FutureHerc Sends Back A ROSWELL Review!!
Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
HERCULES THE STRONG seems to believe that ROSWELL keeps getting better. I've given it a few chances, and there's something about the tone of the show that rubs me wrong. With TV especially, you're inviting an aesthetic into your home once a week. Some shows you watch because you just like the feel of them, the look of them, the sound of them. Other shows never work for you because something just strikes you wrong right away. Here's HERC to explain why ROSWELL has, for him, really started hitting its stride in this sophomore year.
ROSWELL 2.5 FAQ
WHAT’S IT CALLED?
“The End of the World.”
Because that’s what Max Evans travels back in time to prevent in this “Terminator”-evoking epic. The show’s opening, set in 2014 (“minutes before the fall,” according to a superimposition), depicts thirtysomething versions of Liz and Max urgently preparing to use the Grenelyth to create a “tear in spacetime” to send Max back to 2000. FutureMax’s mission: to ensure Max and Liz never consummate their relationship.
Series creator Jason Katims is credited with the teleplay.
Yes, “Roswell” continues to cement its status as “most improved” series of the season with an episode that bolsters the show’s premise with a new, much more compelling reason to keep Max and Liz apart. Things should get considerably more interesting following tonight’s events.
UM, WHAT’S A GRANOLATH?
Grenelyth. It’s that thing Isabel discovered at the conclusion of 2.3. The giant, (still) mysterious cone-looking deal the alien congresswoman was so anxious to find. The Grenelyth.
WHAT ARE FUTURELIZ AND FUTUREMAX LIKE?
Pretty much like PresentLiz and PresentMax. Liz sports darker lipstick and a slightly shorter ‘do while Max has grown his hair out to approximate a late-era Michael Hutchence look. Both have taken to wearing clothing made of what appears to be shiny gray vinyl (presumably FutureDenim). There is no indication as to what they do for a living (if anything), whether they still live in Roswell, whether they drove to the Grenelyth a hovercar, or whether they now maintain their own army of robot domestics.
IF MAX AND LIZ CONSUMATE THEIR ROMANCE, THE WORLD WILL END?
Apparently. In FutureMax’s timeline, the Max-Liz romance drives Tess away from Roswell. BIG mistake. Huge. “It turned out Tess was critical to our survival,” explains FutureMax. “The four of us – Michael, Isabel, Tess and I – we made a complete unit. We all had different gifts. And with one of us missing we weren’t as strong.” When the evil aliens set about conquering the Earth, the remaining Roswell aliens find themselves ill-equipped to repel them.
DOES THE TELEPLAY ACTUALLY BOTHER TO PURSUE OTHER PLOTLINES?
It does. Michael grows suspicious of the Crashdown’s new hottie waitress, especially since she blew into town after “the signal” began leading various interested parties to town. Michael figures she’s an alien or a government spy, or both. He “pretends” to succumb to her sexual entreaties in an effort to learn more, much to Maria’s horror.
WHAT ELSE DO WE LEARN?
That Max’s love for Liz plumbs considerable depths. As Liz and FutureMax keep planting obstacles, Max keeps overcoming them, demonstrating each time a new level of adoration for his little brunette Earth girl.
It turns out Liz may sometime in the next 14 years acquire a friend named Serena.
HERC’S RATING FOR “ROSWELL” 2.5?
The Hercules T. Strong Rating System:
**** better than most motion pictures
*** actually worth your valuable time
** as horrible as most stuff on TV
* makes you quietly pray for bulletins
I will one day warn you not to defy me!
Readers Talkbackcomments powered by Disqus
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Oct. 30, 2000, 7:54 a.m. CST
by B A Fett
I'm first -- yahoo!
Oct. 30, 2000, 8:32 a.m. CST
I hate Tess. I hate the idea of Tess, I hate that she forms a "unit" with Max and Michael and Isabel. I hate that she's the reason that Max and Liz can't be together. But still, I can't wait to see this episode.
Oct. 30, 2000, 9:17 a.m. CST
Hmm...Max and Liz are crazy in love with each other, but they can never have sex because if they do, something horrible will happen. Do the words "Buffy and Angel" mean anything to anyone? I wonder if the WB insisted on that plotline because it worked so well before.
