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The Quick Brown Fox takes a looksee at the first testing of CHARLIE'S ANGELS!

Published at:  Aug 09, 2000 2:11:53 AM CDT

Hola mis companeros, Harry esta aqui en Austin, que lastima! AAAAaaaaaarrrrghhhh, must get Spanish out of my head.... madre English... por favor, arrrrrriiiibbbaaaa!!! Sigh, it has come almost second nature to me... this latino lengua, por que no se, pero mis muy gusto a voy aqui! EEEEeeeeekkkk, what I need is to talk about some caliente ellas, like the CHARLIE'S ANGELS!!! That most recent trailer looks like it could be a hoot, and from talking a viejo del diablo en telefono que senor Gregor Samsa digase "La cine es muy muy fabulosa!" So my fears have been put aside, and I expect the review from Gregor to be posted by Moriarty very soon... Till then, read about the Quick Brown Fox and vaya con Dios mis amigos...



Hey Harry and the rest of the gang!

Guess what.

I saw Charlie's Angels.

You know what's even better?

The movie's not half bad.

Well, I'll be fair. I'll tell you what the rest of the people in my party
thought. Two of my friends hated it. They were looking at it too
objectively (then again, one of these friends liked What Lies Beneath),
another friend seemed kind of mixed on the subject. Then there was my
brother, who enjoyed it about as much as I did.

This is not a movie to be taken seriously; it's a spoof on the action genre
that manages to supply some pretty cool sequences at the same time. A lot
of it looks like a direct attack on M:I-2 with most of the action being
done in slow motion, at least two sequences involving birds (although no
doves) and even a segment that is taken from the first Mission: Impossible
movie, although it has enough changes to make it tongue in cheek funny.

The movie knows its about action, not story. It doesn't waste its time
trying to explain the plot, which is generic. It's basically a satirical
form of the Bond formula. There's an opening involving an unrelated action
sequence on a plane (most of it is shown in the trailer). The plot is
explained in short segments, then the movie moves on to its action, which
is as fantastic as it is unbelievable.

To be honest, I'm not sure how much to take seriously in the fight scenes.
They're extremely improbable, yet pretty exciting at the same time. For
example, there's a bicycle kick that lasts for about 20 feet. No, it
wouldn't happen in real life, but it doesn't seem too far off in comparison
to some recent action movies. The fight scenes take on a surrealistic
quality where the director knows how fake it seems, but goes ahead with it
anyway. The result is pretty nifty and funny in a subtle way that I don't
think most of the audience got.

Murray, Liu and Diaz are great, however, Barrymore wasn't working at the
same level. While the other actors took the material seriously, and were
funny in an almost Airplane! kind of way, Barrymore acted like she was in
on the joke. The result is a number of lame one-liners. She was one of
the producers for the movie; that's probably the only reason she's in it.
She's probably also the only reason that Tom Green makes a few cameo
appearances. Bill Murray is genius as he improvises what seems like
scripted lines; Green sounds like he's improvising, regardless of whether
or not he is.

Basically, Charlie's Angels is entertaining enough to recommend. Like I
said earlier, my friends didn't really agree with me, although I'm usually
considered the most critical among them. As long as you accept it as a
spoof, you'll be entertained. If you're looking for realism, you walked
into the wrong theater.

You may call me The Quick Brown Fox.



    + Expand All

    Readers Talkback

  • Aug 09, 2000 2:15:25 AM CDT

    Eh. . .

    by cowblaster

  • Aug 09, 2000 2:22:50 AM CDT

    Oh no.....

    by crimsonrage

    They should have NEVER made this film. Does anyone remember "The Mod Squad", "The Avengers", and "Wild Wild West"? The only halfway decent films based on an action television show were "Mission Impossible"(which kinda' sucked), and "The Untouchables". This film looks very sad.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 09, 2000 2:24:11 AM CDT

    can't wait....

    by atreides

    ...for it to be shown on a wet Sunday afternoon when I've got nothing better to do.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 09, 2000 2:38:02 AM CDT

    Oh man...

    by ronald_reagan

    I won't even comment all that much. I'll just say that I'm still as skeptical as can be. Forgive me, but Hollywood doesnt tend to make old TV shows into decent (or even tolerable) movies very well.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 09, 2000 2:48:06 AM CDT

    This movie is a Chick Flick action pic that kicks major butt!

    by junior d-girl

    The trailer is a hoot and a half! Total entertainment with three women who know how to have fun, wish I could've joined them for this one. There will definitely be a sequel or two...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 09, 2000 2:49:34 AM CDT

    Crispin H. Glover

    by methos

    If he's in it then I'm already there. Is that Alberta Watson in the new trailer?

