(Click title to go directly to the review)
THE BLACK VORTEX: ALPHA#1
NAMELESS #1
AFTERLIFE WITH ARCHIE MAGAZINE #4
Indie Jones presents LADY MECHANIKA Collected Edition #0-1
POSTAL #1
SUPERMAN: EARTH ONE Volume 3
THE BLACK VORTEX: ALPHA#1
Writer: Sam HumphriesArtist: Ed McGuinness (helped by Kris Anka)
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Reviewer: Masked Man
Here we go again, members of the Mighty Marvel Marching Society: more crossover fun with the X-Men, this time with the Guardians of the Galaxy. I swear, Marvel can't seem to go two months without a crossover, as this will end just in time for THE SECRET WARS. But it's all your fault for constantly buying them, so here ya go. For this tale, we got the basic monkey's paw device (read a book people) the Black Vortex, which increases a person's abilities, and it's up to our heroes to keep it out of the wrong hands.
To start off with, I feel like I'm missing an issue or two here. Humphries has a quasi set-up issue here, but in his need to get to the action he glossed over too many points, like: How did Mr. Knife get the Black Vortex, how did the young X-Men and Illyana get wrapped up in the story before it started, how did Thane hook up with Mr. Knife, How did Kitty Pryde and Star Lord start their assault on Mr. Knife's place—wait, Kitty Pryde and Star Lord are dating (how, why, and isn't she too young?), and how do the Guardians and the X-Men all know each other so well? I suppose or assume there might be some issues leading up to THE BLACK VORTEX ALPHA #1, but none of the three editors mention any back issues to read, so I guess there's nothing to more to read--or buy! Anyway, Humphries throws out enough info to give you character names (all 24 of them) and the reason they are all going to fight--which they then do.
Getting more into the spoilers: First off, Mr. Knife has the Black Vortex, which was created by a Celestial (apparently to fv(k with people, as the flash back shows it destroying a world), and is using it to make super-thugs for his army, including Thanos' son Thane. Kitty Pryde and Star Lord manage to steal the Black Vortex, then contact the X-Men and the Guardians of the Galaxy to discuss what to do next--which is apparently them all lining up to use it. And here I thought the point was not to abuse this thing! Getting a doomsday vision, Storm is the only one who thinks it would be a bad idea to use it (at least someone remembers why we are all here), though this worries me that we are going to get a retread of the Phoenix Five from A VS X (please no). Well, before they can, the bad guys arrive and a fight ensues, yet before the issue concludes Gamora uses the the Black Vortex! Oddly enough, it just kinda returns her to her bad@$$ self before Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning's rather dull makeover. Unfortunately, all this rushed half-baked setup reminds me of the last big X-Men crossover, BATTLE OF THE ATOM, which turned out to be pointless and useless.
To be fair, this is a fine concept: a battle over a fabulous object that might destroy the universe or some such. Toss in a bunch of cool villains and more popular superheroes than you can shake a stick at; sounds like it can't miss. Then get the mighty Ed McGuinness to draw the first issue, so it all looks great (Anka's pages are good enough—hey, they are side by side with McGuinness's) but I'm more deflated than elated. The tone of the comic doesn't sit well with me either. It's another “life is laugh, aren't we so funny because we are always arguing” comic. Check out the Guardians: they have game night and are playing D&D--Drax says he's going to kill the DM on his turn! My gosh, it's all so charming and fun! Eh, no--it's really not. It just wants to be very badly. Characters can be silly because people are often silly. So if you write characters to be people, they will be silly at times, and you will get a fun book. If you write characters to be silly, then all you have is a silly book (and not in a good way).
As the story now moves into six different series, with six or so different writers and artists, it will surely be a grab bag. Some issues will probably be great, but I doubt we'll be able to say that for the whole thing. If you like silly, pointless team-ups, or anything with a mutant or Guardian in it, you'll probably dig this (which is fine; I'm not here to tell you what to like, just to give you a critical eye as to why things may or may not work). To anyone else I say enter at your own risk, because this trip will cost you $45 bucks.
