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Harry takes in that new TIME MACHINE script!
Folks, Harry here.... Moriarty recently wrote a rather gushing accounting of John Logan's TIME MACHINE script and ya know... for the first 24 pages or so, I'd agree. But as the script continued... my rampant enthusiasm went from glee to the dregs of mediocrity. And strangely enough... I began to feel that the script before my eyes was a bit like a Star Trek episode. I have no doubt that this is why Logan is writing Trek X.
Now, it should be noted that in all likelihood... the script has continued to have work done to it, afterall... this is the February 22, 2000 draft and most likely... not the draft that they are moving forward with. Now... before you go any further, realize that to be critical of a script... you must get specific... so you will be reading SPOILERS in this piece. However... before I get to them, I'll simply put it like this. The script fails to invoke magic... there is no simple majesty to it... the extra effects are just that... and the characters are, to me, even less than those we've seen before with this story. Now... Now I go into specifics...
The script starts off fine enough... In the original Pal version, when Rod Taylor was asked, "But what use is it?" in regards to his Time Machine... Rod was befuddled... it was invention for the sake of invention. The purest form of scientific creation. I like this. Why do we feel the need to create specific motivations to create specific things.
You see, in this script... Alexander (aka our usual George or H.G.) has a fiancee that is killed in a park on the night of his engagement... His creation of the time machine is to retroactively save her. Ahhh, pathos. Now, this wasn't too bad really... I liked it. Gave the character passion. He goes back, saves her... only to find that fate can not be changed. After she dies... again.
I HATE THIS. You see, Alexander saves her only to lose her a second time. Does he then try to save her again? Oooooh Noooo, he basically (for all intents and purposes) says FUCK IT, and launches into the future to bury the memory of his loss.
PROBLEM #1: Time Travel hurts. Actually this is LAME. I hates this. Sure, that masochist Moriarty likes it, but in the script time travel is basically alot like CONTACT travel... skin pulling away... strange morphs... BOLLOCKS! If I never see another skin stretch morph crap effect again, I'll die a happy man. Alright... let's take a look at it practically.... What purpose does the agony serve? Does it motivate the character? No... it is just an effect. Adds nothing to the story... brings nothing to the character.
Alright... this time, there is no nuclear war... no mushroom clouds... this time the doom of humanity is when in the process of terrafarming the moon... she explodes, causing catastrophic seismic events on Earth.... leaving a jagged shattered plate of a moon hanging in the sky. Alright, wonderful... or is it? The entire purpose of THE TIME MACHINE... the kernal of reason behind Wells' creation of the story was to protest and show the foolishness of WAR and Man's Inhumanity to Man! Now, the over-riding moral of this tale is that science will be the doom of man, and to explore and expand will destroy all humanity.
Ya know what? THat just plain blows. Wells was not anti-science, he was anti-violence... in changing the reason for the Earth's destruction... they have completely destroyed Wells' original intent.... and for what reason? Oh... well the jagged moon up above would look.... cool.
Ok... so now we are 800,000 years into the future.... where the Eloi all speak perfect English... as we all know language does not change over the centuries... dialects and slang do not pollute and metamorphisize the original source tongue. That's a nitpick, that ultimately I don't have a huge problem with... just something I'd like to note.
Now... In the far far future of Planet Earth... in this section, John Logan decides to combine THE TIME MACHINE with PLANET OF THE APES and BAD STAR TREK. You see... first, the Morlocks hunt the Eloi on the backs of genetic monster steeds... and tunnel beneath the earth like mad rabid gophers. Ahhh... but that's not all... the Morlocks are actually the slaves of the Uber-Morlocks (which bare a strange resemblance to the Dean at Alexander's college... I'm serious) that control with psychic powers beyond those of mortal man... the genetically engineered Morlocks. BLECH!
Have I mentioned the ROBOT? Oh yes... there's a Robot that saves everyone. Not only a robot, but one that lived in a library for 800,000 years and quotes Byron. Oh yes, I'm serious.
Oh, have I mentioned that the Uber-Morlocks drain the life essences of the Eloi via IV tubes? Yes... just like in DARK CRYSTAL.... making the victims prune up and translucent.
Oh.. did I mention the Robot saves everyone... You see... there was a reason in the first film, why the Time Traveler made the journey (to the overall plot) his fighting... his example inspired the Eloi to pick up stones themselves... to fight and combat the evil Morlocks... to cease being sheep. THIS WAS IMPORTANT! Now that we have a nice terminator/ titanium alloy nuclear powered Byron quoting Robo-man... why teach the Eloi anything?
Oh, and while we're at it... they destroy the TIME MACHINE too... Oh... and then inexplicably, we cut away at the end to Filby and Alexander's housekeeper in a painfully unnecessary Spielbergian endcap.
Soon as the Time Traveler enters the machine... the script derailed for me. I lost all of this as being necessary.
