Game of Thrones 3.1 FAQ
What’s it called?
“Valar Dohaeris.”
Who’s responsible?
Teleplay is credited to series masterminds David Benioff and D.B. Weiss.
What says HBO?
“Jon is brought before Mance Rayder, the King Beyond the Wall, while the Night’s Watch survivors retreat south. In King’s Landing, Tyrion asks for his reward. Littlefinger offers Sansa a way out. Cersei hosts a dinner for the royal family. Daenerys sails into Slaver’s Bay.”
Is it great?
Oh yes. The best series on television will not let you down tonight.
Does Littlefinger offer Sansa a way out with his penis?
Not this week. But Lord Baelish does bring Lady Sansa quite interesting news this week.
The big news?
One of the more compelling storylines, in tonight’s episode and those beyond, focuses on Margaery Tyrell (Natalie Dormer), gay Renly Baratheon’s former bride. Following Renly’s unpleasant demise at the hands of Melissandre’s crotch-creature, Margaery found herself betrothed at the end of last season to the sadistic child-king Joffrey.
What else is HBO not telling us?
The episode closes with Daenerys Stormborn Targaryen, and in quite entertaining fashion.
How does it start?
It picks up very near where season two left off, with Samwell fleeing zombies and whatnot. “Brother!” is the first line of dialogue.
What’s great?
The Slaver’s Bay translator and her loutish master. Tyrion’s tense first post-battle meeting with his sister generally and the rumor about his nose in particular. Charles Dance as Tywin Lannister, the new King’s Hand, generally, and his sit-down with Tyrion in particular. The striking visual effect that precedes Jon Snow’s first meeting with wildling king Mance Rayder. Bronn’s nibbling. Joffrey peering out of his conveyance. Dany’s hungry dragons and less-hungry Dothraki entourage. The Obi-Wan-ish kingsguard and the tiny girl. “They say she sang to them as they burned.” “It’s not slander if it’s true.” “Full of envy, lust and low cunning.” “We can’t all have a king’s bravery.” “No, not truly.”
What’s not so great?
No Theon, Jaime, Brienne, Bran, Osha, Hodor, Varys, Hound or Arya this first episode back.
How does it end, spoiler boy?
“I will not fail you again.”
9 p.m. Sunday. HBO.
