BOB’S BURGERS VOL. 2 #1

Writer: Various
Artist: Various
Publisher: Dynamite Entertainment
Reviewer: Lyzard

I was a latecomer to the glory that is the BOB’S BURGERS animated TV series, and I’m a little late to the party with its comic book run. To me it was hard to justify spending money on a comic when I could watch the series on TV or Netflix whenever I want for free. While the comic has its moments, there is hardly enough here to justify the purchase price.

BOB’S BURGERS VOLUME 2.1 has three short stories and some concept art--that’s it. Instead of an entire issue containing a narrative worthy of an episode, the book rather contains material that could only fill the commercial breaks.

The three separate tales included do stay true to the TV show. The characters interact as you would expect, and I could imagine the plots appearing as part of a regularly-aired episode. While the various writers maintain a high level of consistency and faithfulness to the show, the artists vary in their interpretation of the BOB’S BURGERS visual style. This would be alright if it wasn’t for Derek Schroeder’s spot-on drawings that capture both the character design and shot composition found on FOX so well that it stands head and shoulders above the rest of the book.

Volume 2.1 of BOB’S BURGERS reads like the scraps left on the editing room floor. The storylines are funny and accurate to the show, but there isn’t enough meat on their bones. Just as the plots get going they are wrapped up and we move on to a just as humorous but similarly cut short experience. While I was glad to find that BOB’S BURGERS the TV show lived up to the hype, I cannot say the same for the comic.

Lyzard is Lyz Reblin, a graduate student at the University of Texas pursuing a master's degree in Media Studies... which is just a fancy way of saying she plays a lot video games, watches far too many horror films, and then tries to pass it all off as "research."

CAPTAIN CANUCK #2

Writer: Kalman Andrasofszky
Art: Kalman Andrasofszky
Publisher: Chapter House
Reviewer: Morbidlyobesefleshdevouringcat

Recently I’ve found myself in the good fortune of having a buttload of comics dumped into my lap by way of a good friend’s father. Amid the four hundred plus singles I discovered all fourteen issues of the original 1975 release of CAPTAIN CANUCK and, honestly, my first thought was “Oh, yeah. We don’t just have Wolverine. There’s this guy.”

Not the best indication of how the only outwardly Canadian superhero is deemed in this generation, and I’m sure my friend’s father would be cringing at dinner if I relayed my thoughts; from his latest rant on comics, Captain Canuck was supposedly a moderate success during his youth. Granted the series was released just after WWII, so that makes sense as the first issue has the hero fighting some foreign invaders attempting world domination, but almost 40 years later what relevance does Captain Canuck hold besides looking like Guardian’s possible twin brother and being really, really nice?

The newest reimagining, brought by Chapter House, doesn’t show too much promise of making the hero stand out, but the story itself is fun and engaging. With the release of the second issue we see a far more developed Captain with incredibly likeable characteristics, but it’s mostly his teammates that ensure he evokes a sort of unique awkward quirk to his dialogue and mannerisms.

In the second part of the “Aleph” arc, Captain Canuck battles zombies in the Albertan oil sands. A strange liquid gold created by his nemesis Mr. Gold has been infecting the workers, and now only a few remain. The liquid itself can move of its own will, which is actually Mr. Gold controlling it thought a type of otherworldly magic, and attempts to kill Captain Canuck. Lo and behold, it does not work, therefore forcing the liquid to find other means of meaningless destruction, and so it decides it can steer a kodiak. A sort of Western-style mecha battle ensues as Kebec jumps in and runs over the liquid. While everyone and everything seems to be ok, one of the survivors on the escapement with the crew has gotten gold on her and is being used by Mr. Gold to eavesdrop on them.

Of course, in good ol’ original CC fashion there is another mini-story lingering after the main arc. Written by Ed Brisson, who chooses a monologue style for a shorter back piece, it brings Captain Canuck in “Arctic Assault”, a short environmental story examining the negative effects of drilling out in the arctic waters.

