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SURVIVOR Returns!! Talk Back!!

I am – Hercules!!

Last week’s rerunny stopgap (designed to shoehorn the season finale into sweeps) admittedly didn’t offer much in the way of newness; but it was still better than skipping a week (or a straight repeat of 2.1), right?

We now watch to see if things go horribly wrong with Colby’s insidious plan. But what COULD go wrong? Will Jerri and Amber figure out Colby’s true allegiance lies with Keith and Tina and form an unholy alliance with the few remaining ex-Kuchas? Will Kentucky Joe seduce Tina into betraying Colby and Keith? Will Keith be eaten by unlucky Kangeroos?

It seems almost a fait accompli now that Colby, Keith and Tina will make it to the final episode. Was Team Burnett wise to air Colby’s plan so early? Will it help or hurt the suspense generated by these last five episodes?

The only real wild cards appear to be the immunity challenges. Assuming Keith keeps winning these, Nick will be bounced back to the world tonight, followed in succession by Kentucky Joe, Elisabeth, Jerri and Amber.

At the Museum of Television and Radio’s recent “Survivor” event in Los Angeles, season-one winner Richard Hatch sat beside a straight-faced Mark Burnett and Jeff Probst and predicted Colby would win the million. If you feel compelled to scour for other clues, here’s the Coax coverage.

I dunno!

Readers Talkback
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  • March 28, 2001, 10:06 p.m. CST


    by MrToxie

    first, first ever post so i just had to...

  • March 28, 2001, 10:40 p.m. CST


    by BustaFart

  • March 28, 2001, 10:43 p.m. CST


    by BustaFart

    I'm pretty sure Jerri's ass is gone tonight, nipple or no nipple. Ogakor can do so without loosing any leverage over Kucha, so why wouldn't they vote Jerri out? You can also expect Tina and Keith to grab Elizabeth and maybe Kentucky Joe to vote Colby off in 3 weeks. Oh, and Robert Rodriguez's SPY KIDS RULES!!!

  • March 29, 2001, 4:08 a.m. CST

    I Think Elisabeth Will Go Before Rodger

    by godzthor1

    Rodger catches fish. Has anyone ever seen Elisabeth catch a fish? Unless Nick starts winning I.C.s, Rodger will be the Last Kucha Standing.

  • March 29, 2001, 5:53 a.m. CST

    Nick tonight

    by majorq007

    I think Ogawhore will stick together and pick off Nick. Then Rodger next week, but Liz will win a string of immunities and stay at least until the final four. At any rate, why does AICN suddenly have a talkback for survivor? I mean,it's only been gone for one week, and they haven't had any other talkbacks. i'm not bitching, just curious.

  • March 29, 2001, 7:03 a.m. CST

    One chromosone too many...

    by bswise

    Yeah, explain to me how in hollywood heck all the women are so nicely shaved, legs and pits, bikini lines neatly waxed, hair conditioned and blow-dried, clothes more or less clean, and did I see a crease? How many weeks have the supposedly been "out" there? The men seem to have a permanent 2-day stubble. Does anyone actually believe that "psycho" Mike could have fallen into a fire, hands first, received 3rd degree burns and hidden this fact from his wife and family until the show aired months later? Looked like cheap latex to me. I also like how the "wild" pig (also too clean) instantly became neatly carved chops from the butcher shop. OH DARE I SUGGEST THAT SURVIVOR IS NOTHING MORE THAN A... TV SHOW?!?!? Probably filmed in its entirety over a 2-week period. Nawww, of course it's "real" one of the contestants would have blown the whistle by now. OH WAIT, they're not allowed to say a word about the show by legal agreement. Aw, but come on, next, I'll probably try and tell you that the people on "Blind Date" and "Temptation Island" are just wannabee actor models and strippers (of which LA will forever an endless disposable supply of). Wake the fuck up people, no wonder so many people think of Resident Bush as just a good ol' boy and not the inbred half-wit son of a international oil barron whose own father harbored Nazi money in a New York bank well into the 1950's - ah, but I digress....

  • March 29, 2001, 7:51 a.m. CST

    Destiny's Child soundtrack now?

    by senor_rubia

    hehe... couldn't resist that one. "I'm a sur-vivor, I'm not gonna give up"... that just screams commercial there. Not that that's a bad thing. Sorry, bswise, but I'm of the belief that good TV is GOOD TV. Simple as that. Sure, my radar kinda went up when I heard about Mike, but who the heck CARES if its fake? I honestly don't think that you can fake personal relationships that well, but if they do, then kudos to them, 'cause I'm hooked! I hope, I pray every night that the forked-tongue one will not win. Like Keith said, I don't care if any of them win, I just don't want to see J--- win. Peace out...