Alright... now they need to do one of two things... go back to the novel and adhere to it... or throw it out all together... this sort of half-assed Star Treking of the story just doesn't wash. I'll look forward to the effects... but that's about it for me. This was quite a disappointment. Damn that Moriarty... getting my hopes up.
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I had too
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Somebody get someone else to do the script. Harry, maybe?
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Hey, you dumb damn evil genius. How friggin smart can you be if you've forgotten to write the rest of your 'Best of the 90's' report? Cut the crap with your trifling Hercules introductions, your script reviews that Knowles blows out of the water and your incessant overall whining and write them up for Chrissakes!
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wait, no I don't.
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...it wasn't like the original. That's what his complaints basically boil down to. So what? The important question is if it will WORK, not if it will work the same way as the original.
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Nov 01, 2000 10:05:46 PM CST
God, wanting to see this script made into a film makes we want t
by uncapie
...or see my paycheck on Thursday's at Universal. Same difference.
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Why does Harry and the Gang continue to goto the GEORGE PAL MOVIE for their inspiration? Once again we find that the "classic" film bastardization of Wells' novel is the cause for incessant aggrevation as the most important aspects of TIME MACHINE elude these arguments.
FIRST of all, the ELOI NEVER SPOKE ENGLISH! Do we all really believe that in 800,000 years our rather awkward language will remain intact?
SECOND, Wells was NEVER anti-violence. In fact GO TO THE BOOK and witness the Time Traveller releasing a violent rage upon the Morlock, in essence showing HIS VIOLENT HUMAN NATURE. Why is this necessary you ask?
Point THREE, and MOST IMPORTANT, the novel was ALWAYS ABOUT THE SOCIAL CONFLICT BETWEEN THE CLASSES! The Morlock are one side of human nature, the survivors who embraed and were oppressed by technology, while the Eloi were the ruling class who grew so lazy they evolved to a lazy, helpless, childlike society, and essentially cattle for the Morlock (notice the reversal of domination when reverted to the most basic society). YES FRIENDS, what both HARRY AND PAL MISSED was that Morlocks were NOT mutant mosters, and Eloi were not heroes! The novel was briliant, in that it forced us to face our humanity, and the impermeance of humans upon the earth. THE BEST THING THIS REMAKE COULD DO IS INSTIGATE THE ENDING OF THE NOVEL, in which the Time Traveller escapes from the Morlocks only to go to the end of the Earth, and witness the planet on the brink of its death. It would be a solemn scene, and perhaps force us to realize our place upon this earth only lasts so long, and what are we really hoping to accomplish. WELLS WAS AN ADVOCATE OF DESTROYING OUR HIGH PERCEPTION OF OURSELVES AS SUPREME BEINGS. Retaining this would be in keeping more to Wells' spirit than any reference to the Pal film, which is placed on too high of a pedestal. Not that I like the premise of this new script more. I love the notion of humans destroying the moon, but not at the price of Wells' Arcadia. -
Nov 01, 2000 11:29:52 PM CST
No wonder they tried to hide the script for so long: IT'S A FUCK
by bari umenema
Way to go DreamWorks, YOU RAPED AND DESTROYED A CLASSIC WORK OF SCI-FI. I HOPE IT DROPS LIKE THE PIECE OF TOILET WASTE IT NOW IS. WAY TO GO WALTER PARKES! WAY TO GO MR. SPIELBERG! WAY TO GO JOHN LOGAN! I for one will be renting the video of George Pal's version on opening weekend and I urge all who read this board to boycott this lame shit-job remake.
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Nov 01, 2000 11:31:33 PM CST
Sorry I meant to say Burn It at Farenheit 451. Anger clouded my
by bari umenema
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Nov 02, 2000 12:13:53 AM CST
Beacuse the George pal movie was brilliant and stands on its own
by uncapie
You can't tell me that the scene where George meets Jamie(Filby's son, brilliantly portrayed as two characters by Alan Young.) and tells him of his friends death doesn't affect him. Watch that scene. He then gets in his machine and before the atomic war, realizing that manking has doomed itself. He states this earlier before his time travel adventure as well. Geroge sees the sundial Jaime had made for him bonding the friendship between George and Filby when all of his other scientific friends left him. Filby was the only one that had faith. In the future, Weena is the only one that comes out in the dark to be with George. This strengthens George's faith in humanity that there might be a chance for them. Its explained that there is a spark in the Eloi, it just needs to be awakened. The Morlocks may run the underground and the night, but its like George says they've degerated into the lowest form of human. Cannibals. Their jobs is to run the machines, make the clothes, grow the food and eat the Eloi. Their fellow man. Who are they going to get for the "Time Traveler?" Tom Cruise? Brad Pitt? Ben Affleck? NO ONE CAN FILL ROD TAYLOR'S SHOES! NOI ONE! THAT GUY IS A REAL MAN! PLUS, HE DID HIS OWN STUNTS! Watch him when he fights the Morlocks! That guy's a fucking He-Man(Plus, he's Australian.) running around, leaping, kicking and punching-out Morlock butt! ALL ON HIS OWN! No way should this movie ever be remade!
