Copernicus on Malick's VOYAGE OF TIME in IMAX

I made it very clear in my last review of a Terence Malick film that I was done with his shenanigans. Having big name stars sigh and mumble through landscapes with for two hours with no narrative is just lazy pretentious bullshit. He's put me through that godawful nonsense three times in a row now (TREE OF LIFE, TO THE WONDER, and KNIGHT OF CUPS), and I'm done with it. Same thing as with Terry Gilliam. He's dead to me. Used to love him but he's burned me three too many times now.

Malick's latest comes in two versions -- a 1.5 hour theatrical cut (VOYAGE OF TIME: LIFE'S JOURNEY), narrated by Cate Blanchett, and a 45 minute IMAX version (VOYAGE OF TIME) narrated by Brad Pitt. I had heard terrible things about the theatrical cut -- Malick up to his same old shit they said. So I almost bailed on VOYAGE OF TIME. But here was an IMAX movie 10 years in the making, I had a ticket to the premiere, and a friend of mine did some of the galaxy simulations. When I was I going to get a chance like that again? I told a friend sitting next to me, "I'll give it 10 minutes. If there are humans in this movie and they start whispering, I'm out."

The first thing on the screen is text that says, "Dear Child."

"Oh for Christ sakes!" I said to my buddy.

Then there was some bullshit about the journey of a rock and a leaf and the child and all this.

Motherfucking Malick! I knew it! He goes from zero to "Turn on your heart light!" in zero seconds, like some kind demented drug addled hippie Neil Diamond.

An image of an actual child came on this 40 foot tall IMAX screen, and Brad Pitt starts whispering.

"Jesus fucking Christ!"

I was just about to walk out the door. But then, it switched to some space scenes about the mergers of galaxies, the creation of stars and the sun, and the volcanic newly formed Earth, all giant-sized, with an overpowering operatic score. Some were done by friends of mine, some were based on Hubble Space Telescope and other imagery, but blown up and put into motion on a scale that reaches right into your soul. This was a gargantuan dose of awe triple slapped to my face. The effect cast such a spell on me that my blood pressure instantly dropped 40 points.

Subsequent shots showed soaring vistas of the cooling Earth, rains and floods, the creation of bacteria, and ultimately multicellular life. There were giant kelp forests. Again the scale and scope were profound. Brad Pitt narrated on, mostly factually, almost soothingly. Mesmerizing jellyfish appeared. Contemporary shots of a nautilus and cuttlefish stood in for primitive sea creatures. It was like you were diving right next to them. Eventually we got to land plants. And a CG "proto-mammal" appeared. There were dinosaurs, an asteroid tumbling to Earth (clearly based on data from the Rosetta mission), and dinosaur's extinction. Ultimately modern sea creatures were shown -- sea lions, giant schools of fish. And modern land mammals -- giraffes and primates. Think PLANET EARTH, but the highlights, and in IMAX. By the end, astounding aerial shots of Dubai brought things to a Koyaanisqatsi type climax.

Over all this glorious footage are the dulcet tones of Brad Pitt explaining things semi-scientifically, semi-poetically. It is a bit like Terrence Malick thinks he’s writing a new version of the Bible. Occasionally this works, but just as often it falls flat on its face with such clunkers as (I’m paraphrasing), “Love [shot of two whales mating or just chilling, who the fuck knows what whales are thinking], is it not too a creation of nature?” or “child of the good [shot of human child]” or “death, when did it arise? [hint: either with the first cell, or there is a seriously cool 4 billion year old immortal cell out there]” In all, the film would have been far better without the narration. The things he’s showing are wondrous. Adding some sophomoric 10th grade poetry on top of it is not helping. He’s gilding the lily here.

I just wish he didn’t have to turn it up to 11. A nine would have been outstanding. Mostly the problem is a half dozen cringe-worthy phrases though. Brad Pitt is fine delivering it, but it gave me flashbacks to TREE OF LIFE. Anyone picked at random from the Oxford or Cambridge phone book would have been better (can you tell I’m a fan of the Attenborough version of PLANET EARTH). In fact this while movie seems like a cut sequence from TREE OF LIFE. It is like Malick took the notorious dinosaur scene from TREE OF LIFE and just went "full dinosaur" here.

I’m lucky enough to travel the world for my various jobs — I get to use telescopes in South America to observe the farthest reaches of the universe, stand on islands being added to by erupting volcanoes, dive with the perplexing creatures at the Great Barrier Reef, play with primates along the side of the road in Africa, and wonder at the massive modern cities of the Middle East, where civilization got its start. All these experiences are transcendent — a glimpse into something larger — the story of life on Earth -- some giant cosmic mystery. But each one is fleeting. Soon after these moments I go on with my daily life. Each is a small piece of the puzzle. Here Malick has assembled the puzzle. He’s brought it together from the corners of Earth, the edges of space, and he’s told a compelling story with it. THE story. He’s answered the oldest questions we have with the best that science and cinema has to offer. The effect is mesmerizing, and at when it reaches its heights, spiritual.

That’s why, ultimately VOYAGE OF TIME succeeds. Despite some ham-fisted narration, the visuals and the story are as good as it gets. Surprise! After decades, Malick has an extraordinary film again.

Copernicus (aka Andy Howell). Email me or follow me on Twitter.