The creative team was definitely placed in a difficult position, attempting to re-create a character 40 years later that would appease new and old readers. This second issue certainly had some chuckles, and to see how the writers created Canuck with some depth and personality that didn't revolve around being superfluously patriotic was refreshing, but thus far it’s nothing special. The fact that they describe Kebec as having Asperger’s Syndrome is really, really cool. It’s great to see any form of decreasing stigma towards mental health and still have her be a complete babe and kick ass. Otherwise the issue was decent.

DAREDEVIL #16

Writer: Mark Waid
Artist: Chris Samnee
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Reviewer: Masked Man

Seems like no one told Daredevil the world was ending, as his award-winning comic book keeps rolling on despite SECRET WARS (Oddly enough, Daredevil wasn't in the first SECRET WARS either). It's also funny that despite all the changes in the Marvel U--Thor's a woman, Nova's a little kid, Ms. Marvel's in high school, the Falcon is now Captain America, Wolverine is dead, the Fantastic Four are canceled, Tony Stark is amoral (see AXIS), Magneto is no longer the Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver's father, the Hulk and Captain Marvel both think mohawks are back (were they ever) in style, the X-Men are teenagers from the past, and Spider-Man is now an army--Daredevil has remained the same.

So the question is, what's going to happen to ol’ horn head when the rebooting madness finally catches up to him (issue #19)? I mention this because in this issue Mark Waid has thrown another 'wtf' curveball, which he is so famous for here in DAREDEVIL. And this one is so crazy it seems like he's getting ready to put DAREDEVIL to bed forever.

Spoiler time: recently Daredevil has discovered that another blind superhero, The Shroud, is off his rocker and willing to do anything to find his long lost girlfriend, Julia Carpenter (a one-time Spider-Woman). This includes exposing every secret Daredevil had left, like good ol’ Foggy Nelson pretending to be dead while being treated for cancer in seclusion, free from the press and supervillains. The Shroud has the ability to do this since he has kidnapped The Owl and turned him into a human CPU (I'm not quite sure how this all works, but I'm sure Waid has his logic). This forces The Owl's daughter to help The Shroud for her father's freedom. It also puts one of The Owl's main competitors in the squeeze as well--The Kingpin. $hit gets real at an airport, where…well, to quote THE PINK PANTHER STRIKES BACK, “My God…it will be like a shooting gallery.” But the real 'wtf' of the issue is the deal Daredevil is trying to make with The Kingpin (yup). In order to get The Kingpin's well-connected help, protecting Daredevil's friends from the backlash of his secrets, he promises to kill Matt Murdock. Daredevil would live on, under The Kingpin's good graces, but everyone Matt knows would believe him to be dead (have I mentioned 'wtf' enough times now?)

Now, this just seems too much of a game-breaking, even for Waid cleverness. So unless Daredevil is lying, I'm guessing this is how Waid plans to say goodbye to Stan Lee's Daredevil, as someone else will be rebooting The Man Without Fear after SECRET WARS.

The rest of the issue is just as marvelous as any other issue by Waid and Samnee. The simple straightforward storytelling, loaded with clever and refreshing execution in art and script keeps it a must buy book. If any wannabe writer or artist is out there, you should totally be buying this book. Each month Waid shows off how to write a modern comic without falling into the clichéd traps of decompression, boring set-up, or hip and trendy gimmicks that do more harm than good to a story. Meanwhile Samnee shows off how focus and clarity are far more powerful in comic book artwork than splash pages, pointless angles and costume seams with arm veins.

I will totally be riding this one out until the big bang, and you should too.

MYTHIC #2

Writer: Phil Hester
Artist: John McCrea
Publisher: Image Comics
Reviewer: Humphrey Lee

When I was in college a couple buddies and I were the masters of the Chinese buffet. Basically, once a month it was a lock that the weekend would consist of Friday being a drinking night, then Saturday would be, well, drinking night, and then to top it off we would play in a local Magic the Gathering tournament (NERDS!!!) on Sunday with nothing much but leftover 40 packs in our stomachs and gorge ourselves on wonderful, saucy meats and veggies post gaming (just load up the veggies and protein everyone! A little rice is good for soaking up sauces but otherwise it’s just wasting valuable space!) And it was always a wonderful, excessive capper to days that were also excessive for reasons of their own, but they came at a price. Because, even with the proper planning and girding of ones’ appetites, sometimes too much at a time is just too much to handle, no matter how good everything you’re absorbing is as it goes down, and it somewhat sours you on the whole experience. It’s that whole idea of that “this is great except that it’s a bit much” feeling I’ve had after two issues of MYTHIC so far.