  • March 29, 2001, 7:51 a.m. CST

    Actually, that's "One chromosoMe too many...

    by bswise

    ...but he wore a hat, and he had a job, and he brought home the bacon, so no one know...."

  • March 29, 2001, 8:09 a.m. CST

    I mean No On KNEW goddamit!

    by bswise

    Me gud riter. Well, I guess that depends on what you're definition of "good" is. We here in the west have high tolerance for ham-fisted hokum and "human" dramas especially when it involves gossip and backstabbing. Oh yes, and money. There's got to be shiteloads of money. As Scorcese's character in Quiz Show ("The Sponsor") states, "People just wanna watch the money." So anyway, it's pretty obvious that Mr. Highhorse here (me) has watched at least the first several episodes so I'll just shuttup. Speaking of soundtracks though, I though it was pretty funny how the band Survivor ("Eye of the Tigah") sued the show. Will the real Survivor please stand up?

  • March 29, 2001, 10:47 a.m. CST

    If I were Colby (which I'm not)

    by Kikstad

    If I were Colby, I'd want to keep Jerri around until the very end. She's so evil and everybody on the show seems to hate her guts that he'd be guaranteed the million dollars if the final two were him and Jerri the Evil One. But what do I know? By the way, Boot Camp sucked last night.

  • March 29, 2001, 12:44 p.m. CST

    Usual Survivors

    by joee60

    Nick is gone tonight, unless he wins immunity; after that it gets more complex. I think Tina (Keyser Soze) and Keith will vote Colby out before Amber and Jerri. Colby is too much of a threat and it's obvious he's been playing both sides for a long time now. Why would Tina or Jerri show him any loyalty now? About some of the other negative comments, of course Survivor is just a TV show... "The Sopranos" isn't a real family either...Mike was photographed with his fingers all bandaged up, weeks after he was off the show.

  • March 29, 2001, 3:03 p.m. CST

    If it was fake...

    by Domi'sInnerChild

    Why did Kimmi and Jerri get so ugly so fast? They might be slipping the castaways some hygine products, but I think the show is legit for the most part. They may even have slightly drugged the pig and may "help" a few more situations occur, but I think that's about the extent of it. I mean, adding a little drama isn't a bad thing. You don't want Survivor to become Big Brother do you?

  • March 29, 2001, 6:03 p.m. CST

    YAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (spoilers)

    by senor_rubia

    THEY FINALLY VOTED JERRI OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YIPPPEEEEE!!!! This TOTALLY makes up for "Gladiator" winning Best Picture.

  • March 29, 2001, 6:20 p.m. CST

    the bitch has left the building

    by Al_Gore

    O THANK YOU GOD ALL MIGHTY. THE FEMALE SATAN WAS FINALLY VOTED OFF. Thankyou Keith and Tina. thankyou soooooooooooooo much. I can finally live in peace with my surroundings. Haalelooyaaaaaaa.....

  • March 29, 2001, 6:39 p.m. CST

    bye bye, Jerri... I will miss you...

    by Pizza The Hut

    ...NOT!!... Now she can go back from wherever she came... THANK GOD!!! About the only vocabulary I heard out of her mouth every other minute was, "Ooooohhhhh, my Gaaaawwwwddddd!!!". I don't know who said it more often; Jerri, or Amber (the Jerri wanna-be). I lost count a long time ago... I wonder how many stalkers this Jerri has back in the real world? TRANSLATION: Psychos love to brag to others about how many stalkers they have. It makes them feel important. FURTHER TRANSLATION: Psycho plays with boy's mind, eats him up, spits him out, calls cops on him for no valid reason, boy gets pissed-off big time, she moves on to next victim. Shazam! Instant stalker! Cops just love this type of girl... Oh, well... I'm rambling... Anyway, THANK GOD my sweet Elisabeth is still there!

  • March 29, 2001, 6:39 p.m. CST

    Ding Dong the Bitch is Dead!

    by Cookleberry

    YES!!!!! HA HA!!!!! Goodbye bitch! Don't let a croc snap you in the ass on the way out! This is the best survivor since the lord of the flys fell asleep in the fire. I LOVE ELIZABETH!!!!!

  • March 29, 2001, 7:25 p.m. CST

    The ballancing challenge was a good one

    by Eyegore

    One on one action. It was a good contest. I'm glad Jerri's finally voted off just because I'd hate to see the bitch win the money, but on the other hand she did make things interesting. BSWISE: The whole thing takes place over 40 days if you didn't know. What's weeks to us is days to them. I wouldn't be suprised or annoyed if the girls had a razor to shave with. It's no big deal. Doesn't mean the show is fake.