NAMELESS #1
Writer: Grant MorrisonArtist: Chris Burnham
Publisher: Image Comics
Reviewer: Humphrey Lee
Grant Morrison. Scot. Bald. Packing heat in the dickular area, apparently, as shown in his tidy whitey photo shoot from like two decades back. I’m naming these things off because, well, honestly I’m just kind of tired of getting right to the standard Grant Morrison disclaimers about the sort of Jekyll and Hyde dichotomy of his work. You know how it goes. Sometimes he’s unbelievably brilliant and makes the best comic books out there! Sometimes he makes things with its figurative head up its figurative ass (or does the ass represent something else, like TRUTH and FREE WILL!??!). It’s just tired and a Mobius strip of round and round debate about “you just don’t get it!” or if there is even sense to be made in the madness and on and on to the point where I would rather talk about what he keeps in his knickers than go down that rabbit hole again…
…Fuck, we’re going to have to do this again, aren’t we?…
Okay, here’s the “facts” (quotations because, y’know, you can never be too sure in this territory) about NAMELESS: The “Nameless” in question here is actually our main character as he has purposefully left his name to the wind because of his occupation, which essentially is that of a Dream Thief. After that, everything is fair game because Grant Morrison. I guess there is another undeniable fact at play here, and it’s that NAMELESS moves at a hell of a speed. We start with an odd yet simple symbol – a sort of squared out figure eight with a line down its center – and complete blood and mayhem foreshadowing some evil to come. From there it’s just complete mad bastardry as we get introduced to our Protagonist Without a Name doing his damnedest to steal himself an exotic-looking key and finding himself rebuffed by some humanoids with anglerfish heads and machine guns. This finds him in the grasp of The Veiled Lady, who has a larva growing on her face, and then he escapes just to be recaptured on a bus and then unceremoniously dropped into the cold, cold ocean to drown. Fortunately he is rescued from a watery grave, but it is to find out that the world is a little more than a month away from having a rather large asteroid (that is adorned with that same figure eight as before) smash right into it like Marshawn Lynch would have at the end zone for a Super Bowl winning Touchdown if only Pete Carroll wasn’t A BIG DUMB STUPID HEAD AND RAN THE GODDAMN BALL!!!
Sorry to bring up sports in a column about comics (which may even be more out of place than bringing up some white dude’s schlong) but I’m still kind of dumbfounded about that boneheaded play call.
I designed that as a mini-segue though, because I have to admit, for a comic written by a man with a penchant for needless complexity in his material and dealing with dream manifestations, NAMELESS is surprisingly straightforward. Oh it’s shifting landscapes and jump cuts are unnecessarily muddy, outside of just to ramp up the weirdness factor and to show to take nothing for granted (oh the punning!) in this book, but we knew that just from the credits. But the actual flow of the book, while a little obfuscated, is relatively simple. We open with a spreading madness, we move to a man who seems to be mad to be in the line of work he is, and we move onto a cliffhanger/setup of a strangely marked celestial body on its way to decimate us all and drive us crazy as it nears, unless Nameless and some other enigmatic figures can stop the thing. It took more than one read for me to somewhat nail everything about this opener down – which is fine because I like a challenge in my comics and that’s why I continue to try Morrison books despite finding some of his material overwrought – but considering how heady the Mad Scot could have designed this issue, how it turned out is a welcome surprise.
That is really the rub when it comes to these Morrisonian projects. You want the man to play at another level because when he does he redefines genres within the medium, and the best examples of that are the ones where he bends those conventions but does not shatter them under the weight of overflowing brain droppings. You want to get your keys made of dwarf star material a la ALL STAR SUPERMAN or you want the “What the shit” exclamation that comes with Animal Man meeting his writer, but eventually you come across an INVISIBLES Series Three where there’s a Wicker Man and a white button and there’s things and stuff and, oh god, there are not enough psychotropics in the world for me to understand Morrison’s brand of existentialism at times. With that in mind, that NAMELESS so far has essentially turned out be a story about a one-man “Inception” meets Michael Bay’s “Armageddon” with some hints at ancient mysticism via the asteroid’s name happening to be Xibalba, then I think we can have some positive feelings about what Morrison we are getting here, for the time being at least.