Obviously, that reminiscing was just a weird way of me saying that there’s a ton of good things that MYTHIC does as a new title; unfortunately, it does a lot of it and the experience so far has been overwhelming to the point of detraction. To open the pages of this comic is to immediately be inundated with shenanigans of the highest order. You see, MYTHIC is a book about an organization tasked with, let's say, micromanaging primordial forces would I guess be a way to put it. And with Phil Hester and John McCrea being two gentlemen with rather bent senses of humor and a chronic disability that leaves them unable to give any fucks, they immediately put some upper echelon chicanery to the page in very little time. In fact, the debut of MYTHIC leaves us with Team 8 of the Mythic Lore Services in the Western United States tasked with getting some Mountains and the Clouds to manifest forms and knock some magical boots and end a pretty devastating drought. And while this seems like it would be a right complicated task, the team handles it with a tipsy aloofness you’d expect from a sexy British sitcom.

This second issue raises the “what the fuck was that?!?” stakes by throwing us to another Mythic team in the midst of figuring out how they are going to subdue a sea-dwelling giant grown restless until a flaming shadow demon decides to rip his way out of said giant and his multi-story frame. After the Mythic team assigned to the scene finds itself on the tragic end of its netherworld jailbreak, the demon is subdued by…a creepy schoolgirl with a flashlight. Meanwhile as Team 8 is finding its success in having Cloud and Mountain get their nasty on, a process which includes summoning a monster bound to one of its members, they find out that Mythic teams across the globe are running into dire circumstances of their own, we get a very foreboding sequence with the schoolgirl, and that’s a (very exasperated) wrap. If that seems like a lot to you, well, it kind of is, and it’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it is a thing that feels like crammed, much like my college-aged stomach was on those glorious Sundays a not terribly long time ago.

Really, that is my main issue with MYTHIC so far in its infancy, but it is kind of a deal. I absolutely love the “who gives a shit” attitude and the almost sitcom-like atmosphere it presents at times, as well as the goddamn surreal situations presented to us in such a scarce amount of pages thus far, but there has really been no time to get acclimated to anything or anyone yet. Only team newbie Nate has been given a decent amount of screen time to him so far, and that was to kick off the debut issue with a sequence of him in his old life of a cell phone jockey who found himself in a fucked up encounter with some hag beast and awkwardly survived. Other than that glimpse into his past, all we really know about Team #8 is that they love cocktails, overtime, and that their resident shaman, Waterson, has a split aspect with a detachable head and flames that fly out of the fucking neck. Again, it’s early, but with so much going on as is I think I’d rather have gotten a little more familiar with the team and the kind of ancient forces they are dealing with before bathing them in tragedy. As is, I feel like I barely know them and the sympathies I should feel for them given what befell their colleagues is not quite as high as it probably should be outside of a “sucks to be them” notion.

Now, all that said, MYTHIC is pretty great fucking stuff. A lot of great stuff, in fact, overflowingly mashed into just two issues so far, but between the energy, the absurdity, and the originality we’ve seen so far, MYTHIC has all the fixins’ like those magical, sweet and sour sauce-filled buffets of yore; it just can’t help but gorge itself like I myself couldn’t a decade plus ago when I had the metabolism of a meth addict. Concepts like the Mythic Lore Services and groups like it that police something folkloric aren’t exactly common, but have been around enough that you do need to have a unique spin or approach to the niche to stand out, and Hester and McCrea’s method was to just go farcical with the elements, like convincing aspects of nature to do the horizontal polka, and John McCrea’s art is the icing on the damned cake in that regard. His slightly cartoonish take on realistic figures really sells the ridiculousness of what’s going on through its exaggeration. The man has had some of the best comedic timing in comics for decades now, and MYTHIC is no different.

