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Ephron & Travolta's NUMBERS doesn't look good' So says Jack Foley
Man... Harry here. I have no doubt that this fella didn't dig Nora Ephron's latest film.... it seemed to really smell of raunchy meat, but ya know... I've run into alot of people that don't like any Nora Ephron movies ever... and I'm not one of those people. Now... her last film with Travolta was the abysmally bad flick.... MICHAEL... which, though shot in Austin and the film kept my father out of jail for outstanding late fees on Akira Kurosawa's RAN... well, it stunk BAAaaaaaaaAAAAD! Is there a cursed relationship on screen when Ephron and Travolta work, or was it a lingering trance? Hmmmm... we may never know.
Harry,
There's been many times that I've wanted to write after a screening, but I
haven't had much to warn the world about. But now that I've seen John
Travolta's new film
"Numbers" at Paramount last night, I really must warn all of you: Stay Away!
It's
worse than that damn virus in M:I 2 (and the rest of M:I 2 as well).
Here's the most simple plot summary I could write:
It's based on a true story about a weatherman (Travolta) who's losing money
from bad investments. He and his girlfriend (Lisa Kudrow), who is the
Lottery Girl, hatch a plan to rig the lottery to pay off debts and get rich.
They involve Kudrow's perverted cousin (played by Michael Moore of "Roger and
Me") who will cash in the ticket. After he asks for more money, Kudrow
"kills" him by refusing to give him his inhaler for an asthma-like reaction.
She steals the ticket from him. The station manager (Ed O'Neil) discovers a
rigged lotto ball and confronts Kudrow and Travolta. He wants in on the
money, too.
Sooooo....after much more double crossing, a nervous Travolta sells the
ticket for Ed
O'Neil for $100,000, and decides to bail town. Travolta gets into a
tractor-trailor (too much to explain) accident trying to leave town. When
Pullman comes to help, Travolta runs, gets caught and spills his guts.
Let me catch my breath now. Yesterday, word came out that Paramount is
pushing this back, with many guessing it's because of the bad press from
Battlefield Earth. But I can tell you the real reason: this movie
sucks...THATS RIGHT, IT SUCKS! The first twenty minutes are mildly amusing,
but the pacing starts to bog this film down. It's the slowest, most painful
two hours I've experienced in a long time.
Many of the jokes rely Travolta being a local celebrity and somewhat of a
loser.
Early on, when he's got an ego, Travolta is pretty funny. But when the shit
hits the fan and he starts going downhill, he just stinks. Travolta's strong
suit is playing cool, slick, charming guys like he did in Pulp Fiction and
Get Shorty. This is not one of them.
Kudrow's character was ditzy, dumb, greedy and didn't make me chuckle once.
The character was annoyingly bad.
Tim Roth and Michael Moore are the only two things that I didn't mind. Roth,
as
usual, does well, playing a strip-bar owner, but has nothing to do with his
character. He's not a funny character, just playing a guy who seems to try
to solve people's problems by having others killed. Michael Moore is funny
in his brief role. His character was stupid and goofy, but it was the only
part in the film that I laughed at.
Michael Rappaport, Bill Pullman and Ed O'Neill contribute nothing to this
film
whatsoever. Rappaport plays a dumb thug, O'Neil plays a sleazy guy and
Pullman,
and eccentric cop, roles that they've all done before.
This film is a waste of time, talent, energy, and money. It tries to be
Fargo/Cohen
Brothers-esque, but fails on all levels. It's dark humor is more lame than
funny.
That log of crap Battlefield Earth made me laugh more than this did.
Stay away! Please!
Later,
Jack Foley
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+ Expand All
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He should get an emergency auditing to scare off the thetan that's hindering his professional judgement. Don't let the psychlo-ologists fool you, it has nothing to do with ego.
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That he can get laid. It's terrible...Oh, about the review, I'm sorry but where was this screening? Los Angeles? Nyc? East Jockstrap Ohio? C'mon...What about a point in the film we did not know about already?
That is NOT to say he was lying, but most of it is how bad it is and generalizations. I can whip up my review for ep 2. Ready?
Anakin and the queen marry. Now, personally, I did not feel the moment. It was too, oh, what's the word, cliched, right, and uh, well, uh, I felt that the clone wars were overdramatic. Especially the way the jedi were killed and the way the music played with it. Yeah, right that sucked...
Oh, but here's a spoiler. 'Enrique', the stereotypical spanish jedi, played by Jimmy Smits does not have a lot of screen time. He plays a jedi, but is in the toilet most of the film due to a bad bean burrito...his one line? "Yo querro Taco bell" Well, he got his wish and feels the force of a mighty bean burrito. I swear, if I go one day without the squirts with that God damn. taco bell, I'd have a geekasm...(MODERATOR- I STILL LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!)
