Harry,I just came from a SNEAK PREVIEW of Man From U.N.C.L.E. in the suburbs of Chicago – a little theatre called the Regal Cantera Stadium 17 in Warrenville, IL.Regal and Gofobo sponsored a SNEAK PREVIEW of the film to members of the Regal Crown Club.DISCLAIMER: I have never seen any of the television show from the 1960’s/70’s
My Overview of the film:
Man From U.N.C.L.E. (2015) SPOILERS!
The film opens with some splashy red title cards with the cast names in no particular order and music that Tarantino would have passed on drunk.
We are presented with Superman a.k.a. Henry Cavill, and are not given his name for some time.
We see Army Hammer (a.k.a. Lone Ranger) spying on him in the reflection of something reflective... and Henry Cavill noticing him spying. Again, no names.
It’s apparently WWII and the Berlin Wall is going up. Apparently Cavill is an “American CIA Agent” and his British accent seeps through on occasion. Hammer is a “Russian KGB Agent” and does a pitiful Russian accent.
Some chase scene happens with cars and a girl mechanic (Alicia Vikander) and Cavill flees with the woman, leaving Hammer hanging on the East Berlin side over a mine field.
Here we skip all over the place.
There are many subtitles that fly by faster than a normal human being can read them. A lot of Russians and Germans talking very softly and tons of “blink and you miss it” English subtitles. These are apparently IMPORTANT CHARACTER BACKSTORY text for many of the main roles in this film. They are abundant and poorly managed.
From here, it seems as if the CIA and KGB have to work together for some reason to find this girl’s Dad.
The story has no underlying direction.
The plot changes mid-stream to finding the girl’s Uncle, not her Dad, and then later back to finding her Dad.
Throughout the film, no character motivation is provided at all - no depth, just action scenes followed by poorly filmed, generically constructed, under-edited blocks of "things happening" for no other reason than to have "things happen" on screen.
They meet a tall blonde lady, who is apparently the main villain, but it’s handled so poorly, she could simply be a background extra.
The weird pace and random directions this film takes makes it all so confusing, I can’t make out where I am even trying to relate it all to you.
About 2/3rds the way through the film, the editing style changes completely and they start using all sorts of split-screen and loud music over action sequences, which makes these action scenes all worthless and boring and emotionally deprived of any purpose.
Then Cavill sits in a truck for 10 minutes and drinks some booze and slowly eats a sandwich as he watches in the side mirror as Hammer does circles in a speedboat on a lake outside a warehouse. Seriously – 10 freaking minutes of Superman eating a sandwich.
I'm not sure what this film is about or why it was made.
I represent the millions of Gen-X-ers & Millennials who will go see this for a specific actor (Henry Cavill or Army Hammer) and walk out having forgotten whatever it is this thing is about.
Somewhere in there, Hugh Grant shows up a couple of times looking old and grandfatherly.
Then there’s an aircraft carrier and a bunch of stuff about two nukes being linked together so that you launch one and it targets the other...?
I rate this one as...
SKIP IT.
If you use this, call me
MoatsArt outside Chicago
