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Published on Friday, October 6, 2000 - 8:27am |
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HERC Examines The Debut Of CSI!!
Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
I've had some letters from people now that they've seen Hercules, some of them surprised that he doesn't appear to be at his physical peak. I would remind those people of how old Herc is (he makes me look like a spring chicken) and that he possesses powers far beyond those of mortal man. Besides, all he does is watch TV. He doesn't have to be built like freakin' Ferrigno. Make fun of him at your own risk, people. I've seen the damage this man can do to a green apple martini from Lola's. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION FAQ 1.1
WHAT IS CSI?
The first network series from Jerry Bruckheimer, the
insanely successful film producer behind movies like
“Armageddon,” “Gone in 60 Seconds,” “Coyote Ugly” and
“Remember the Titans.” It airs 9 p.m. Fridays on CBS
beginning tonight.
WHAT’S IT ABOUT?
A half-dozen very attractive young men and women
working the graveyard shift of the Las Vegas police’s
Criminalistics Dept., a crack squad of crime scene
investigators charged with solving crimes by
scrutinizing fingerprints, bullet wounds, hair
follicles, toenail clippings and the like. The show’s
point of view is nicely crystallized by a line from
Marg Helgenberger’s character, who loves her job:
“We’re just a bunch of kids who are getting paid to
work on puzzles.”
DID YOU LIKE IT?
I kinda did!
WHY?
It’s different. It kept surprising me. I think my
first clue that this was no ordinary crime drama came
with an early line about a white suspect from one of
the show’s black investigators,: “Oh, he’s lying.
That’s why I took this job, I can always tell when
whitey’s lying out of his ass.” As far as I know,
none of the regulars on “Law & Order” ever say
ANYTHING LIKE that. Later on, while visiting a judge
at home in an effort to obtain a warrant, the same
character is held at gunpoint: cops were called after
neighbors reported a black man in the judge’s
neighborhood. When the cops tell the investigator to
drop to his knees, he refuses – at risk of his own
life. “I’m not getting down on my knees for anybody.
You can shoot me.”
SO THE CHARACTERS ARE DIFFERENT?
Yes, the investigators are mostly young, nerdy
obsessed types. As centrifuges whir, they discuss
“Exorcist” dialogue and the merits of“NFL2K” for
Dreamcast. One grows to share their enthusiasm for
the nuts and bolts of criminal science.
WHO WROTE THE PILOT?
Anthony E. Zuiker, a newcomer who came up with the
idea four years ago while he was driving a tram for
the Mirage. But, for a change, the show’s uniqueness
doesn’t stem entirely from the writing. There are
smash-zooms into strands of hair. Cameras also plunge
into bodies through bullet wounds, “Three
Kings”-style.
WHO DIRECTED THE PILOT?
Danny Cannon, exhibiting a good deal more restraint
and charm than he did on big-screen projects like “I
Still Know What You Did Last Summer” and “Judge
Dredd.”
YOUR RATING FOR “CSI,” HERC?
**1/2
The Hercules T. Strong Rating System:
**** better than most motion pictures
*** actually worth your valuable time
** as horrible as most stuff on TV
* makes you quietly pray for bulletins
I warn you not to scrutinize me under a microscope!
I am – Hercules!

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Reader Talkback
I'll give it a shot by jj5150 | Oct 6th, 2000 08:41:01 AM | William Peterson by Seabird | Oct 6th, 2000 09:02:22 AM | What the fuck!? by Toe Jam | Oct 6th, 2000 12:08:15 PM | Premise not that unique;
anybody remember UNSUB w/
David Soul ba by BlackBanana | Oct 6th, 2000 06:24:38 PM | The premiere by JTylor | Oct 6th, 2000 09:07:38 PM | the pilot by tallboy | Oct 6th, 2000 10:02:32 PM | Thanks BlackBanana! by Barrymore | Oct 7th, 2000 12:32:40 AM | Toe Jam(spoilers)... by Wungolioth | Oct 7th, 2000 09:06:05 AM | Dialogue question by The Garbage Man | Oct 7th, 2000 01:18:19 PM | Warrick Brown, the rookie, and
the future *spoilers* by _Charon- | Oct 8th, 2000 11:33:57 PM | Answers, Questions by the monk | Oct 9th, 2000 08:25:44 PM |
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