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The Return of Harry's Rambling State Of Consciousness Coverage of the 85th Edition of the Academy Awards!

Published at: Feb. 24, 2013, 4:50 p.m. CST by headgeek

Hey folks, Harry here...  Last year I took a break from doing my annual bit of rambling typing whilst watching the Oscar broadcast.  I'm already watching this really terrible ABC program THE ROAD TO GOLD.  It has nearly crushed my will with its lack of wit.  To watch film being discussed with such lack of passion and knowledge...  it drives me crazy.   I mean, they described ZERO DARK THIRTY as being "a film about the greatest capture of all time!"  I'm pretty sure "Capture" wasn't what happened.   Technically, they did take the body with them, but do you capture a dead body?  And if you made it dead, does that still constitute a "capture"?   Anyway, the DISQUS talkback system has been having trouble quickly loading.   I will be updating this article throughout the broadcast - or I'm going to try.   We always get an enormous amount of traffic for this article, so let's hope everything goes smoothly.

We all have our favorites - and the anger over what isn't in competition tonight.   I'll be back in an hour to start rambling with the Red Carpet.  Till then, be well.

 

Had to come back to just say how annoying it is for E! to completely ignore the VFXprotest that is going on, while they're clamoring over jewels and fabrics and hair. The VFX protest is a very important issue, one that directly affects the kinds of robust visually dynamic films that we love. The folks rendering these visual miracles need to find some form of security, while they make the magic that so many profit from. If you'd like to lend your voice to this - check out #vfxprotest on Twitter throughout the night.

Ok - we're now watching the official Red Carpet broadcast.   I have to say, it feels so wrong to not have Barbara Walters cry fest before this.   There is a vacuum.  Surprised that someone like Oprah hasn't stepped up to do something with this.   Thus far, other than Jessica Chastain looking amazing.  Now they have Channing Tatum and Jenna Tatum talking about the baby, but I saw earlier on E! that he's doing non-stop work.  So if you love Channing, be ready for a ton of work from him.   

A tv spot for JACK THE GIANT SLAYER just played - I really did enjoy the hell out of that film.   It is a light hearted family adventure.   Wow Amanda Seyfried looks amazing, but she is concerned about her organs being pushed out of her body by the corset she's wearing.   OMG - they have a guess what is in the box.  Whatever it is, is made of over 2000 components.  Hmmmm...  Little Q is showing off her puppy purse - and confirming she's playing ANNIE, but isn't sure if she can sing.   Oh my, it's a hard knocks life for her.   AH  Rita Hayworth in GILDA, such a great film.   Now they're talking to fashion designers about how films have influenced fashion -  THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR, CLOCKWORK ORANGE, CLEOPATRA...  ah yes, Edith Head getting the credit she deserves.   Marlene Dietrich just got name checked.  At this point they're mentioning random actor names.  

Now Jennifer Lawrence being interviewed by this tiny thing.   Sally Field apparently sends Jennifer Lawrence the funniest emails.  Wouldn't that be the coolest, to get funny emails from Sally Fields.   UHURA is playing Nina Simone and talking about the spiritual experience of playing her.   She was trying to talk about AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON, but called it AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN PARIS.  I promise she meant London.   

Now for Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas.  I'm terrified of Michael Douglas as Liberace.   Now Daniel Radcliffe is talking to the Entertainment Weekly editor.  Naomi Watts is talking as Liev Schrieber quietly stands next to her.  Oh.  They sent Oscar on a roadtrip.  This video is so lame.   

Had to miss some while ordering food for family.   Now back

Love that an Austin girl got to go do this Oscar experience thing.   I would love to check out that Disney Archive.  Still haven't yet.   HIROSHIMA MON AMOUR poster!  Nice.  It'd be nice if we had a little to go on, on why these kids are the future of cinema...   Guess that'll be revealed... in time.

Captain America brought his MOM!  Nice!  The Avengers cast is going to present tonight.  Shame they're not up for Best Picture. (I'm really not kidding.)   Robert DeNiro is at the Oscars - though I did not fall madly in love with the film that brought him.  Kristen Stewart is in the background while the host searches for things to say, none of which are interesting.  

