ is going too far with the supernatural wizard battles. i think PJ is taking the right approach for film, and shows a good understanding of how Tolkien's world and characters should be depicted.

  • April 17, 2001, 10:35 p.m. CST

    Who's the orc with the red hair?

    by BV

    For some reason he makes me hungry?

  • April 17, 2001, 10:37 p.m. CST

    nonono, i mean the one without the beard

    by BV


  • April 17, 2001, 10:41 p.m. CST


    by IAmTheFool

    Holy fucking SHIT! I want it! I have GOT to get this for my cubicle at work so he can scare the shit out of the office manager. All I have now is a three-inch Darth Maul. Don't get me wrong, Maul's still damn cool, but he just can't compare to 14 1/2 inches of pink, throbbing Uruk-hai coolness. MUST HAVE IT!

  • April 17, 2001, 10:43 p.m. CST

    Which is more terrifying????

    by RaoulLowry

    Harry or Lurtz... your decide! I don't know about you, but Ronald McDonald gives me the creeps. Especially Harry with Ronald! Nah, I'm just joking! Very cool pics, and doesn't the first two pics belong with the LOTR statue section?

  • April 17, 2001, 10:51 p.m. CST

    interesting points, gastbona and antonius

    by wilko185

    I would just add that as I understand it Lurtz is one the half-human orcs. the full-blooded ones will look more "orcish", hopefully without getting too Games-workshoppish. IMO Lurtz isnt a bad name, orc language is meant to be crude and "uncouth". also I thought names like Shagrat and Gorbag were not actual Black Speech, but the anglisized versions (like hobbit names are translated out of Westron). Porrtaying the "supernatural" element of the "good" side will be more challenging, without falling into the trap of spraying spangly glitter over everything, but I like the tone of the little Ive seen. Also, gotta respect Harry for putting that photo up. I mean, if you looked like that, would you set yourself for all these lame jokes?

  • April 17, 2001, 10:56 p.m. CST

    actually, they're not all lame jokes

    by wilko185

    "no man is an island...except Harry" is fuckin funny

  • April 18, 2001, 1:42 a.m. CST

    It's David Naughton back for revenge following that crap sequel

    by Monkey_King

    Oh how the mighty have fallen. He's wearing a loin cloth for chrissakes! Spent too much time in the tanning booth is what I'm thinking.

  • April 18, 2001, 10:26 a.m. CST

    I can TOLERATE Lurtz if...

    by chrisd

    he is not referred to by name in the movies.

  • April 18, 2001, 11:56 a.m. CST

    Looks cool, but..

    by Dragonfire

    this whole lurtz thing worries. How much else has peter jackson changed. I can accept small changes which are necessary to make LOTR into a movie but I hope jackson's not overdoing it. I think the books are dramatic enough as they are. They dont need unnecessary villains which seem more like excuses for action figures.

  • April 18, 2001, 11:04 p.m. CST

    Lurtz: Live and in action

    by greedo1028

    Check out the new pics posted at to see Lurtz as he looks in the film. I admit, the statue itself left something to be desired. When I saw these pictures of Lurtz and Saruman, however, I became a believer.