Opening this weekend is THE VATICAN TAPES - the possession film you probably don't need to see, because you've pretty much seen it all before.
It plays like a checklist for possession horror. Soon after her 27th birthday, Angela (Olivia Taylor Dudley) starts acting weird - she's distant, she seems unwell, and nobody can peg exactly what is wrong with her. Eventually, things progress from bad to worse, and death and destruction come to almost anyone who comes in contact with her. When modern medicine and psychiatry fail to help, her father (Dougray Scott) and boyfriend (John Patrick Amedori) turning to a trusted priest (Michael Pena) for assistance. The Vatican becomes involved, opens an investigation and eventually determines that Angela is possessed by a demonic entity and that an exorcism must be performed.
Though originally conceived as a found footage film, director Mark Neveldine ultimately opted for a more traditional narrative approach. The titular "tapes" in question refer to the filmed evidence of Angela's case that the Vatican has collected and is using as a part of their investigation. It consists mostly of footage from various security cameras that Angela has come in contact with over the course of the story. It pops up wherever it can be squeezed in and doesn't really adding anything to the course of the events, other than a different viewpoint, and occasionally a timestamp. Neveldine makes an attempt at using this footage as a nonlinear storytelling mechanic, but that progression often backfires, broadcasting some of the more shocking moments before they even transpire.
You've seen 95% of it before, which is what makes the film so frustrating. THE VATICAN TAPES succeeds in following the template for a possession film, but really nothing more. All of the expected bits and pieces are there – weird behavior, the inability of medical and mental health professionals to figure it all out, badass priests who know better than everybody, weird physical phenomena – hell, when the exorcist shows up, he is even wearing Father Merrin’s hat.
The film does everything you already expect, and nothing more. It makes no attempt at deviating from the status quo. It's not a problem unique to this particular film – possession horror has kind of been in the shithouse lately - but seeing it lazily slogged through for the millionth time does nothing to make this particular iteration any different from the dozens that have come before it.
Which would be functional if it were at all entertaining, but sadly, it doesn't even have the cheap thrills factor going for it. It's just not any fun. There is no love here - the scares are telegraphed, the violent moments are dialed back, there is little character development and very little innovation. The few interesting bits that do seem to attempt to distinguish themselves come very late in the process, after the film has already drowned in a sea of mediocrity. We don't even get the pleasure of watching Michael Pena be charming. Any natural charisma that he has is sandblasted away by the banality of the script.
THE VATICAN TAPES brings nothing new to the table, and doesn't even tell the old stuff in a meaningful way. You know all of the turns. You are never surprised by where the film is going until maybe the last 10 minutes. By then, it's too little, way way way too late.