  • March 29, 2001, 8:07 p.m. CST

    Texan better be more lucky than stupid!

    by mr. hippo

    I love Jerri and freely admit it. However,voting Jerri out tonight was stupid for a couple of reasons: first, love her or hate her, what she brought to the group dynamic made 'Survivor II' interesting and now there are nothing but bland castaways left... wouldn't be surprised to a see a small but discernable drop in ratings next week; second, Colby had a sweet deal and a clear run to the million dollars as the swing vote between Keith and Tina, and Jerri and Amber... he was the key vote for the last few weeks of the entire group but now Colby, Tina and Keith have isolated and alienated Amber so that she now becomes the key swing vote between the three remaining Kucha members and the other three Okakor members. If Amber is wise enough to realize her position she can forge a new alliance with Kucha next week, vote Colby, Keith and Tina off in succession the next three weeks (barring the immunity challenge 3 weeks from now) and take her chances on winning immunity in direct competition with the other three Kucha tribe members 4 weeks from now; better to compete against Nick and Rodger rather than Keith and Colby at the end. Should realize she is screwed if she stays with the Okakor alliance and forge a new path for herself to increase her chances of winning. Mark Mr. Hippo's words... if Amber realizes the key position she is now in, then Colby is gone next week, barring him winning immunity. One vote and Colby probably just cost himself a million dollars. That what Mr. Hippo calls good ol'boy stupid. But God, I'll miss Jerri. Beautiful, manipulative, an actress and a bitch... just Mr. Hippo's type.

  • March 29, 2001, 9:41 p.m. CST

    Elisabeth rocks my world!

    by spunksf

    I am such a total loser, I was totally mournful thinking that we were going to lose our dear, sweet Elisabeth and I'm almost embarressed by how happy I am that Jerri is now departed. So, do you get the idea that I'm filled with joy that Jerri is gone. People are saying that Jerri brought conflict to the game. While that's true, the show will be more exciting without her, because now I have no idea who'll get voted off next week. It's better television and it makes me happy! In closing, Elisabeth, shine on you crazy diamond!

  • March 30, 2001, 5:07 a.m. CST

    WOOHOO !!

    by B A Fett

    No more Jerri. 'nuff said.

  • March 30, 2001, 6:06 a.m. CST

    Jerri's History

    by Alphi1

    Now, what do you guys think are the odds that now that Jerri is out of the picture, but not really, since she'll be on the "Jury", that this sets things up for her to pull a "Susan" and essentially pick who she wants to win at the end, by making a speech about the other remaining survivor?

  • March 30, 2001, 6:17 a.m. CST

    Hairy taco?

    by Edsel

    Thanks for painting THAT beautiful Rembrandt in my mind.

  • March 30, 2001, 9:28 a.m. CST

    Hairy Taco: It's what's for dinner!

    by senor_rubia

    I don't think Jerri will be a threat to Colby... remember, there was two votes Jeff didn't read, so she could still be in la-la land and think Colby wouldn't vote for his sweety. BTW, did anybody else think it was pathetic that she considered the Barrier Reef deal a "first date" (or even a "honeymoon without the sex")? I thought that was pretty damn funny.

  • March 30, 2001, 9:29 a.m. CST

    Fellow losers... I know you're out there!

    by Sidewinding

    Because of there have already been a couple before me! This is how much of a loser I am: I dwelled on the 1/2 second shot of Elisabeth's cleavage during the rewards challenge. As KC from Stern likes to say... "NIIIICE!!!"

  • March 30, 2001, 10:51 a.m. CST

    Thanks for the reminder!

    by Cap'n Slapnutz

    My gawd! I completely forgot that I had made a mental note to rewind to the elisabeth over the wall scene! Ack! Nope, no losers here...... -cap'n-

  • March 30, 2001, 11:18 a.m. CST

    Hairy Taco?...

    by Pizza The Hut

    ...I sure don't think of it as hairy taco! ...more like a "Venus Fly Trap"! ...or should I say "Penis Fly Trap"? ouch!!

  • March 30, 2001, 11:37 a.m. CST


    by Domi'sInnerChild

    Damn, I didn't remember until last night. In the second episode, Kal (Cal?) gave up two of his razors (luxury item) as damage control over the Jerri created "beef jerky" incident. That's why the women are still looking un-French and the guys Miami Vice. I agree Amber is a total wild card now. Depending on how trusting she is, she might think the old people turned on Jerri and her aliance with Colby is still on (her fear now is that it's 2-on-2 in the Final Four and she's not guarenteed about getting into the final three). If she's smart, she figured out Colby is double agent guy and will try to build a new aliance. With who, is anybody's guess. If she stays with her old three, it's back to picking off the other tribe. If she switches teams, Elizabeth is saved (but I doubt this will happen because Amber has to know there's a great chance of their close nit group turning on her as soon as they regain the advantage). Or maybe she'll try to splinter both groups and make an all girl aliance (to vote off stong). Also, Jerri was butt ugly once she got a little rugged, I won't miss her at all.