    Reply to Talkback

  • I saw an extended preview for "Charlie's Angels" on Entertainment Tonight a couple'a weeks back, and it looked cheesy as HELL, but potentially quite fun. And, y'know, I don't *dislike* a little T&A now and then, especially if it's tongue-in-cheek and not "Hollow Man"-seamy. Plus...Bill Murray. I tell ya, I might give this flick a go for a little light fun. I'm guessing the campy-but-cool comic "Danger Girl" will never make it to film, so this might be the next best thing. And, hell, I can't find it in my heart to be negative about *anything* right now, not after following the link Darth Brooks posted in the Alec Guinness Talkback. Fellow Talkbackers, you must follow it. Only then can you know the glory that is William Shatner singing the theme song to the new Buzz Lightyear direct-to-video cartoon! Dig it and try telling me you don't feel happy afterwards! http://disney.go.com/disneyvideos/Cartoons/buzzlightyear/to_infinity.html

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 09, 2000 3:18:53 AM CDT

    Where's Farah?....

    by psyclops

    Why the hell did they even decide to make this movie? I saw the trailers just like the rest of you, and you know what,...they sucked!! Regardless of how cheesy the television show was, it tried to be serious with the material. It wasn't a spoof the way that Baywatch isn't a spoof. Sure, it's campy fun, but they seem to do it with a straight face. This just seemed like a bad idea from the get-go. It reminds me of that Brady Bunch movie that wasn't really a Brady Bunch movie, but a slapstick version of a T.V. show. What will they think of next? Oh, I know!...How about 'Cagney & Lacey: The Movie' with Margaret Cho and Ellen Degeneres!! Or an updated version of 'Miami Vice' with Adam Sandler and Chris Rock!! Oh, the joy of cinema!!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 09, 2000 3:27:06 AM CDT

    Baywatch taking itself seriously is a GOOD thing?!?

    by darqueguy

    Whether the original series took itself seriously or not, the fact is that it doesn't hold up today...it's been exposed as the ridiculous bit of fluff that it was. So taking the initial concept and making light of it is the only way it's going to translate well. Regardless, I'm seeing this for Murray and Murray alone...the guy can do no wrong these days, as far as I'm concerned. And talking about old TV shows turned into films...everybody seems to forget "The Fugitive" when they're talking about the GOOD ones. In fact, "The Fugitive" was probably the BEST one so far. Hell, all I want to see now is a movie version of "Vega$" with Alec Baldwin playing Dan Tanna as a womanizer who is still stuck in the 70s although it's 2000...just like the Brady Bunch movie.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 09, 2000 3:41:14 AM CDT

    Clarifications...

    by psyclops

    First, I didn't mean that Baywatch trying to be serious is a 'good thing'. All I was trying to say, was that Hollywood should spoof a concept like Baywatch or Charlie's Angels, much like 'Son Of The Beach' did! They shouldn't use the actual title of the property to poke fun at it. Why even make it at all? If you think about all of the material that can become classic studio remakes, you will ocassionally get 'The Fugitive', or 'The X-Files', or even 'The Mask of Zorro'. But you know what? I don't even care about it. I never liked Angels, or Baywatch or any of the other cr

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 09, 2000 3:50:08 AM CDT

    This will be Farrah and away (cringe) the best re-working of a s

    by alien gonzales

  • Aug 09, 2000 4:01:59 AM CDT

    Oh yeah....I forgot.

    by crimsonrage

    "The Fugitive" was pretty good (freaking great as TV to film movies go) but way over-rated. For the most part though, Hollywood should steer clear of TV show movies, remember "Flipper"? Neither do I, and that's the way I like it. Sorry, I didn't mention "Star Trek", never watched the show or the movies and I've see about everything I possibly can when it comes to film. I don't know why.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 09, 2000 4:02:44 AM CDT

    What the hell is wrong with you people!!!

    by super pimp

    With the exception of one person, nobody including the reviewer, mentioned the fact that the villains are played by a triumvirate of

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 09, 2000 4:03:37 AM CDT

    I have the same birthday as Jaqueline Smith. Oh yeah, we're like

    by alien gonzales

    Oh yeah, we haven't had nearly
    enough re-visitations, I'm still praying for that big screen "Tucker's Witch" outing. On a more serious note though, When will someone *properly* supervise the reincarnation of "The A Team" and "Knight Rider"? Or better yet, Don't make a new "Knight Rider", Just erase the abhorrent televisual still-birth that is "Knight Rider 2000" (ugh) from my memory. Ooh! Who remember's "StreetHawk"? Never was a major "Airwolf" fan though, I thought it lacked credibility...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 09, 2000 4:07:35 AM CDT