He has to say that as ep2 is produced by taco bell. You didn't know that? Oh, absolutely, I know this due to my 'inside sources'.
Anyway, all in all, ep2 sucked.
See my point? What I want to know about NUMBERS is WHY the other characters played by Oneil, Pullman, and Roth suck. What do they do? What SHOULD they have done? Where did it go wrong?
What were you expecting? How did it let you down. What events made it suck? Was it due to poor comic execution, bad timing, what? How does the execution match with the theme of the film?
This is not to criticize the reviewer, but I can pull a review like this out of my ass, and presto, I'm an 'insider'
...oh, christ, I'm wasting valuable porn time...if you'll excuse me I have some important masturbating to do...
"Kincaid has spoken! Continue my filthy manimals..." -
Well apparently Travolta is back to picking bad films. What was his last good film anyway? Somebody get Tarantino on the phone quick.
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Travolta should be licking Tarentino's ASS every god damn day! Ol' Quintin gave him his life back..and how does he repay the world...by acting like a fucking PUSSY, demanding 20 mill per movie? WHAT THE FUCK? Johnny hasn't made a decent movie since GET SHORTY....He's a hack, a fuck, and I wish..NAY, PRAY, He goes back to making Look Who's Talking pieces of SHIT...Cuz' that's all he's worth.
BEYOTCH!
Oh..and he likes to do L.Ron Hubbard in the 'No-No Spot'!
Zybeck says BYE BYE -
what's the motherfuckin' deal, I can't get in LiveChat 'cos its says I'm banned from server.
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Jun 03, 2000 5:36:00 AM CDT
I can't believe you all are still blaming Travolta for forcing S
by yerallagainstme
...when you should be blaming Tom Cruise and his nihilistic Scientology-drenched MI2 for tainting the minds of the world! They pulled a fast one on us. They made everyone focus on Travolta while feeding us mindless dribble that was MI2 to a record box-office! Tom Cruise? scientologist. The virus? It was a metaphor for scientology. The love triangle? It's one of the first rules of scientology. Dougray Scott? He's really L. Ron Hubbard in the next life. Oh wait, wrong religion. Anywho, Numbers sounded dumb to me from the get-go, and I'm not in the least bit surprised this reviewer didn't like it.
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Is that a Cape Fear reference? Or is it "Harry from the Green Lagoon."? Help me out here, fellas.
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Wow. Al Bundy, the President, Superboy, Mr. Orange, the guy who directed a movie with Rhea Perlman, that girl who gets a million bucks an episode, and ol' what's his face cult guy all in one movie! Wow! And directed by the woman who wrote My Blue Heaven and directed Mixed Nuts! There's now NO doubt this movie is gonna rock some serious ass come this summer! No wait...this fall. Err...this winter? Uhh...I'm sure sometime within the next 3 or 4 years. But anyway, it's gonna rule...and lemme tell ya why. It's not gonna rule in that "Chips" or "Thunder in Paradise" way. It won't even rock in that "Due South" or, to a lesser extent, a "Mike O'Malley Show" way. But it's definitely gonna kick ass up there with "Who's the Boss?" or "Mr. Belvedere." But Numbers doesn't star Bob Eucker or Christopher Hewitt, so I guess it can't be all that great. Oh well...whatever. Back to muh widdlin'.
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The horror! The horror!
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Time for Travolta to have yet another comeback.
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I fear that John Travolta may be sliding back down to his 1980s period quality wise, certainly after Battlefield Earth. It's a shame if this is as bad as it's made out to be as it's got a great supporting cast (Kudrow, O'Neil, Roth, the great Michael Moore).
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Jun 03, 2000 10:37:01 AM CDT
Now let me get this straight...John Travolta gets $20 million do
by uncapie
Damn, where do I sign up for acting lessons? Better yet, let me go on a three day tequilla binger and I can write bad scripts too!
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Just getting into the "Apocalypse Now" swing of things, although Kurtz's quote could easily describe Travolta's career. Has anyone ever examined the possiblity that perhaps these movies are actually very good and we're just under the mind control of extraterrestrial Scientogical bad guys? And do you think there are Scientologists monitioring this page and taking our names down?
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I mean really, come on.
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WELL WHAT THE HELL MAKES YOU THINK YOU'RE SPECIAL?!!
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I'm sure you're probably right, seeing as how it is Nora Ephron after all. But isn't this the one written by Adam Resnick, who co-created Get a Life and wrote and directed CABIN BOY? There is a movie that people *claim* is bad, but can be scientifically proven to be wrong. It is one of the best comedies of the '90s and also one of the most widely hated. Am I being too optimistic by hoping that maybe this one is also worth seeing?
