Movie News


Published at: Nov. 11, 2013, 10:44 a.m. CST by ambush bug

Logo by Kristian Horn
What the &#$% is ZOMBIES & SHARKS?

Greetings. Ambush Bug here with the winners for three contests I ran on the week of Halloween!

First is the MANIAC Contest I ran to commemorate the film that made the top of my BEST OF AICN HORROR 2013 List . I asked readers to send in their thoughts on who would win in a fight between the maniac himself Frank Zito (played by Elijah Wood), Kevin from SIN CITY (Elijah Wood), and Frodo Baggins (Elijah Wood). These two will be receiving a BluRay or the Mondo poster of MANIAC!

Joel Gonzalez won the BluRay with this creepy submission: Running through the forest, Frodo struggles to stay ahead of his attacker. He quickly finds a small place to hide grasping his chest which has been deeply cut. Kevin follows the trail of blood left behind but it suddenly goes cold. He sits down, nods at his pet wolf, and waits. Moments later he hears the wolf howl, but when he arrives he pauses and just stares. The wolf is covered in a sea of blood, with the head scalped and multiple stab wounds to the abdomen and back. He kneels and bites into the neck of the wolf letting the blood drip down his chin. When he's finished he withdraws into the shadows. Frodo, unable to bear the pain of his wound, comes out of his hiding place and carefully looks around. Soon after he comes across the remains of the wolf and covers his mouth in disgust. He suddenly feels a warm breath on his neck and slowly turns around. He's unable to look away at the eyes staring back at him, which seem to glow in the dark. Those big blue eyes just stare at him and just as he's about to scream he's stabbed in the throat letting out nothing but a gurgling sound. Frank tightens his grip and strokes Frodo's curly hair as he begins to cut away at the scalp letting the blood slowly cascade. He lets the body fall to the ground and stuffs the headpiece in his pocket. A drop of blood falls on Frank's face and before he has time to look up Kevin jumps down with claws extended. He's able to block the attack with his knife, but Kevin gracefully back flips and slowly circles Frank.Frank lunges toward Kevin, but is unable to keep up with his rapid movements and is kicked in the back of the head and once more in the face causing his nose to shatter and blood to spray in every direction. Kevin uses this opportunity to pounce on Frank and digs his claws deep into his stomach. Frank screams in pain but is able to stab Kevin multiple times, before kicking him off. Frank slowly gets up as Kevin realizes he is done playing with his food and pulls out a hatchet. With a swift blow, Frank's head flies across the night leaving his body to fall to the ground. Kevin begins to feast on the body as bones break and flesh tears. When he's done he holds the severed head and stares at it with his cold eyes. Another trophy for his collection. Winner: Kevin

And Brad Bindson get this one because he dared mention Radio Flyer in his; Kevin in Sin City would win in a fight because he is faster than the speed of a tiny hobbit and powerful enough to kick the ass of any mannequin loving creeper in sight with his shoes of doom. The real winner of the fight though would be DJ Elijah Wood, who would smash their skulls with his turntables, and then roll the bloody bodies away in his red radio flyer.

Next up are the winners for THE BELL WITCH Novel Contest. My pal BottleImp will be offering up a review of THE BELL WITCH later in the week, but these guys are going to be able to check out copies of John FD Taff’s books THE BELL WITCH and LITTLE DEATHS Anthology. I asked readers to complete this sentence, “I’m afraid to read because…” Here are the winners!

Jacob Lewis will receive a physical copy of both books; “I’m afraid to read because I can't imagine the sentences I have been compelled to write on my walls using the blood of the still-born mean anything positive.”

Mark Harwood will be receiving physical copies of both books as well; “I'm afraid to read because the ink in these rotting pages seems to dance, to wriggle like blow flies, whenever the corners of my too-thin lips curl at the journal's wicked descriptions.”

Matt Weber will get an online copy of the books; “I am afraid to read because of how I was affected by the book by Stoker, with my sleep-walking and what I apparently did to my wife’s neck, and how I can’t seem to recall any of it.”

And Joel Thomas gets an online copy of the books too with this one; “I am afraid to read because I hvae Dyslexia. But smoetimse the wrods look “right”… like MURDER and BUTCHER. When he tkaes over and it lal makes snese. He deosn’t hvae the prolbems I do… But when I raed, he makes me see thigns claelrly. Su ghpppquioeb… As a matter of fact, he’s reading what I’m writing. Just now. He said the books would be a great source of inspiration. HE must win. I maen… We… I should.

Finally, the last contest is for the fantastically entertaining festival of bullets, boobs, and blood BOUNTY KILLER. I ran this contest asking readers to finish this sentence; “The last time I had a bounty on my head…” The below winners will be receiving a copy of the Bluray!

John Baker wins a BluRay for; “The last time I had a bounty on my head I took a digital picture of my step-dad and my mother in-law getting it on. Walked right in her bedroom while my stepdad was just starting to get busy, and took not one, but two pictures. As I was running out of the room, he tackled me and I threw the camera across the room. After a small scuffle, I brought the floppy-disk (13 years ago) to my friends house for safe keeping just in case I mysteriously got wacked. Good times.”

August Dougherty wins a BluRay for, “The last time I had a bounty on my head, I replaced it with a "Brawny" paper brother was "going to wipe the floor with me" anyways and I wanted the job to get done right. Sucks being the little brother, doesn't it?!”

Be sure to check out all three of these horror tales, they’re all top tier in terror. Congratulations to all who won and look for more AICN HORROR every Friday!

Find more AICN HORROR including an archive of previous columns on AICN HORROR’s Facebook page!

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