  • March 30, 2001, 12:04 p.m. CST

    Jerri is brilliant!

    by Hardyboy

    I think what a lot of people forget (or just ignore) about Jerri is that she's an aspiring actress, and I have no doubt that her onscreen persona was pretty much an act. I'm sure she was interested in winning the million bucks; but I think she also took to heart the fact that the original Survivors who got the most media attention were the slimeball (Rich), the bitch on wheels (Susan), and the hotties (Colleen and Jenna), and she decided to combine all of these qualities into one package. The postings about Jerri--which seem to all break down to "I hate her guts, but, Christ, I want to see her naked body!"--prove that this ploy worked. And I'm sure it worked with some producers out there, too. Someone who's involved with a show like Nash Bridges is right now probably thinking, "We need a hot babe to play the cold-blooded bitch. . .hey! what about that Survivor woman?" Jerri may not have won the big prize, but let's face it, she's no loser.

  • March 30, 2001, 1:39 p.m. CST

    Jerri's afterlife

    by Kyze

    The problem with saying that Jerri played the game well is that as opposed to Rich or Sue, who people loved to hate, people just universally loathe Jerri. No one loves to hate her, people just HATE her. Although... it has been reported that Jerri's whole persona was an act. Alicia, both on Howard Stern and Opie and Anthony said that she has spent a lot of time with Jerri since the show ended, and that she is NOTHING like she was on the show. And c'mon, she aint that hot. She can't hold a candle to Elizabeth or Amber (or Colleen or Gretchen for that matter)... heck, I even think Tina's hotter than Jerri. Tina is the ultimate MILF!

  • March 30, 2001, 1:41 p.m. CST


    by Kyze

    In that last post i meant "Colleen and Jenna" not "Colleen and Gretchen" although Gretchen wasnt half bad either.

  • March 30, 2001, 2:35 p.m. CST

    Jerri's Acting Career

    by Domi'sInnerChild

    A 30-something aspiring actress? Can you say expiration date is coming? She'll be forgotten as fast as Effie "And this week, Effie gets pissed off" Perez from Road Rules 2.

  • March 30, 2001, 2:43 p.m. CST

    Tribal pacts

    by joee60

    I'm rooting for Amber 100%, but she might not be the swing vote people are thinking. There could be a new tribal alliance: Tina and Keith and Rodger and Elisabeth vs Colby, Nick, Amber. In this structure, Colby will be the first to go, given he doesn't win immunity... then Nick, then Amber. Immunity challenges are going to more and more a life and death matter for those outside the "new Alliance"

  • March 30, 2001, 3:17 p.m. CST

    I can buy this

    by Domi'sInnerChild

    I think I was trying to go this route and then I was sidetracked by lesbian thoughts. It follows the "eliminate the strong" strategy and could happen. There also is the posibility the rumored Colby injury could throw everything out of wack.

  • March 30, 2001, 3:46 p.m. CST

    Jerri, good looking?!

    by Pikaroth

    I simply fail to see why anyone thinks Jerri is even remotely attractive. One could point out her hair (not just in the show, but in interviews after, too), but look at those fake teeth! I first noticed that they were completely flat (not straight like most people, but *flat* with no incisors or anything), and as the weeks went on, they just looked more and more like false teeth. Uhg. I agree with most people around the country; no one likes to hate her. They simply *hate* her. She acting career is not going to take off in the least, and I fully believe she will be forgotton before the others. It seems as though everyone is attempting to be the next Rudy. I cannot count the times I have heard, "I made a promise, so I am going to stick by it" speech when voting. No one will ever be Rudy because he was genuine. He believed in the pact he made. Also, people comparing Jerri to Richard? I fail to understand that, either. I was hoping Rich or Rudy would win from Day 1 on the island. As an added bonus, his reaction when he won the immunity challenge while starting the fire is the absolute finest "winning moment" ever. Some people might remember the "Do you believe in miracles?!" from the Olympics for the U.S. vs. U.S.S.R. hockey game, but that does not even come close to Richard's dance. I think a majority of the females from Survivor and Survivor 2 are also superior looking to Jerri in every way. There are no doubts Elisabeth is the cutest, followed by Amber ((Rudy wanna-be)bellybutton ring as got to go, though), Kimmi, and I agree with a poster above, even Tina (MILF) is better looking. Colleen and Gretchen surpass her in every way. Jerri's attitude backfired on her both on the show and in life after the show. Brandon

