Nordling here.
In March of 2007, Drew "Moriarty" McWeeny did a series of articles celebrating the Summer of 1982, and I remember him asking me to contribute a piece because he knew (and really, everyone who knows me knows this) of my love for E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL. I happily obliged, but what I did not expect was what happened afterward. I received more email, more responses, to that piece than anything else I had written for Ain't It Cool News before or since. So when Drew dropped me an email saying that Steven Spielberg wanted to get in touch with me after reading it, you can imagine my response. The above letter is the result, and I still wonder how in the hell that happened. It was a genuine "holy shit" life moment.
I've had many of those with Ain't It Cool News and with Harry Knowles. Moments that have changed my life in profound and amazing ways. Moments that I will take with me whereever I go, and that I cherish and keep close to my heart. I never would have imagined in my wildest dreams that these things would happen to me, as a little kid in 1975, when I saw JAWS for the first time in a darkened theater, and having your life focus like a laser beam at that moment when the lights went up, saying to yourself (even at 5!), "I don't know what's going to happen in my life, but I want it to be around THAT." And that's something I've worked for ever since.
In 1997, when the STAR WARS re-releases were happening, and the Internet was largely new, I gravitated to this site, a site run by this movie-crazed guy in Austin with his team of secret Hollywood spies talking about cinema. I sensed a kindred soul, even though our lives were radically different. It took the Internet for me to truly become the person I wanted to be, and that was through talking to other movie fans, mostly through Ain't It Cool's Talkback and the AICN Chat Room. It was in both those places that I would talk to Harry, Drew, Eric "Quint" Vespe, Jeremy "Mr. Beaks" Smith, Steve "Capone" Prokopy, Chris "Massawyrm" Cargill, Andy "Copernicus" Howell, Kevin Biegel, and many, many others and share our enthusiasms. For me, these interactions were like Dorothy stepping through the doorway of her house and seeing all the colors of the multiverse. But more importantly, I made some lifelong friends. That's probably what I love most about my time here at Ain't It Cool News is the relationships I've discovered here - not only among the writers, but people I've met through chat, through festivals, through BNAT. These are lifelong bonds, and they will never be broken.
I've written all my life. I never thought I was very good at it, and in some ways I still don't. I beat myself up a lot over it. But people like Harry and Drew staunchly disagreed with me. They felt that I had something to say, and that my idealism for cinema needed to be shared, and I will be forever grateful to them for that. Especially Harry, who in his chats and phone calls would just get me hyped about cinema, but more importantly, about life. Harry and cynicism will never, ever cross paths. He's simply not geared for it. And thank the Maker for that. It is idealism that is the revolutionary belief system, not cynicism. It is idealism that changes the world for the better, not cynicism. It is idealism that lifts us up, not the belief that nothing we do matters, and it's all going to hell. Cynicism is easy. True idealism is work, and the rewards are infinite. Ain't It Cool News didn't teach me that, exactly, but it sure as hell confirmed it.
And it is with that attitude, that belief that a good heart and a good drive can do wonders, that I move on from Ain't It Cool News. This was a very difficult decision to make, and not something that I decided quickly. The best impetus to self-improvement is change, and over the past few months I have felt that for me to better achieve the goals that I want to achieve, I needed to get out of my safety net. Before conspiratorial minds go to work, this was nothing that Harry, Eric, Steve, and the other writers and people behind-the-scenes here did. I love them and will always have their back. Always. We may disagree, but that is what friends do. Too much of the Internet is binary - it must be one way or the other, and people who are mature understand that it's never that simple. I would have been perfectly happy writing here for as long as Harry would let me. But I don't know if I would have grown in the ways that I feel I need to grow. I have ambitions that I want to see through, and goals that I want to work on. And while AICN is home to me, if I'm to truly know my worth, I have to leave it.
I'm not done writing about movies. For AICN, I have a couple of reviews in the works, and some interviews I did for the INDEPENDENCE DAY RESURGENCE junket that I'll get up. And I won't be done after that - I'll be writing for another site that I'll probably announce on Twitter once I get everything set up. I'll also hopefully return for some 20-year anniversary articles for AICN. AICN has been around for 20 years, people. That's amazing and awesome and it's profoundly changed lives and movies in what I think are positive ways. For my Fantastic Fest friends, I certainly plan on being there this fall, and I'll be writing about what I see there. And if Harry doesn't mind, I'm still coming to BNAT, because you go home for Geek Christmas, and AICN will always be my home.
For those who have been reading me for the past years, know that I am infinitely thankful for your feedback and your enthusiasm. I've met many of you through the years, and it's been exciting and rewarding for me. I'm even appreciative of Talkback - they can certainly keep you on your toes, and when it's engaged and done without malice, can be a remarkable venue for film discussion. Before you scoff, I've seen it, and have been a part of it, and I believe it can be so again. Idealism, not cynicism, will carry the day. History backs me on this.
Not to brag, but when Steven Spielberg says you're a very good writer, well, I need to figure out if that's true. I aim to find out. Thanks for reading. I love you.
Alan "Nordling" Cerny, out.