Speaking of crammed, it’s time to put this thing to rest, and I’ll do so by reiterating that despite my tone on the glaring flaw I feel MYTHIC has, I basically believe that as soon as it gives itself a little more room to breathe that it will be doing itself the biggest of favors. Even with the rapid-fire material being thrown our way so far, it is an enjoyable read just because it is such a creative and energetic one, but my investment level is wavering because I feel like there is not much of a tether yet. Big, bizarre happenstances are a good thing, but relationships to those in the middle of all the crazy are a better and MYTHIC could use more development there. Even if it was just more history of the characters besides Nate, especially since he was just our everyman in to the book, meanwhile you have people like Waterson begging to be explored and, while I do like a mystery, I hope we at least see some bits and pieces sooner than later. A little bit more of some human interest - or humanish, anyway, given the nature of some of these characters - to go with the humor and the madness and I think MYTHIC could easily live up to its title.

Humphrey Lee has been an avid comic book reader going on fifteen years now and a contributor to Ain't It Cool comics for quite a few as well. In fact, reading comics is about all he does in his free time and where all the money from his day job wages goes to - funding his comic book habit so he can talk about them to you, our loyal readers (lucky you). He's a bit of a social networking whore, so you can find him all over the Interwebs on sites like Twitter, Facebookand a blog where he also mostly talks about comics with his free time because he hasn't the slightest semblance of a life. Sad but true, and he gladly encourages you to add, read, and comment as you will.

THE SHADOW #100

Writers: Various
Artists: Various
Publisher: Dynamite Entertainment
Reviewer: Masked Man

Boy, Dynamite sure has a mad on for comic book gimmicks these days, first with crossovers, then alternate realities, cross-over events, and now with creative numbering, because their SHADOW comic has been canceled for a while, so this ain’t no legit issue #100. But by adding up every issue and special they did print (probably counting other publishers issues as well), voila, issue #100--with none of the real weight or cool factor of a #100 issue.

Still, here it is, and Dynamite has lined up some nice talent for it. So unlike a lot of their other prestigious issues, is this one worth $7.99? Yes--yes it is.

Now since Dynamite didn't actually have 100 issues of continuity to pull upon for this grand issue, they pretty much let six different creative teams (one who gets the shaft in the credits page) knock out six unrelated eight page short stories, which range from pretty cool to just ok--not one turkey among them (jive or otherwise).

-The first story, by Franceso Francavilla, plays with the fact that Bob Kane borrowed a THE SHADOW story to create Batman's first adventure in DECTECTIVE COMICS #27.

-Next Victor Gischler and Stephen B. Scott create a fun little adventure of The Shadow and his secret identity's life becoming entwined as well as showcasing how he gets along with the police.

-Then Howard Chaykin has fun with the comic book industry, as The Shadow gets involved with the creation of the new medium.

-Michael Uslan and Giovanni Timpano get a little heady as The Shadow gets a bit preachy with the real life Orson Welles, blending in as much Batman and history as Uslan loves to do.

-Chris Roberson and Ivan Rodriguez tell a simple tale of recruitment, as The Shadow brings someone else into his fold of informers and legmen.

Finally, Matt Wagner looks into Lamont Cranston’s life as well, for a fun noir tale that comes across more like an illustrated book than a comic book.

So while some of the short stories maybe stronger than others, all are worthwhile and fun, although I feel if Dynamite could have made this all one grand adventure, weaving the creators in and out, it would be much stronger than six short stories, but I'm sure just getting them to commit to an eight page short story was far simpler.

On the Masked Man's scale of Crap, Poor, Decent, Good, and Great, THE SHADOW #100 scores Good.

THE AUTEUR: SISTER BAMBI #2

Writer: Rick Spears
Artist: James Callahan
Publisher: Oni Press
Reviewer: Lyzard

The best part about the THE AUTEUR series is that there is always some sort of surprise. Perhaps it’s a plot twist you didn’t see coming, a visual so sick or twisted the normal human mind couldn’t possibly conceive of it, or just how outrageous the comic can get with its treatment of taboo subjects without being off-putting. THE AUTEUR: SISTER BAMBI #2 is surprising for its relative tameness.

Don’t be mistaken; there is plenty “wrong” with the second issues of the second run of THE AUTEUR: drug usage, excessive violence, nightmare-inducing imagery. But in comparison to the rest of the series, this issue relies more on cartoonish humor than outrageousness for laughs.

