MULTIVERSITY – THE JUST #1

Writer: Grant Morrison
Art:Ben Oliver
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewer: Optimous Douche

Earth 16: the Earth that started with car keys in fishbowls and eating cheese from a sterno on the coffee table culminating in the creation of the generation that has used the power of global communication to create terabytes of selfie narcissism that will do nothing for humanity forever.

And it is this malaise towards life, productivity and any sort of interest in the tangible world that defines #earthme.

This trip is a cautionary tale for both the fictional and real universes as Morrison once again rips off the scab of a comic wound that has been festering for decades sans an ounce of Neosporin. For ANY of us who have lamented the reboot, reset or reimagining of a universe, Earth 16 is the cautionary tale of what would happen when our wishes come true.

Here’s a hint: What rhymes with “ducky” and “no traction to move the story forward.” Damian Wayne, Chris Kent and a cavalcade of other superhero kids are essentially dress-up dolls pretending they still matter.

The Earth 16 universe is one that has aged in real time, and it is accompanied by heroes that actually die instead of falling into extended comas like our heroes. This means that by 2014 the Golden, Silver and even some of the Dark Age heroes have all shuffled loose their mortality and/or spawned a little hero to take their place.

Morrison is reflecting a societal reflection that has been trumpeted time and again in college philosophy classes: what happens when a species that has always been looking over the next horizon simply gives up? These children and grandchildren of the originals are today’s global workforce who simply don’t give a fuck because we feel the cogs in the grand machine are too big for us to move, just as these progeny of Golden Age comics greatness don’t have fuck-all to do anymore because they can simply satiate their thirsts in life from the sweat of hard-working ancestors.

Parties, selfies and all sorts of time-distracting ies help these cardboard cutouts of heroes pass the time. While digital media is the absorption du jour there is also an almost unnatural appreciation of comics stories. It’s a zeal I don’t even hear bandied about in comic shops, much less amongst laymen, but nonetheless Earth 16 lives and dies by these tales. Literally.

I have railed since the MULTIVERSITY JUSTICE LEAGUE was formed against the meta concept of the danger from this story setting its attack sights on our real world. Unless DC has been ignoring movies all this time to create a Superman clone who will one day be protecting the Big Apple, it’s a concept that I feel will culminate with a thud--or the worse prospect that yet another reality will have to be created since even our reality is now out of synch with story.

Here, though, the concept comics are an agent of physical world-swaying makes sense, seeing as this cattle is so bored with existence and thus looking for any leadership to wake them from their fugue state. I have also relented that kids love the concept of a possible fourth wall collapsing between comics and reality, though I will caution you that not every tale is meant for kiddie consumption. From Lex Luthor to Green Arrow’s daughters, the moral fiber in this world is made of cheesecloth. Keep this in mind when deciding to hand any MULTIVERSITY, but especially THE JUST, to a wee one.

Children of the rich and powerful find ways to snort and screw away generations of hard work. Therein is the impetus of THE JUST: the team that is basically formed for perception versus actual need. This is not hyperbole; in a world entranced by fiction, even the fiction we create to appease our conscience, the formation of powerful individuals to, say, make a flash mob event more alluring could be seen as plausible.

I spend a lot of time manipulating buying behavior at the global level with my day job. The science of using the web to drive prospects from interest to sale are real and being fine-tuned daily with the parsing of big data metrics and an application of old-fashioned strategy. Morrison personified this media enslavement and ultimate doom for its denizens inside every page of this book. This is a great Elseworlds, an epiphany on the meta story of fiction affecting reality I could buy wholeheartedly and a wake-up call for humanity to understand and be able to transcend the electric glow of the latest celebrity or self-celebrity time mires dwindling away our lives.

Oh, this review is also a prime example of a perfect pamphlet THE JUST would find adorbs…for 5 seconds.

When Optimous isn't reviewing comics he is making the IT words chortle and groan with marketing for MaaS360, enterprise mobility management www.maas360.com. He also has a comic coming out sometime soon, for updates head to robpatey.com.

