BEHOLD! The Coming of THUNDERPANTS!!!! A Shocking Tale of a Tail!
From time to time there comes a film of unparalleled simple genius that warms my heart and makes me believe that in the land of dreams... anything is possible.
Last year, SNAKES ON A PLANE was bought and the public roared and cheered the genius of a film where SNAKES are ON A PLANE! And that simple set of 4 words captured the imagination and now slitherflyophobia is a problem being confronted in international flights everywhere.... Why, on my flights to and from New Zealand.. no less than 23 unhappy sick souls lept from the plane to escape this creation of their deepest darkest ID creation.... SNAKES ON A PLANE!
I was terrified that we would never see a better concept.... that we would never ever see something better come along. UNTIL NOW...
VARIETY tells us today that:
The $7 million British film revolves around an 11-year-old boy whose amazing ability leads him first to fame and then to death row, before it helps him to fulfill his ambition of becoming an astronaut.
And ya know, I bet you are wondering what that AMAZING ability is. What could THUNDERPANTS possibly mean? Well, rather than exhaust your cognitive abilities and ruin this day of work and joy you are living... I'll tell you.
THUNDERPANTS is the story about a boy who can FART better and more spectacularly than any boy or girl or man or woman or living thing has ever farted before.... His bum contains the explosive farting power of the very earth itself... Like MT ST HELENS, when this Boy blows.... nothing can withstand his flapping butt cheeks of power!
Now I know... You are worried that material like this could fall into the wrong hands.... It's not just every Spielberg/Scorsese/Tarantino that can mold this material into the great human tail that it is.... That's why none other than the director of TOM & HUCK and THE BORROWERS, Peter Hewitt, is helming this work of brilliance.
Undoubtedly, the boy becomes a hero at first.... people impressed with his ability, but because of his youth.... his inexperience at controlling the great powers of his awesome arse... lives are lost and it's the chair for the lad.... There won't be a dry eye in the house. BRILLIANCE!!! BRAVO!!!! The future of cinema is safe!!!!! ahem...
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Jan. 11, 2001, 1:43 a.m. CST
by vroom socko
Someone call Howard Stern's lawyers.
Jan. 11, 2001, 2:03 a.m. CST
This thing is going to cost $7 million? Sounds like it went over budget by $6.9 million at least.
Jan. 11, 2001, 2:27 a.m. CST
rip off of johnny fartpants, from toon comic VIZ
Jan. 11, 2001, 2:58 a.m. CST
by Zombie Vig
Setinels gonna wax your farting ass, boy. You better say your friggin prayers BOY!!!...Muties!...MUTIES!
Jan. 11, 2001, 4:08 a.m. CST
they could get that 'methane man' guy to play his father!
Jan. 11, 2001, 6:28 a.m. CST
Hey Vroom- There is a bit of similarity between this movie and Stern's Fartman character, I don't think Stern has the copyright on flatulence. (And I've been a big Stern fan for 12 years now.) The plot to this one doesn't really sound anything like the script for "Fartman" which I got ahold of years ago and still is damn funnier than half the so-called comedies out there today. I just want to know if British farting sensation Mr. Methane will make a cameo in this?
Jan. 11, 2001, 9:41 a.m. CST
by Ambrose Chappell
Jan. 11, 2001, 9:43 a.m. CST
Jan. 11, 2001, 11:41 a.m. CST
When I open a can of tuna fish, I like to drain the water into a bowl and give it to my kitties. They love it!
Jan. 11, 2001, 12:01 p.m. CST
by Regis Travolta
Buzz "Aldrin" Maverik, hollywood astronaut and farter of inspired comedy ideas near and far...
Jan. 11, 2001, 12:23 p.m. CST
by The Gline
After all, Gamera is the only monster that jet-propelled himself with flatulence... UNTIL NOW! I'm sorry, this is stupid.
Jan. 11, 2001, 12:33 p.m. CST
Alright already with these funny posts! Stick to your own movie smart guy. btw National Lampoon had Fartman like ten years before Stern. And I'm a fan of both Stern and the Lampoon, as well as a fan of farting.
Jan. 11, 2001, 2:01 p.m. CST
by Insane Tiki
I can't believe a movie this stupid is being made, and I also can't believe people are getting excited about it. Immature potty humor is great and all, but getting worked up about it is something else. Sure, South Park the movie was funny, but the potty humor wasn't the genius part, you know? It was the message underneath, about censorship and free speach. What's the message for this one? Farting a lot is funny. Wow, so profound. Oh, and alesbianchatroom (such a clever little moniker)? I don't know what you're trying to accomplish with that little "pics of Spidey costume" post, maybe you work for Cinescape or something, but stop whoring your little "headline" (there are no pics, just reports of a press conference and quotes from Sam Raimi) and get a life. Or at least get a relevent talkback forum.
Jan. 11, 2001, 2:13 p.m. CST
by Salem Hanna
What exactly happened to this one? Anyone know?
Jan. 11, 2001, 2:49 p.m. CST
Is here!: http://www.koam.lanminds.net/NL-fartman.html
Jan. 11, 2001, 11:47 p.m. CST
"It must have been that bean I ate for supper."
Jan. 12, 2001, 6:08 p.m. CST
A sequel to Thundercats? Will the pants be worn by Lion-O? (You know, I once found out the actor who did the voice of Lion-O has an e-mail address on the Internet somewhere. Oh dear. Altogether "thunder, Thunder, THUNDERCATS. HO!" To quote Some Like It Hot, I need another cup of coffee.
Jan. 13, 2001, 2:16 p.m. CST
Is this? I think you guys read Buzz's column too much, i think i read somethin' like this a few weeks back in his talkback...y'all know it's a joke right? If that's the case i bet harry & Co. will right up something on that Tom Cruise vanity cd next....word is born.
Jan. 13, 2001, 3:17 p.m. CST
This sounds like the true life adventures of Mr. Methane, a sometimes guest on the Howard Stern show. Check out www.mrmethane.com. Funny shit. Pun intended.
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