Oct. 30, 2000, 9:34 a.m. CST
Tess is a major babe! She is perfect complement to the Liz character and provides some real sexual tension in the Liz-Max relationship.
Oct. 30, 2000, 9:43 a.m. CST
Why does this seem so damn familiar? The "can't have sex cause that'll make something horrible happen" thing is suddenly seeming old.
Oct. 30, 2000, 12:44 p.m. CST
Try to read any one of those paragraphs aloud with a straight face. It's not Herc's fault, it's just that the script is...funny.
Oct. 30, 2000, 6:23 p.m. CST
I've said it once and I'll say it again..... Katherine Heigl is such a fucking hottie!! She was good in BRIDE OF CHUCKY as well.
Oct. 30, 2000, 8:32 p.m. CST
Oh come on, is there no way out of this other than having Max fall out of love with Liz and in love with Tess??? The important thing is keeping the unit together right? So does that mean automatically that Isabelle and Michael or Tess and Max have to be with each other, physically and sexually??? I don't know, I think forcing this issue will eventually turn viewers away, I believe Max and Liz can be with each other without turning Tess away, I mean what the heck is wrong with Tess anyway, does she have to be the leader's wife, is she so without identity that she has to fulfill this destiny? Come on, give Tess more some other focus...
Oct. 30, 2000, 8:52 p.m. CST
I hope it isn't implied that because of his great sadness, Max slept with Tess instead...anyways, Future Max did say at the end that this is a new world now, and they chooses their own destiny, he also said that Liz will not necessarily be alone. Ok, so we know that by preventing Liz and Max from sleeping together that night, the future is changed, but if they still end up with each other (when they are more matured, when their relationship with Tess becomes better so by being together won't drive Tess away,) that should not necessarily result in the same future that Future Max came from...Well, I just hope that this episode isn't the end of Liz and Max, and I can't wait to see when Max discovered that Liz did that to drive him away, or will I...
Oct. 30, 2000, 9:10 p.m. CST
This has got to be one of the best episodes of Roswell yet,(I have already seen it). The last scene alone gets it four stars. Just when you thought they wouldn't be able to sustain the "Max and Liz forbidden love" idea any longer, this episode comes along and tears you apart. This show is the best. If you haven't watched it yet, GIVE IT A CHANCE!! You won't regret it.
Oct. 30, 2000, 10:03 p.m. CST
by No Refill
ok i don't know why you people think that tess slept with max and that future max was supposed to stop max and liz from sleeping with each other. This storyline can hardly be compared with Buffy/Angel. The only thing needed to change the future was to keep Tess from leaving Roswell. All she Max to give her some kind of personal comfort, a place in his life. I think from now on we'll get to know Tess better and she'll be written so that viewers will like her better. It's obvious that she'll stay because future max disappears, but there's still the possibility that Liz and Max will still get together. But damn it's gonna be a while before he talks to her again.
Oct. 30, 2000, 11:25 p.m. CST
The show's been great so far, but this episdoe was the best. SO f'n glad they resurrected the Max-Liz thing, which was the centerpiece of the great 1st season, plus it gave Shiri Appleby some screen time for once this year. Tess is OK. I like her rapport with Kyle a lot. Harry, you really should watch the show.
Oct. 31, 2000, 1:23 a.m. CST
I agree with Zalasta. What I see happening is that Max and Tess will make the expected overtures towards one another, but when Tess sees that Liz is Max's One And Only True Love, she'll willingly let him go; but after getting a bit closer, Max and Tess are able to remain friends, so our Futuristic Fantastic Four will be able to use their combined mojo defeat Futuristic Fearless Leader and his evil minions. What I liked about his episode is that after seeming to be such a cold cookie throughout last season, Max is revealed to be the classic gushy romantic at heart.
Oct. 31, 2000, 1:28 a.m. CST
Another part of this episode I like is where Liz tells Max to put his shirt on, implying the statement "Looking at you half-naked makes me want to take you right here, right now!" Amen to that!