DOCTOR WHO: THE TWELFTH DOCTOR #1

Writer: Robbie Morrison
Artist: Dave Taylor
Publisher: Titan Comics
Reviewer: Corey Michael Dalton

I have loved DOCTOR WHO ever since I first watched Tom Baker wrestle with his oversized scarf on PBS when I was but a wee lad. I own way too many DVDs of the classic series, and I watch the new episodes of the revived series as soon as they air. Heck, I even ran a DOCTOR WHO-themed blog for a while, so it’s safe to say I’m a fan of the property. But even I think Titan Comics might be going a bit too far by trying to maintain three ongoing DOCTOR WHO comic book series at the same time. Series starring Doctors Ten (David Tennant) and Eleven (Matt Smith) launched a couple of months back, and they are now joined by DOCTOR WHO: THE TWELFTH DOCTOR, which features the Doctor as played by Peter Capaldi. Based on the first issue, this new series looks to be my least favorite of the three.

The plot of this debut issue is fairly by the numbers. The Doctor has promised to drop Clara off on Isen VI so she can go skiing on its frozen wastes, but when he lands the TARDIS they discover that the planet is now covered with tropical jungles. Sounds like the start of more than half of the DOCTOR WHO stories ever told, huh? Soon the Doctor and Clara realize that the planet has been terraformed over just a few years by Kano Dollar, the richest human in the 25th century. Of course, the rapid terraforming is causing all kinds of issues—earthquakes and the like. When the Doctor goes into the planet to investigate, he finds an alien spaceship that looks like an upside down robot head as well as some kind of monster that rises from the lava. Cue credits.

Given that the Twelfth Doctor has only starred in a handful of TV episodes so far, I don’t envy Robbie Morrison trying to capture the character’s specific voice. For me, there’s not enough grumpiness yet. I like how in the current season of the show the Doctor makes fun of Clara quite often—and she gives it right back. In this issue, the two seem a bit too chummy. The Doctor in this issue seems Doctorish, but in a generic way, not a Capaldi-ish way. But, as I said, I don’t really have enough of a handle on this newest version of the Doctor yet—and, unfortunately, I don’t think Morrison does either. There are some really lame jokes in the issue, too, such as one comment by the Doctor about Scotland’s changeable weather that is beyond trite, and a character even makes the ol’ “Doctor who?” joke. I did appreciate that there was a robot named “Eric,” though! That made me smile.

Dave Taylor’s art in the issue is nice, reminding me at times of a less sketchy Kevin O’Neill. The likenesses are sometimes a little wonky, but I didn’t really mind. The Doctor didn’t always look like Peter Capaldi and Clara rarely looks like Jenna Coleman, yet the stylized countenances work with the rest of the artwork. And the “skunkeys” were both cute and terrifying at the same time, which is tough to pull off. The colors by Hi-Fi with Dave Taylor were uniformly good--bright and evocative. I particularly liked the scenes set in the jungle with their vivid greens and oranges. One quibble—and I’m sure this wasn’t the artist’s call—but do we really need a two-page spread to tell us the title? Seems like a waste of space.

At the end of the day, I’d rather have Titan focus and make one really good DOCTOR WHO comic book instead of two pretty good ones and one mediocre one. As is, I’ll probably stick with the series starring the Eleventh Doctor and drop the other two. I just like that one the best so far. But even if all three series were great, I’d still probably pick and choose one or two instead of ponying up $12 a month for three series starring essentially the same character, although if the three series starred the Fourth Doctor, the Eighth Doctor, and the current Doctor (instead of the three most recent iterations), I might be willing to give it a try …

Corey Michael Dalton has written and/or edited trade books, magazine articles, short stories, novels, comics, plays, radio shows, reviews, websites, blogs, and more. You name it, he's probably written it. Except religious scriptures. He hasn't gotten around to those just yet. Soon ...

AXIS #2

Writer: Rick Remender
Artist: Adam Kubert
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Reviewer: Masked Man

Anyone reading Remender's UNCANNY AVENGERS knows that he has been doing a damn fine job. The lead-in to AXIS was especially cool, with Magneto killing the Red Skull and all. But now that we are into AXIS itself, wow--what a collection of borrowed ideas and weak execution. Two issues in and it's already making ORIGIN SIN look like an Eisner winner.

Here come the spoilers, folks. Borrowed idea number 1: Tony Stark has created files on how to defeat each of his teammates in The Avengers. The Red Skull, with his new abilities stolen from Professor Xavier, gets ahold of these plans and uses them to 'destroy' the Avengers (by telepathically duping Tony into building Sentinels designed to take out The Avengers). Now aside from the telepathy and Sentinels, this is pretty much the same set-up from Mark Waid's JLA story “Tower of Babble” where Batman creates files on how to defeat each of his teammates in the Justice League, then Ra's al Ghul gets his hands on them and takes out the League.