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What the hell kind of acid was this guy tripping on when he wrote this script?! I've never seen such a bass ackwards adaption for a classic novel. He obviously completely missed the whole point of the novel. Hal-solo, you're dead on about Wells' original intent with the book. It was about the classes and humanity's arrogance, not about anti-violence. There were no heroes and villains in the book. It was a social commentary more than it was a story. This script just plain misses the whole point.
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Nov 02, 2000 1:17:05 AM CST
WHAT! THE LEADER OF THE MORLOCKS LOOKS LIKE "DEAN WORMER?!!!"
by uncapie
"Who threw the Fizzies in the swimming pool?!! Damn those Eloi!"
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It's a bastardization of "Thundar the Barbarian". I could care less about Hollywood screwing with H.G.Wells. I grew up watching "Time After Time" on HBO. I am pretty nonplussed when it comes to English Literature Tinseltown-style. But to screw with THUNDAR THE BARBARIAN! To rip it off without so much as a backward glance. The moon exploding, leaving behind a ghostly sliver in the night sky... Morlocks who will end up looking like Ookla the Mock (who was really nothing more than a Chewbacca clone and yet had his own quiet dignity). I remember when Princess Ariel was more than just a little mermaid. I remember when a man, a barbarian man, could wear fuzzy boots and kick ass doing it. I remember when studios could tell the difference between a cartoon that begs to be made live action (like THUNDAR, or JABBERJAW for that matter, because, when you think about it, "WHAT IF Curly Howard was a big shark who traveled throughout the universe with a teenaged rockband?". Fathom that, Sherry Lansing!) and one that it's not going to survive the translation (SCOOBY DOO, JOSIE & THE PUSSYCATS). If the estate of Harold Lloyd can sue Disney over THE WATERBOY, Warner Bros. who holds the rights to the Hanna Barbera library should put a cease and desist on who ever is making this piece of plagerism (Paramount perhaps? Wake up, Sherry Lansing!). It's all so sublimely disturbing. This giant shark doesn't even need water to swim in. Sure, he's in space, but even in zero g, a shark couldn't just walk around on his tail fins, but this one does and he sounds just like one of the Three Stooges, which really sets the show apart from "The Pussycats in Outerspace". It's brilliant! So, in review, THE new and improved TIME MACHINE is evil, THUNDAR THE BARBARIAN is magnificent grist for the Hollywood mill, and JABERJAW is waiting.
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Done Correctly with script revisions this could be a great Sunday afternoon popcorn movie, please people, although Harry has read the script we haven
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...Stephen Baxter. Anyone read The Time Ships? It's the authorised sequel to the original novel, it has 'good' Morlocks, a Dyson sphere around the Sun, a great steampunk section set in an alternate version of the 1930's, time-travelling luftwaffe and even going all the way back to the Big Bang. But what really makes it work is that Baxter understands the source material and writes characters so well that it makes the book an absolute joy. He's got such a sense of scale and visual wonder that he'd turn the original into a fantastic script, with the proper respect for Wells' source.
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It was bad enough when Harry would post stories a day after Corona or Dark Horizons broke them and claim them as his own. Then he became the biggest quote whore in the entertainment industry. Blair Witch 2?! The Flintstones Viva Las Vegas!!! And now he's started to rip-off script reviewers. Check out Stax's review of this same script -- http://filmforce.ign.com/news/1185.html -- Do Stax's point ring a bell? I'm not sure which is worse: being a quote whore or a plagiarist. Unfortunately, Knowles seems to be both.
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And by that, I mean go all the way back to the Wells novel. Remember THE INVISIBLE MAN? Universal kept trying to change the story around, and none of their attempts worked. RC Sherriff went back to the source and wrote his script as a straightforward translation of the novel. And it worked! The original story was cinematic as it was, and it played well on screen. THE TIME MACHINE should be the same way. George Pal's film was fun, but it hasn't aged too well. The only way to make THE TIME MACHINE come alive on film is to go back to the original book and do a FAITHFUL adaptation. No Hollywood-style "improvements," just stick to the source material. The Logan script is just a botch job on the order of BATTLEFIELD EARTH. Herbert George Wells' book deserves to be the basis for a far superior film, don't you think?
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I would like everyone who has SEEN this new version of The Time Machine to please raise your hand.
You cannot judge something you have never witnessed. Go back to living your miserable lives you Talkback whores. Please don't make me have to shut you up ever again.
~Favorite Sidekick -
There has not been one remake that was worth a damn compared to the originals I challenge anyone here to name one !
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Hey side kick why dont you come over and suck my dick you stupid bitch !
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