Oct. 31, 2000, 8:23 a.m. CST
Max and Liz will eventually get together. Tess and Kyle will get together (hell, they almost "consumated" last night). "Tom Hank's Son" and "Liz's Friend" (sorry, can't remember their names right now) will get together. Michael and Isabel will get together. Anyone want to bet?
Oct. 31, 2000, 8:55 a.m. CST
Brain lock over. I meant to say Alex and Maria will get together. Alex hitting Michael was to over the top for "just a friend".
Oct. 31, 2000, 9:37 a.m. CST
Something that seemed to be overlooked by everyone, on show and off, is the existence of the other pod people. At the end of last week's episode, it is revealed that there are four more aliens out there from the same world. I thought that would at least be mentioned this week. The only thing that might be a hint at that is Liz's statement to FutureMax, "There will never be another you." Well, since Max and gang are clones of the great leaders, what's to say that there werent' two sets created in case one didn't make it. Hmmmm.....
Oct. 31, 2000, 10:37 a.m. CST
Don't hate Tess, she was a really good demon in "Beastmaster" last season. The fortune teller. What a key. FutureMax came back after the fact not before. Liz and Max will be together just not in that exact future. But Liz is the only one aware that 14 years in the future there is still a possibility of the earth being attacked by evil aliens. What does she do???? T2...
Oct. 31, 2000, 10:53 a.m. CST
What was the name and the singer of the song at the end of the show when they danced. I thought it was I shall be, but i couldn't find it on Napster. that song was perfect for he moment. Roswell rules!
Oct. 31, 2000, 12:55 p.m. CST
I mentioned that exact idea last week.
Oct. 31, 2000, 2:30 p.m. CST
That last scene was just bad. "They'll never be a second you." You ever get the feeling that all these world savior figures are just wasting their time? Last night, I was ready to say to hell with the world, and have some damn happiness for once. But Liz handled it pretty heroically. I don't know where her character is going after this, though.
Oct. 31, 2000, 4:38 p.m. CST
Yep, Moriarty, you poor villain, you. You've missed out on a good show. Your loss, but thanks for not slamming it too much just because you don't get it--you know, the way the Buffy bashers do. And to the other Roswell fans, SHIIIIIITTTTT! Tess can't leave? shitshitshitshit--I hate that little tart! I hoped she'd give Kyle something to do for a change, but now I HATE HER! Okay, Emilie De Raven is a pretty young lady, and she's a darn fine talented actress, but her character is death. You just want to take a sledge hammer to her head and end it all. Frankly, I haven't been able to stop thinking about this episode and its really painful ending. Sure it was powerful to have to prevent the greatest love of your life to save your friends, but was it necessary? I don't think FutureMax's solution was right at all. Send PresentLiz to PresentMax and tell him what will happen if he doesn't at least befriend Tess. Or get Tess and Kyle together(no work there). Hell, just warning PresentLiz should be enough to save the future. I know it's good heartbreak, but I hope the writers know that the fans hate Tess now with a passion that could bite acid. I think she's gonna go all Glenn Close from Fatal Attraction on us when she learns that Max really still loves Liz after everything that's happened(he does, you know he does). Maybe when he figures out it was just a set up he'll dump Tess's ass and go after Liz again And then FutureMax will reemerge, trying to get Liz to her him again. Maybe then she can point out that he's basically asking her to destroy him. There was just too much that this episode brought up that wasn't satisfactorily answered. I don't think Liz resisted FutureMax's plan as much as she should have--it was pretty unfair. And Ouch for Liz, she's gonna crack with all this heartbreak. She'll end up in a psychiatric ward before the end of the season. And oh yes, if Charmed can have three seasons then this WILL have a full second season.
Oct. 31, 2000, 6:32 p.m. CST
Just wanted to let you know that the song FutureMax & PresentLiz dance to at the end is "I Shall Believe" by Sheryl Crow. It is the last track on her Tuesday Night Music Club CD (or whatever it is called...the first one). Hope I'm not repeating this info if someone has already given it to you. It's a great song! One of my all-time faves which just made the ending even better for me!