Now, I feel bad that this has dissolved into a Morrisonfest because there is another part of this team, and his pencils bring a lot of the crazy to life in a very inviting manner. Burnham’s work is very moody and vibrant and wonderfully expresses yet grounds the manic overtones of this debut. Considering how abstractly the concepts being played with here could be expressed, Burnham instead makes everything relatively playful and the book progresses in its plot points admirably for his efforts. And that’s the overall rub of NAMELESS in its first outing: that it is playing with heady material, but the emphasis is on “playing” so far. I have no doubt that things are going to get deeper and stranger, but if NAMELESS the book and Nameless the character can continue to keep their heads above water, there seems to be a largely enjoyable high adventure that smacks of the surreal story here. Or it could all go to shit, and we can all have the “do I just not get this or is he really mad” debate all over again. Regardless, this first issue of NAMELESS showed me enough to name it amusing and engaging and full of potential until it proves otherwise. I know you have it in you, you maddening yet charismatic bald bastard (and plucky co-creator), I know you do.
Humphrey Lee has been an avid comic book reader going on fifteen years now and a contributor to Ain't It Cool comics for quite a few as well. In fact, reading comics is about all he does in his free time and where all the money from his day job wages goes to - funding his comic book habit so he can talk about them to you, our loyal readers (lucky you). He's a bit of a social networking whore, so you can find him all over the Interwebs on sites like Twitter, Facebookand a blog where he also mostly talks about comics with his free time because he hasn't the slightest semblance of a life. Sad but true, and he gladly encourages you to add, read, and comment as you will.
AFTERLIFE WITH ARCHIE MAGAZINE #4
Writer: Roberto Aguirre-SacasaArt: Francesco Francavilla
Publisher: Archie Comics
Reviewer: Morbidlyobesefleshdevouringcat
As someone who grew up reading Archie comics, AFTER LIFE WITH ARCHIE is difficult to recommend to fans, not because it’s poorly executed or wrought with cheesy horror cliches, but because AFTER LIFE is the exact opposite of that. It’s a clever and distinctly crisp comic continuing the personas exuded by the original cast without turning the plot and dialogue into an awkward campy attempt at the horror genre. The art isn’t laden with gore or guts or decapitated heads, but instead is reminiscent of a 50s horror film, wrought with dark hallways and immense shadows to invoke suspense. But the real horror here stems from watching childhood characters, who were only portrayed as typical teenagers going to school and having silly adventures, turn into zombies and ultimately watch as they have to kill each other off. It’s downright disturbing.
After reading AFTER LIFE, you will experience two things. One: everything you remember and loved/hated about Archie, either as a character or as a whole will be completely altered forever. Two: your heart will break. Picking up from Archie’s ‘escape’ from the safety of the Lodge Manor, this issue is far heavier in emotional weight. In an attempt to check up on his parents, Archie ends up back at his house, but finds there Jughead’s zombified canine Hot Dog.
Now, I want to say that this is where the gut wrenches begin, but if you’ve already read previous issues you know that it’s not. Introducing each issue is a splash page foreshadowing an event that will occur in the pages subsequently, getting you worked up before anything even happens.
The fourth issue of AFTER LIFE WITH ARCHIE plunges through a slew of heartbreak, mostly through use of flashbacks. During Archie’s run-in with Hot Dog, Archie’s own beloved side kick Vegas jumps in. Before all of the action ensues, we’re brought to the introduction of Archie and Vegas. Sincere and innocent, it’s difficult to stomach seeing Archie as a child taking care of Vegas when he’s sick or playing together in the park to all of a sudden watching Vegas being mauled by a zombie dog. The art during this scene, as difficult as it may seem, is completely mesmerizing: the close-ups to Archie’s face as he screams, only parts of eyes and mouth peeking through the panel as his hand inches slowly up to his face, and then the final moments when Vegas is urging Archie to run while there is still time before Vegas himself turns into a zombie, the caption “live Archiemaster. LIVE.”
Move further into the story, and you get to go through those feelings all over again when Archie runs into his zombie father, and then of course get to watch Archie beat him down with a bat. As these scenes progress, you watch the teen struggle to do what he’s about to do, but goes through with it anyway because of survival instinct, and all this time you wonder what must be going through his head. We know him as this womanizer with two girlfriends; of course they keep that going in the previous issues of this series, but to suddenly watch him have to endure some incredibly heavy action is heartbreaking, and sort of surreal--similar to watching a child grow up. It’s still so strange, which in all honesty just adds to the horror rather than taking away from it.
