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Quint reviews HANNIBAL & SAVING SILVERMAN
Hey folks, Harry here with my trusty crusty seaman friend, Quint and his look at SAVING SILVERMAN and HANNIBAL... Now you all know I loathe SAVING SILVERMAN... but I haven't seen HANNIBAL yet... I might very well catch a screening of it up here in New York somewhere... As I was off on a secret mission in the land of the rising sun... where I saw a movie that I will soon be writing up. It freakin ruled! But now... onto Quint...
Ahoy, squirts. Tis I, the trusty, crusty seaman, Quint, here once more,
this time with a look at two of my biggest catches this week. The first
of
my catch is kind of a runt, is ugly as sin, but still goofy in its stupidity
and worth a few laughs and the other is big, dangerous and beautiful to
look
at.
Let's take a short look at the ugly, goofy one. This fish has a name and
that name is Saving Silverman starring (the dudes)Jason Biggs, Jack Black,
Steve Zahn and (the chicks)Amanda Peet and Amanda Detmer.
The story is thus: 3 best friends who1ve enjoyed many, many years of being
stupid with one an other and performing as a Neil Diamond cover group are
torn apart by the introduction of Amanda Peet1s bitchy slut-bag whore
character as Jason Biggs1 controlling girlfriend. A very bad first
impression is made and Peet doesn't want Biggs to be around his buds
anymore. Jack Black and Steve Zahn vow to break them up, to make Biggs see
her for the super bitch she is and have their life return to normal. Their
big plan is to kidnap Peet, make it look like she left Biggs and then set
up
Biggs with his high school sweetheart, played by the unbelievably cute
Amanda Detmer.
Of course, whacky hijinks ensue as things don't go exactly to plan. Not
a
terrible idea for a comedy, especially when you got the near genius of Jack
Black on board. So, it's an OK idea with an OK, for the most part, cast.
Unfortunately, the script is very loopy. The film basically is comprised
of
10% genuinely funny, laugh out loud scenes/lines/moments, 10% truly awful,
groan out loud scenes/lines/moments, 40% slightly better than mediocre
moments and 40% mediocre moments.
This movie does come from Dennis Dugan, who also directed Problem Child,
Big
Daddy and is responsible for TV's Shasta McNasty, so that should send up
a
red flag to most of you out there. But this movie isn't terribly terrible.
Basically, there are two reasons to go see this movie at all. One is the
amazing R. Lee Ermey as the boys' former football coach... Sweet Jesus.
Just
about every scene with him in it is in that 10% genuinely funny percentile.
He has some classic lines in this movie, involving everything from his
advice to the boys on their next step in the kidnapping to what women really
want from men.
The second reason to see this movie is Amanda Detmer. Again, she's a great
looker and she's just fucking hot in her nun-in-training outfit. Maybe
that's just me, though... Still, it makes one wonder during the film why
Biggs would put up with bitchy Amanda Peet when he has the beautiful, kind,
truthful Amanda Detmer waiting in the wings.
Do those two reasons justify seeing the film? Yes. Do they justify paying
to
see it theatrically? Possibly. Depends on your tastes. This movie is the
very definition of 2 stars, but again there are those bright shining moments
that should be seen whether on the big screen, DVD/video or cable.
My biggest problem with the movie, besides the semi frequent long scenes
where nothing is happening, is that Zahn and Jack Black aren't used to
nearly their full potential. I mean, how do you have Jack Black in your
COMEDY and have him be only sorta funny? I don't understand. How bad was
the
original material that Jack Black himself couldn't save more than, say,
a
quarter of it? He has some really good scenes, but he isn't as consistent
has he's proven to be in the past.
Don't feel too bad if you're dragged to this movie. Have some hope. It isn't
too terrible. But, if you're going to the theater this weekend, the movie
you should be seeing is Hannibal.
HANNIBAL is a movie I had been looking forward to for a very, very long
time. I'm a huge fan of Silence of the Lambs and, most of all, Anthony
Hopkins' performance as Dr. Hannibal the Cannibal Lecter. When I heard
Anthony Hopkins was reprising his role as Dr. Lecter I was beyond ecstatic.
They were going to make a movie based entirely on one of my all time
favorite screen villains!
It was a mini adventure seeing this film. After I was caught trying to sneak
into the first locally held press screening I was so bummed out that I went
in home, popped in my Sleepaway Camp DVD to make me smile again. Then, I
heard there was another screening the next day, so I brushed up on my Crusty
Seaman Mind Tricks. It was brutal, lots of blood was shed, tears wept and
bodies disposed of, but the next day I was watching Hannibal. And let me
tell you, it was worth it!