Nov. 1, 2000, 1:41 a.m. CST
by Crazy Beth
Personally, I would like to see Kyle and Tess get together. This "gets the aliens in the family" with the Valientes. It would be WONDERFUL if Tess would realize that even though Max tries to love her, she is "second to Liz" and that 2)she loves Kyle more that Max because Kyle LOVES HER MORE!! I know!! Sloppy romantic here---wants EVERYONE TO HAVE A HAPPY ENDING!! Alex---looks like Jason Katims is going to follow the "Roswell High" books lead and break up Alex and Isabell forever!! Colin Hanks is SO HOT!! Maybe a cute "brain-i-ac" like him would spice up the show! Maria and Michael have to get back together--Destiny or not!! I have GREAT CONFIDENCE in Jason Katims (who I think is WONDERFUL) to pull this off and make us all sit on the edge of our chairs doing it!!
Nov. 1, 2000, 2:22 a.m. CST
Personally, my reason for disliking Roswell is not because I "don't get it." I do get it; I just don't like it. The thing about Buffy is, even on its worst day, it can still make me laugh more consistently than 99% of the "funny" shows on TV. Roswell takes itself way too seriously; it needs a character like Spike or Cordelia whose primary role is to make fun of everybody else. It just needs more laughs in general. The X-Files went downhill when the writers lost the ability to properly balance the humor and drama, and without sufficient humor to counterweight the angst, Roswell is going to be just another soap opera.
Nov. 1, 2000, 8:57 a.m. CST
It's really inconceivable that Max can truly believe Liz would betray him like that, from the scenes they showed for next week's episode, I think Max and Tess were in a lot of those scenes, and standing way too close with each other :P Anyways, I sort of hope the show would move on to other stuff, but personally I don't like how Max/Liz relationship is left at...
Nov. 1, 2000, 9:23 a.m. CST
Hi, everyone! I have a bit of a theory about "End of the World". Okay, here goes. I'm not too sure that Max really believes that Liz is sleeping with Kyle. His first reaction may be to think so from the evidence of them in bed together but I think that after he cooled off and thought about it he would see that it's not possible. He knows Liz. He knows that she would never have sex with anyone at the drop of a hat and certainly not without some really strong emotion attached. Liz hasn't seen hide nor hair of Kyle for months now and wouldn't go crazy with lust out of nowhere like that. If she can resist Max then she can sure as hell resist (if she felt anything) Kyle. Also, Max knows that if Liz didn't really love him then she never would've seen the things that she saw in her visions whenever they kissed. That's not something that you can fake. He also knows that he can trust her above all people because she knows his secret and yet she's stood by him all this time. If he can trust her with his life than he can trust her with his heart and the whole situation with Tess (demon from hell) wouldn't have been bothering her if she didn't want Max. I think what might be really making him worry is the fact that he doesn't know the reason behind her obviously desperate behavior. He has to know that there must be something going on to make her resort to such extreme measures because if this had been the case all along then she would've done this along time ago. Hell, if this was the case, she never would have went out with Max to begin with. Okay, that's my piece. What do you all think? P.S. Drath, you are so funny! And you're right, Tess is evil and must be destroyed! LOL!
Nov. 1, 2000, 12:22 p.m. CST
Classic story line, just can't wait for Liz and Max to get back together for keeps this time. Liz has to say something soon about the "alien invasion" so the fab-four can get prepared. Tess has to stay to keep Kyle company and everyone alive. She is just tired of being ousted. Isabel's new interest has to be a bad guy for her like the prophecy said, she may betray. But it will mend in the long run because Michael will realize what is going to happen if she does persue that road to sin. This episode really showed the needed sparks between Kyle and Tess, so there is a plus. However, my heart just ripped open to the inevitable of a good plot when Liz "had to do what she must." Ugh....Max has to find out somehow, maybe Liz will be on the edge of death after a skin attacks her??? Hope the writers don't let Liz and Max give up on their relationship at the end of the season, at least give us some hope before then. Also, no mention of the other 4 pod-people from the future Max...
