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BEHOLD! The Coming of THUNDERPANTS!!!! A Shocking Tale of a Tail!

From time to time there comes a film of unparalleled simple genius that warms my heart and makes me believe that in the land of dreams... anything is possible.

Last year, SNAKES ON A PLANE was bought and the public roared and cheered the genius of a film where SNAKES are ON A PLANE! And that simple set of 4 words captured the imagination and now slitherflyophobia is a problem being confronted in international flights everywhere.... Why, on my flights to and from New Zealand.. no less than 23 unhappy sick souls lept from the plane to escape this creation of their deepest darkest ID creation.... SNAKES ON A PLANE!

I was terrified that we would never see a better concept.... that we would never ever see something better come along. UNTIL NOW...

THUNDERPANTS

VARIETY tells us today that:

The $7 million British film revolves around an 11-year-old boy whose amazing ability leads him first to fame and then to death row, before it helps him to fulfill his ambition of becoming an astronaut.

And ya know, I bet you are wondering what that AMAZING ability is. What could THUNDERPANTS possibly mean? Well, rather than exhaust your cognitive abilities and ruin this day of work and joy you are living... I'll tell you.

THUNDERPANTS is the story about a boy who can FART better and more spectacularly than any boy or girl or man or woman or living thing has ever farted before.... His bum contains the explosive farting power of the very earth itself... Like MT ST HELENS, when this Boy blows.... nothing can withstand his flapping butt cheeks of power!

Now I know... You are worried that material like this could fall into the wrong hands.... It's not just every Spielberg/Scorsese/Tarantino that can mold this material into the great human tail that it is.... That's why none other than the director of TOM & HUCK and THE BORROWERS, Peter Hewitt, is helming this work of brilliance.

Undoubtedly, the boy becomes a hero at first.... people impressed with his ability, but because of his youth.... his inexperience at controlling the great powers of his awesome arse... lives are lost and it's the chair for the lad.... There won't be a dry eye in the house. BRILLIANCE!!! BRAVO!!!! The future of cinema is safe!!!!! ahem...

Readers Talkback
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  • Jan. 11, 2001, 1:43 a.m. CST

    It's a bird, it's a plane, it's FARTMAN.

    by vroom socko

    Someone call Howard Stern's lawyers.

  • Jan. 11, 2001, 2:03 a.m. CST

    What!?

    by Digital

    This thing is going to cost $7 million? Sounds like it went over budget by $6.9 million at least.

  • Jan. 11, 2001, 2:27 a.m. CST

    jhonny fartpants

    by bluelou_boyle

    rip off of johnny fartpants, from toon comic VIZ

  • Jan. 11, 2001, 2:58 a.m. CST

    It's those pesky mutanta again!

    by Zombie Vig

    Setinels gonna wax your farting ass, boy. You better say your friggin prayers BOY!!!...Muties!...MUTIES!

  • Jan. 11, 2001, 4:08 a.m. CST

    hmm

    by da_guvna

    they could get that 'methane man' guy to play his father!

  • Jan. 11, 2001, 6:28 a.m. CST

    Fartman

    by RenoNevada2000

    Hey Vroom- There is a bit of similarity between this movie and Stern's Fartman character, I don't think Stern has the copyright on flatulence. (And I've been a big Stern fan for 12 years now.) The plot to this one doesn't really sound anything like the script for "Fartman" which I got ahold of years ago and still is damn funnier than half the so-called comedies out there today. I just want to know if British farting sensation Mr. Methane will make a cameo in this?

  • Jan. 11, 2001, 9:41 a.m. CST

    With great power comes great responsibility...

    by Ambrose Chappell

    Sounds lovely.

  • Jan. 11, 2001, 9:43 a.m. CST

    PWEEEEEEEERT!

    by Babba-Booey

  • Jan. 11, 2001, 11:41 a.m. CST

    Tuna Juice

    by helvis

    When I open a can of tuna fish, I like to drain the water into a bowl and give it to my kitties. They love it!

  • Jan. 11, 2001, 12:01 p.m. CST

    This must be a Buzz Maverik spoof item!

    by Regis Travolta

    Buzz "Aldrin" Maverik, hollywood astronaut and farter of inspired comedy ideas near and far...

  • Jan. 11, 2001, 12:23 p.m. CST

    Hey! It's a remake of Gamera!

    by The Gline

    After all, Gamera is the only monster that jet-propelled himself with flatulence... UNTIL NOW! I'm sorry, this is stupid.

  • Jan. 11, 2001, 12:33 p.m. CST

    An open letter to Bob Odenkirk

    by WillardEisenbaum

    Alright already with these funny posts! Stick to your own movie smart guy. btw National Lampoon had Fartman like ten years before Stern. And I'm a fan of both Stern and the Lampoon, as well as a fan of farting.

  • Jan. 11, 2001, 2:01 p.m. CST

    Wow, fart humor is still funny.

    by Insane Tiki

    I can't believe a movie this stupid is being made, and I also can't believe people are getting excited about it. Immature potty humor is great and all, but getting worked up about it is something else. Sure, South Park the movie was funny, but the potty humor wasn't the genius part, you know? It was the message underneath, about censorship and free speach. What's the message for this one? Farting a lot is funny. Wow, so profound. Oh, and alesbianchatroom (such a clever little moniker)? I don't know what you're trying to accomplish with that little "pics of Spidey costume" post, maybe you work for Cinescape or something, but stop whoring your little "headline" (there are no pics, just reports of a press conference and quotes from Sam Raimi) and get a life. Or at least get a relevent talkback forum.

  • Jan. 11, 2001, 2:13 p.m. CST

    snakes on a plane

    by Salem Hanna

    What exactly happened to this one? Anyone know?

  • Jan. 11, 2001, 2:49 p.m. CST

    The National Lampoon Cartoon

    by tbrosz

    Is here!: http://www.koam.lanminds.net/NL-fartman.html

  • Jan. 11, 2001, 11:47 p.m. CST

    Or as Homer Simpson would say...

    by Dlhstar

    "It must have been that bean I ate for supper."

  • Jan. 12, 2001, 6:08 p.m. CST

    Thunderpants

    by Schnorbitz

    A sequel to Thundercats? Will the pants be worn by Lion-O? (You know, I once found out the actor who did the voice of Lion-O has an e-mail address on the Internet somewhere. Oh dear. Altogether "thunder, Thunder, THUNDERCATS. HO!" To quote Some Like It Hot, I need another cup of coffee.

  • Jan. 13, 2001, 2:16 p.m. CST

    Wha Da Fuck?

    by JustinTimberlake

    Is this? I think you guys read Buzz's column too much, i think i read somethin' like this a few weeks back in his talkback...y'all know it's a joke right? If that's the case i bet harry & Co. will right up something on that Tom Cruise vanity cd next....word is born.

  • Jan. 13, 2001, 3:17 p.m. CST

    Mr. Methane

    by shaithis77

    This sounds like the true life adventures of Mr. Methane, a sometimes guest on the Howard Stern show. Check out www.mrmethane.com. Funny shit. Pun intended.

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