From time to time there comes a film of unparalleled simple genius that warms my heart and makes me believe that in the land of dreams... anything is possible.
Last year, SNAKES ON A PLANE was bought and the public roared and cheered the genius of a film where SNAKES are ON A PLANE! And that simple set of 4 words captured the imagination and now slitherflyophobia is a problem being confronted in international flights everywhere.... Why, on my flights to and from New Zealand.. no less than 23 unhappy sick souls lept from the plane to escape this creation of their deepest darkest ID creation.... SNAKES ON A PLANE!
I was terrified that we would never see a better concept.... that we would never ever see something better come along. UNTIL NOW...
VARIETY tells us today that:
The $7 million British film revolves around an 11-year-old boy whose amazing ability leads him first to fame and then to death row, before it helps him to fulfill his ambition of becoming an astronaut.
And ya know, I bet you are wondering what that AMAZING ability is. What could THUNDERPANTS possibly mean? Well, rather than exhaust your cognitive abilities and ruin this day of work and joy you are living... I'll tell you.
THUNDERPANTS is the story about a boy who can FART better and more spectacularly than any boy or girl or man or woman or living thing has ever farted before.... His bum contains the explosive farting power of the very earth itself... Like MT ST HELENS, when this Boy blows.... nothing can withstand his flapping butt cheeks of power!
Now I know... You are worried that material like this could fall into the wrong hands.... It's not just every Spielberg/Scorsese/Tarantino that can mold this material into the great human tail that it is.... That's why none other than the director of TOM & HUCK and THE BORROWERS, Peter Hewitt, is helming this work of brilliance.
Undoubtedly, the boy becomes a hero at first.... people impressed with his ability, but because of his youth.... his inexperience at controlling the great powers of his awesome arse... lives are lost and it's the chair for the lad.... There won't be a dry eye in the house. BRILLIANCE!!! BRAVO!!!! The future of cinema is safe!!!!! ahem...