As for today's animation, I thought it was supposed to be a moving version of the Wild Things poster, where Denise Richards and Neve Campbell are rising up out of the water with their hair all slicked back like that. -
as far as i'm concerned, Travolta's career's been over for a long time now. but you know what, i could care less.
and to Fat Bastard: dude, you have too much time on your hands, don't write such long posts, ok? no one reads these boards anyway. good boy.
peace.A -
as far as i'm concerned, Travolta's career's been over for a long time now. but you know what, i could care less.
and to Fat Bastard: dude, you have too much time on your hands, don't write such long posts, ok? no one reads these boards anyway. good boy.
peace.A -
In Apocalypse Now, when Willard rises from the river (a foggy, slightly muddy river, not some sick diseased diarrhea run off), he turns his head slightly and there is a flash of lightning. And you can see his mouth. I usually dig the animations but this one's lack of detail really disappointed...
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For those of us who do enjoy the occasional Nora Ephron flick, even then she is hit or miss. When she's good, she's very good ("When Harry Met Sally" and "Sleepless in Seattle"), but when she's bad...it's unwatchable ("Mixed Nuts" and "Micheal").
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It seems to me like this Foley character has and agenda against all things Travolta and Ephron. This movie isn't "Fargo", but it isn't bad either, and the majority of the crowd on Thursday seemed to agree. And I don't think they were laughing just to kiss Ephron and Sherry Lansing's ass (both were in attendance). Paramount is wise to move this flick back because the stench from "Battlefield Earth" would certainly tarnish this flick. "Numbers" won't be a blockbuster, but it has the goods to become a modest hit.
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.......Be Vigilant
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Anybody who thinks anything else is a moron that lets themselves be brainwashed by the Hollywood bull shit machine. Tarantino put him in Pulp Fiction as a joke, one of his post-modern nods to all that was lame about the 70s, and all the idiots out there start going, "oh wow- he's made a comeback- let's put him in something else- he's a good actor now" etc, etc. Travolta being in Staurday Night Fever was perfect casting- he, like disco, is a prime example of everything that sucks about pop culture in America. Oh yeah- and Tom Hanks is nothing but a mediocre comedian that got incredibly lucky. Death to the 90s.
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And for >>YOU<< French carnivores -- Revolter! wee,wee ha,ha, ho,ho!
What makes us so special is we weren't suckers for supporting a lame A** cult! **
"Tom Hanks is nothing but a mediocre comedian that got incredibly lucky." Glad I'm not the only one who noticed that.**
(Kayo,"Momma said I'm gonna knock you out!) -
Would you believe our very own Harry Knowles was quoted in the DVD's insert? To quote: "It forces you to have dangerous thoughts, confront them as you would any problem before you and expects you as reasonable human being to come out with the right answers. -- Harry Knowles, AINT-IT-COOL-NEWS". I know it's off topic, but thought it was news worthy. Oh, and this Numbers movie sounds like crap.
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...supposed to be the Toad from the X-Men trailer?
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In defense of John Travolta: Sure, the guy is kind of a nutball (screwy religion), but is he a bad actor? I don't think so. Tarantino cast him in "Pulp Fiction" more as a homage than a goof, and in that movie he really came through. Anyone see "White Man's Burden?" "She's So Lovely?" These are post-Pulp Fiction movies that took pretty big risks. Okay, "Battlefield Earth" is an epic disaster. But I think this is more a reflection on Travolta as a filmmaker with hubris than an actor without talent or creativity. (And Nora Ephron ain't so bad either.) PS: I actually have an attention span and I read Fat Bastard/Chunky's satire. No worse a read than anything Harry has ever actually written, except for the fact that some parts of it were meanspirited (i.e., the fat jokes). This ruined it.
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Homburg: n. A man's felt hat with a stiff curled brim and a high crown creased lengthwise. Surely you've seen him in this hat. It's very stunning.
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All this negativity is totally blowing ANY chance of seeing the planned Battlefield Earth 2. That's just fuckin'... psychlo !!
Bwahahahhahahahha...If only Bowfinger was made after Battlefield
it would have a better Sci-Fi spoofing material than Chubby Rain and the Mind Head jokes could have gone on forever. I'd green light a sequel to that in a hot minute...--Syd. -
Jenny Craig! Thats right, he can be the new male spokesperson for Jenny Craig, If Monica can do it, John can too!
he makes me ill!! He needs to retire and die quick! -
i don't buy it for a minute. any pussy that didn't like mi2, and is then gonna bag on travolta... well i don't buy it. the movie sounds funny to me. and you sound too dumb to get the movie anyway.
