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Ambush Bug here. The below hour-plus long conversation took place between myself, Optimous Douche, Matt Adler, and our host Johnny Destructo of as we talked about AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #700, HAPPY #3, DJANGO UNCHAINED #1, GRIMM FAIRY TALES #80, HAWKEYE #6, EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT IRIS V.3 #1, JSA LIBERTY FILES: THE WHISTLING SKULL #1, NUMBER 13 #1, SAGA #8, X-0 MANOWAR #8, WONDER WOMAN #15, another cracka-lackin’ edition of @$$terpiece Theatre , listener emails, and of course, more general jack@$$$ery!

Looks for more of the Holes rambling about comics on Poptards, follow us on Facebook here, and in future AICN COMICS columns!

Readers Talkback
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  • Dec. 26, 2012, 10:47 a.m. CST


    by unit1421


  • Dec. 26, 2012, 10:51 a.m. CST

    Can't get the quicktime to work for some reason but

    by oaser

    HOLY SHIT ON AMAZING SPIDER-MAN!! What do you guys think? Gimmicky or ballsy? I don't know how to feel. Spidey seems so . . . dirty now. And F Before Watchmen, amirightoramiright?

  • Dec. 26, 2012, 10:59 a.m. CST


    by oaser

    Thank you for FINALLY REVIEWING Hawkeye. (It took you long enough . . .)

  • Dec. 26, 2012, 11:10 a.m. CST

    If the people running Spider-Man get ahold of Wonder Woman...

    by grfrog

    The first thing that will happen will be a sex change, won't that be innovative and fun.

  • Dec. 26, 2012, 11:10 a.m. CST

    gerry anderson rip

    by jon pertwee

    the creator of such great shows as thunderbirds, ufo, joe 90 and captain scarlet has passed on.

  • Dec. 26, 2012, 11:19 a.m. CST

    RIP Klugman, Durning, Anderson

    by DarthBlart

  • Dec. 26, 2012, 11:26 a.m. CST

    I wish they'd had the internet in the '70s.

    by rev_skarekroe

    Spider-Man has 6 arms now? Fuck you, Marvel! I'm through with your gimmicky bullshit!!!

  • And screamed to Santa: FUCK BEFORE WATCHMEN!

  • Dec. 26, 2012, 11:57 a.m. CST

    Why can't you put your comment in quotation marks?

    by rev_skarekroe

    ."I guess you could cheat".

  • Dec. 26, 2012, 12:02 p.m. CST

    Hurry up and recognize that it's a bad idea, Marvel.

    by kabong

    Then off yourselves. <p> No, it's not a threat, Slott. It's a suggestion. And it's better than any of your ideas, dummy.

  • Dec. 26, 2012, 12:02 p.m. CST


    by txubill

  • Dec. 26, 2012, 12:45 p.m. CST

    it am good idea!

    by Poptard_JD

  • Dec. 26, 2012, 12:56 p.m. CST

    Bizarro JD strikes again!

    by Icarus2004

  • Dec. 26, 2012, 1:28 p.m. CST

    At least Auto is getting more original! :)

    by Poptard_JD

  • Dec. 26, 2012, 1:28 p.m. CST

    Oaser: We all liked/loved Spidey 700, to answer your question

    by Poptard_JD

  • Seriously I'm still confused by the complaint. But it has to be done to get a rise, because it makes ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE.

  • Dec. 26, 2012, 3:42 p.m. CST

    As for Spider-Man 700

    by Wcwlkr

    I'm ok it just reminds me of the Clone Saga. Some so called major change that I know won't stick, so I don't really care. I'll probably jump back on once Peter gets back into his body.

  • Dec. 26, 2012, 4:37 p.m. CST


    by Icarus2004

    Looks like we ALL liked Spider-Man #700 (and it DOES feel dirty. Is this great writing, when it can bring an emotional reaction out of you?). As for the Before Watchmen stuff? Dude, the more you rag on it, the more I like it and want to buy extra copies and give 'em to my friends (And I didn't like it that much when it first came out!). Am I getting the feeling you don't like the series? Seriously, how many of them have you read so far...?

  • Dec. 26, 2012, 5:39 p.m. CST

    if parker would stay dead....ok

    by walt

    but he aint, and it is a gimmick and ya, giving parker 6 arms was a gimmick too, but it fit the character, as he always had a love/hate relationship with his powers shoot, turning beast into a blue furred gorilla/then lion looking fuck was also a gimmick...but they kept him that way having doc ock be spidey?? you guys have gotta see the dialogue from the new spidey, its laughable im sorry...but the first thing that i would do, if transferred to a much younger, attractive get laid...not fight crime the doc should spend the first ish getting lots of poon

  • pure genius...cuz that is what the toddler did in the 90s...and it worked for like one arc dumbasses comics are dead burn them...for they are of the devil and i need my collection to go up in value thankyou

  • Dec. 26, 2012, 10:36 p.m. CST


    by oaser

    I've read ALL the Before Watchmen stuff, and loved a ton of it ('specially Rorschach). But Autodidact shits on all the BW stuff, so now we try to beat him to the punch. It's sort of his thing, so we spoil the moment for him when we can.