Borrowed idea number 2: after the Sentinels have 'destroyed' The Avengers, there's no one left to save the world, right? Wrong. Magneto pulls together a group of popular supervillains to oppose the Red Skull, Which is just like Geoff Johns' FOREVER EVIL, Where the Crime Syndicate has 'destroyed' the Justice League and there's no one left to save the world except for Lex Luthor, who puts together a team of popular supervillains to oppose the Crime Syndicate. Even the ending seems borrowed, as promo ads seem to indicate that Magneto will become a member of the Uncanny Avengers after AXIS--just as Lex Luthor became a member of the Justice League after FOREVER EVIL. Which, I may add, borrows the ending from Brian Michael Bendis' SECRET INVASION, as Norman (Green Goblin) Osborn helped to defeat the Skrulls and then became a member of the Avengers- oy! I feel I need a rolled up newspaper to swat Remender with “No, no! Bad writer! Bad!”

Now this could be acceptable if Remender was killing the story like, say, Robert Kirkman, with what should have been just another boring zombie story in WALKING DEAD. Instead Remender gives us a scene where more than half of The Avengers (and X-Men) have been destroyed by the Red Onslaught during a straight-up direct attack. So now, in these desperate times, what do Iron Man and Havok (leader of the Uncanny Avengers) do? Well, they engage Red Onslaught in another straight-up direct attack in which they all get destroyed. I thought these characters were supposed to be smart?

As I mentioned in my review of issue number one, Adam Kubert isn't the guy most people think about when it comes to an amazing talent with a huge fan base who can really carry an event crossover, and he seems to have proven that even more so here. At best, I guess Marvel called him up last month and said “Uh…say, Adam, are you busy? 'Cause we need two issues penciled and inked by October.” Everything is so sketchy looking each panel is just poorly put together, and what should have been a stunning final two-page spread really wasn't.

Before I go I'll mention the dialogue, as it seems Remender is getting a lot of hate for it. Remender is clearly trying to make The Avengers 'fun' like in the current cartoons and movie, with everyone trading humorous quips, which is fine, but Remender seems to be forgetting that quips are just that: quips and not conversations. As a result he just beats it into the ground, killing the humor (and annoying a lot of people), which is all weird because he barely had any humorous quips in UNCANNY AVENGERS.

I'm a little dumbfounded here. Jason Aaron and Rick Remender were two of my favorite writers working at Marvel (all but stealing me away from DC). But I simply can't explain the misfire of ORIGINAL SIN and the seemingly bigger misfire AXIS (mind you, it's only two issues in, but yeah). In their desire for more event crossover money, Marvel maybe killing the whole concept with these two undercooked events. I mean, I'm not so sure everyone has forgiven them for A VS X or AGE OF ULTRON yet, either.

CRYSTAL CADETS #1

Writer: Anne Toole
Artist: Katie O’Neill
Publisher: Roar Comics
Reviewer: Lyzard

CRYSTAL CADETS isn’t the type of comic I’d typically seek out. However, I've been on a "girl power" streak for the past few weeks, so I figured why don't I check out what heroines are gracing the pages of indie works these days.

The initial draw for me was CRYSTAL CADETS’ writer. You may not have read Anne Toole’s work, but you’ve probably played it. Toole has worked on several video games, including “The Witcher”. However, she has also written for the award winning webseries “The Lizzie Bennet Diaries”. It is hard to put her style into a box, so obviously I expected that any comic of hers would be just as unconventional.

Convention: CRYSTAL CADETS appears to be chock full of it. Just taking a look at the artwork, it is easy to rattle off a list of mangas and animes that have that style. SAILOR MOON is probably the closest parallel in regards to visuals and storyline. You’ve got Zoe, who on her birthday finds a mysterious letter from her mom and a crystal. This weird present coincides with the arrival of a strange group of foreign exchange students, leaving us with the question of what is really to blame for the school being attacked by a dragon-esque creature. I say it leaves us to question why all of these strange events are occurring on this day, but this is a typical setup for a chosen one storyline.

Adherence to tropes isn’t necessarily a bad thing. A familiar world easily draws in regular readers of the genre. But as I said before, CRYSTAL CADETS isn’t my typical cup of tea. So for one who hasn’t watched an episode of SAILOR MOON (or works similar to it) in over a decade, where is the appeal?