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i mean, really, where the fuck does everyone here get off on making fun of travolta? just because he makes more money than you? because he gets more pussy than you? because he does the kind of movies that he wants to do? because he doesn't play a fucking hit man every time he's in a movie? you guys are a bunch of cock slobbering cunts living like leeches on someone else's blood. he's a human, he has feelings and he makes mistakes! but, more than that, he's entertained all of you more times than you care to mention!
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Nah, he really does suck.
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I despise Nora Ephron. If I ever see five consecutive minutes of ANY of her fucking films, I'm going to yank my own tongue out of my head and flay the screen with it. Sleepless in Seattle? How about WIDE AWAKE in my CHAMBER OF PAIN, you one-script-idea-having Rosie O'Donnell-loving HAAAAAAAACK!!! Phew, I feel better now. Oh, BTW, I just read an article in the English Observer newspaper by the Bonjovi hairstyler Roger Christian defending his 'movie' Bottomdumping Earth. Sheeee-ittt, what a CRYBABY. 'This film has nothing to do with Scientology,' and 'Hubbard wrote a PREFACE in front of BE saying it was just SF, so there,' and 'I had a really small budget to work with, but I still did a GREAT job,' and 'with foreign sales, this film has already made a profit, nyah, nyah (thereby completely missing the point that if these dopes had bothered to SEE the film, rather than buying it on the strength of Vinnie Barbarino's name splattered in the title, then he would have made no sales at all), and most alarming of all, his claims that Billy Bob Thornton, Quentin Tarantino and Lucas all LOVED the film. WTF?. Then he launched into the old 'do you hate Judaism because I have two jewish producer' line which the COS shills who regularly showed up at AICN before BE was released parrotted. What a loser. Flee back to to your warm little place somewhere up Lucas's ass, you loser.
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I was also at that screening of numbers. I think that guy is crazy. Sure the ending needs a bit of work (you can't really believe that no one gets the money!), but the movie is hysterical and witty and it has one of the funniest moments ever put on film. I won't spoil it but it is when Travolta finds out that a certain body has been found. The audience broke out into applause after laughing hysterical. I think you reviewer has an axe to grind.
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Jun 04, 2000 11:25:04 PM CDT
I just got back from seeing Battlefield Earth. It's hilarious! S
by el duderino
The ending was one of the funniest things I had ever seen! I had never felt like such an asshole, laughing my ass off at a somewhat serious scene. Damn did they spend a ton of money on this or what...
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There are two different John Travoltas, two entirely different human beings who share the same name. The first John Travolta is the young man who starred in SAT NITE FEVER, GREASE, URBAN COWBOY, THE BOY IN THE PLASTIC BUBBLE, and WELCOME BACK KOTTER. He was one of the most delightful, versatile actors of the 70s and 80s, and the movies he made back then are some of the best ever made. Then there's John Travolta #2, who is a ponderous, self-important, scenery-chewing slab of meat who somehow found a career as an A-list "actor" in the cynical, soul-crushing, artistically-dead, whorish 1990s film industry. I'm just waiting for John Travolta #1 to sue John Travolta #2 for libel and slander in order to preserve what is left of his reputation.
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Yo 18Buddhas, your posts alone would be worth the price of admission. Wheww what a spaz!
"he's entertained all of you more times than you care to mention!"
And he has been rewarded with more than a Kings ransom from the fans that have purchased movie tickets to see his movies, good bad or otherwise. So the latest movie he is in blows colossal chunks. So what! And so what if we post our opinions on this talkback site about it. Build a bridge and get over it.
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OK, for all the negative stuff that's been said about Numbers, trust me, its better than that. Travolta was good. People just keep expecting him to be a Pulp Fiction character. The movie is funny. There were a couple scenes in Denny's that really had me laughing. I though Lisa Kudrow was great as the slutty weather girl. Michael Moore had a small part, but he was hilarious! Michael Rappaport and Bill Pullman were really good too.
Don't pin the Battlefield Earth stuff on Travolta for the rest of is life. It was a movie, he took a risk, we didn't like it. Let's move on. And don't hate the guy for making a comeback. Yes, it was a comeback, and people love to build stars up, and then tear them down. Who cares, go to a movie and enjoy it; I enjoyed Numbers.
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I read an earlier draft of the script that I really enjoyed, which was full of sex, nudity, and marijuana use. Supposedly all that fun stuff was watered down or removed, which made the story lose its edge entirely. The female lead in the script is a hot, sexy bitch, which Lisa Kudrow, (goofy, not really very hot in my opinion) is very far from (bad miscasting). The part calls for a lot of nudity which she supposedly refused to do. I would not be surprised if this movie turned out bad despite an early cool script. Overall a pretty deep cast, though. (looking forward to the Michael Rappaport scenes)
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