Regardless of if you grew up with Archie and his weird quirky friends, AFTER LIFE is sure to keep you entertained. It’s a genuine narrative, expertly written with art that both completes and heightens the overall comic. Just remember: most definitely not for all ages.
LADY MECHANIKA COLLECTED EDITION #0-1
Writer / Artist: Joe BenitezPublisher: Benitez Productions
Reviewer: Masked Man
So how has it come to pass that I'm reviewing a comicbook(s) that is over four years old? Well, that's artistic endeavors for ya. As someone who wrote, drew, colored and letter their own six issue limited series (CINDY LI: THREE OF A KIND) (Ok, I just plugged something- but I'm making a point too), I can tell ya making your own comic book is a LOT of work, so it's not too surprising to see creators have difficulty getting books out when they go it alone, especially for Benitez as Aspen is no longer helping out, although I'm sure you could question their 'help', since he's no longer with them. Either way, Benitez is getting LADY MECHANIKA back on track starting off with reprints of the first four issues, now collected in two volumes, #0&1 and #2&3. Then on the 18th issue #4, the first new material released in years. Seemed like a good time to jump on board, as you are basically getting two issues for the price of one here. And, as they say, if you haven't read it, it's new to you.
For those of you who don't know Joe Benitez, he's a fairly successful comic book artist who's worked for Top Cow, WildStorm, Aspen, plus a little DC work. While he's not a star, he is a bit of a fan fave, having what people used to call an 'Image' art style. And like any right-thinking person in the industry, he knows you can't trust your future to the big publishers. Ya gotta create your own IP (intellectual property): Enter Lady Mechanika.
In these first two issues (collected in one volume here), Benitez does a respectable job of telling an adventure tale. He sets up a typical cyberpunk character with a mysterious past, even to her, and the typical “we'll do anything for a buck” adventuring lifestyle for the hero. Add the comic relief sidekick (a la Jonathan from the current Mummy movies) and the evil corporate bad guy, loaded with money and power. The villain, of course, wants to use the main character’s secrets for his own personal gain. Benitez then wraps it all up in a big steampunk bow. Nothing we haven't seen before (well, maybe not with the steampunk angle), but as I said, Benitez does a respectable job of it, so nothing comes across as irritating or overly clichéd. Having spent my college years immersed in anime, I can see heavy anime influences to LADY MECHANIKA (seems like a majority of anime heroes run 'we'll do anything for a buck' companies, like in COWBOY BEBOP) as well. The only thing missing is having Lady Mechanika question her own humanity (God, I hate that story line, damn happy he's not doing it).
Artwork-wise you got nothing to complain about. That's Benitez’ bread and butter. It does get a little weak at times, but that's only because the bulk of it is stellar work, especially if you are a steampunk fan (which I'm really not, but I don't hate it either). When Benitez works a page, he really works a page! Tons of Victorian and techno details- ruffles, gears and patterns everywhere, not to mention hot women. Mind you, I think Benitez does a great job drawing sexy attractive women who don't look like sex objects. He knows that women don't have to be bent over all the time to look hot (if only every comic book artist would realize this). Yet as I mentioned earlier, drawing all these highly detailed panels is frick'n time consuming, so I was amused (and understanding) when I heard Benitez was bring in the ye old background artist for future issues to help him keep the series on track.
LADY MECHANIKA should please any adventure lover (not to mention any steampunk fan!). I look forward to catching up with issues #2&3 this week and seeing how it processes into the future with issue #4.
POSTAL #1
Writer: Bryan Hill & Matt HawkinsArt: Isaac Goodhart
Publisher: Image Comics
Reviewer: Frida Gurewitz
Initially I thought POSTAL was going to be a zombie comic but after reading it, it seems to be more akin to TWIN PEAKS than THE WALKING DEAD. I’m pleased with it. With TWIN PEAKS' resurgence in popularity and renewed season, POSTAL is bound to do well. It’s a very traditional mystery as well as being very spooky. I’m not really a Biblical person though I know this and that about religion. It’s impossible to live in this world without knowing at least a little. I know enough to notice the biblical themes in POSTAL. The cover on the issue I bought referenced Michelangelo’s Pieta, for goodness sake. Surprisingly, I didn’t hate it. It’s not biblical in the sense of idealism. It highlights the strange cultish nature of religion. The murder mystery set in a biblically focused small town feels very real which is what makes it the most terrifying.