In SISTER BAMBI #2, Rex and his crew arrive at Kapala Island to shoot his exploitation film. While free from those pesky unions and studio executives, Rex still has to put up with his new star/co-producer, Ilsa, who threatens to not only ruin the film but Rex’s relationship with Coconut as well. And while Rex brought plenty of trouble with him, including the bloodthirsty Darwin, the banana republic has its own surprises in store for our film crew.

You’ve got a few scenes featuring the use of cocaine and other recreational drugs, but nothing an R-rated movie couldn’t contain. Darwin’s tussle with nature may never get past any MPAA board, but the scene takes up hardly a chunk of the issue. So what we are left with is a rather reasonable Rex who, as the plot moves forward, evolves into a much more sympathetic character and his relatively tame exploits. Even his conversations with Coconut no longer feature the same sexism and misogyny found in the original series. This isn’t a complaint, just a shock for long-time readers of THE AUTEUR.

But while writer Rick Spears has taken his foot somewhat off the accelerator, artist James Callahan has found new ways to be visually creative. THE AUTEUR has always been post-modern, with a touch of meta here and there. SISTER BAMBI #2 goes nearly full on Looney Tunes with the characters’ interactions with the comic itself, such as their manipulation of the panel layout and speech bubbles for their own service. Callahan always finds a way to create new imagery, and while these tricks may have been used in other comic series, it isn’t a technique yet seen in THE AUTEUR.

I keep coming back to THE AUTEUR for the “wtf” moments. You get the mind expansion without drinking the script witch doctor brew. While THE AUTEUR: SISTER BAMBI #2 doesn’t have the same gut punch of absurdity I’ve come to expect from the series, it finds a way to still leave me shaking my head and mouthing “what the f*ck did I just read?”

TALES OF MR. RHEE VOL 2: KARMAGEDDON

Writer: Dirk Manning
Artist: Seth Damoose
Publisher: Devil’s Due Publishing
Reviewer: The Kid Marvel

This is my follow-up review from two weeks ago of TALES OF MR. RHEE VOLUME 1, with VOLUME 2 being an advance review that I had the pleasure of doing and being able to read prior to release. VOLUME 2: KARMAGEDDON was actually part of a very successful Kickstarter campaign that Manning launched at the beginning of 2015, leading to its release next month in July. So if you like what you hear from the review, be on the lookout for when it becomes available for purchase in the following weeks.

VOLUME 2, unlike VOLUME 1, is a series of stories that connects to an overall arc, rather than the predecessor’s more one shot-like collection of issues. KARMAGEDDON follows Mr. Rhee, as well as five orphans he rescued, across the post-apocalyptic or post-rapture world of TALES OF MR. RHEE. The goal of the main character, Mr. Rhee, is to take these children he promised to protect as their parents’ dying wish to his master’s home. What makes this interesting from the point of a story is that Mr. Rhee’s master, the one who taught him the dark arts and magic in general, is kind of a pretty awful human being. In this volume and the previous one, it’s heavily alluded to the abuses Mr. Rhee had to endure at the hands of his master in order to learn magic. However, he realizes this is probably the safest location to protect these children from in a post-rapture world that is filled with demons, monsters, and the Manning trademark, the old god Cthulhu.

This arc offers a deeper look into the story that Manning has created and the character of Mr. Rhee himself. Mr. Rhee must protect these children, but throughout the series paralleling real life, the flaws of humans or, in this case, these orphans, continually makes protecting them near impossible for the series’ antihero. To explain the level of difficulty these orphans have created is a little bit hard without spoiling some major plot points. To put it simply, Manning doesn’t skimp on character deaths throughout VOLUME 2, but not tasteless death for the sake of killing. Rather, death happens because of choice and action, bringing forth major consequence from the choices his characters have made. The entire volume stays true to the horror genre but caters very heavily to building these characters, as well as letting these characters dictate the plot, meaning, KARMAGEDDON very much follows the writing beat of “this happens, therefore this happens, but then this happens”, rather than “this happens and then this happens”, letting the character tell the story through their actions and choices instead of having plot for the sake of plot and never really allowing the reader to care what is happening.

