Voyager 5.12 FAQ
What’s it called?
“Bride Of Chaotica!”
Who’s responsible?
Teleplay is credited to Bryan Fuller (“Dead Like Me,” “Wonderfalls,” “Pushing Daisies,” “Hannibal”) and Michael Taylor (“Deep Space Nine,” “Battlestar Galactica”), adapting a story by Fuller.
What says Fake UPN?
“Photonic aliens come to believe Voyager’s Captain Proton characters are not works of fiction and start a war with Dr. Chaotica’s Army of Evil.”
How does it start?
With Tom and Harry entering a Captain Proton holodeck program. The evil Dr. Chaotica kidnaps Constance Goodheart and plans to sacrifice her to Arachnia, Queen of the Spider People.
This sounds ridiculous. Is this episode supposed to be funny?
Supposed to be, and is.
The big news?
Voyager finds itself trapped on an interdimensional “subspace sandbar” that takes almost all of the ship’s replicators and toilets offline, precipitating much anxiety among the crew.
What else is UPN not telling us?
The 1930s vintage of Captain Proton puts me in the mind of the Kirk-Spock gangster episode “A Piece of the Action.”
What’s great?
Tarik Ergin as Satan’s Robot. Robert Picardo as The President of Earth. Kate Mulgrew as Queen Arachnia. Jeri Ryan as Seven. Martin Rayner, making the second of his three appearances as Dr. Chaotica. Nicholas Worth (“Scream Blacula Scream”) as the burly henchman Lonzak. The fabulously cheesy art direction utilized to build the 1930s Captain Proton universe. The clanky, hilariously unconvincing nature of Chaotica’s walking water heater of a robot. The way the robot merely quiets his warnings after Tom gives it a zetz. The lack of effort with which Tom and Harry subdue Chaotica’s henchmen. The Earth president’s jacket. The scampering motion with which Arachnia pounces on Chaotica’s henchman. The silent but deadly pheromone perfume that seems to emanate out of Arachnia’s hinder. “Needless to say, lines are beginning to form.” “Especially with the Bollians!” “It seems your infantile entertainment now poses a security risk.” “Yes, ma’am. His Army of Evil.” “And don’t forget to deactivate the lightning shield!” “Chakotay, give me a minute.”
What’s not so great?
Pity sales of the “Next Generation” Blu-rays did so poorly we’ll likely never see all the gorgeous Captain Proton art direction in HD.
How does it end, spoiler boy?
“The End?”
Jan. 27, 1999. UPN.
