Hey folks, Harry here with the application to BUTT-NUMB-A-THON 17 – The event will take place December 12 & 13th at the ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE on South Lamar in Austin!!!
I was watching the first two episodes of ASH VS EVIL DEAD earlier this evening – and while I’m not allowed to write about that specifically until the 20th of October… I will say, it is repeating on screen as I write this… so guaranteed, every fucking word is emblazoned with a smile that is just kicking my ass!
Seriously – think about this year. As a film geek, we’re sitting pretty pretty. (That’s almost a BARBARELLA reference, well now it definitely is!) I’m deliriously happy with the state of film. From the biggest Hollywood has to the beating pulsing heart of cinema which pumps life into all that attends FANTASTIC FEST. It’s pretty dazzling.
So how do you get into BNAT17? Nordling is calling it The Ass Awakens, and I’ll let him call it that, but the truth of the matter is this. There are massive expectations for BNAT this year, sure, I’ll fan those flames, because it’s a shit ton of fun, but realize whatever movies you’re thinking of playing this year, just know… the only things locked in at this point are vintage films that’ll blow your skull into tiny shrapnel that’ll infect those around you.
So how do you get into BNAT17? Be enthusiastic, articulate, inspired. I want that sacred covenant of the Holly Blain Screen # 4 at Alamo Drafthouse on South Lamar packed full of folks that’ll scream with glee if I decide to play something as ridiculously silly as XANADU or as profoundly brilliant as JULES ET JIM by Truffaut. You need to convince me through this application that your heart started beating at 24 frames a second and has kept time with innovation and technology. You believe in the recorded and manipulated image and you dream of all that you’ve never seen – future and past. Color and B&W, film & digital, sound and silent. But most of all, I need to hear who you are and why cinema and this room is so vital for you to be a part of!
I know, it sounds a tad culty, but I have to skim the most passionate and alive audience from all over the planet. Half the audience will be made of locals – and I happen to live in one of the most passionate film loving cities on the planet, birth place of AINT IT COOL NEWS and THE ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE – and me too. The rest of the audience is made of you from outside our borders. We’re looking for those of you that can’t feed your eyes and ears enough. That’s respectful of the film experience and would never dream of talking or whipping out your cell phone in a theater. You dream of an experience at the Alamo Drafthouse, where all the funds go to support the Saturday Morning Film Club, the longest running film series in Austin, that’s helping give kids the theatrical experiences they need to stay in love with film… through all its ages.
The apps are due October 31st at Midnight (no matter where you are). Then, after I recover from my annual Halloween Party, I’ll wade into the mountain of applications and try to put a full audience together within the week. (see, I’m learning)
Now – let’s get into the 21 tasks you must fulfill to attend BNAT EPISODE 17: THE ASS AWAITS. Send this to Hk at Aintitcool.com with the exact subject line:
My Ass Awaits Your Response!
You can submit in a group of any size, but realize this – Every single person must fill out the application and be as worthy as you. So pick your pal wisely and make sure they don’t let you down, cuz it’ll really blow if you don’t get in. Do realize, seating is limited, so the larger the group the harder it is to get in. Now… your tasks awaits…
- State your full given name, The Name You Wish To Be Known As, email address and your Twitter Handle.
- What Size of T-Shirt Will Make You Happy?
- Who are you applying with – and tell me why each of them have deserved the right to attend with you? Seriously, what films have they subjected you to and why is that great?
- Bruce Campbell… Man or God… Convince me…
- Your parents are possessed of Deadite spirits – you have the option of a boom stick, chainsaw, broken bottle, a titanium spork – and on the shelf behind them are seven rolls of duck tape and the Necronomicon… Oh and JET SONG from WEST SIDE STORY is playing really loudly. The world awaits your adventure. Tell me. Express it.
- INSIDE OUT was pretty damn amazing this year, how would you describe the lands of your mind? What genres make you? Any unexplored continents?
- Let’s get real for a second. Where did you grow up? Where do you currently live? And what do you do with your life?
- What single film have you watched more than any other and can you explain your insanity?
- What is it about Gene Kelly, James Cagney and Vincent Price that has you occasionally thinking about them?
- When you think about STAR WARS LAND that Disney is planning… and if you don’t – just play along with me for a bit. Ok? Now, when you’re in full on childlike fantasizing and wish dreaming… what would you most want to do in a mythical Star Wars land? Middle Earth? The Wasteland? Or would you rather think about everyone becoming zombies and then killing to survive? Or how are you making this reality better?
- When you think about the questioning scene in BLADE RUNNER – does it stress you out? I mean, who does this guy think he is telling you that you won’t help the turtle? Shouldn’t that piss you off? So Tell me about your mother? Fave movie experience with Mom. Please don’t shoot me.
- A friend and I were talking about how, we know… someday, they’re gonna remake GREASE… and she did the Ned Beatty squeal… and I said, "but can’t you see Paramount getting Channing Tatum as Danny Zucco…" and then she cratered and was like, "I’d see that." What’s the evil remake and cast that you never wanna see happen, but you’d kill to see?
- How did Obi-Wan and Yoda change your perception of existence?
- By Butt-Numb-A-Thon 18, we’ll have a new President of the United States elected. There’s a current crop and it’ll grow and die until there are very few to choose from, and no matter what… you’re left probably a bit unsatisfied. Name 5 figures from reality or Film and why the world needs them now to lead us to Mars.
- So BNAT17 is Dec 12-13th? Any titles popping out at ya that you’ll just fucking kill me if it doesn’t play? Any that you’ll kill me if it plays? And are you ok having only plastic implements to eat your delicious Drafthouse food with?
- There’s an entire galaxy of cinema that has come before for me to choose from for the vintage part of BUTT-NUMB-A-THON, I’m not asking for titles this year, I’m going to ask you to get passionate about some non-director non-writer in the history of cinema – whose work in film tickles you in every way you love to be tickled. Who would tickle the shit out of you if you saw their work on screen this year? Oh – and they have to be dead.
- Ok – Photo time. You’ve been invited to attend the grand opening of Swan’s Faust at the Paradise Theatre from Brian DePalma’s brilliant PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE. Dress up. Do your hair. Be flamboyant, it’s the fucking place to be man! If you fall in love with this look, you can dress this way for BNAT this year. For a Bonus (optional) – a video of you singing your favorite song bit or whole from PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE, but sing with a light saber.
- Send your fave photo taken of you this year – besides the photo you took for Task #17.
- Watch Sam Fuller’s THE BIG RED ONE – then rave about it! That’s the only option. If you don’t… then maybe film isn’t your thing. Lee Marvin alone… but watch Mark Hamill. He’s amazing!
- BNAT is a celebration. What else do you celebrate life with and for!
- Seriously… What would you do in George Miller’s WASTELAND and how cool would your car be?
It’s as simple as that. Answer those questions, send those photos, do that video – and pour the happiest part of you into every question and task. Find other BNATTERS by tweeting about #BNAT with that hashtag. Or in the Talk Back below.
This process is necessary to make sure this is the best movie celebration you’ve ever been to. The photos and some of your answers may be used in the Yearbook that you will receive at the event. And if you think I haven’t always been with you in fandom. Rewatch that 1980 MUPPET SHOW with Mark Hamill! Muppet me is all over it. Giggle. And besides, isn’t it time you saw C3PO tapdance and Chewie, Mark Hamill and 3PO sing When You Wish Upon A Star – and you’ll know… we’ve always known. You were always meant to be here.