I am generally not a fan of horror stories, mostly because the ones I’ve read or watched just generally lack plot or anything of deeper value. That said, while Manning calls TALES OF MR. RHEE “noir horror”, minus the plethora of monsters and dark elements it’s hard for me to call this a horror title in the generic sense. The plot is solid, with well thought out and seamless beats from beginning to end. Mr. Rhee is a great character with a twisted background, and has such a pragmatic way of thinking it moves the entire series in such an interesting ways, as well as this pragmatism, or really “survivalist thinking”, not always sitting well with other characters, adding another element of tension to the plot. TALES OF MR. RHEE is just so well thought out and organized, while also lacking the half-naked women that belong in Playboy and unnecessary gore, I just find it hard to categorize the series as typical horror.

Now for TALES OF MR. RHEE VOLUME 2’s artwork, the artist for this volume is actually different than VOLUME 1. For KARMAGEDDON, Seth Damoose is the one covering the illustrations and he seems to stick almost identically to the original. I actually don’t think I would have noticed the changed of artists had I not checked first. This is not a negative, though, and I assume the reason the art styles didn’t change from VOLUME 1 was simply for aesthetic continuity and on purpose. These issues are also fully colored, unlike the black and white I read in VOLUME 1, which really helped to bring various panels to life and fully immerse myself as a reader. No complaints or really anything negative, for me, could be found for the art. I really liked the style of VOLUME 1, and keeping that style on for the second volume was a plus.

Overall, if you didn’t read my review for the first volume of TALES OF MR. RHEE, I love the series and it’ll be an indie I will continue to follow and support as it grows. From plot to the characters, story elements and tone, I thoroughly enjoy what Manning has created in these books. I feel immersed in the story and love the various tropes and homages throughout the issues. The characters are written like real people who have flaws and weaknesses, which pushes the overall arc as a story. This is what you want from a comic: entertainment, solid writing and artwork, as well as a story you want to follow and keeps you interested issue to issue. I highly recommend checking it out once it’s released.

ANNIHILATOR #6

Writer: Grant Morrison
Artist: Frazer Irving
Publisher: Legendary Entertainment
Reviewer: Masked Man

Well, it took a while, but Grant Morrison's mad house prison in space story comes to a close as all is revealed in this final issue. It's pretty much what you'd expect from a classic HEAVY METAL comic with less boobs.

So the creative team that gave us DC Comics’ SEVEN SOLDIERS OF VICTORY: KLARION has jumped into Legendary's “fishing for the next great movie script” comic book company. And while I'm not so sure this is the next great sci fi movie, it is a decent trip for people who enjoy the meta-crazy Morrison likes to get into.

Now, I don't want to spoil everything, because the reveals are what make up the book for the most part. But going into the plot, the main gist is this: severely messed up Hollywood script writer Ray Spass learns he has a brain tumor. Next thing you know Max Nomax, anarchic criminal from another dimension, shows up claiming the tumor is actually a memory pellet containing his memories--memories of his crime, imprisonment, and escape into our reality. So while Max tries to get Ray to burn out the pellet, writing the memories down as a movie script (which would then cure Ray of the 'cancer'), Annihilators from Max's dimension hunt them down, hoping to finally kill the mad genius Max Nomax while Ray is hoping to make up with his ex-girlfriend (couldn't have picked a better time).

So yeah, it's heady, out there and very meta, but all well done, too. If you hate these types of stories, steer well clear of this--it will not change your mind. If you're indifferent, like myself, it will be an interesting read, and Irving's paintings are all very dark and cool to look at. They go quite well with the meta-themes as well, as characters' bodies can contort at times to emphasize their emotions. With a certain degree of faux maturity, with the meta concepts, dark artwork, and debauchery (mental and physical), I can't help but get a very strong HEAVY METAL feel from this book. This would probably blow a 13 year old's mind. And while I confess I can't quite put my finger on it, it also smacks of 70s (pre-STAR WARS) sci fi (again classic HEAVY METAL).

None of the characters, who are all pretty self-important, are very endearing, unless you enjoy the 'fu(k the man and society' attitude of clever and self-righteous Max Nomax, which is why I feel the plot, concepts and reveals are more important to the success of the story than likeable characters.

