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I. C. Moovies loathes WHAT LIES BENEATH
Hey folks, Harry here. You should know that this review is scathing, but you should be aware that it is a mere saline solution when compared to the venom and acidic hatred that the dear Professor Moriarty has for WHAT LIES BENEATH. However... Not everyone shares this hatred, I talked to Jeffrey Wells over at Reel.Com the other day and he liked it, didn't say it was perfect, but it was his fave Zemeckis film since USED CARS... That being said... the script was pretty weak throughout the development of this film. The word has been alternately miserable and... passable. I wish it was otherwords. I am one of Zemeckis' biggest supporters, and God Knows I would love to see Harrison Ford get out of this slump he's in. Here's the review...
Welcome back, Harry.
I. C. Moovies is in the house.
All the time lurker here, who's deciding to share my thoughts with you on a
film I saw Friday that starred my favorite film hero of my childhood. And it
ain't pretty. Or cool. And neither are my feelings right now.
My review of What Lies Beneath. Non-Spoilers. Screened at the Academy
Theater, in California, on 7/14/00.
Time for Harrison Ford to retire? Poor Harrison. What a lousy year this has
been for him. First he whimpers away from Soderbergh's Traffic because it
would have been too difficult for him. He then passes on Gemini which would
have given us two Ford's for the price of one, with Matrix style
special-effects and killer action sequences and an exciting new character for
him to develop. Then he walks away from one of his safest (read: money in the
box office bank) film roles = Jack Ryan. What's he going to do when his
romantic films keep bombing? Time for the man to make a change. Either fire
his agent Patricia McQueeney he's had for ages, and who's not helping his
career anymore, or start making some damn better film role choices. Yeah,
yeah, I know, he's the biggest box office draw in the entire history of
motion pictures, and will be for a very very long time because of his total
grosses. But if he keeps making films like Random Hearts, 6 Days, 7 Nights,
The Devil's Own, Sabrina, and now What Lies Beneath in the future, the
studios are gonna start paying him to stop making movies. Period!
And now to the mess at hand:
What Lies Beneath is an example movie. An example as what not to do with a
film, as my film professor would explain.
By now many of who that are reading this know of the plot behind this
hideously awful movie. 'He was the perfect husband until his one mistake
followed them home.' That's what the mini-movie called this film's trailer
told us at every screening of every film playing this summer at every
multiplex.
Harrison Ford (as Professor Norman Spencer) and Michelle Pfeiffer (as Claire
Spencer) star as a married couple troubled by one of Harrison's flings from
his past. Only thing is, get ready for this, the former fling is "supposedly"
a ghost returning to haunt Harrison's character and/or Michelle's. Yada yada
yada. But, what you see in the trailer isn't totally what you see in the
film. There are some, uh, twists. Big surprise there. The twists are some of
the most unintentional funny ones I have seen since the wonderful 1998 dark
comedy Wild Things. Only thing though, that Bill Murray film was meant to
elicit an audible laughing response from the audience. With this pitiful
film, you laugh at this stinker because of its stupidity in filmmaking and
acting and writing, and mostly because you feel embarrassed for everyone
involved in the creation of this mess.
The film has its moments though. Mostly thanks to Robert Zemeckis' straight
on direction, and his cinematographer's camera work. Zemeckis can even make
the worst set up scenes seem passable. And Michelle Pfeiffer carries the film
with her beautiful looks, and her talent as a reliable actor who knows how to
emote, even in the most awkward of film moments. Harrison Ford could learn
some of these traits from Pfeiffer. Michelle is hands-down a more believable
emoter and screen presence than old Ford has been in the last few years.
Where this film is lacking is in two crucial departments. One: acting.
Harrison Ford has got to decide how he wants to spend the remaining years of
his dying film career. Is he going to make every film of his a romantic
flick? Whether it be in the form of a thriller, drama, or comedy? When
Harrison was on top of the world is when he was doing what he always did
best. Thrilling & pleasing audiences with his killer looks, lopsided grin,
and playing the daredevil space pirate, detective, archeologist, replicant
hunter, fugitive, CIA agent, the president and the like. He was always
creating new on-screen personas. What Lies Beneath is one of his many new god
awful bland performances in his sagging career of late. The man has no
expression anymore. The wood pile in my backyard has more charisma than
Harrison Ford has had in the last 6 years.
Problem 2: The script. Whomever at Dreamworks (the studio behind this gem)
greenlit this turkey based on what they read in Clark Gregg's screenplay
needs to be shipped off to an island far, far away. Better yet, sent off to
live among the cast of Survivor and forced to eat rats for the remainder of
his/her life. This film contains some of the most absurd dialogue to be
spurted out on screen since 1995s Showgirls. One scene on a bridge in
particular, includes a cell phone. And the dialogue that comes out of one
character's mouth wins this year's funniest line, on par with last year's
"kill, kill" from the talking-to-the-dog scene in Summer Of Sam.
After Battlefield Earth in May, I thought John Travolta's film would be the
sole worst film of the year. Heck, the new millennium. What Lies Beneath may
very well steal that title from Travolta's science fiction yarn.
1/2 star out of 4.