Now, the great majority of you know the plot of the film, so I won't get
into that. I will, however, talk a bit about some specifics of the film.
Nothing too spoilerish, mind you, but just my observations, likes/dislikes
from the film.
Julianne Moore as Clarice Starling. It took me a bit to accept her as
Clarice, but that's going to happen in any well loved series that has a
drastic actor change. She did a grand job, just had to get over that 3But
you're not Jodie Foster2 thing. Her accent wasn't too overboard, but a
little more noticeable, to me at least, then Ms. Foster's in SOTL. It might
be that I'm much more familiar with Julianne Moore's regular voice, having
heard it so often (damn that bitch is poppin' em out, isn't she!) recently.
The film branches off around the first reel change (20 minute mark) and
intercuts between Clarice in America and Det. Pazzi (Giancarlo Giannini)
and
Dr. Fell (aka Hopkins' Lecter) in Italy. I found the stuff between Giannini
and Hopkins to be terrific and was far more interested in that story line
than what was going on with Moore in America. It might just be my love for
Dario Argento and early Lucio Fulci, you know, good Italian thrillers. As
a
matter of fact, the beautiful Spanish Maiden said to me in the Orca after
the movie that she was reminded of Argento films like Bird With Crystal
Plumage and Cat O' Nine Tails during those early scenes in Italy. It's just
shot with such style with great actors in interesting roles.
Gary Oldman (totally unrecognizable) plays Mason Verger, an eccentric rich
man who horribly deformed himself under Lecter's influence many years before
and has been plotting his revenge ever since. The make-up on Oldman is
beyond amazing. It kills me that some Costume Drama is probably going to
win
best make-up come this time next year while the work in Hannibal will most
likely go by the wayside because of it's gruesome nature. At first, Oldman's
make-up looked a bit plastic-y and bit fake, but when you see it with full
light you realize that that1s what it would look like in real life! Have
you
seen what burn victims or car wreck victims look like after having surgery?
When skin had to be grafted onto whatever part of the body was hurt? It
looks a bit plastic-y and shiny. Oldman's make-up is very realistic and
that
make it all the creepier and hard to look at.
Ray Liotta as Paul Krendler. They didn't play Krendler as as much of a dick
as they do in the novel. He's still not a good guy, but I was surprised
they
didn't take him as far in the film as he was in the novel. Liotta turns
in a
good performance. It's believable, but not the center of the movie.
Of course, that leads to the center of the movie, Anthony Hopkins.
Brilliant, brilliant man. Such a great performer. Such a great bad guy!
He
makes licking an envelope creepy! God Bless him! What makes his work in
Hannibal great is he manages to work in the nuances of his previous turn
as
the good doctor without making it just a retread of the previous film. His
character has changed a bit during the last 10 years. He's had his freedom,
his sunlight, his library, his view. Just like anybody in real life, he
changed a bit when his lifestyle changed. The last scene in the movie, which
has Hopkins in it, is a perfect ending note to the film. I'd also like to
add that you might wanna sit through the credits. There1s a little something
at the end, not much mind you, but just a tiny little something at the end
of the credits that put a smile on my face. You'll know it when it comes
up.
Now, I still prefer Silence of the Lambs to Hannibal (and to Manhuter as
well), but that1s not saying Hannibal is necessarily a lesser film. It is
just a different type of film than Silence was. It's a worthy sequel and
I
foam at the mouth at Hopkins' mention of discussing another Lecter film
with
Dino de Laurentiis.
So, squirts. There you have it. You got a glimpse at the ol' seaman's catch
this week. Keep yer eye on the horizon for I got a lot more to share with
ye. Also, anybody that wants to come to my grand birthday celebration on
Sunday, Feb. 18th at the Alamo Drafthouse here in Austin, TX is welcome.
And, no, a present is NOT REQUIRED. All you need to do is bring your body
and watch some great, FREE, classic cinema. Come see 2 geek celebrated
films. I can't say what they are, but they are both 35mm prints in great
condition and both are well loved and worth seeing on the big screen. For
those that can't stand the mystery and like a little bit of detective work,
I will give you one hint: They both have a common link both in front of
and
behind the camera. Email me using the link below if you want to come.
Til next time, squirts, this is Quint saying farewell and adieu.