ANNIHILATOR is fun, bugg-nutz, not too self-important tale. Based on my own personal tastes I'd give it a Decent, but in an effort to be more fair, on the Masked Man's scale of Crap, Poor, Decent, Good and Great, it scores a Good.

THE BATTLEWORLD TRAVEL GUIDE PART V

or
Previously, on Secret Wars…Vampire Jubilee is still a thing. C.S.I. Valhalla is off to a strong start in the fall sweeps. MODOK fought some Sentinels. It was great.

E IS FOR EXTINCTION #1 (Chris Burnham & Ramon Villalobos)

Who’s the worst person in the world to have a Phoenix Egg--besides Cyclops, I mean? Because superweird Grant Morrison-style Magneto – head of the Atom Institute and the X-Men but still dumb enough to throw Herman Glob on the team – has a Phoenix egg. I foresee this going very poorly for very many people. Also, Chris Burnham, you’re having just as much fun as I am with GodKingDoom being a common phrase in this story, aren’t you?

PLANET HULK #2 (Sam Humphries & Marc Laming)

When asked what his long term game plan is, Gladiator Captain America comes to the conclusion that him, Bucky, Hulk, and Devil Dinosaur should just go try to fuck up GodKingDoom, because Gladiator Captain America is great. Also, if you’re of the pretty much everybody who saw JURASSIC WORLD, then you should know that Devil Dinosaur gets into a fight with a Hulk bull in this world.

INFINITY GAUNTLET #2 (Gerry Duggan & Dustin Weaver)

THIS IS A WORLD WHERE THEY’VE DEPUTIZED THE FAMILY DOG WITH THE POWER OF THE NOVA CORPS. Look, I don’t know if it makes up for all the living nightmares that infest this domain, but you should know there is an entire family of Nova Corps with a dog as a squad mate. They get into laser fights with giant bugs. It’s fun for the whole family.

KORVAC SAGA #1 (Dan Abnett & Otto Schmidt)

It’s the early Guardians of the Galaxy serving as Korvac’s personal guard, which…wow. I was not expecting that world to be one of the survivors of the whole Incursion thing. But with madness and talk of some crazy mythical thing called “stars” spreading throughout the realm, be careful around drunks muttering to themselves in public. More so than usual, I mean.

MODOK: ASSASSIN #2 (Christopher Yost & Amilcar Pinna)

This world is so weird, but in a good way from afar, like, really really afar. The Assassin’s Guild is huge and pissed about how much fun MODOK has giving people aneurysms. Thor Cop Angela is pissed because someone straight shot her in the back. MODOK is the most dangerous thing alive, and is just full of useful shit.

AGE OF ULTRON VS MARVEL ZOMBIES #1 (James Robinson & Steve Pugh)

Any hope of the lands beyond the Wall (hehehe) being free of super zombies or killer robots or giant ass fucking bugs, well…this is a world where Hank Pym – not even normal Hank Pym, cowboy Hank Pym – is going to be crucial to saving this forsaken land. It’s an odd world sometimes.

X-MEN ’92 #3 (Chad Bowers & Chris Sims, Scott Koblish)

Oh Cassandra Nova, how I’ve missed your insane amount of pure crazy. In this world Wolverine gets deconstructed and worked over by psychiatry, and Storm screams in her 90s font, because this world knows exactly what it is and loves it.

WHERE MONSTERS DWELL #2 (Garth Ennis & Russ Braun)

Positive things about this zone: 1920s British women and Amazons. Negative things about this zone: Not nearly enough dinosaurs. So, sort of a wash, all things considered.

BATTLE-WORLD TRAVEL TIP: Be mindful of telepaths *snare drum*. But seriously, watch out for telepaths. Cassandra Nova alone is 18005 crazy and she would like nothing more than to make you brain-dead and hugging mid-90s no-nose bandana Wolverine. Truly, truly despicable!

Editing, compiling, imaging, coding, logos & cat-wrangling by Ambush Bug
Proofs, co-edits & common sense provided by Sleazy G
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AICN COMICS Reviews: DAREDEVIL! CAPTAIN CANUCK! BOB’S BURGERS! Grant Morrison’s ANNIHILATOR! & More!