Mostly it comes from the humor. There is something to be said for the exaggerated reactions and expressions found in these types of pieces. The mean girls are meaner, and the strangers are…stranger. My point is that the ridiculous nature of it all works for two reasons: 1) This is set in high school. Everything is dramatic when you’re in high school. 2) This is high school meets fantasy. If you think being picked on by queen bees was hard enough, imagine dealing with winged fire-spouting creatures in between classes. Frankly, you can get away with a whole lot of cheesiness when this is the world you set up. The jokes walk a fine line between groaners and light-hearted chuckles, but I think it is the over-the-top facial expressions, drawn by Katie O’Neill, that sell the idea that these are situations to be laughed at and mocked even.

It wasn’t until the last few pages that I found the comic to be anything other than just charming. The book for the most part was fun and a nice break from my typical readings, but the ending is where you can see the creative team making it obvious that this is for a larger audience, where the tone takes a turn from the light-hearted to the downright creepy.

I’m not trying to put CRYSTAL CADETS into a corner when I say that this book has a particular target demo. Actually, it would be better to say that there are several types of readers that wouldn’t like CRYSTAL CADETS. If your idea of a fun afternoon is reading PREACHER, then this book probably isn’t for you. If you find DEADPOOL to be the most hilarious superhero out there, you probably won’t laugh at CRYSTAL CADETS. I’d even go as far as to say that the typical AICN talkbacker isn’t the right type of reader, though maybe I’m just underestimating you guys. There is an obvious audience for this book and a not so obvious one. Yeah, it fits so well into that whole “girl power” grouping, but the Japanese style and genre it Americanizes is popular world-wide amongst more than just young girls.

Lyzard is Lyz Reblin, a graduate student at the University of Texas pursuing a master's degree in Media Studies... which is just a fancy way of saying she plays a lot video games, watches far too many horror films, and then tries to pass it all off as "research."

DEADPOOL’S ART OF WAR #1

Writer: Peter David
Artist: Scott Koblish
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Reviewer: MajinFu

“Waging war. Isn’t this fun?”

War, yeah, sure Deadpool. What is it good for? Besides perpetuating the industrial complex, deterring population growth, killing the youth while simultaneously offering countless politicians and journalists a platform for self-promotion without consequence? It’s a hefty subject for any comic creator to tackle. Unless of course you’re writing about the “art” of war, in which case you could just turn every instance of the word “battle” to “business” and make a pretty penny off some ancient Chinese guy’s book. This is Deadpool’s grand scheme in his latest flavor of the month, aptly written by Peter David and superbly illustrated by Scott Koblish, with an excellent color palette from Val Staples.

There was a time when comics were utilized as propaganda to promote war back on the home front, where heroes like Captain America and Wonder Woman clashed with Nazi scum in a world where there was no moral gray area, and the opposition was simply “eeeee-vil!” Staples of the war genre such as Joe Kubert’s SGT. ROCK and THE UNKNOWN SOLDIER have become relics of the past, while works such as Jason Aaron and Cameron Stewart’s THE OTHER SIDE carry on the tradition of depicting normal men and women facing extraordinary circumstances. DEADPOOL’S ART OF WAR probably won’t fit as snugly into the legacy of war comics as some of the previously mentioned titles, but what it does provide is a reasonably entertaining and unique premise starring Marvel’s most overexposed mutant. It’s not particularly memorable, but acts as a nice introduction to a fun and properly ludicrous story.

Dealing less with the harsh realities and unspeakable horror of war and having more to do with Sun Tzu’s famed book of conflict, DEADPOOL’S ART of WAR begins with the assassination of the original author, which segues nicely into Deadpool’s awakened ambition to write his own strategic text in order to capitalize once again on adapting the ancient text. It’s a suitably silly way to kick things off, even with a bit of tonal dissonance. Between innocent women’s beheadings and Deadpool’s acknowledgment and simultaneous dismissal of continuity, it’s not always easy to gauge what you’re supposed to be feeling from page to page.

That may be due to the fact that this is Peter David’s first time writing a Deadpool story, but that sort of multiple personality disorder has always been one of Deadpool’s signatures, right? You can’t pin him down. The often off-kilter mercenary is a complicated critter, with an unquenchable bloodlust compounded by his wackadoo personality, and I don’t want to even get into that time he got all “save the kids” and stuck his neck out for Kid-pocalypse (UNCANNY X-FORCE is still one of the best X-comics of the 21st century, if you didn’t know). He has become an engine to power whatever strange whims or trends are occupying the Marvel Comics ethos at any given of time, so you’d be hard-pressed to maintain the tone in a story where the main character is the collective voice of dozens of creators and/or executives. So what we have here is another product of that mentality, and the result is fair to middlin’.