POSTAL’s writing is done by Bryan Hill and Matt Hawkins. This issue mainly deals with Mark Shiffer and him solving the mystery of the red mud on Daniel Messursmiths tire. POSTAL doesn’t introduce the main mystery of the series until the end of the issue (and I won’t give it away). The main character Mark Shiffer, is not a P.I much less any kind of detective. He’s actually a man with Aspergers Syndrome. The way he’s written is sparse and nonsensical. I think it’s important that Mark is not a stereotypical person with Aspergers. It actually makes his motivation for his action and the way he approaches situations more interesting. The way Hill and Hawkins have written Mark reflects more of a traditional mystery novel rather than the traditional comic. There’s a distinct difference between the dialogue and Marks thoughts that serve as the narration. There is a distinct lack of exposition rather we are focused on Marks point of view. It suits the mystery perspective. However, there are moments when Hill and Hawkins switch from Marks thoughts and point of view to something he obviously wouldn’t see. It’s kind of confusing. If you’re going to use the focused third person point of view, stay focused. If the main person can’t see it, don’t show it. It doesn’t make any sense. Besides that, the writing is well done. It’s spooky in its almost grotesque realism.
To be honest, the art is not particularly extraordinary. Though it’s sparse and dynamic, it doesn’t blow my mind. It’s not bad either. Isaac Goodhart's art works well with the protagonist Marks thought process. By working with close ups and point of view panels, it really enhances the suspense in Hill and Hawkins writing. I didn’t really focus on the art as much as I was drawn into the story. This could be a good thing or a bad thing. I’m not entirely sure yet.
The comic overall felt more like an illustrated novel than a traditional comic. Personally, I dug it. I think it was cool, dark, and super modern. The use of a distinct voice is what really sets this piece apart from the norm and champions the character. POSTAL feels literary. And for that, I dig it. It’s a good read.
SUPERMAN: EARTH ONE VOLUME 3
Writer: J. Michael StraczynskiArtist: Adrian Syaf
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewer: Optimous Douche (Rob Patey by birth and stuff)
For fast feasters who want the slugline before any deep dives into Earth 1’s grander scheme in the DCU New 52 (or I guess now Fetal Forty-Nine?):
“While the loss of Shane Davis for the more “grounded” (ZING) Syaf’s pencil of realism over hyperrealism, it’s an exact match of tonality for the plot of Straczynski’s third foray into the hardbound full-arc world of Earth One.”
About a year after the close of Volume 2 (comic time), Clark is still:
• Career-setting with the shit hours and anemic salary of a cub reporter
• Juggling jealousy of the twenty-something love triangle with Lois and himself in under armor
• Desperately seeking to dull his Kryptonian awesome so humanity isn’t a foreign species
• The object of affliction for Team Luthor (now man and wife instead of traditional bro and sis).
• These were the good villains this time, the ones driving sense, reason and pragmatic world mechanics I need to make the entire landscape worth abandoning my aesthetic distance. Their love is hawt, their genius total science fiction bullshit plausible (only Neil Tyson would get assed up), and their motivation for going after Supes appropriately new age sociopath-induced. It’s a shame we end the book with only one half standing. Pretty baller, though, it was the one I wanted to see more of in VOLUME 4. After all, the female of the species is more deadly than the male, said Rudyard Kipling, lead singer of the one hit wonder group “Space.”
New threats come with:
• Zod. Not a fan here. I will admit I am suffering from Wilfred Brimley levels of home delivery insulin for Zodabetes thanks to all the damn resets over the past decade. He’s bad, he always will be bad, for fuck’s sake why, Zod, why are you such a perpetual story boomerang. Outside of Terrence Stamp chewing the scenery in pleather parachute pants I have always been tepid to the oneness of him. JMS sweetens the well to deliver my #2 favorite rendition of this 2-D staple by making him an active participant in the Earth One deliberate destruction of Krypton versus the standard natural disaster. Zod was basically in bed with Tyrel. Joe wrapped it in pretty prose, but given my girlish squeals towards Team Luthor, Zod can Zod off.