-Quint
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+ Expand All
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Hannibal or Saving Silverman... Hannibal or Saving Silverman... Nah, I'll just catch a double feature of Left Behind and Head Over Heels.
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I really dug the first three quarters of the book, but the much maligned ending - yikes. It totally departs from the whole vibe of the rest of the story. I hope the film improves on that.
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Quint, great reviews. I cannot wait for tomorrow. Also, a pic of Oldman as Verger is posted online.. (won't tell where hehe, dont ruin it for yourselves) and an he looks like an eyeball in a mass of snot.
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...Licking the steering wheel and saying, "MO-MO" in the movie? That was very creepy!
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Had to bring that up. I loved SOTL-it still creeps me out. But I have no desire to see 'Hannibal' or (aargg) 'Saving Something or Other'. Instead, I'll be staying far away from my popcorn while watching 'Braindead'.
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I bet he saw Battle Royale.
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I still can't get over that picture in the upper-left corner. How is Harry getting his head cut off with the BACK of the knife?!?!
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Quint and El Cosmico are both fine reviewers and I enjoyed reading their dissimilar opinions on Hannibal, which I look forward to seeing ASAP. Having seen a sneak preview of SSilverman, however, I am moved to disagree with Harry, Quint and El Cosmico on who's the best and the brightest out of the cast of that lovable, disappointing mess of a movie. R.Lee Ermey was funny and watchable in SSIlverman but he was giving his same old performance, not much different than the Frighteners or FMJacket. This doesn't mean the guy's a hack, but greater actors have been criticized (on this site and elsewhere) for repeating themselves this way. I agree that JB and Zahn make the movie the half-success it is, and I agree that JB was a little off his game for some reason. But as far as the chick factor in SSilverman, I hardly noticed Detmer in favor of the radiant Amanda Peet. Jeezus she's fabulous man. Nothing against Amanda Detmer or anything, but damn! Peet has it goin' on.
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"An eyeball in a mass of snot" ??? I love the description.
This I just HAVE to see ! -
After reading both Quint's and El Cosmico's reveiws I'm happy that opinion is divided on the film. Had both loved it then in my eyes it would simply be setting me up for disappointment when I get to see it next week here in the UK. Had both said it sucked then I would most likely thought it was a better film than it is. And this is the problem today is it not. Nearly all sequels now, are in comparison to the original film, crap. Most sequels arn't directed by Ridley Scott however so I'm still looking forward to this flick.
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Feb 09, 2001 2:43:34 AM CST
FUCK IT ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS MENTION SLEEPAWAY CAMP!!!
by geekbasher 3.0
the last image haunts me, yes it does, the image of her with the knife, and the slong, I mean Dong, I mean COCK yes, the lovely killer with the Crying Game kinda thing, WOW, no ending in movie history will compare to the still image of the wow, sexy TRANNY with the yummy I say Gummi PENIS of love..............
Hannibal, damn i have read enough of the reviews, shit I can jerk off to them without the help of NETMEETING or a CAM, I wonder what kind of Trailers we will see with Hannibal, I hope we don't see PUSSY HARBOR or THE BEANER, whoops I meant THE MEXICAN...
Hannibal is making me so not correct,,...but I do admit, it's the SPECIAL K and the GREY GOOSE
GOODY GOODY -
I saw a screener for it recently, and I must say that is is the most appropriate sequel I have seen in recent times. I loathe Ridley Scott, although I enjoyed Alien, I feel that the bulk of his work is steaming shit. In Hannibal he actually got his act together to make something cohesive and engaging to watch, without recycling the atmosphere set so well in SOTL. Jodie Foster pales in comparison to Julianne Moore, although her character is not nearly as focused on as in SOTL. I don't need to go over what I thought of Hopkin's performance. Do yourself a favor and see it. I always thought it was Sleepaway Camp 2 that the schlong ending scene was in. A shit movie anyhow.
-
Dennis Dugan was also responsible for Happy Gilmore (or maybe he just played the golf club president). Well, if he was responsible for Happy Gilmore, maybe that's a good thing?
Also, watch Hannibal as its own movie - don't compare it to SOTL as a sequel - it's the only way that you'll enjoy it. -
Thanks for the killer review of Hannibal Quint, and happy birthday ya sea dog. I have been waiting long enough for this film. Christmas is coming early this year for me as another event film I have so closely watched over and counted the days till its release hits theaters (the very first film I did this for was X-Men, I was voraciously (sp) looking up scoops on the internet for it before it came out, of course i had been waiting for about a decade for that film to be released).