It’s not Peter David’s fault, though. In fact, the former writer of X-FACTOR does an admirable job translating his idea for a Marvel story based around Sun Tzu’s text into the Deadpool-centric story the publisher wanted. The aforementioned meditation on continuity is a humorous nod for all the Thor geeks out there, and the decision to incorporate Asgard so early in the story helps to elevate the whole affair fairly quickly while hinting at the epic scale of what’s to come. It’s too bad this first issue took so long to get going, but hopefully the next three issues will be packed with all the hijinks we’ve come to expect from Mr. David.

Another thing Mr. David does in this story besides accommodating the Deadpool-lovin’ ways of Marvel is providing a wealth of colorful scenarios for Scott Koblish to bring to life on the comics page. The beginning and end of this issue in particular are perfectly rendered to capture a somewhat goofy Silver Age tone coupled with some brutal action. Koblish’s angular line work and Staples’ colors combine to create superb visuals and raise the book from somewhat mediocre into something totally worth taking a look at.

DEADPOOL’S ART OF WAR is a solid premise with some good writing and great art that suffers primarily from having a killer clown for the story’s catalyst. It’s just hard not to notice the skeleton for “Marvel’s Art of War by Peter David” under all the Deadpool meat. Sure, Wade looks pretty great once he puts on that Asgard gear and his understanding of Sun Tzu’s book makes for some humorous sequences, but I still can’t help feeling like “Marvel’s Art of War” could have been more interesting without him. It’s not like Thor and Loki need a new reason to hate each other, after all. Deadpool is one of those character’s I’ve learned to appreciate for his humor over the years, but it’s getting a little tiring seeing him drown a story that could otherwise address some contemporary issues in interesting ways, much like the war comics of yesteryear. This was a fine first issue for a story, and I’m sure we’re in for a good time with the next three issues of the series, especially considering the creative team, but when the protagonist of your story is the one part you could have left out, it’s time to consider the esteem of creators over creative properties.

NAILBITER VOL. 1: THERE WILL BE BLOOD

Writer: Joshua Williamson
Artist: Mike Henderson
Publisher: Image Comics
Reviewer: Humphrey Lee

I have done enough of these that I’m not quite sure if I’ve anecdoted this information out previously, but I’m not particularly the biggest horror guy. It’s probably blasphemous in this month dedicated to gore and slutty costume variations of popular tropes, but I’ve just found most pure horror flicks and stories and whatnot to sacrifice story for shock value or to play off squeamishness. There’s always exceptions, of course, and I will admit that horror video games tend to tick at my nerves a bit because there’s something to be said for the raw anxiety caused by being the one bringing the scares and tense moments on yourself, but mostly I like to stick to pure thrillers and their story first with some tense and sadistic moments as my adrenaline tapper in entertainment. Instead of seeing, say, some poor bastard’s skin basically melt away in a puddle ala “Cabin Fever” I much more enjoy the riveting, charismatic build up of a Hannibal Lecter so that when we finally see him unleashed – briefly as it may be – it is ten of the most tension-filled moments that we have seen on celluloid. The promise of build up and suspense in its horror instead of a pure blood and guts approach (and the $9.99 price tag Image does for its first volumes didn’t hurt) is what led me to try this NAILBITER tome here and, far as my tastes go at least, it succeeded pretty admirably.

So let’s do the quick and easy rundown about what NAILBITER is and does. What it is is the tale of a town called Buckaroo in Oregon that has produced a staggering sixteen of the country’s serial killers, including the nefarious Nailbiter himself Edward Warren, who chewed off the fingertips of his victims. This tally is so phenomenal a phenomena that it draws in FBI profiler Eliot Carroll to figure out what could possibly cause a town to produce such a volume of sadistic life-takers. Of course, Carroll goes missing and this then pulls friend of his Nicholas Finch, formerly of the NSA, into Buckaroo to find out just what the fuck is going on, teams up with the local police led by sheriff Shannon Crane and, well, look at the title of this volume. What do you suppose happens?