• World government cabal. Good call on taking a tip from New 52 Earth 2 on the inception of this pragmatic approach to governance with a populace that can cross borders literally by jumping. From the bible to Star Trek, global unity will present itself when there is a sentient species different from us beyond skin color or proclivity towards hummus, weed, absinthe, communion wine or abstinence. A species gots to hate and Superman is a realistic target.
It was a good idea to have this new G7 mancave built in the UN, a great idea with true continuity reverence to have the Luthors weaponize Tyrel’s tractor beam to find the dampening effects of red light on Supes, and it was hella hot when the suggestions of three ways started getting thrown around.
Only their acceptance of Zod when he offers a team up made me lose respect. I really think he was an editorial force with the way the IQ points plummeted at the blind acceptance of an offer to side with a devil you don’t know versus a clearly powerful but innocent fresh doe. Yeah, Supes trashed Metropolis in VOL. 1, but he was also grabbing kittens from trees and other good deeds soon after.
• I like Lisa, I really do. It’s awesome Clark found the Pretty Woman who is more attractive and less grating than Julia Roberts in every way. I don’t like them crossing past the friend zone, though; as a couple I am bothered. I can live with the slow burn Lois inevitability. I totally dig Rumspringa; ask my parents about me taking the 90s to ‘matriculate” college. I…swear…I am not a prude. I think the hooker angle is too much, though, I really do; it’s an unnecessarily distracting extreme. I don’t care about a distraction from Lois, but I don’t believe Lisa is going to cause any romantic danger. Also, she’s not bright. Sweet, but not even bright enough to be a viable distraction until Clark is ready to be Mr. Lane.
• Sorry, I just can’t imagine a world where I could sit there and hear my significant other blowing a guy for rent and not feel inadequate over the fact I may not be tipping as much as he does.
Notice my ordering there? My narcissism always puts random orders in the control of what resonates and affects me most. I played slapsies above and bitch slapsies with my actual review of “grounded” in SUPERMAN pre-52, but I respected elements of that story. There was a personal nature towards the maturation of Clark as a man that has not been felt since. EARTH ONE to me feels like what JMS truly wanted to achieve with that series. I will always say fault lay with editorial in that far back land when dive bombs like “Hey Joe, can you have Supes skip over to Max Lord’s secret lair to pick up Ted Cord’s brain and then do a vertical lift up to the Tower for a very special bedtime story about how Sue Dibney was whacked because Dr. Light perpetrated a crime of unspeakable assault on the soul” could make it a little hard to tell a personal tale that wasn’t trying to bask in PR sensationalism.
I meander and belabor history because I know JMS cares about this craft, and really any fan of Superman or DC has all they need with the concept of EARTH ONE: A-Listers running free. Quality is assured, and if you have a modicum of fandom for the creators, the characters and/or faithful and clever refreshing of nostalgia, any EARTH ONE title is a no brainer on a solitary read level--light commitment so that the friend or co-worker who always goes “wellll, I loved comics, but there’s so many, I don’t know where to start, my co-worker sits next to me and mumbles all day about mobile security and how his email box keeps flooding with poorly formatted emails every Tuesday at 4PM heralding marginal comic news for the next day…” Fine, parts of that are the poor data dude who sits near me, but any casual naysaying on commitment or confusion of continuity can be bludgeoned with EARTH ONE’s thick binding. SUPERMAN, like BATMAN and TEEN TITANS, also pays no lip service to its universal counterparts, so grab a Bat, Cape or Titan and don’t worry about missing any vital beats for cross-sell performance objectives to feed larger KPIs.Now let’s talk about EARTH ONE and CONVERGENCE! Actually, let’s not, because it doesn’t fucking matter. I wrote this review in poor format a week ago before the fluttering forty-nine news hit the stands.
For posterity, here was my wish up until three days ago:
“If you didn’t read MULTIVERSITY GUIDE BOOK, go now. CONVERGENCE, I believe, will bring forth a world of 52 comics wherein the New 52 merely exists as the larger whole. EARTH ONE, for the correlation challenged, will be another sliver. Insert etc. here for likewise on Capt. Carrot, tiny robot corpse toons, Batman Beyond and the Nazis triumphant universes.