Anyway,getting on to other things, people please do yourselves a favor, wait till the film to see Mason Verger's mangled mess of a face. Supposedly he is in the very first scene after all (before the credits even!) I am in no way forcing this on people or criticizing the person who posted that it was online, i'm just saying that Mason's face is a mystery best left unsolved until you see the film (much like that of a traveling freakshow, why see the faces before hand when you want to go to it in the first place?).
Gabba UK has a very valid point when it comes to critics, especially considering the fact that the latest trailers for Hannibal fetaure a barrage of praising phrases from critics across the nation.
All I have to say is Quiz Kid Donnie is preach on brother! Did you see Amanda Peet get nekkid in Whole Nine Yards? As gratuitous as the act is I have to agree that she is hotter than Amanda Detmer and that her 9 Yards scene makes me harder than chinese arithmetic every time i see it. I wonder if she drops trou again in Whipped. I guess I'll have to rent it and see.
Tulkas, please remember that this is a very different story than SOTL, I agree that the ending does sound illogical but she is drugged for chrissakes, it described hannibal stealing all of those hypnotic depressant drugs from the hospital, how else do you think she is able to eat Krendler's brains while keeping a straight face let alone how Krendler can even survive this ordeal.
Uga, damn dude, all i gotta say is that Left Behind I'll give ya credence for but if there is anything i can do to keep you from seeing the shitstain that is Head Over Heels, name it! There are so many stories floating around Hollywood that can be done in the best way possible except for pieces of junk like Head Over Heels. Hell, the premise for that film reeks of 30 minute sitcom storyline. Please, give Hannibal a try it is (tee-hee) more tasteful than HOH could ever be.
Anyway, for now i must go for you see i am giving very serious thought..........to eating Amanda Peet.
P.S. I just might give that head shot of Mason Verger a look after all, thanks for the heads up Johnny GT
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Feb 09, 2001 3:13:47 PM CST
This movie is WAY better than most critics are giving it credit
by doctorcreep
Am I the only person bothered by the fact that everyone in Italy spoke English? I think it would be wise to be suspicious of any critic who complains that the movie isn't scary/doesn't have enough Starling in it/dialogue is no good/blah blah blah, but doesn't even notice that an entire nation is speaking the wrong language.
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Yeah, maybe I'll skip "Head Over Heels." I'm just pissed that the "Recess" movie isn't until next week. I'm just going to go rent "Air Bud: World Pup" or maybe something with Ryan Phillippe. I mean, who wants to see "Hannibal?" It won't make $1 million this weekend.
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Alright, that does it. Uga my friend, if Hannibal does not make in excess of $1 million dollars it first weekend, you will have a big, fat steaming plate of crow to eat (or in this case, a big, fat plate of Paul Krendler's brain to eat).
You do have a right in saying that the Recess movie will be better than Head Over Heels. as far as Air Bud goes please remeber that this is a brand new Air Bud because the original one died from cancer, just thought that i would brighten up your day with that cheery note. As far as Ryan Phillippe goes rent Way of the Gun, there's a funny sequence in it where he jumps in a dried up fountain in Mexico and finds broken glass in it AFTER he dives in (i know i lauged my ass off when i saw that) or Cruel Intentions where his bleached blond ass gets run over by a car (tee-hee, reminds me of that scene in Meet Joe Black when Brad Pitt meets the same fate only four times as bad as the accident in Cruel Intentions).
Let me just leave you with an answer to your question, I WANT TO SEE HANNIBAL HOT DAMMITT!!!!!!! -
I do believe we're in the final days. Got talked into seeing a movie I had no desire to see (produced to cash in on the undeserved financial success of one of the most overrated films of the Twentieth Century) and found myself squirming through more tv-cop-show crap. That this "steaming pile of pig shit" should come to us through the good offices of none other than the late Ridley Scott is further proof that we are nigh unto the end.
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Just got back from seeing the "Head Over Heels" show. I saw the 4:00 show, loved it so much I stayed for the 6:30 as well. Man, that Freddie Prinze Jr. sure is something. He'll be nominated as Best Actor for "Boys and Girls," don't you think? Damn, now that was a freaking hilarious movie. And man, the theaters for "Hannibal" sure were empty. No wonder there's no hype. Hey, and there's only five more weeks until Steven Seagal's much-anticipated return in "Exit Wounds!" God, what a great time to be alive!!!