Nov. 1, 2000, 3:32 p.m. CST
You aren't the first person to tell me that there's a difference between not liking and not getting(ie understanding) a show. I don't get the X-Files. I don't get what's so great about it, or its appeal, although I can guess. To me it's just a standard mystery show that pulls in people with cliffhangers and pretends to have a plan when it doesn't. I don't like it, and I don't get why others DO like it. However, by saying "I don't get it" I give the show's fans the benefit of the doubt that they are enjoying their show just as I enjoy oh say Buffy and Angel and that that enjoyment is legitimate and not indicative of the stupidity that I'd associate with die hard fans of say Titans(just kidding, maybe). It's an attempt to acknowledge that my opinion is not all there is. So I don't think you get Roswell if you think it's a mere "soap opera." I didn't think that Buffy was a soap opera back in its second melodramatic but exciting season, but I was told by some that that's all it was with a few fight scenes thrown in for good luck. I think there's some genuine thought on Roswell that lifts it above the bad TV that Moriarty sees, though it's not as great a show as Buffy in my mind by any means. And I think Buffy has improved most since last season, not Roswell as Herc says. However, nothing I've said is meant as a slur to your intelligence or taste, epitome. You've got Roswell's number about it's somber tone. I agree with you 100% that Roswell is too heavy handed, bordering on pretentious at times, and it needs to lighten up. That's why the scene two weeks ago when Kyle met Tess was so great. More of that, please. Indeed, a Spike or Cordelia character would be a welcome addition so long as it's something unique to Roswell and not a rip off. Without at least SOME levity, the show will certainly degenerate into that unwanted sci-fi soap. And the ever-increasing Jason Behr-chested scenes are no help preventing that IMHO.
Nov. 1, 2000, 3:35 p.m. CST
I'm sorry, that was a stupid typo to make. I didn't mean to do that, epitone, my apologies!
Nov. 2, 2000, 3:03 a.m. CST
Good comments there, Drath. You're right to say that X-Files is just a mystery show. But it is (or was, in its first few seasons) a very good, well-written mystery show. As for Roswell, I think it could have some real potential if they brought in some better, funnier writers. I really did want to like it--if nothing else, it would give me something to watch on Monday nights--but it just seems too overwrought and corny to me. It tries to mimic Buffy in too many ways (probably in large part the fault of the WB), and when it does it's obvious that it's not on par with that show. But I guess it's obvious that a lot of people respond to it emotionally in a way that I don't, and I can accept that, because I know a lot of people don't respond to Buffy in the way that I do. So, to each his own.
Nov. 2, 2000, 3:34 p.m. CST
Ok, frankly haveing been in Max's place a few years back, I was crushed to see it going on to him ( hopeless romantic that I am )and I speak from experience that ya don't fall out of love with that soul mate. I was actually upset about this enough to look for a place to scream my frustrations ( and I am here ) but reading all the posts prior to mine I have reached my moment of zen. LOL If I understand it correctly, Tess ( herefore known as "the evil one") just has to be with the group in Roswell and not leave. How is this going to be accomplished when she see's what Max is feeling in his eyes every time Liz walks by or passes on the street. Liz has to tell them something about the impending doom in the future just so they can start honeing their skills indivisually and as a group. My hopes are that "the evil one" will go to Kyle and realize his interests are more than "I am forced to you, so lets make the best of this " emotions. ( second fiddle AND rebound , ..oh what fun ) Liz and Max ( go figure ) I think Kyle will start haveing cold sweats with the way Max is looking at him and will break ( starting the Kyle/evil one relationship and telling the evil one what he did , she confronts Liz / Liz talks to Max etcetera etcetera. This will start getting the groups together, there are a wee bit too many splintered groups right now . If the feelings don't get straightened out then the core group will split up anyway. I would hate to see Liz ( eyes to die for )leave Roswell because she just can't stand the emotions anymore ( how would you feel knowing that the person you love with all the fiber of your being, the person you felt you were created for, you just crushed them emotionally? and you get to see them almost every day with that emptyness in their eyes? ) *sigh* I need a hug...GROUP HUG!! LOL . The Cat is happy ...Purrrr
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