Jeremy here…
Former SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE writer Alan Zweibel likes to tell a story about the time television legend Milton Berle - who was famously well-endowed below the waist - hosted the show, and… well, here's the tale in Zweibel's words via LIVE FROM NEW YORK, by Tom Shales and James Andrew Miller:
[Milton Berle's] sitting on a couch behind a coffee table and he's wearing a very short kind of bathrobe, the kind that comes down to about midthigh. And somehow I just say to him, "You know, it's so weird that I'm here talking to you, because for years I was writing jokes about your dick." I said, "I wrote all these jokes about your cock and now I'm talking to you - I feel like there's some violation or something here."
He says to me: "You mean you never saw it?" I said, "Uh, no, I don't believe I did." Then he said, "Well, would you like to?" And before I had the chance to say, "Not really" or "Can I think about it?" or whatever, he parts his bathrobe and he just takes out this - this anaconda. He lays it on the table and I'm looking into the thing, right? I'm looking into the head of Milton Berle's dick. It was enormous. It was like a pepperoni. And he goes, "What do you think of the boy?" And I'm looking right at it and I go, "Oh, it's really, really nice."
This is, in essence, what Marvel Studios did today at the El Capitan theater in Hollywood. Kevin Feige, Marvel's president of production, calmly walked out on stage and let a packed house of journalists and fans look deep into the company's hefty schlong. And what did they think of "the boy"?
#MarvelEvent Phase 3. pic.twitter.com/1ck2n2KTvq
— Jeremy Smith (@mrbeaks) October 28, 2014
It looks really, really nice.
Marvel's dick-swinging confidence is well-earned (to the tune of $9 billion in worldwide grosses), and they've built their big-screen superhero empire without the benefit of arguably the three most popular/important characters in the Marvel Universe: Spider-Man, the Fantastic Four and the X-Men. It has been a triumph of unconventional casting, very conventional writing and, most of all, skillful development. And while a lot of people - e.g. Jon Favreau, Robert Downey Jr. and Joss Whedon - deserve individual credit for exploding the potential of these properties, the corporate/creative visionaries primarily responsible for this run are Feige and Marvel's "Creative Committee". They're the ones who rolled the dice on the Phase 1 "Avengers Initiative", and they're now nearing the conclusion of Phase 2 with THE AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON (May 1, 2015) and ANT-MAN (July 17, 2015). Once that chapter closes, it's on to Phase 3 - and that's where the madness starts.
I want you to take a long, close look at the above image. Those proportions are correct. Nine films over four years, culminating in a two-part AVENGERS spectacular titled INFINITY WAR that will involve damn near everyone in the Marvel movie universe - including the Guardians of the Galaxy. In terms of brand expansion, I've never seen a called shot of this magnitude; Marvel's gambling that you'll be just as crazy about their movies in 2019 as you are now. That it's really not a gamble is what blows my mind: they've gone seven years without a major commercial misstep, and there's no reason to believe they'll screw up in the near future. Judging from the fan reaction in the theater and on social media (and these announcements came at an unexpectedly rapid-fire pace), Marvel's giving its audience exactly what they want.
Was this pep rally a sharp elbow directed at WB/DC's ho-hum announcement to shareholders regarding their JUSTICE LEAGUE development slate? Possibly. If anything, I think Marvel was especially eager to dispute the notion that the studio was indifferent to making standalone movies starring women and people of color. By confirming BLACK PANTHER and CAPTAIN MARVEL (aka Carol Danvers), the studio got themselves off a hook they really needn't have been on in the first place. Both of these characters have been in the Phase 3 pipeline for a while: early AGE OF ULTRON drafts featured a visit to Wakanda (the Black Panther's fictional home country) and a very brief cameo by Carol Danvers. Feige acknowledged today that Wakanda will definitely be glimpsed in ULTRON, while Chadwick Boseman will be in full costume as Black Panther CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR (coming May 6, 2016). As for why there won't be a Black Widow movie, Feige stressed that they're focused on creating new characters with their Phase 3 standalone entries. He did, however, say Black Widow will be a "key" part of the next Avengers movies (though I'm told she won't be in CIVIL WAR).
Today's presentation was such a grand slam of hype that no one balked at the absence of a DOCTOR STRANGE casting announcement. Director Scott Derrickson was in attendance (seated next to Anthony and Joe Russo), but there wasn't a peep about Benedict Cumberbatch being in talks to play the Sorcerer Supreme. Feige joked that a casting announcement could come anytime between this afternoon and the opening of the movie, so maybe don't get too excited about Cumberbatch just yet. After all, the studio had hoped to reveal Joaquin Phoenix at the 2014 San Diego Comic Con. This hasn't been the smoothest of casting processes.
The other noteworthy omission was the Hulk, who will at least be in AGE OF ULTRON, CIVIL WAR and INFINITY WAR, but, as of now, won't get his own film. Given what I know about ULTRON, I find this a little odd.
Then again, maybe Marvel decided that would be too much pepperoni for y'all to handle.
There was a post-event Q&A with Feige (some of which I referenced in this article), and I'm hoping to get a transcript of that to share with you soon (video may already be available on... certain other sites). To recap, this is Marvel's Phase 3:
· 5/1/15 – AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON
· 7/17/15 – ANT-MAN
· 5/6/16 – CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR
· 11/4/16 – DOCTOR STRANGE
· 5/5/17 – GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY 2 (previously dated 7/28/17)
· 7/28/17 – THOR: RAGNAROK
· 11/3/17 – BLACK PANTHER
· 5/4/18 – AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR PART I
· 7/6/18 – CAPTAIN MARVEL
· 11/2/18 – INHUMANS
· 5/3/19 – AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR PART II