Why are they talking to Jennifer Aniston, could they really not find someone more relevant or popular?  I'm just not sure if that served any purpose.  Jennifer Garner is at least married to a man that should've been nominated.   Halle Berry looks great and is there as part of the Bond thing that's going to happen.  Now Adele, she sung the hell out of SKYFALL, which I think is the surest win.  George Clooney has a lot of facial hair and still looks amazing.  Now we have Sandra Bullock, who has a diamond spock ear in her hair.  I see Chris Pine walking around.  Kirk in the house.

Anne Hathaway decided to go the Audrey Hepburn route - with a touch of side boob.  Holy Shit, Ann guessed Dorothy's Slippers and it was right!  Ann Hathaway is a psychic!  Jamie Foxx and his daughter.   He namechecked SPIDER-MAN.   Ah, now Daniel Day Lewis is so elegant when talking about Lincoln.  He also revealed that Spielberg has supernatural youth powers.   

I really can't believe I watch all this red carpet stuff.   It is always a mind numbing thing to watch and comment on this spectacle.  I always love it because it reminds me of like Playboy's LITTLE ANNIE FANNY, where you could spy all the different people there, but they rarely ever speak to the folks I want to hear from.   

Now for a technical notice:  AICN's posting system has a delay that makes it seem like I'm off by a bit.   Just know that the delay is 5 minutes - and that happens with EVERY STORY POSTED on AICN.   Yes, it is something that we're working on, not tonight, but again tomorrow.

Tables of polished OSCARS!  Fascinating.  

I love that we get inside the truck.  But before the show gets underway, I am so happy we got a Queen Latifah catch up, cuz that was totally missing.   OK.   Let's get this show rolling, hope it is far better than the red carpet this year.

And now form a very gltizy st, Seth MacFarlane comes out and Robert Downey Jr seems unimpressed.  The theme is Musicals!  YES YES YES!!!  Have to say so far he seems a bit off.   The joke about Ben's lack of nomination.   His stuff feels weak.

SHATNER!!!  Kirk comes out to say the show is a disaster.  He's here to tell Seth that he's the worst host ever.   The BOOBS song is really bad.  Kirk was right.  The writing is so bad so far.   Channing Tatum and Charlize Theron come out to dance.   Channing seems to be slightly man-handling, instead of being graceful.  Ah Astaire, where are ya.   Now Danielle Radcliffe and BNATTER Joseph Gordan Levitt are dancing and this is the best thing thus far.   Although the spotlight operator left Harry Potter in the dark a bit.   

All of these awkward fake moments are becoming genuinely bad moments.  Now if they don't give the award to Sally, this joke falls through, the worst is that Seth's timing is very off.   His pop culture reference humor is pretty flat.   And the result is a show that thus far seems to be only about Seth.  Ugh.

Octavia Spencer comes out to present Best Supporting Actor Oscar - 

- Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained - I'd love for him to win, but his role was Co-Lead
- Phillip Seymour Hoffman, The Master - BRILLIANT SUPPORTING ROLE.
- Robert De Niro, Silver Linings - this nomination is beyond me.
- Alan Arkin, Argo - not the best scene.
- Tommy Lee Jones, Lincoln

HOLY SHIT!  CHristophe Waltz wins!!!   YES!!! YES!!!!   SO AWESOME!   I sincerely did not believe he'd win.   Though I hoped he would.   Waltz is the very picture of awesome grace and style.   I'm so happy.  He was so amazing to me and Yoko on the set of INGLORIOUS BASTERDS.   And walks off to the score of ET?!?!?

 We return to ET again.   Paul Rudd and Melissa McCarthy come out.  For BEST Animated Short - and a terrible skit.  That never ends.

- Adam and Dog should win, it is the best.
- Fresh Guacamole bad
- Head over Heels ok
- Maggie Simpson in "The Longest Daycare" ugh
- Paperman the winner

Yup, PAPERMAN is the Winner.   I met him at FANTASTIC FEST last year!   I love PAPERMAN, but I did go mad in love with ADAM AND DOG.   Definitely check both out.

