Hey folks, Harry here... This is a film that... well I've heard stories about just complete improving takes on set, wild manic insanity and playing fast and loose. That's either a concoction of poison or just maybe... it's gonna have a wild energy that folks love. What we have here are two reviews from opposite sides of the street. The first is a positive review... and he liked it. The second is Darth Siskel who loathed it. Who is right? Well you'll have to decide for yourself, but I can tell you that neither is a shill. If you have a major car fetish... well, this film is gonna do some things for ya that it won't for others. Personally, I've been working on fixing up a 1953 Red and White 4 door Chevy BelAir, and I don't want it hotrodded... I want it to be all stock. But until I get the carb worked out, it's just a really cool thing to sit in. And I don't get to drive it till I weigh 250 lbs. It's my motivational tool. Till then... Father Geek drives it. And I loathe him for it, and it keeps me eating sprouts and walking endless laps in the summer sun. Must drive cool car. Anyways... I see this one tomorrow night... which I guarantee will have an interesting pre-write up... But for now... here's a pair of pair of eyes to tell ya what your wondering...

Hey Harry,

Just got back from the sneak preview of "Gone in 60 Seconds" at the Cinemark at 635 in Dallas. By no means am I a pro at this so I will give it to you straight. I liked it. I did not love it, and I did not get that adrenaline rush I expected. The story is solid with good character development and pacing. The dialog was a little tired, but this ain't Shakespeare. I like Giovanni Ribisi enough, but his voice is kind of whiny to be considered a tough guy. But then again, Nick Cage is cool, but does not ooze cool like McQueen did. What is the big deal about Angelina Jolie? She is sooo skinny and those lips? Delroy Lindo and Robert Duvall made this movie a better movie. And of course the cars. Beautiful. The cars in this movie were unbelievable. However brief, you could hear the "tim allen" grunts of pleasure whenever a JaguarXJ220, Lamborghini Diablo, Ferrari F355 Spyder, '49 Mercury, 56 T'Bird, I could go on and on. Until finally the star of the movie. Eleanor. A tricked '67 Ford Shelby 500 Mustang GT with nitrous pack. I am not a car fanatic, but I am a fan. And the cars were a great show, but they could have used more screen time. And finally the chase. It will probably win next years MTV movie awards for best chase, or at the very least be nominated. This is where the movie fell short with me. Mr. Sena spent too much time up close on Nick and Delroy and could have benefited by pulling back and giving us more than a peak. Where were the helicopter shots. The kind where we see the car weave in an out of traffic. The kind that forces you to sway in your seat. How many shots of Nick's foot on the clutch do we need? I'll admit it was intense, but I never really got that feeling of "Whoa!". It was missing that something that made the chases in "Ronin" and "The Rock" special. Other than the disappointing chase seen, I was very satisfied. I will recommend this to friends with a special nod to the car enthusiest. Well, that is my 2 cents, thanks for listening and thanks for the site, it's a true movie fansite.

Call me Eskimo Joe.

Peace and Cheese Fries for all.

Here's long time AICNer taking a look at GONE IN SIXTY SECONDS which ol Darth Siskel seems to absolutely loathe. Read on... it gets rough from here...BEWARE OF SPOILERS...

Harry,

Several weeks ago I saw a screening of GONE IN SIXTY SECONDS. I've been putting off reviewing it because I wanted to forget about the experience. But with it's release coming any day now, I feel compelled to warn people not to waste their cash. I know you like to hear both sides, but I don't think you'll be getting any positive reviews for this one!

So far, "Gone in Sixty Seconds" is the worst movie of the year and easily the worst Bruckheimer movie I've ever seen. This movie makes Mission Impossible II look a whole lot better.

THE STORY

Story? This movie has to have one of the dumbest premises since 'I Still Know What You Did Last Summer'!

Nic Cage is the greatest car thief that ever lived. Of course he's retired, until his tard jackass younger brother, played by the annoying Giovani Ribisi owes some British mobster car thief shop owner a bunch of money. The mobster guy is a carpenter. I think that's what's supposed to make him a 'character' and not just a cardboard standee. Anyway, he shows Cage a hand carved coffin he made, implying Ribisi would be in it unless Cage steals 50 cars in 48 hours or some nonsense. Cage agrees to do it, and the little brother is then freed!!! I SAY, WHAT THE FUCK !? The next scene is Cage & Ribisi cooking eggs in their house! Why they don't just leave town is beyond all reason!!