  • Dec. 27, 2012, 3:14 a.m. CST

    Be-whores WATCHMEN

    by Autodidact

  • Dec. 27, 2012, 10:56 a.m. CST


    by Icarus2004

    Got it! Thanks, man! So, how old is autodidact? Twelve? Alan Moore's long-lost son in America? I don't get it. The rights belong to DC, so they decided to use them, aaannnnd they're wrong to do so...? Oh, who cares. F Before Watchmen! There! Please excuse me now. I have to go read Nite Owl #004.

  • My objection to BEFORE WATCHMEN has literally nothing to do with Alan Moore. I couldn't give a shit about the guy, really. I'm so fucking sick of people trying to act like my opinion is hypocritical... no it's not. You don't understand my opinion. I'm not really a fan of Moore's recent LOEG stuff, but again that has nothing to do with my objection to BEFORE WATCHMEN (and the WATCHMEN movie). The objection is about WATCHMEN itself, as a *singular* work that didn't have any connections to anything else (extremely obscure tabletop RPG that nobody played and the loose connection to the original Charleston characters don't count... don't be so pedantic). WATCHMEN was just sitting there perfect and untainted, one of the few pure things in my psychic garden.

  • Dec. 27, 2012, 11:38 a.m. CST

    ... was just sitting there, perfect and under glass for all time.

    by Autodidact

    Now it's laid out in the street covered with the drool and feces and dribbly brown-tinged jizm of a million soccer moms and stupid marketing victims who don't understand the concept of leaving well enough alone.

  • Dec. 27, 2012, 12:25 p.m. CST


    by Icarus2004

    Don't hold back, man! Tell me how you REALLY feel... I understand your feeling (believe it or not). I have the same problem with a certain few movies out there that I wish to God there had never been a sequel to, but there you go (Mel Brooks said it all - Spaceballs 2: The Search For More Money!). It is just that...well, ranting and raving about it is not going to change anything. The books were already written, drawn, and published. It's over. Read them, not read them, the books are out there, and it doesn't matter how many times you say "FBW", the fact will never change. There's not a damned thing you or anyone can do about it. So... Let's move on and look forward to the NEXT good book and try to forget this ever happened. How about it?

  • But seriously do you think I do? I am expressing myself: FUCK BEFORE WATCHMEN. FUCK IT IN ITS STUPID EXPLOITATIVE POLLUTING ANUS.

  • Dec. 27, 2012, 1:44 p.m. CST

    I mean

    by Autodidact

    but seriously do you think I think it will? Another false premise!

  • Dec. 27, 2012, 1:55 p.m. CST

    Do you think it will...what?

    by Icarus2004

    Another false premise? At this point, I don't even know what you're talking about.... Is this one of those "Protest-for-protest's-sake" things?

  • No it's just me cursing the global gang ass-fucking given to one of the few perfect, singular, self-contained masterpieces in comic books.

  • Dec. 27, 2012, 4:03 p.m. CST

    LOL! might be on to something, JD!

    by Icarus2004

  • Dec. 27, 2012, 4:04 p.m. CST

    Well, Now the "self-contained masterpieces..."

    by Icarus2004

    ...have MORE to contain.

  • Maybe it is more appropriate that comic books as an art form never stops raping itself in the asshole.

  • Dec. 27, 2012, 5:03 p.m. CST


    by Icarus2004

    It is NOT the FIRST time it happens, and it certainly won't be the last. How many times there have been "perfect, singular, self-contained masterpieces in comic books" before some money-grabbing scheme (sometimes BY THE SAME AUTHOR of the original) comes up and screws it up? If we were to spend our lives protesting each one of those, we would never read any NEW books... Remember The Dark Knight Returns? (FUCK THE DARK KNIGHT STRIKES AGAIN) Remember Kingdom Come? (FUCK THE KINGDOM) Remember The Question [1987, Dennis O'Neill series)? (FUCK RENEE MONTOYA) Get my drift? Comics are not done JUST for you. Don't have an aneurism, my friend. Chances are that if Alan Moore had come back to it, he would have fucked it up too.