Now Paul and Melissa do ANIMATED FEATURE

- Frankenweenie 
- Wreck-It Ralph 
- Paranorman 
- Brave 
- Pirates: A Band of Misfits

BRAVE won. The co-director is wearing a Kilt.  BRAVE was an exceptional.  

 

Now for Reese Witherspoon comes out to introduce three of  the nominees for BEST PICTURE in a monologue, they are LES MISERABLES, BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD and LIFE OF PI.   The clip starts with Les Mis.  Love that movie.   LIFE OF PI is next.  I found the movie to be extraordinary.  Same with BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD.   Which was the most ALIVE film I saw this year.  That was such a believable universe that I almost felt like it was found.  Little Q is showing off her muscles.  Seth throws CLOONEY Booze - and George starts opening it.

Now for THE AVENGERS minus THOR and BLACK WIDOW.  To introduce CINEMATOGRAPHY.  

- Seamus McGarvey, Anna Karenina 
- Robert Richardson, Django Unchained 
- Claudio Miranda, Life of Pi 
- Janusz Kaminski, Lincoln 
- Roger Deakins, Skyfall

LIFE OF PI wins for Claudio Miranda - so Deakins goes home without.   Dammit.   Though LIFE OF PI is unbelievably stunning.   So I can't really bitch.   The 3D was mind blowing.   Great job!

 Now they clumisly introduce the VFX Oscar noms:

- The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey 
- Life of Pi 
- The Avengers 
- Prometheus 
- Snow White and the Huntsman

LIFE OF PI wins VFX too!   You know on this award, I loved the work of all 5, but outside this hall are VFX folks that really would like to get paid.  Wow - the Academy cut them off as they were to talk about #VFXprotest and the hardship for Vis Effects people.   FUCK YOU ACADEMY 

Channing Tatum and Jennifer Aniston come out for Costume Design.  Jennifer had issues with the teleprompter. These are all fine work.

- Anna Karenina 
- Les Miserables 
- Lincoln 
- Mirror Mirror 
- Snow White and the Huntsman

ANNA KARENINA won for Jacqueline Durran - the work in that film is lovely as hell.

Next Channing and Jennifer do MAKE UP & Hairstyle which should go to THE HOBBIT, but...

 Hitchcock 
- The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey 
- Les Miserables

 LES MISERABLES - which was also pretty amazing.  Specially on Hugh Jackman. But let's get real, the work in THE HOBBIT was overwhelmingly superior.  

Seth's jokes seem to be an anti-laugh tonic for me.

Halle Berry comes out for the big BOND number?  The rumor of all the BONDS being there is allegedly false, but Halle just said PUSSY GALORE so I'm happy.   Bond montage queued.  The way they've done this montage is without rhythm or flow.   Very unimpressed, the editing absolutely doesn't reflect the music or the imagery.   Now Shirley Bassey hits the stage to sing GOLDFINGER - and now I'm a little giddy. Rays of golden light arc up behind her.  But I love love love that she's here singing.  Now if only Paul McCartney would show up singing his number.   But Shirley sings the whole song, awesome.   This along with Waltz's win have been my fave moment thus far.  But bad Montage work.

Now Django and his wife hit the stage.  To Present BEST LIVE ACTION SHORT

- Asad 
- Buzkashi Boys 
- Curfew 
- Death of a Shadow (Dood van een Schaduw) 
- Henry

And the oscar goes to CURFEW, the winner Shawn Christenesen is nervous and fearing the Jaws theme.  He thanked his devilishly handsome father!

Kerry Washington doees the BEST DOCUMENTARY Short

- Inocente 
- Kings Point 
- Mondays at Racine 
- Open Heart 
- Redemption

 

INOCENTE wins - Nice Hummingbird tattoo - who was homeless a year ago and is on the stage today.   Awesome little moment.

Liam Neeson is out - to introduce some of the BEST PICTURES like ARGO, LINCOLN & ZERO DARK THIRTY.   As he reads this, he seems a bit drowsy.  ARGO footage kicks in.  LINCOLN, in time will most likely become a very important film in history - mainly because of how it has been used to try to put an end to Washington gridlock.   ZERO DARK THIRTY - I'm not nearly as in love with as seemingly everybody else.