I. C. Moovies - who really really really misses the Harrison Ford that seems
to have disappeared sometime after his last Jack Ryan film in 1994 (and
slightly resurfaced in the 1997 hit Air Force One). Can anyone tell me where
he went?
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+ Expand All
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So you can't really compare it to battlefield Earth. It will attract a large adult audience and the trailer I thought was pretty effective.
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too bad about the harrison ford/ benecio del toro project falling through. Like the taxi driver head, though...
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I feel that I don't deserve the standing.
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"Ghost, you leave us alone!"
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"biggest box office draw of all time?" please. ford got lucky because when he was a nobody people plugged him into generic flicks like star wars and indiana jones. you telling me nobody else could have played han solo or dr. jones? ANYBODY could have played both roles -- the first films of both franchises had the most generic characters in all of film sequeldom. ford should wake up in the morning and worship a giant statue of george lucas every friggin' day that he's still alive on this world, because without that man (NOT ford), ford would never have the career that he's had.
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I agree that Ford does not have a wide range of acting ability, but no one else could have played Indiana Jones. Sure he plays the same character over and over again, but so did John Wayne. I mean there are a lot of actors who could've played Wayne's character in "The Searchers", but it would ceace to be the same character, just like Indianna Jones. I shudder at the thought of Tom Selleck in that role, shudder. But, this movie looks reeeaaaalll bad.
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That's funny stuff, Dimitri!
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Jul 17, 2000 3:36:41 PM CDT
Behold the Mighty Zemeckis, he has done struck out with this tur
by bari umenema
One shitty review after another here on AICN -- this can only mean one thing: What Blows Beneath is a shitty shitty movie. Now I won't even see it on video, I'll just wait 'til it's on network TV, maybe the commercials will make it watchable. And the next time I tell you guys based on the trailer that it looks like it's a USA Cable Movie or something that should've gone straight to video were it not for the Star Power of its Cast and the Director, maybe you'll believe me instead of flaming me... Boycott this Movie and save your money for "Cast Away" which Does Look Great and Wonderful...
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Jul 17, 2000 3:40:28 PM CDT
Pre-S to SKubrick, go back to the Jo Blo Board right now and rea
by bari umenema
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Thanks. I did my impression at the theater the other night during that godawful trailer and had my friend in hysterics. I couldn't stop laughing at myself either. :-) I might have to see this film just to see if Ford actually uses the famous finger point. I was trying to get back to that tribute page today, but the link doesn't seem to be working.
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Okay, I witnessed the mini-movie called a "trailer" for What Lies Beneath and all I can think is, what lies beneath this crap must be some serious blackmail. Why else would they make it? *********Furthermore, on what planet does Castaway look good? Tom Hanks, playing fat FedEx stock tom hanks boring character is married to boring Helen Hunt. His plane crashes. Wow, some trailer. Gee, seems great. I actually heard people saying that at the theater the other night.."Wow, that Castaway looks intense." Based on fucking what?!!!
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Well, I will say one thing. The poster for this movie is REEEALLLY cool. I mean it definitely rips off Psycho but it still looks pretty chilling.
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Jul 18, 2000 1:02:31 AM CDT
Cast Away Looks Fuckin' Great!! What Sucks Beneath looks Fuckin
by bari umenema
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Bari Umen...whatsthename..
Quit going on and on about how lousy this is and how "great" Castaway is. Is the the ravings of a demented Tom Hanks fan????? I certainly think so. Hanks is way overrated and both Ford and Pfeiffer are very underrated, especially with the Academy who I think spends 364 days with Hanks in bed just to get up and go to the Oscars! Seriously his past movies have all been farces. Say what you will, but have you read reviews of Beneath OUTSIDE OF THIS SITE? I thought not. The positive reviews outnumber the negative. This site is anti Ford anti Beneath. You might actually wanna study more of the films reviews before saying what you say. Go read other site reviews and see that over 80% are positive.
Just so you'd know The Green Mile opened to mixed reviews and why it got nominated for a Best Picture Oscar is beyond loads of critics. Then again Titanic beat LA Confidential to the prize, so enough said!
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I saw it last night and I bust a nut. It was great!!!!!
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I hate to point this out but ol bob is not such a fab director.Back to the future was cool but Speilberg had his hands in that one (three). Forrest Gump had the horrible jokes right in the middle...same for Contact. Two hours of plot development and right when Jodie is about to blast in space. In comes the blind guy with a bit about how bad polo smells. Way to destroy a moment. He throws lame jokes in to keep the masses quietly munching popcorn. He fears any thing remotely challanging. Bob is pretty much void of any artistic merit. Now that is not such a bad thing, look at the films of Mike Bay, and Simon West and so forth but then again they are not Oscar winners. Not that winning a Oscar is the sign of artistic merit, but Zemickis could try to jump a little higher.
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Because it would seem that since it's a review for What Lies Beneath, you would go into the film first, and then start in on Harry's career tanking. As it were, it just looks like you have it out for the guy which makes me wonder why you even saw the film in the first place.
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Jul 18, 2000 5:38:28 PM CDT
That Castaway trailer has been met by a deafening silence from t
by superninja
Helen Hunt needs to go away -- she's so annoying! "Hello?! Is anyone there?!" The real laughs came when someone yelled out, "Where are the naked chicks?"
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