That out of the way, let’s move on to what makes this an intriguing tale of violence and fucked uppery. Given what I stated I enjoy getting out of works in that horror/thriller crossbreed, it’s the worldbuilding that stood with me the most as I closed up this first volume. Buckaroo is a breeding ground for the demented, but becomes homey as things progress. It is presented from the get go as a town both depressed yet somehow prideful of the moniker it carries, because at least it puts it on the map. The town takes a while to feel fully alive, though, a theme that does kind of hamper this introductory volume somewhat. I may as well get to the negative side of this book now since it’s a mostly positive experience, but while the world is opening itself up to us with its character introductions and tackling its sordid history, there is a current string of murders that has some of the original Nailbiter’s M.O. going for it and that falls a little flat. This occurs mostly because it’s a mystery insofar as we’re only really introduced to, like, ten characters during this five-issue span that could be committing these masked homicides, and even then a solid third of them die by the end of the fourth issue. And then three of them are the book’s obvious main characters, so when it turns out to be a random asshole from one of the first couple issues that has not died yet it’s not a terrible shock, because it’s not like you have been attached to anyone in the previous ninety pages. But there is something greater going on here, and a far more sadistic SOB pulling the strings that brought Eliot Carroll to the town of Buckaroo in the first place and resulted in him getting ghosted.

That’s the progression that really makes NAILBITER something that will keep you visiting the town of Buckaroo and its dark side if you choose to enter it at all. What Carroll was hoping to unearth was just the start of a greater mystery. There is definitely something connecting the genesis of these murderers together. Despite tons of damning evidence in literally dozens of cases somehow the original Nailbiter, Edward Warren, got off scott free, and obviously there’s shenanigans behind it. Sheriff Crane has a history that intertwines with Warren’s, Agent Finch himself has a murky past, before he disappeared Agent Carroll found some damning material and the place he is discovered as this volume progresses raises a whole plethora of “what the fuck is going on here?” questions. It takes the full run of the five issues reprinted here to get there, but by the end of this arc there is so much going on with character ties and invisible strings being pulled and conspiracies that my interest in the overall material went from “mild” to “writing a largely positive review on the Internets about it”. I enjoyed where things progressed so much. Oh, and yes, in the midst of it all there was some pretty brutal and visceral happenings that tickle your “that’s fucked up” nerve endings to wrap up the overall package as a good horror/thriller work does.

Bringing this review and the book home, I enjoy Mike Henderson’s pencil work. It’s got a unique energy unto itself, even though stylistically it looks like it graduated from the school of Riley Rossmo with its squarish figures and its layouts. It’s also done up with a very dirty color-heavy colored finish that brings out the ugly in the blood-soaked goings on. It’s just that kind of book where the evil within is devilishly charming despite its overall sadism. The trade dressing itself describes it as being “SE7EN”-like, and I think that’s a great comparison point with a bit of the afore alluded-to “Silence of the Lambs” as there’s a large helping of psychotic behavior being propagated here by a party with some sort of disturbed agenda, and the key to unlocking it lies with a charismatic but batshit insane antagonist. That overall mystery and the gruesome bond that the original Nailbiter has to it, the city, and even one of our two main characters are definitely strong enough plots to carry along the story of Buckaroo, especially if Williamson and Henderson keep feeding us interesting and well-done history on the town, the murderers it’s famous for, and bringing in more characters that make the place more homey to go along with its homicidal. Serve this up with some fava beans and nice chianti and you’ve got a veritable feast of mad butchery worthy of the genre pieces I’ve put NAILBITER on the same (gore-covered) shelf alongside throughout this review. If any of those works tickle your fancy, then NAILBITER will “gitchi-gitchi-goo” you and your severed foot that it hacked off and is probably looking to turn into a stew. Mmm, stew. Cheers…

Humphrey Lee has been an avid comic book reader going on fifteen years now and a contributor to Ain't It Cool comics for quite a few as well. In fact, reading comics is about all he does in his free time and where all the money from his day job wages goes to - funding his comic book habit so he can talk about them to you, our loyal readers (lucky you). He's a bit of a social networking whore, so you can find him all over the Interwebs on sites like Twitter, The MySpaces, Facebookand a blog where he also mostly talks about comics with his free time because he hasn't the slightest semblance of a life. Sad but true, and he gladly encourages you to add, read, and comment as you will.

FLASH GORDON #6

Writer: Jeff Parker
Artist: Evan Shaner
Publisher: Dynamite Entertainment
Reviewer: Masked Man

Well, shut my mouth. Back when I reviewed the first issue of this new FLASH GORDON series by Dynamite, I wasn't very impressed. I didn't give it a bad review, but I didn't quite give it a good one either. Well, around issue #3 its mission became clearer and it won me over (I should have reviewed it back then, but stuff happens). Parker and Shaner have turned FLASH GORDON into a real winner. Almost, dare I say, much like Marvel's DAREDEVIL in that it's simple, fun, and clever.

