Star Wars Episode VII FAQ
What’s it called?
“The Force Awakens.”
Who’s responsible?
J.J. Abrams (“Star Trek”) directs from a screenplay by Abrams and Lawrence Kasdan (“The Empire Strikes Back”). Michael Arndt (“Little Miss Sunshine”) is also credited as a co-writer.
Is it any good?
Oh yes.
Is it better than the prequel trilogy?
Of course! And better than “Return of the Jedi” to boot.
Is it better than Abrams’ 2009 “Star Trek”?
No.
Is it better than “The Empire Strikes Back”?
No.
How does it start?
STAR WARS. EPISODE VII. THE FORCE AWAKENS. LUKE SKYWALKER HAS VANISHED.
What is the first line of dialogue?
“This will begin to make things right.”
Is it funny?
There are laughs.
Is it sad?
There are sad parts.
Is C3PO funny again?
He doesn’t turn up until the final act, but he got at least one solid laugh out of me.
Is Adam Driver’s Kylo Ren funny?
Not so much.
“Snoke” strikes me as a funny word. Is Andy Serkis’ Supreme Leader Snoke a comic figure?
He is not.
Is Mark Hamill not on the posters to hide Luke’s robot hand and Kenobi beard, or is there more to it?
There’s more to it. Biggish spoiler in invisotext. Ignore the fact that Hamill is second-billed on the poster; to call his (non-speaking) part a small one would be to wildly exaggerate his screen time.
Did the rebellion really conquer the Empire 30 years ago or was all that celebrating on Coruscant a lot of bullshit?
I remain a little fuzzy on this point. I think there was a reference to The Republic (which I think stays offscreen) secretly supporting The Resistance (which employs the Carrie Fisher and Oscar Isaac characters).
So is the First Order running Coruscant these days?
I’m saying no. I get the impression The Republic is still running the galaxy, at least as the movie begins.
Is Jon Boyega’s character a clone?
We never see any other Stormtroopers removing their helmets, but I’m saying no. “I was taken from a family I’ll never know,” he explains at one point. Also, the other stormtroopers sound different to me.
There are rumors that Carrie Fisher’s daughter plays either young Leia or Leia’s daughter. Are there flashbacks?
There’s a vision and perhaps some flashback-ish stuff there. But Fisher’s daughter, Billie Lourde, has a tiny (speaking) part as a member of The Resistance.
Do we hear Darth Vader’s theme music at any point?
Yes.
Does Max Von Sydow play the ghost of Obi-Wan Kenobi?
No. But he does play an old desert rat with a European accent.
Jakku looks an awful lot like Tatooine! Does the movie revisit any of the planets we’ve seen in the prior six movies?
Not that I recall.
Is Yoda in this one?
No.
Do they explain why Yoda isn’t ghosting about?
No.
Are there any Jedi ghosts flickering around this time?
None that I noticed. The film’s focus is elsewhere.
Is Han reintroduced in act one, Leia in act two and Luke in the third and final act?
More like Han starts act two, Leia starts act three and Luke is the epilogue.
Does Captain Phasma ever take off her helmet?
No.
The big news?
I am prohibited from discussing the biggest news, but I will say that this movie demonstrates that Old Ben and Yoda may have overstated the importance of Jedi training.
What else is Disney not telling us?
A trailer for subsequent sequels may or may not be embedded in the middle of this movie.
What’s good?
BB8. Daisy Ridley. Harrison Ford. Jon Boyega. Adam Driver. Andy Serkis as Snoke. The striking visuals. Kylo’s backstory. “I need a pilot.” “I thought he was a myth.” “The garbage will do.” “14 …” “I wouldn’t be nice to you.” “Where’s my boyfriend?” “A good question for another time.” “You must be so brave.” “You will never be as strong as Darth Vader.” “I’ll tighten these restraints, scavenger scum.” “It’s time for him to complete his training.”
What’s not so good?
There’s a scene I can’t talk about that I quite disliked. I’ll discuss this more on my spoiler-crammed free-for-all radio show on Saturday, after more have seen the movie.
How does it end, spoiler boy?
Two figures stand atop a hill, staring at each other.
Thursday night. Cinemas.