    Not to mention.....

    by super pimp

    Wet chicks in bikinis, tight pants and KUNG-FU!!! Only the dead wouldn't wanna scope this. See you in hell. Biotch!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 09, 2000 4:09:37 AM CDT

    Charlie and THE IRON GIANT

    by todd

    Strange that we never saw Charlie in the show. His voice always boomed out of an iron box. It would be funny if as a boy Hogarth found THE IRON GIANT's voice box and somehow rigged it up so that he could speak through it. Then, as a goof, he used it to command hot babes to go on exciting adventures. My only wish is that Hogarth would have shared THE IRON GIANT's voice box technology to help fast food chains make the drive through speaker boxes more coherent.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 09, 2000 4:13:38 AM CDT

    Now they need to make movies of....

    by super pimp

    Manimal, Automan and The Man From Atlantis. Oh yeah.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 09, 2000 4:32:40 AM CDT

    Don't forget...

    by darqueguy

    MISFITS OF SCIENCE!!!

    Hmmmm...actually, with a complete overhaul, this could actually be a good property in these post-"X-Men" times...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 09, 2000 4:40:15 AM CDT

    'Street Hawk' was the shit!!!

    by psyclops

    ...I still have the motorcycle action figure from when I was nine years old.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 09, 2000 5:01:54 AM CDT

    I pity the fool who can't come up with an "The A Team" movie fan

    by alien gonzales

    Ooh! Jim carrey as "Howlin Mad" Murdoch", seems almost too obvious. Ving Rhames or Michael Clarke Duncan as Bosco "Bad Attitude" Baracus etc etc etc. The fun goes on and on. How 'bout the "Star Wars" fantasy "A-Team" cast? "Chewie" for "B.A" (I pity the fool who musses up my space ship!), Too easy. The "Big Brother*A-Team" cast, Damn, B.A already got kicked out of that one (I pity the fool who dont follow the teachings of the honourable Elijah Mohammed!)The "Friends" version ( I *pity* the fool who messes *with* my syntax). *Must Stop*, *Too Many* Possibilities for B.A humour...(yep, I did spell Jaclyn Smith wrong on purpose up above, I know you are jealous of my connection with her but, you may stop e-mailing me *now*. you know who you are...Freak!)

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 09, 2000 5:08:29 AM CDT

    Charlie's Whores

    by roj blake

    At least it got your attention. I'm so bored with Hollywood's whorish and endless repackaging of old material that wasn't really very good in the first place. And of course, do they ever even TRY to raise it above the level of the original? Rarely. I might be OK with that - I've always said that if you're gonna remake an old idea, use one that failed somehow and try to improve on it - I hope Burton's "The Vistor" is a good movie, but come on - it'll be real tough to improve on anything that's as cool as the original Planet of the Apes. Screenwriters don't even have to think anymore, because the rewriting of bad cop shows from the 70's is obviously preferable to anything remotely new or fresh.

    I mean, doesn't ANYBODY else out there see the inherent phoniness in a filmed remake of a TV show from the 70's that has the GALL to rip off sequences and styles from a filmed remake - sequel!! - of a TV show from the 60's?? Charlie's Angels lensed in late spring/early summer, right? It's as if the suits/writers/director/producers all nipped out for a long lunch and all attended the same afternoon screening of MI:2 and the clouds opened up, the sun came steaming down like a trickle of urine and lo and behold - there was the solution that had so eluded them for the past two months. It's just another chink in the armor of Hollywood and the further dumbing down of American cinema and cinema EVERYWHERE for that matter, as half of the world watches only the shite we spew forth anyway. Am I utterly alone on this one?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 09, 2000 5:28:32 AM CDT

    Cannot stem the flow of A-Team related musings...

    by alien gonzales

    ...Now I dont want to get off on a rant here but, like how come they would always get locked in a hut with nothing but a couple of bean cans and a jews harp but somehow through sheer force of will and the laws of televisual contrivance they would end up building a F**kin armoured truck out it. And why did the bad guys never confiscate the welding gear when they locked Hannibal and Co in a shed full of sheet metal OldsMobiles and discarded, Bazooka shaped pipes. I'll tell you why. cuz if they left out all the convenient building materials and low roofs from which to perform woefully unconvincing "attack Leaps", There would be nothing left but Hammy acting paper thin plots, badly delivered one liners and a guy who talks to golf balls. you can get most of that in proffesional wrestling. But that is what makes "The(Friggin)A-Team", the single greatest television program in the history of mankind! Now that's just my opinion, I may be wrong...