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Feb 09, 2001 8:31:05 PM CST
Just saw Hannible. One thing I can say for it is that it has ba
by milktoast
Another thing I can say for it is that it didn't suck. And I don't know where Uga goes to see movies, but where I went had three separate screens showing Hannible that were all pretty crowded. The kinda crowded where seats choose you instead you choosing where you really want to sit...the kinda crowded where you have to sit behind some dude with a smelly duck's ass hair style and next to some girl with pasty arms who acts like the crowd is just a pretense for you sitting next to her. I mean Christ...she is my date, right? I paid for her to get in. That means I get to sit next to her if I feel like it, right? Well, from now on I'm gay.
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Did anyone else notice that Gary Oldman's Verger character was identical in facial expressions and speech patterns to Jim Carrey's Fire Marshall Bill character from In Living Color
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Feb 10, 2001 6:54:26 AM CST
The Best Way To See These Movies Is To Catch 'Em On A Double Fea
by buzz maverik
That way, they seem like one movie. Used to do that when they still had drive-ins. You can't really duplicate that with a VCR because at a drive-in you have to focus, unless you're getting laid. So, let's see. SAVIN' PRIVATE HANNIBAL, huh? Anthony Hopkins is going to marry Jack Black, but his pals Gary Oldham, Julianne Moore and Amanda Peet want him to marry a pig instead. Now, wouldn't you guys rather see that?
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I too think I'll get an Oscar nod on Tuesday for BOYS and GIRLS AND Head Over HEELS! Soderbergh who? No It'll be me BIG FRED who gets nominated twice! And Uga, you my fan will get a great big THANK YOU in my oscar speech! Okay back to the set of DOWN TO YOU 2: STILL DOWN WIT' FRED.
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Yeah Fred, I'll definitely be pulling for you. But how can the Academy decide between your brilliant Y2K performances in both "Boys and Girls" and "Down to You!" I mean, that must be impossible! And with "Head Over Heels" and "Summer Catch" this year, the voters will have the same problem all over again next year. Watch out, though, for your main Oscar competition: David Arquette's multi-layered, menacing performance in "Ready to Rumble." That guy is kewl.
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Yah I know my main Oscar Competition is that of David Arquette...I'm in constant admiration of how he acts from to scene to brilliant scene smiling with his eyes bulging out of his head...not as cool as me smirking with my eyebrows going up...but it's still nice. Plus not only will i get a nod next year 2003 i should probably get nominated for SCOOBY DOO, and by then DOWN TO YOU 2: STILL DOWN WIT FRED should be out and I'll start work on my UNTITLED WIRE FU project with Harry and Tinky Winky of teletubby fame, it'll be cool, Harry, Tinky and Me all doing wire fu. It ought to be nice. And Uga, my friend you just earned yourself a cameo!
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You know, I'm always whining and bitching about how I never do anything cool, like BNAT2, and the likes. But Quint's grand birthday celebration???? This is my chance! Hope to see you there, Quint.
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58K first week - record for R rated movie, and 3rd highest all time... damn, not bad eh?
anyways - I liked the movie - I liked the way it was shot - I liked the way it pushed the boundaries of good taste... yet was still an intelligent movie not just a slasher flick or whatever... I'm not a big horror movie fan - But there's something about the Hannibal Lecter character and the way Hopkins plays him that's just ... perfect.
the make-up was amazing... I also loved the way... everyone, everyone, looked... i dunno.. ugly - even ray liotta and julianne moore - it's like they were trying to make everything look dark... was I the only one that got that? some of those large screen shots of Ray Liotta's head scared me. It looked misshapen or something.
It wasn't as good as SOTL - because the plot dragged in places and the tension wasn't as strong - but c'mon SOTL is probably the best movie of this kind EVER - that's a lot to live up to... Hannibal is a great film in it's own right - and a VERY COOL *EXPERIENCE* - definitly something to see in the theater.
I really liked the direction too - actually I think I liked the direction better than SOTL... the story didn't have the same kind of tension or buildup... but... still - I'm very happy with it.
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Well, Fred, it's been quite an honor talking to you this way. If I can only get Ryan Phillippe to start returning my e-mails, I'd be totally stoked. Thanks for the offer of the cameo in your next (obviously award-winning) film. God, though, I hope it's based on a script by Akiva Goldsman. I've wanted to work with that genius for quite a while.
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