Seth says that the actor that most got into Lincoln's head was John Wilkes Booth.  Man, Seth is more awkward than David Letterman.  Actually that's unfair, I liked Letterman.

Ben Affleck comes out to present BEST DOCUMENTARY - you really should check out these docs, they're all exceptional:

- 5 Broken Cameras 
- The Gatekeepers 
- How to Survive A Plague 
- The Invisible War 
- Searching for Sugar Man

SEARCHING FOR SUGAR MAN wins, thus showing that the Academy wanted to acknowledge a story of discovery and happiness.   That's fantastic.  Great film - and get the music the film discovers. 

Jennifer Garner and Jessica Chastain come out for BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM

- Amour 
- No 
- War Witch 
- A Royal Affair 
- Kon-Tiki - c'mon please win

AMOUR wins - which probably means it can't win Best Picture.  Unless, it just wins from here on out.  

Weird, the orchestra is at CAPITOL RECORDS studio - and isn't playing in the building.  Weird. More seats I guess.

John Travolta is going to be introducing a tribute to the movie musicals of the last decade...  CHICAGO number with Catherine Zeta Jones looking fantastic.  But this is a whole lot of flash for something that just won a few years back.  Now they move forward to DREAMGIRLS - both of which were BNAT films.  Whoever is editing these clips needs to not be hired again.   Jennifer Hudson looking completely different - is here to sing her song against red flood lights.  But I really dislike their choices on this show.  Reminding people of musicals not yet a decade old is fucking dumb and pointless.  Jennifer brought the house down, now the Les Mis cast has a hard act to follow.  Now SUDDENLY is being sung by Hugh Jackman - and frankly I would love it if he took the whole show over from here...  And now Anne Hathaway...  Now Amanda Seyfriend and Eddie Redmayne and Samantha Barks - and they're singing a medley of LES MIS - and this is rather nice.  

OZ THE GREAT & POWERFUL - I am dying for that film - my L.A. friends that have seen it say it is fantastic and I can't wait to see if they are all on crack or the happy fumes from the film.   

Now Chris Pine and Zoe Saldana come out to talk about the Scientific Awards....   

Now Mark Wahlberg and Ted come out.  And Ted wants to know where the Orgy is..  punchline Jack Nicholson's house.

SOUND MIXING AWARD: 

- Argo 
- Les Miserables 
- Life of Pi 
- Lincoln 
- Skyfall

 LES MISERABLES deserves it, because that live singing was the heart of that film.   So glad they won!!!   

Now Ted and Mark are doing the SOUND EDITING - and they have a humor bit that just misses again.

- Argo 
- Django Unchained 
- Life of Pi 
- Skyfall 
- Zero Dark Thirty

TIE: ZERO DARK THIRTY gets to accept first.  Love this acceptance.  

SKYFALL gets the other Oscar.  Has this happened before?  Off the top of my champagne filled head, I can't think of another time.  SO FUCKING WEIRD.

 A Nazi showed up on a painful SOUND OF MUSIC reference.   BUT Christopher Plummer comes out to give the award for BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS and wants to work with all of them in his next 30 films, love that Phillip Seymour Hoffman brought his kid:

- Jackie Weaver, Silver Linings Playbook 
- Helen Hunt, The Sessions 
- Amy Adams, The Master 
- Sally Field, Lincoln 
- Anne Hathaway, Les Miserables

Anne Hathaway wins - and I never ever doubted her.   She was amazing in that film.  Amazing. She thanked Crosby Street.  Lovely and classy acceptance.

I wonder if having the orchestra not in the house is providing some of the lack of energy, but really - overall I think it's the producing team, director, writers and Seth that's to blame for this lifeless night.   Most heinous crime was cutting of VFX awards before they talked about a real issue.   Well, it's back.

Koch is here to talk about the Academy's Museum that's coming in a few years.  The UT girl fought in Afganistan!