One of my original concerns over this series was the retread of Flash's origin/set-up. Flash, Dale and Zarkov fly to Mongo, captured by Ming, escape to Arboria, captured again, escape to Sky City, captured again, yada, yada, yada. We've seen it a thousand times before! Now while Parker is still following that formula, and hasn't updated Flash into something unrecognizable (like that ill-conceived SYFY show), he has managed to craft a fresh new take on that basic plot. I gotta say, that takes balls; I would have taken the easy route and just skipped it. But with this new take on the old story, Parker has created something light, breezy and most importantly, fun! This is where the book succeeds the most: it’s just fun to read. Heck, in this issue Flash and Zarkov are captured by some Bee Women and it turns into a scene from FUTURAMA or even FLESH GORDON, if ya take my meaning.

And as pitch perfect Chris Samnee's artwork has been on Mark Waid's DAREDEVIL, so has Evan Shaner's artwork been on Parker's FLASH GORDON. It has an old-school flair to it that fits perfectly with the good old-fashioned adventure Parker is penning. But like DAREDEVIL, this isn't a retrobook. The storytelling and characters are very modern--I already told you about all the hanky-panky. Shaner's pages are a perfect blend between old school adventure and modern storytelling. Within this issue, from the scenes of negotiating with the hawkmen to Prince Vultan's final solution of what to do with Flash Gordon and company are as well drawn as they are scripted. Colorist Jordie Bellaire impresses me as ever with this book as well (If only her X-FILES comics were as impressive). Her light cheerful colors really sell the mood of the title.

Lastly, I'll mention that this series is connected to the last series Parker did for Dynamite, DEFENDERS OF THE EART- er, THE KING’S WATCH, basically stating because of the events in that miniseries, Flash and company have traveled to Mongo and the other worlds under Ming's rule (you see, Parker has turned the kingdoms of Mongo--Frigia, Arboria, etc.--into different planets now). That said, FLASH GORDON is a far superior book to THE KING'S WATCH.

As everyone knows, Dynamite has one of, if not the best collection of licensed characters in comic books. Unfortunately their books can be very spotty at times, so I'm very happy when they get it right. And they got it right this time. FLASH GORDON is definitely a book worth your time.

MOWGLIN PEILI Orignial Graphic Novel

Writer/Artist: Olivier Schrauwen
Artist: Yoshikazu Yasuhiko
Publisher: Huuda Huuda
Reviewer: MajinFu

Say what you will about the public education system, but Mowgli never sat down at a desk a day in his life and dude is one confused individual. Most kids finish high school with an ability to at least read and do some arithmetic. Mowgli can barely figure out his own species, or how babies or made, or what to do with all this elephant dung, let alone win a fight against a fully grown alpha male orangutan. So, kids, next time you have to slough off summer in pursuit of your studies, be grateful that you’re blessed with enough of an education to know that the smiling face peeking out of that animal’s sphincter is not in fact a friend you can just yank out and play with for social hour.

MOWGLIN PEILI is exactly why I love the independent comics market: because the independent comics market allows creators to tell exactly the story they want to tell in the exact manner of their choosing, even if said tale is simply the story of a confused, naked man on a journey of self-discovery. The comic only utilizes a palette of about four colors, but they’re put to great effect, whether it’s in the interest of communicating great existential pathos or physical trauma. The line work is a bit sloppy but suits the subject matter very well, as the near-adolescent Mowgli stumbles from one befuddling instance to the next.

The story has no dialog, so even though this was published in a foreign land you should have no trouble understanding Mowgli’s quest for acceptance. Visuals are kept at a primal level throughout so as to allow each savage moment to shine through with some kind of simple charm. There are parts in this book with real insight into the human condition, but most of it is simply for laughs and Mowgli seems to look for friends in all the wrong places.

I liked this book quite a bit. It’s the first in some time I can heartily recommend to just about anyone capable of stomaching a line drawing of somebody’s junk. I won’t dwell too much on the philosophical underpinnings of MOWGLI PEININ in the interest of not spoiling anything, but suffice to say it’s worth checking out. Fantagraphics is publishing this book again next year, but if you can’t wait that long ask your local shopkeeper and they may be able to procure you a copy of this strange, beautiful, vulgar piece of work about what it means to belong.