  • March 30, 2001, 5:16 p.m. CST

    Well, she's not UGLY. . .

    by Hardyboy

    Jerri's worst feature is her profile, which is all edges, angles, and points. Otherwise, are any of you guys gonna tell me you'd toss her out of bed? Ri-i-i-ight! And I stand by what I said: if anything, Jerri has become the most notorious, most talked-about member of this rather bland and forgettable crew. She's the one who'll be doing Hollywood Squares, guest-cohosting when Kelly Ripa is on maternity leave, making commercials. . .and we'll WATCH. God help us, how we'll watch. . .

  • March 30, 2001, 6:05 p.m. CST


    by johnnylong

  • March 30, 2001, 6:09 p.m. CST

    How Colby has a chance...

    by Doh-Doh!

    Either way, the man would have been screwed when he got to the final 3, be it with Amber & Jerri or Keith & Tina. What he has to do now is get another 1 or 2 Kuchas out of there, then split up Keith & Tina by getting rid of one of them. Of course, since this has all already taken place, my suggestions would be rather pointless. : )

  • March 30, 2001, 6:18 p.m. CST

    Mutiny on the Barramundi

    by johnnylong

    Ahoy mateys! I love a good mutiny,and last night's episode didnt disappoint.That slippery fish Jerri was reeled in and gutted on national TV! Arrg,how I loves to hate her. I woulda just about died if that cute little Elisabeth got the hook,she's a pirate's dream: a sunken chest.....

  • March 30, 2001, 6:41 p.m. CST

    Not me!

    by Domi'sInnerChild

    I, for one, would not go out of my way to watch anything because Jerri's on it. I even skipped her on Blind Date when I was full on rabid watching Survivor earlier in the season (I've missed chunks of the past two episodes). The thing is, she's a bitch, but she's not an entertaining one. There's probably been a half dozen more entertaining bitches from Real World and Road Rules and you rarely see them except for the reunion shows. I just don't see her parlaying this into more than a 12 month career. And yes, I would kick her out of bed for eating crackers. She's not that cute, and it ain't just the creepy hag-like angles in her profile. She's not even butter (as in, "she's got a nice body, but her face").

  • March 30, 2001, 6:42 p.m. CST

    Wellllll... now that I think about it...

    by Pizza The Hut

    Yeah... You're right, Hardyboy... I guess she'd be worth a good screw... but just watch out the next day when she yells, "RAPE!!!" I wouldn't put it past her... After splitting the cuntry, you might have to split the country!! haha

  • March 31, 2001, 10:25 a.m. CST

    F is for Fake

    by bswise

    Sorry to pee on your campfire, but keep in mind there's a crew of at least several dozen behind that camera and a tent city of hundereds nearby on this ranch they're calling the "outback." Far be it from me to suggest that they would have any influence over the contestants who must "act" like they're alone "out there" at all times. But where did Jerri's idea that the first loser had beef jerkey come from? I heard it come from the camera crew. Pretty much everyone has had some gimick that has led to their "surprise" ousting, the Mike falls in the fire bit (conveniently evening the two tribe's numbers right before they merged) seeming the most obviously staged. Do you really think if someone were seriously injured that everyone would just stand around looking worried but not at the camera? My feeling is that everyone is very nicely paid off for their participation, neatly made over and set up with a few showbiz carrots on a stick. Yeah, they do a good job of pumping up the conflict, editing it, packaging it so it's fun, and truth is wayyyyyy out of style. When this show run its course over the next 2-5 years, look for numerous exposes a la "Behind the Survivo" as the logical next step in milking this cash cow.

  • April 1, 2001, 10:46 a.m. CST

    Some is obviously fake

    by Pikaroth

    While I disagree with the burning being fake, I still have no doubt some of the stuff is, uhm, "set up," so to speak. The first and most obvious that everyone seems to agree on, is the pig. That will probably, one day, be the first to be "revealed" as fake. The beef jerky seems like a good "fake" thing, too. We had absolutely *no* footage of Kel eating anything, be it jerky or not. The cameras seem to always be on everyone at all times, so you would think we, as the viewers, would get to see what he was really eating, but, sadly, we did not. We had fake-teeth-Jerri saying he was eating some jerky, and that was it, no footage of him either up close while she "saw" this or even him from a distance with a camera looking over Jerri's shoulder. Brandon