Sandra Bullock is here...  to present for BEST FILM EDITING - 

- William Goldenberg, Argo 
- Tim Squyres, Life of Pi 
- Michael Kahn, Lincoln 
- Jay Cassidy and Crispin Struthers, Silver Linings Playbook 
- Dylan Tichenor and William Goldenberg, Zero Dark Thirty

William Goldenberg for ARGO - I would say that's just as hell.  The tension he brought out in that movie was amazing.  Of the field, it should win.  

 Now Jennifer Lawrence comes out to present Adele singing SKYFALL...  Behind her is a curtain of gleaming sparkly - and a live performing body of musicians.  Smoke project effects behind her are nicely trippy.   This is the best Bond song in years - and if it doesn't win BEST SONG, to hell with all of you that vote.  The Blood Splatters are cool.  ADELE seems a bit disconnected though.  But then, so has everyone else that has taken a mike this evening.

We return with Nicole Kidman (GO SEE STOKER when it opens) who is doing a 3 Best Picture presentation to SILVER LINING PLAYBOOK, DJANGO UNCHAINED and AMOUR.  SILVER LINING PLAYBOOK just left me 100% flat.  DJANGO UNCHAINED however was an atomic bomb of awesome wow for me.  Sure I saw it on my birthday, but the film was so vibrant and fun.   AMOUR was so depressing I found.   I was rooting for KON TIKI for Best Foreign, alas.   If it wins BEST PICTURE - people will die.

Daniel Radcliffe and Kristen Stewart hit and Kristen seems to be flirting with Harry.  As she should.  PRODUCTION DESIGN

- The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey 
- Anna Karenina 
- Les Miserables 
- Life of Pi 
- Lincoln

LINCOLN won - so that's an Oscar for LINCOLN.   

Salma Hayek takes the stage to talk about the Governor's Awards.   D.A. Pennebaker, George Stevens Jr, Hal Needham!!!! And Jeffrey Katzenberg.  That's a pretty cool group!

Now whoever parties with Hal Needham tonight, you have my utmost respect!

Man, the man that directed MEGAFORCE won an Oscar.  C Robert Cargill will be insufferable.  

George Clooney comes to do the IN MEMORIAM

Ernest Borgnine, love, Eiko Ishioka, Ralph McQuarrie, Jack Klugman, Celeste Holm, Adam Yauch, Michael Clarke Duncan, Charles Durning, Carlo Rambaldi, Erland Josephson, Richard Robbins, Stephen Franckfurt, Harris Savides, Tonino Guerra, J. Michael Riva, Ulu Grosburrg, Herbert Lom, Bruce Surtees, Andrew Sarris, George A Bowers, Tony Scott, Theodore Soderberg, Lois Smith, Neil Travis, Mike Hopkins, John Lowry,  Hal David, Nora Ephron, Charles Rosen, Jake Eberts, Mike Kohut, Frank Pierson, Chris Marker, Charles Washbrurn, Ray Bradbury, Richard Bennet, Robert Sherman, Richard Zanuck, Matthew Yurichch, Marvin Hamlisch and out comes Barbara Streisand to sing THE WAY WE WERE....    and do a personal dedication to Marvin.   Continuing the Musical Theme of tonight's Oscars.  you want to know why the OSCARS didn't do a full IN MEMORIAM - it's because they link to it, cuz they don't have enough time for the dead.

So they're honoring CHICAGO again, hmmm - wonder if the Oscar producers were somehow involved and are pushing their work.  Hmmmm.

Richard Gere, Rene, Queen and Catherine are here to present BEST MUSICAL SCORE:

- Dario Marianelli, Anna Karenina 
- Alexandre Desplat, Argo 
- Mychael Danna, Life of Pi 
- John Williams, Lincoln 
- Thomas Newman, Skyfall

LIFE OF PI and Mychael Danna - and this is as it should be.  Of these scores it is the best.  I'd give it to CLOUD ATLAS if it were nominated.  But that's me.  Not the ACADEMY.   But LIFE OF PI was a wondrous score.