  • Dec. 27, 2012, 5:05 p.m. CST

    Yeah, you don't get it

    by Autodidact

    DARK KNIGHT RETURNS is sort of connected to everything Batman that came before it, not to mention the DC Universe. Kingdom Come is not singular or self-contained either. Methinks you don't know what those words mean. The Question existed before and after the 1987 Denny O'Neil series. Not self-contained. Not singular.

  • Self-contained: The story takes place within those pages and you don't need to know anything except for what's inside the front and back cover. You could argue that TDKR is self-contained on a relative scale to other Batman comics. But it's not self-contained the way WATCHMEN is self-contained. Singular: The book/movie/game whatever is not part of a series and the characters within don't appear in any other books. WATCHMEN the 12 part series was the only significant thing bearing that title until the travesty of the film. That's what it means to be singular as a creative work.

  • Dec. 27, 2012, 5:21 p.m. CST


    by Icarus2004

    So did every hero that Moore uses in WATCHMEN!!! He just changed the names because he wasn't allowed to tell the story with the Charlton characters within the DCU. So, at best, you are defending a story that was built upon other people's work! "Holy Terror" is self-contained and singular...but it is STILL a disguised Batman and Catwoman story. STORMWATCH / APOLLO/ MIDNIGHTER were "self-contained" (used to be, before the New52) but is STILL Superman and Batman being gay. Every single "imaginary/elseworlds" story is a "self-contained, singular" story that has NOTHING to do with the original series but BUILDS on someone elses ideas. You just take what you want/need/like from it. Or don't. Btw, I'm one of the few people that liked WATCHMEN the movie. Sorry, but I think he did a fantastic job translating it to the screen.

  • Dec. 27, 2012, 5:22 p.m. CST

    Another thing you clearly don't get: IT'S NOT ABOUT ALAN MOORE

    by Autodidact

    I would hate Alan Moore for coming back to it too. Again, it's not about Alan Moore. It's not about whether BEFORE WATCHMEN is good or bad. Its existence violates singularity. Its existence violates self-containment. Its existence is shitting in a formerly nice corner of my psychic garden.

  • Dec. 27, 2012, 5:23 p.m. CST

    And finally: Masterpiece

    by Autodidact

    TDKR, Kingdom Come are masterpieces. I'll give you that. I actually never read O'Neil's 87 The Question so I'll have to take your word on it.

  • Dec. 27, 2012, 8:32 p.m. CST

    Knew you'd go the pedantic route and bring up the Carlton thing

    by Autodidact

    Im obviously dealing with a child or simply a moron.

  • Dec. 27, 2012, 8:34 p.m. CST

    WATCHMEN has nothing to do with the Carlton characters

    by Autodidact

    How many different ways can you not understand something? Your not-getting-it is complete and total.

  • Dec. 27, 2012, 11:44 p.m. CST

    Of course not

    by Icarus2004

    Hey, as long as you understand it, we're all good. Good sequels, though. Maybe we'll get a self-contained, singular continuing series out of this. Keep ranting until they hear you, auto. It's kind 'a fun...

  • Dec. 28, 2012, 12:13 a.m. CST

    Enjoy the marketing cock down your gullet

    by Autodidact

    Beelzebub's load will surely infest your innards with cancerous little tadpoles.

  • Dec. 28, 2012, 12:19 p.m. CST

    Did we even discuss Watchmen this week

    by optimous_douche

    I don't remember I was all whacked out on cough medicine? I appreciate Auto's dedication to his cause. I've enjoyed Before Watchmen, but I can also appreciate Auto's point about leaving self-contained work alone. I felt this way about he Dark Knight Returns, so I already had a prejudice in place when DK2 came out. I wish I had Auto's fortitude so I could forever forget the steamy pile that was the sequel. Again I understand the sentiment I just don't herald he original Watchmen to such a fervent level

  • Dec. 28, 2012, 3:20 p.m. CST

    Naaah! You didn't even mentioned WATCHMEN this week...

    by Icarus2004

    Auto's the "never forget" guy when it comes to that. Frankly, WATCHMEN was a masterpiece, and I would have been fine if they left it alone. Knowing the need to make money in the comic industry though, it doesn't bother me to see someone else take a crack at it. Would it have been better left alone? Sure. Now, they didn't, and that's fine too. That don't take away anything from the original, and people can decide to like it or ignore it by themselves. The DARK KNIGHT RETURNS is still my favorite, and I wanted to claw my own eyes out while reading DKSA. That does not take away from DKR. From my point of view, it makes it even more special, since not even the same author could achieve that level of accomplishment. On the other hand, if we were to remain such adamant purists, we would have never enjoyed The Godfather 2, or the resurrection of the re-inventing of the Swamp Thing character by that english guy all those years ago.