DEATH OF WOLVERINE #4

Writer: Charles Soule
Artist: Steve McNiven
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Reviewer: Optimous Douche

To service all of my haters that have expressed time and again their disdain for my 50,000 foot views of books as they relate to comics and the grand absorption of media, here’s my Wolverine PR-ready review slugline to satiate the thirst for reveals that are a year old and a plot already a week old.

“ Soule and McNiven send short stack off right—well, at least poetically. For four issues Soule paid reverence to history as Logan journeyed back to his conception in comic history. They say you can’t go home again, but both Soule and McNiven prove this a fallacy throughout the series.

The same grand epic images McNiven brought to OLD MAN LOGAN adorn every page of this issue. It helps what would make a claustrophobic final showdown in the new Weapon X lab between Frankenstein, his creator and his new little brother far more grandiose than this lab would be under someone else’s hand.

Soule, as I just alluded to, decides to end the misunderstood Michael J. Fox of mutantdom by leaving metaphor out the window and literally sets up circumstances so Wolverine must encase himself in the same adamantium that made his healing power impotent from buying that August block of timeshare in Nagasaki.

The hero that has helped redefine how we all read comics ends this issue as a literal and figurative monument to perseverance until the absolute last breath.”

OK, now let’s talk.

While I wholeheartedly believe every word I said above about this solitary experience in storytelling, my mind still screams with every turn of the page “at least fucking pretend he’ll be dead until Disney can wrest loose control the movie rights from Fox.” I get business, and this carbonite play was a brilliant long-term strategy to stem the HUGE amounts of free marketing every Wolverine comic was generating for a rival studio.

As comics fans, though, these slapsies between fatcats continues to dilute the gravitas of the serial medium and its used-to be-longstanding ramifications. Death has become synonymous with coma in comics, with this final state of Wolverine entombed as a slab of supermetal a literal and figurative representation of the lead balloon continuity represents in this age of dwindling hobby commitment. Reset ever year by all means, but stop fucking giving me an end that is only as meaningful as the ROI imperative it supports. Call a stasis a stasis and prove there is still some skin in this game to control stories without the parlor trick reboot.

You’ve had my respect for three years, Marvel, as you battled against hype generated from the DC New 52 hullabaloo, holding steadfast to only story shifts with each new Now instead of a complete goodbye Then.

Recent changes, though, like trying to make Remender a joke writer, the new nonsensical Captain America Movie Tie-In replacement as opposed to TRUTHful adherence to classic universe keystones and other impending cancellations to continue the IP rodeo roundup makes for the resurrection of concerns we all bellowed about this brand being homogenized and abused when the House of Ideas was locked inside one of the Magic Castle’s towers. For a time it seemed there was an earnest desire to respect a delineation of properties in pursuit of untainted storytelling. DEATH OF WOLVERINE is the first gurgle in the death rattle of trust as Mickey now wraps his pristine white gloves to wring the neck of any property that was foolhardy enough to warrant a decent selling price back when we were in a Bush I economy.

Wolverine is indeed dead, though I think the saddest part in this tale has yet to come. I don’t weep for the mutant stories I so love to be sans their feral staple for awhile; I cringe in fear for the inevitable shoehorned resurrection once Fox finally releases Jackman and simply signs back ol’ cigar breadth.

I was at first moved by the sullen figure encased in gleaming yet glop-shaped metaphor. Now I hope someone picks up this carcass and puts him in Scott Summers’ bathroom so we can all share in the same lack of reverence Wolverine’s current comic masters have shown.

Soule and McNiven good, IP pissing contests bad for everyone no matter what today’s ROI models shown will be possible revenue in 2022.

Editing, compiling, imaging, coding, logos & cat-wrangling by Ambush Bug
Proofs, co-edits & common sense provided by Sleazy G
Remember, if you have a comic book you’d like one of the @$$holes to take a look at, click on your favorite reviewer’s link and drop us an email.

Find out what are BLACK MASK STUDIOS and OCCUPY COMICS here and on Facebook here!

Want more in all things Geek?
Check out PoptardsGo and on Facebook here!

Get your copy of highly-anticipated anthology TOME by 44FLOOD today on their Kickstarter!

Check out AICN COMICS on Facebook and Comixpedia.org!

AICN COMICS REVIEWS: MULTIVERSITY! NAILBITER! DEADPOOL’S ART OF WAR! FLASH GORDON! & More!