    Reply to Talkback

  • This site is really the only place where people don't like the film, it was terrific!! You're all on crack people love the film!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Okay. Now I'm just lying. Then again, it wasn't as bad as, say, Coyote Ugly... but at least Coyote Ugly had something going for it... namely, it was a lot of fun making fun of it and tormenting the 12 yr. old girls in front of us who thought it was *good*. LOL... someone actually praised the plot... anyway. This is just a tangent to the tangent I actually want to focus on. WLB... okay. Sorry. But it did suck. It was slow, boring, slow, boring, drawn out, boring, slow, contrived, fake, slow, boring. The one little gag @ the party was kinda funny. But that was the high point of the film. My main problem with it (excluding the bad acting, terrible plot, magic hair, and twists that had absolutely no reason for existing and only left me trying to think about how exactly Harrison faking electrocution helped him, etc. etc.) was this... why wouldn't it just end? Why did it keep going? And going... like the bad plot energizer bunny had been writing the script. In conclusion, What Lies Beneath was the WORST movie ever... no wait... flash backs to the incessant streaming of Michelle Pfeiffer's feet... nasty... nasty... why? why the feet? ahhh... Maybe it was the worst movie ever.
    Stand out of my sun ~ Diogenes

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 09, 2000 11:26:50 AM CDT

    Sorry it WAS a good movie!!!

    by gilmour

    Michelle Pfeiffer's acting was bad? please she carried the movie and was terrific. It was meant to be slow and was only boring if you have no attention span. I wonder if so many people on this site would hate it so much if thoses stupid early reviews wouldn't have come in here. This has turned into a site that will now hate everything Harrison Ford does.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 09, 2000 12:11:58 PM CDT

    Please, let's stop fighting!

    by i love fox!

    Let's find one thing upon which we can all agree: that Gilmour is the dumbest creature on god's green earth. "Thoses?" I didn't know it was possible, Gilmour, but you're actually getting dumber!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 09, 2000 12:28:00 PM CDT

    Excuse me for the TYPO!!!!

    by gilmour

    Geeze get off my ass it was an accident!!! I know one thing I DON'T lOVE FOX!!! He can F*CK OFF. And we can all agree you are an asshole.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 09, 2000 4:01:15 PM CDT

    Just look at the box office numbers for WLB and realize that jus

    by geekbasher 3.0

    I agree Charlie's Angels will have a HUGE opening! This looks too fun to pass up!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 09, 2000 9:24:50 PM CDT

    Harry, no REALMENTE hablas espanol!

    by delfin

    First of all; "the movie" is not "la cine". That refers to the actual theater (I think). You should say "la pelicula". Weird cause it sounds like french for "la pelicule" but actually means the movie not the actual film. Anyway; believe me Harry; doing a spanish chick does not allow you to pretend to speak the language. As for Charlie's Angels... it probably will be a huge hit for the same reasons people will go see (that "pedazo de mierda") Coyote Ugly. Seems a director's job has become obsolete and it's all about casting now. If they're cute enough people will come! Pun not really intended... As for me; I'm not fooled; if I see Barrymore on the street; I'll tell her she would have served humanity better by doing porno (we all thought about it guys, admit it!) and I will not be scared of no 334384 feet axe kick cause I'm sick of Hollywood turning sissies like Tom Cruise into better-than-Shaolin-Monks martial artists badasses! Cruise is not an action star! I don't care how the special effects make him look like he would not last 15 seconds in a ring against Jackie Chan! Same for those chicks. They can't fight. Don't try to kame me believe it with an new rehash of an old T&A TV series. Lesbian content might have changed my mind however!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Aug 09, 2000 11:04:46 PM CDT

    Oh you Guys! All the juicy Lesbo-a-Go-Go stuff happened Off-Came

    by junior d-girl

    Drew we know is bi-sexual, but did you know that Cameron Diaz and Lucy Liu are now going at it in real life?? Oh yes my horny little munchkins, Cameron and Lucy were photographed in Los Angeles magazine kissing backstage at the MTV Movie Awards and they do make quite the cute couple if I do say so myself...Enjoy the movie and doubly enjoy your fanboy fantasies, I get to enjoy the real thing at Girl Bar in West Hollywood. Tah-tah boys...:-)

    Reply to Talkback

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