Now BEST ORIGINAL SONG:

- "Skyfall" - Skyfall 
- "Everybody Needs A Friend" - Ted 
- "Pi's Lullabye" -  Life of Pi 
- "Suddenly" - Les Miserables 
- "Before My Time" - Chasing Ice

SKYFALL wins!  Justice!  But big NO SHIT! At least Adele's husband won't be jealous of her Oscar.

6 more to go.   And the film with the most momentum at this point has to be LIFE OF PI...  But those were technical awards.  So curious to see who wins the big award.  GOD that orchestra is so sad looking in that little studio completely detached from the evening.   LAME! 

Dustin Hoffman and Charlize Theron come out and I'd watch that porn.  They're here to present the Screenplay awards up first is ADAPTED SCREENPLAY:

- Lucy Alibar and Benh Zeitlin, Beasts of the Southern Wild 
- Chris Terrio, Argo 
- Tony Kushner, Lincoln 
- David O. Russell, Silver Linings Playbook 
- David Magee, Life of Pi

ARGO wins!  Well, I'd say ARGO will win Best Picture at this point.  Chris Terrio is very nervous and I love how excited he is.  

Now for BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY: 

- John Gatins, Flight 
- Mark Boal, Zero Dark Thirty 
- Quentin Tarantino, Django Unchained 
- Michael Haneke, Amour 
- Wes Anderson and Roman Coppola, Moonrise Kingdom

 

QUENTIN TARANTINO wins!!!!   FUCKING AWESOME!   His first solo Oscar!   Man, if DJANGO UNCHAINED wins Best Picture And they're rushing Quentin off.  Says it's the WRITER'S YEAR.

Jane Fonda and Michael Douglas come out - and it's a CHINA SYNDROME reunion!  They're here to do BEST DIRECTOR:

- David O. Russell, Silver Linings Playbook 
- Michael Haneke, Amour 
- Benh Zeitlin, Beasts of the Southern Wild 
- Steven Spielberg, Lincoln 
- Ang Lee, Life of Pi

ANG LEE wins - meaning that again it is looking good for LIFE OF PI.  His second Oscar.  "Thank You Movie God!" He'll really rule if he mentions the VFX pros that he couldn't have done it without.  

 Now Jean Dujardin comes out to present BEST ACTRESS:

- Naomi Watts, The Impossible 
- Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty 
- Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook 
- Quvenzhane Wallis, Beasts of the Southern Wild 
- Emmanuelle Riva, Amour

 Jennifer Lawrence has won for SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK - and the hype for the next HUNGER GAMES begins now.  Heh.  I kind of hated this film.  She really is in shock.

Without an introduction Meryl Streep is out to present the Best Actor:

- Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln 
- Denzel Washington, Flight 
- Bradley Cooper, Silver Linings Playbook 
- Joaquin Phoenix, The Master 
- Hugh Jackman, Les Miserables

Meryl Streep says it went to DANIEL DAY LEWIS, but we never saw her open it!  Obviously she opened while we were seeing clips, but it felt dodgy.   Is Daniel Day Lewis really telling a Joke?  HOLY SHIT!  That's the best joke told this entire night.   Daniel has me in tears the first time tonight.  And man I love that man - but I really wanted Joaquin Phoenix.

Jack Nicholson takes the stage to present the BEST PICTURE

- Beasts of the Southern Wild 
- Silving Lingings Playbook 
- Zero Dark Thirty 
- Lincoln 
- Les Miserables 
- Life of Pi 
- Amour 
- Django Unchained 
- Argo

 Now - Nicholson just tossed to Michelle Obama...   Really.   Is she going to talk about DJANGO UNCHAINED?!?!?   Or comment on the truth of ZERO DARK THIRTY?  Hmmmm...  And Michelle Obama just tossed it back to Jack Nicholson.  What a weird fucking evening!  I really have no idea what is going to win.   I have hopes for a few of em.   

And the BEST PICTURE is ARGO

Grant Heslov is one of the 3 sexiest producers alive.  

Ben Affleck doesn't usually associate Jennifer Garner with Iran.

Somewhere Kevin Smith is screaming happily!  

And now for a big musical number...

and here's to the losers...  fuck this...  I don't even want to watch this.   Time for WALKING DEAD.

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