We have all been led to believe a “sort of” lie in that the New 52’s mentally handicapped heroes were supposed to be granted the closest parking spot as main continuity because they are what being reborn a hero is all about. I can now appreciate its existence, as the guidebook describes it for heroes in their prime, but not beyond the definition of puberty. Sorry, but there are no fine lines between inexperience and incompetence. Awakening does not absolve being an asshole. Danger from within is sometimes more palpable than from galactic Giants. Also, get your upsells to trades, cartoons, movies and paying the salaries for unimaginative minds in WB Frog Tuxes to gobble market demographic reporting out of my comic universe, damn it.
I’ve known these “truths” for awhile now because I read a fuckton of comics and I work in marketing (the devil’s second favorite profession behind my second career choice of lawyer). Your lexicons to this revelation have been laid before you. There has been a multi-demographic play at multiple wallets since “Batman Beyond” told kids to come back; we have a world where BATMAN’s back got better and Superman is not in an extended coma. Yay, some more revenue until Superman wakes up and the rest of the world thinks we don’t know the definition of dead…kind of like a child…kind of like the rest of world sees comic books.”
So now that all of my ideas for a universe shit the bed, here is how I choose to grapple with reality moving forward.
I don’t hate the New 52, but it is an arid play at introducing superheroics when held against the weightiness afforded Earth One titles because of instant arc gratification and being able to deliver whenever your artistic big guns damn well say it has reached perfection (and puny editors actually can cower in fear without loss of share holder value). SUPERMAN, BATMAN and TEEN TITANS are all true awakenings and we can grow with them in real time as I once did with Kevin Arnold on “The Wonder Years”. Earth One can pace slow burn because it is not the testing ground for the best selling monthly<Trade<Cartoon
Finally, with CONVERGENCE and now Marvel awakening to the continuity conundrum of forever people, we are blatantly being told instead of absolute certainty of pivotal numbered issue consequence, “just go pick a fucking continuity and we’ll fill it with titles based on eeny-meenie-miney-mo of gun shy retail preview picks based on zero information unless you buy into a value-add marketing program with the distributor (I’ll write a separate post on that cardboard newsstand revenue tie to premium order placement and ultimate sales--let me know if you want to hear it).Well, maybe Marvel will be safe since this is their first time letting the universe asshole completely prolapse before trying to shove it back in. The first repack is usually factory seal fresh, like CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS. It gets looser with each repack, though, and slips out more quickly and more often when abused. See how quickly we needed to have a CONVERGENCE tuck after the FLASHPOINT PROLAPSE. In 20 years Marvel too will just tell you to go read this new Earth 617 where X-Men now wheel chair race at the Xavier 55+ Community for Broke Ass Mutants.
Sorry for the rambling, but please see we are not only seeing story shifts; we are seeing a dynamic sales shift affecting stories. The EARTH ONE in description in the guidebook is some nebulous shit about a newly forming earth that will cool with heroes who are new. In my mind this means they are amoebas waiting to become a multicellular organism…excuse me…a SUPER-multicellular organism…or it’s a world where every time Superman evolves Vandal Savage has already evolved and merely urinates in the life pool and keeps it all FOREVS EVIL with issue after issue of drinking and then eviling with his golden weapon of PH level imbalance.
Let’s remember simpler times in this new a la carte world before us instead of wishing for a one all-universe continuity that we can’t ever have again and probably wouldn’t want anyway. Pick the titles and sub-universes that make you smile and avoid the ones that don’t. BATMAN supports the JUSTICE LEAGUE stories these days. BATMAN ETERNAL gives you all Gotham all the time like we had back in the days of Wolfman. Stop lamenting the past and lets embrace the shelves wisely together to keep the chaff and toy marketing away from the wheat of our comic books.
When Optimous isn't reviewing comics he is making the IT words chortle and groan with marketing for MaaS360, enterprise mobility management www.maas360.com. He also has a comic coming out sometime soon, for updates head to robpatey.com.
Proofs, co-edits & common sense provided by Sleazy G
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