In this movie, ACADEMY AWARD WINNER Nicolas Cage is damn unlikable. Maybe I'm just sick of him, but everyone I went with seemed to agree. He is the hero of the movie, and his character is as generic as they come. He's basically the same guy from the last 3 action movies he did, with even less backstory. Besides feeling the need to turn to crime to save his brother, there is one car that he was never able to steal. It's his holy grail. You know that by the end of the movie, he's going to steal it, or die trying. Is this believable? Absofuckinglutely not. But then, not a thing in this movie makes sense.

What about Jolie ? First, do not be fooled by the movie posters. ACADEMY AWARD WINNER Angelina Jolie does not look that good in the movie. In fact, in this movie she looks for lack of better words, like a 'crack whore'. Do not see the movie on her account...unless you dig the heroine addict look.

Cage gathers together Jolie & a host of other car thieves and former car thieves to take on the impossible task of stealing the 50 cars. What we get is an assortment of fuckups, punk kids, old geezers, hackers & drunks to help Cage break the law. Of course, the cars are the most expensive, rare, exotic sports cars in the city, the cops are onto them, and they only have 48 hours, but this gang is going to need to pull it off, otherwise Ribisi's shiftless ass is dead.

ACADEMY AWARD WINNER Robert Duvall must've had a fucking gun to his head during every take. Throughout the whole movie he looks like he's in one of those hostage videos where the American is forced to denounce the U.S. He must've been payed bank to do this crap movie. Robert, spend some of it on getting wasted before the premiere. It may save yourself some embarrassment.

Yet another actor I'm sick of seeing, Delroy Lindo (Mr. Potato Head) plays the cop bent on busting Cage. This guy wants to bust Cage so badly, but since he's in the bullshit universe created for this movie, the cops can't spot $400,000 yellow Lamborghini's racing at top speed down the desolate streets at night.

This movie is so ridiculous, at one point the cops are parked right outside Cage & Co's garage. This is the place they have a giant planning board setup with a list of all the cars that they need to steal. They leave the door cracked open & the police can look right inside. But it doesn't matter! The police just can't catch them stealing any of the 50 cars, no matter how recklessly the cars are taken.

So you can read this review in 60 seconds, and I can get on with my life, let me cut to the chase.

In the end, all the cars are stolen except one. It's old glory, the holy grail or whatever the shit is called in this movie. It's the car Cage has wanted to steal all his career. The one that got away. The cops finally catch him in the act, and a long car chase ensues, where Cage almost kills about 100 innocent pedestrians. Not even the police helicopter can catch him, and just when you think Cage is cornered, he uses the car's patented "TURBO BOOST" and escapes.

Eventually, Lindo catches up to Cage at the baddie carpenter mobster guy's warehouse. Even though Cage delivered all the cars to the guy on time, the british bastard carpenter couldn't just be thankful. His goons try to bust a cap in Cage's ass, and Cage battles the carpenter mobster, who screams like a bitch when Cage destroys some of his handmade furniture. They were like his children after all. He screams "Nooooooooooo!!!" And Cage kills the guy, saving Lindo's life in the process. Of course, the mob guy plummets to his death, ending up in the precious coffin he carved himself. About half a dozen mobsters that guarded the place just seemed to vanish. They must've fallen through one of the plot holes.

Lindo, owing Cage his life, decides to let Cage go! Forget that Cage caused millions in damage, led the police on a high speed chase through downtown, and almost killed a bunch of people. He's the hero !!

Because watching this movie was similar to a experiencing a traumatic event such as rape, murder, or an airline crash, much of this movie was blocked from my memory for my protection.

Is it at least a good popcorn summer movie ? I don't believe in such a thing, but this isn't that anyway. The story is pitiful. The acting is lame. Not even the action is good. It may look well photographed; after all, Bruckheimer produced it, but avoid it at all costs. This is this year's Godzilla. Gone is Sixty Seconds is PISS POOR on every level.

Darth Siskel