Ahoy, squirts! Quint here. A good movie poster is supposed to evoke the tone and feeling of the film it is advertising. Sure, it's also supposed to sell the big stars involved so general audiences will go "Hey, I know that guy or gal. I want to see him or her in this movie!" But it's supposed to draw your eye and your interest.
That's why a lot of us old farts long for the days of art posters instead of the photoshop hackjobs we so often see in theaters, but a photo poster can get the job done just as well. Look at the Logan poster, for example. It's just Wolverine's damaged hand, claws extended, being held by a smaller hand. Simple, striking and perfectly represents the movie.
I say all this to illustrate that either these new Dark Tower posters are horribly dull or they represent a movie that's horribly dull. I hope it's the former.
Let's take a look. First up is Idris Elba's Roland or Some Dude Wearing A Weird Coat Holding Guns In A Gray City:
Next up is Matthew McConaughey's Man In Black or Remember When You Liked The Matrix Maybe This Is Like The Matrix?
I know I'm being tough on this movie, but I do it out of frustration. It's not just that I'm a big fan of the books. Rather I hate seeing a squandered opportunity. At best the footage and advertising for this are middle of the road and when the source material could have been a weirder, more fun, darker epic tale along the lines of The Lord of the Rings I get vexxed.
Not every poster has to be a knockout, but that doesn't mean I have to like it when they're this generic and boring.