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I am – Hercules!!


Previously. On parts three and four of “Twin Peaks 2017.”

Cooper landed on a balcony overlooking Caladan, got a clue from the late Garland Briggs’ giant floating face, got sucked into giant wall socket “3” and began behaving like a slow-witted Starman.

Bob flipped his car, then vomited something foul enough to put a patrolman in the hospital. (“Garmonbozia” it was called before this year.)

A third, chubbier Kyle MacLachlan, realtor Dougie Jones, emitted his own special puke, then was transported to the Black Lodge with a thunderclap. “Someone manufactured you for a purpose,” one-armed Mike told Dougie, who then turned into a Starman Orb.

A junkie in a skimpy tank (fabulous “Riki and the Flash” vet Hailey Gates) cried out “one one nine” as a boy snacked on saltines.

“It is about the bunny?” pondered Hawk. “No, it’s not about the bunny.”

Dr. Jakoby sprayed his spades in shades.

Cooper won big at the Silver Mustang Casino.

As special agent Tammy Preston briefed Albert Rosenfield and Gordon Cole on the grotesque New York mutilations of horny couple Sam Colby and Tracy Barbarado, the FBI trio learned “Cooper” had been located in South Dakota.

The 3.3 credits reveal the late Don S. Davis, who died of myocardial infarction nine years ago this month, reprised the role of Major Garland Briggs and Josh McDermitt (“The Walking Dead”) played Wise Guy. They also indicate 69-year-old Meg Foster (“They Live”) played the casino cashier who changed Cooper’s five-dollar bill.

Bill Shaker (Ethan Suplee) ran into “Dougie” and told him his house on Lancelot Court had a red door. Supervisor Burns (Brett Gelman) confirmed his casino was watching “Dougie.” “There’s enough here to play them back,” Dougie’s wife (Naomi Watts) told “Dougie.”

Bill Kennedy (Richard Chamberlain) brought Cole in to meet FBI chief of staff Denise Bryson (David Duchovny). “I had enough dirt on you to fill the Grand Canyon,” reminded Cole.

Sheriff Frank Truman (Robert Forster) confused Lucy Brennan using his cellular telephone. “How is this possible?” she wondered aloud.

Laura Palmer’s ex and former delinquent Bobby Briggs is now a deputy sheriff. The sheriff’s department seems to boast a lot more personnel and equipment these days.

Wally Brando (Michael Cera), son of Andy and Lucy Brennan, paid respect to the Trumans. “My Dharma is the road,” Wally confessed.

(Cera’s performance may have been meant to combine actors and motorcycle enthusiasts Wally Cox and Marlon Brando, who met as 9-year-olds and remained friends until a deadly heart attack claimed Cox in 1973.)

“You were tricked,” Mike told a full-bladdered Cooper. “Now one of you must die.”

Cooper sipped his first cup of coffee in a quarter century.

Constance Talbot (Jane Adams), not seen since this year’s first hour of “Peaks,” found her research stymied by the military.

Exposure to “Cooper’s” vomit (which was in the lab) sent a patrolman to the hospital, the G-men were informed.

“Gordon, I’ve been working undercover all these years,” explained “Cooper” in a low, robotic voice, “working primarily with our colleague Phillip Jeffries.” (Special agent Jeffries was played by David Bowie in “Fire Walk With Me.”)

“I told Phillip who our man was in Colombia,” Albert explained to Cole. “A week later that man was killed.”

“I don’t think he greeted me properly, if you take my meaning,” said Cole of “Cooper.”

Albert and Cole agree the mystery of Cooper is a blue rose case. (In “Fire Walk With Me,” a blue rose case seemed to indicate involvement of the supernatural.) The FBI men also agree a “certain person” needs to take a look at “Cooper.” I wonder what Audrey Horne is up to these days.

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